The characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Believe it or not, I was actually quite undepressed when I wrote this! Rated
PG for suicide theme and one teeny tiny curse word.
***********
With a dark scowl, the man stopped dead in his tracks. He was no longer alone. He silently cast his mind out into the
darkness of the corridor, searching for a flicker of a thought from the person he had just heard inching their way along
toward him. Could it be a Death Eater? Voldemort? he asked himself. Certainly at one point they would have never dared
invade Hogwarts, but with the students gone and everyone off guard, it was now quite probable. The person was certainly
hard to read, but his years of careful training allowed him to invade the figure's mental barriers.
~~I should just give up and jump. I've been talking myself out of it for years, but now I've let down my little lions
and my colleagues and there's nothing stopping me. I'd hate to make Filch scrub my brains off the grass... but the
thestrals will take care of my body in time anyway. I'll just jump. I'll be free of the world and it will be free of me.
I'll jump.~~
He could feel the person taking in a deep breath, summoning up some unknown force from within, and he strode briskly to
the window in which the figure was crouching.
"Minerva, what are you doing?"
The woman gave an involuntary exclamation of surprise and slid off the windowsill onto the floor, her cane clattering on
the stone. "Severus, what are you doing up at this time of night?"
"I believe my question came first." Severus eyed Minerva darkly.
"I'm as much an inhabitant of this castle as you, and I have every right to be here if I want!" She was angry at having
been interrupted, that was obvious, but he felt a slight trickle of relief working its way through the back of her mind.
"As do I. I just wonder why a colleague would happen to be hanging out of a fifth floor window at one in the morning. I
do believe your behavior requires an explanation, while mine does not." He still searched her mind, feeling her out, while
masking his face with his usual scowl. He was buying time.
"Why do you care? It's none of your business," she snapped.
He wanted to shout, to stalk off and leave her to kill herself, but something kept him glued to the spot, still looking at
her. "So it's none of my business if a colleague tries to commit suicide right beneath my nose?"
She gasped. "You were reading my thoughts?" Her voice rose sharply, furiously.
Damn. Bad mistake.
"Yes, and it's a good thing I was. Why do you want to die?"
"Why were you a Death Eater?" she shot back.
He bristled. Now he remembered why he didn't like Gryffindors.
"I would think it to be obvious," he replied cooly, trying to remain calm. For a reason unknown to him, he actually cared
that she stay alive.
"So would I." When he continued to eyeball her, she sighed. "I'm useless. I'm a burden to the school, to Dumbledore,
and I let down my children... Harry could have died... Sirius did..." She looked away quickly, but not before he saw a
silvery teardrop easing its way down her face and glistening in the shaft of moonlight.
"I can't even duel anymore and I can barely walk without this bloody cane. I let Hagrid get sacked— Sybill too— and I
didn't protect them. I could have done something about Umbridge... Something to keep Albus at Hogwarts. And poor
Neville... Ron... Hermione... Voldemort is back and I did nothing to stop it." She blinked furiously, but more streams of
silver followed the first.
Snape felt very uncomfortable. He had never seen Minerva McGonagall cry, and he had no idea what to say. He wished
momentarily he had not interfered, but he shook off this thought and tried to speak.
"Even Albus could not stop him. You did your best."
She couldn't say anything, but she shook her head wordlessly.
"I thought you were one of those infernal Gryffindors. Isn't courage supposed to be one of your strong points? Courage to
keep on plowing through life even when things don't go your way?" He knew the words must sound harsh, but it was not
in his nature to be sentimental and he knew how he had hated it when people had treated him like a fragile glass
.
knickknack after his parents had died.
She looked at him for a moment, her eyes still brimming with tears, but filled with something besides hatred. Their
gazes connected for a moment, and each realized with a start that the other understood. Snape gently pried into her mind
once more and knew the thoughts of suicide had left her head. He swept on down the corridor, leaving her sitting on
the floor beneath the window.
"Severus?"
He stopped walking but did not look back.
"Thank you."
He nodded, resumed his scowl, and strode down the dark corridor. But he was changed. He understood.