Chapter II
She focused all her energy into moving one foot, then the other. Left, right, left, right. Must go forward. Must not stop. Leaves crunched under her running shoes in a slightly uneven beat and she winced every time her injured leg bore her weight, but she did not stop. She gasped for air, she had been running for a mile already, but she did not stop. Must. Go. On.
She suddenly tripped on a tree root and felt herself sailing through the air. She cringed, anticipating the hard landing that was certainly coming, and closed her eyes. The roots scraped her face and hands, cutting them and leaving rivulets of blood trickling unchecked. She groaned, staggered to her feet, and touched her forehead, feeling the bloody mess. Muttering a few choice words, she began to limp painfully toward the castle. Her leg hurt. Her hands hurt. Her head hurt. Her heart thudded about in her ribs after the effort of running, making her feel dizzy as she gasped for lost breath. Finally, she reached the castle and flung herself through the door, shutting out the fall evening.
She lay motionless on the stone floor for a moment, her pulse pounding in her temples and a stitch nagging at her side. Her eyelids fluttered open, but immediately closed again as she tried to shut out the black spots that clouded her vision. She was so tired, feeling so limp and helpless, that when the strong arms lifted her body she did not protest.
"What exactly did you think you were doing?" a cold voice intoned. A small sound of pain loosed itself from Minerva's lips and she opened one eye.
"Exercising," she managed to mutter. A cool cloth found the bleeding gash on her head and she winced, drawing away from it, but a strong hand held her head in place.
"Overdid it a bit, I should think." The voice dripped with sarcasm.
"Severus, I tried. I want to be strong enough to be useful again, to just be able to do something right..." One of those confounded tears dripped down her cheek.
"Getting yourself mauled by a tree is not the way to go," Severus smirked. He felt very uncomfortable again and a part of him longed to lose his sarcastic tone, but it was his protection, his shell that kept his emotions from tangling with the rest of the world. Another tear slid down in the path of the first and he a twinge of guilt permeated his shell.
"You don't listen to me. I told you before, there was nothing you could have done," he said, his voice a little less fierce than before. He dabbed at the congealed blood on her palm and her hands tensed. He smoothed essence of murtlap on the sores and her hands relaxed. He almost smiled. Almost.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"And that, Minerva, is the problem." He purposely made his voice cold, impersonal. "If you just didn't care so bloody much..."
"If I could just keep from caring so bloody much."
They didn't speak any more as Severus cleaned and placed snug bandages over the rest of the scrapes. He tipped a trickle of healing potion into her lips and she swallowed obediently. Finally, the uncomfortable process was finished.
"That's all," he snapped. She stood cautiously, testing her legs, and made to leave his office.
"Minerva?"
"Yes?"
"No more exercising."
She turned again to go, then changed her mind and whirled around. "Why do you care?"
He looked at her strangely.
"Why do you care about me all of a sudden? You never seemed to care if I lived or died before. What happened?"
"I still don't care," he said, trying to convince himself of it as much as her. Her brow furrowed and he saw a glimmer of injury in her eyes. "I just show it less than before," he amended cooly. She almost smiled and was almost out the office door when he began to speak again.
"I just wish someone had cared when I wanted it and in some strange, twisted way I believe that by showing some courtesy I can undo the wrongs of those before me."
"Severus," she said. He looked at her. "I'm sorry." He nodded briskly and turned to his paperwork. "Severus," she said again. He looked up, mildly annoyed. "I care. Thanks."
He raised an eyebrow, saw she was telling the truth, and nodded again. She left.