A/N: I'm soooo sorry about that terrible wait. It has been a wild few weeks
and I've had a bit of a mental block. My own story is under serious
construction as I try to make the "cornerstone" as it is called, of society
LANGUAGE! Urgh ok I won't get into that. Hopefully you can expect chapters
daily because of Spring Break.
As for those of you wondering where I got my inspiration. I saw a picture of Frodo from the movie he was caught in such an innocent yet blank expression he looked like a frightened child just trying to understand why this cruel fate had been dealt to him. It touched me so much I just had to write it after all most of his innocence is lost after the Ring was taken from him. Here it is if you would like to see... _ 22.JPG
Chapter --- 18 Fellowship
Sam soon found himself standing outside the tent, shielding his eyes from the bright sun. In his hand he held a smooth, ash walking stick. His Lorien cloak was newly washed and felt cool and gentle on his shoulders. He sighed, he could remember setting out from Bag-End in a similar fashion. Frodo was standing silently at his side and for a moment, just a moment, Sam was able to wish himself away, as if things were perfectly normal, as if nothing had changed.
"Come on, Sam Gamgee, this wishin' is doing you no good." He turned to Frodo who had been watching him expectantly, his mouth moving in silent awe as if trying to imitate the words. "Follow me, Mr. Frodo, we're going to meet some people." Sam lifted his walking stick and set out towards the camps. Frodo followed obediently.
It had taken two days for Envin to entirely convince Sam to visit the rest of the Fellowship. He had to admit that Envin was right and that it felt so good to be up and about again though despair weighed heavily on his heart. He walked on for quite a while, slow and content, through the trees and glades, he sought everywhere for an Oliphaunt but found none. Frodo followed anxiously, also amazed and completely bewildered by the wonders of these trees and of the sun in the branches. At times he would stop and look around, turning his face upwards and scratching his head. Sam would stop and wait patiently and if it seemed that Frodo would not return from his reverie Sam would call him. He always snapped his head back, looking at Sam as if trying to register the words. Sam would have to motion to him or step next to him. Frodo always fell back into step.
It seemed that very little time passed before the two came upon an opening into a sunlit glade where fallen stones scattered as if they were once steps and a small wall. Deep green vines twisted and blossomed with pale flowers all along the cracks in the stones. Sam looked upon the grassy turves and recognized that he was not far from the place of Aragorn's crowning. White flowers were strewn about, not wilting, and shimmering as if with failing moonlight. Perhaps this was the place of Aragorn's and Arwen's wedding as well. Sam felt a pang of guilt for not attending.
"Well, Samwise, good of you to join us." Sam looked up abruptly and saw Merry and Pippin sitting lazily atop one of the stairs. They puffed on their pipes and smiled down at him.
"Longbottom Leaf!" cried Sam, "Why you rascals! Where did you get it? It's been an age and a day since I've had a good smoke."
"Well then that settles it, I insist you join us in a pipe," said Merry with a smirk. "Pip, give him some of your leaf."
"Gladly," Pippin pulled out a little bag, bursting with pipe weed.
"Oh, blast me but I haven't got my pipe. Something I wish I could have held onto through this whole thing."
Merry laughed, "Oh dear, Samwise, I'm sure I have an extra in my pocket. Well what do you know!" He pulled out a second pipe and handed it to Sam. "You really ought to keep your head, Sam. Leaving your pipe in Mordor and all, what were you thinking? Now we're just have to go back and get it I suppose."
Despite himself, Sam laughed and took the pipe and tobacco graciously. He settled himself on a lower step (never too fond of even the slightest of heights). He found it was just what he needed, feeling himself relax as he blew a smoke ring, then two. Frodo watched, mouth almost agape, as the little rings of smoke grew from the pipe.
Pippin smiled slightly and set his own pipe down, watching his cousin. "Frodo?" he said in a voice that he did not intend to sound so meek and young. Merry and Sam turned to him so quickly that the curls on their heads seemed to bounce accusingly. Pippin briefly saw Merry's eyes tear up before his cousin turned away again just as quickly. Sam's eyes followed Pippin though and the youngest hobbit did not know what to do. His hand wavered for a moment as his eyes moved from Sam to Frodo to Merry. Frodo was still watching the smoke drift from Sam's pipe before he realized everyone's attention seemed to be on Pippin. He turned slowly.
He watched the young hobbit seeming much younger than he really was, small and frightened like the little cousin he used to be. Frodo cocked his head wondering what all this distress was about. He looked behind him as if he expected some great monster to be there, frightening his companions. When he turned back they seemed ill at ease. Pippin had set his hand down as his breathing began to take a rapid pace. Merry set a comforting hand on his little cousin's back but could not force himself to look up. Sam seemed to be the only one with the power of speech as he muttered something in self- insult and turned all of his attention to his pipe.
Frodo was very bewildered as he scratched his head and sat down with a little thud. He did not have time to ponder this long for there was a slight sound in the distanced and voices neared. Sam looked up and Frodo jolted nervously.
"It's Gimli and Legolas by the sounds of it," said Merry. Sure enough, the elf and the dwarf appeared through the woods. Legolas was smiling slightly as he wondered at the trees and fair canopies of leaves above.
"Hello young hobbits," said Gimli glad to be out of the thicket of trees and into the sun filled glade. His coal eyes moved from Pippin to Merry then to Sam at the bottom and Frodo sitting in the grass staring at him in gaping jawed wonder. Gimli's smile faded. "I didn't mean to frighten-" he began but Sam cut him off.
"It's alright Mr. Gimli, sir. I don't reckon he's a frightened," said Sam solomnly.
"He isn't?" said Gimli almost to himself, approaching the gaping hobbit cautiously. "Master Baggins?" Frodo cocked his head and blinked a few times. *It's talking to me.*
He was very bewildered by this creature. What did it want from him? Frodo was not very concerned with its actions as much as its looks. He was furry. It was almost comical and Frodo smiled as he saw the beard wagging toward him.
"He can't understand you," sighed Sam as he puffed his pipe sadly. Gimli looked up at Sam and straightened himself as if recovering pride. Legolas approached swiftly and silently putting a slender, fair hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Sam," he began, slowly. "We are all deeply grieved, we feel just as helpless as you. I know no words in elvish or mannish to portray my sorrow, for I loved Frodo very much, as we all did. And even though this is not the Frodo we once knew, we can still hold him dear in our hearts and perhaps one day he may resurface from whatever dark place he has gone too."
Sam put down his pipe and bit down on his lip to keep it from quiverring. He felt his throat constrict as he swallowed his tears. "I know, Mr. Legolas," said Sam in a strangely hallow tone, unnaturally level and not shaking with the emotion that was building up inside.
There was a grunt of displeasure from Gimli and light laughter from Legolas. The hobbits looked up to see Frodo tugging gently on Gimli's beard. The dwarf laughed uneasily and pulled away leaving Frodo's hands groping the air. The simple hobbit furrowed his brow. Legolas's laughter faded quickly as he saw the look of dismay and confusion in the wise hobbit he once knew. It seemed everyone was not at heart for merriment. Legolas seemed to see deeper, far into the hobbit's blank eyes where he saw a small spot of darkness, like a wall, a cage. He sighed, his face never giving away the heartstricken grief he felt. He neared the hole in Frodo's mind, the part of his dear soul that the Ring tore mercilessly at, dragging it down into the fire with It. As he neared it he heard something, like a caged animal...... weeping. Quickly he was drawn away. What was there before it was ripped to shreds and burned in the fires of Mount Doom? He resolved to consult Gandalf on this later.
It was as if is thoughts were heard and the wizard stepped into the glade, Lord Aragorn at his side. "Merry should this meeting be, if fate would have allowed it," said Gandalf solemnly. "Dear was the price we paid for peace!" His grey eyes searched the tattered shreds of the fellowship before him. They were all bowed as if a great weight still bore down upon all of their shoulders, even Legolas seemed to have aged with weariness. The elf's eyes shimmerred and locked with Gandalf's for a moment and the wizard heard his voice in his mind. He nodded in answer and the elf bowed his head, sighing.
Gimli was stroking his beard thoughtfully, his eyes dull and tired. Even Merry and Pippin who seemed once reckless and tireless were hunched over, running the backs of their hands over their eyes. There used to be an energetic brightness to the youngest hobbit's eyes and yet even Pippin had grown old and weary.
Gandalf even saw the despair within the King of Gondor. Aragorn had always born a great burden as a Ranger even before he met Frodo Baggins. He was a strong man, stern and just, leader among his people. He held great responsibility ever since he turned twenty and left the safety in Rivendell to join his people and take his place among them. Now a greater responsibility was upon him and the Kind of Gondor had a great deal of work to do the loss of the hobbit he once held with great respect was devastating for this travel-worn and battle-torn man as well.
It was Sam that caught the wizard's eye. He was small and seemed like a dark shadow among the rest of the fellowship. The sun inside of him had died down to embers that only Gandalf's eye could see. He was weary and despairing almost to the point of great illness, all that he once held onto as safe and constant had shattered before this young hobbit's eyes. Gandalf would have expected even the strongest man to go mad at this poing. Sam had strength left in him. "Too much has changed," said Gandalf, capturing Sam's attention. His eyes were turned away from Gandalf yet his head perked up as his ear twitched slightly. "Even our fellowship which was made to withstand all blows has been damaged by loss and battle. Things have changed for ill... and for good." Sam sat up but did not turn around. "We lost two dear souls whom we shall forever grieve. Boromir has fallen, protecting his fellow members of the fellowship." Pippin hiccoughed and Merry sat up proudly. "We owe him much," continued Gandalf. "He was a bold and brave man and his faults were no greater than that which we all have deep inside. Another great loss was that of our dear Ringbearer who was a beloved cousin, a kind master, and a dear friend to me before he ever had to bear his burden. He proved great strength against the Ring, more than anyone else could have ever summoned. He-"
"He never 'ad ta prove it!" Sam screamed as he jumped to his feet. "He didn't 'ave ta prove nothin' ta me! NOTHIN'! He were MY master afore he were yer RINGBEARER!" Sam spat the word with scorn; 'Ringbearer'. "I don' care if none o' Middle-Earth were left fer you pompous... you..." Sam searched desperately for a word to describe what he thought of every living being on Middle-Earth who survived because of his master's loss. "Ninnyhammers!" he burst into tears. Sam was normally as fairspoken as is education would allow him to be. He was brimming with anger and it poured out in a flow of crude and mispronounced words as he could not get any part of his mind to register anything but fury.
The fellowship was silent with shock but Frodo was just very confused. What had these strange beings done to hurt his protector? Frodo stood and frowned at each of them before running to Sam's side and embracing him warmly. Sam's body hitched with sobs as he looked up. He jumped to his feet imediately as Frodo's hand fell and the simple hobbit tumbled to the ground. He looked up with fear and fright as Sam pushed him away. "Get away from me! You ain't me master!"
"Samwise," Gandalf bellowed strongly but with pity in his tone."Get a hold of your anger, as you can see Frodo cannot do it for you like he used to." Sam stood frozen, his face screwed into an undescribable expression, as if someone had just thrust sword in his gut and twisted it. "I'm sorry to be harsh, Sam. But you have to realize this is not what Frodo wants. What did that pitiful hobbit do to you?" Sam looked down at Frodo whose eyes were brimming with tears.
"I...I..."
"You need to calm down, Sam. And that is why we are here. This fellowship was made to help Frodo bear his burden. Now it will be remade to help you bear yours."
"Oh, Gandalf," Sam quiverred. "I don't... I can't..." He bowed his head and hugged his arms to himself shamefully. "I didn't mean ta... ta..."
"Yes you did, Sam," said Merry sadly. "We all meant to do it. You were the only one brave enough. But I'm not ashamed. I loved him too. No one knew him like I did, save Bilbo. And because we love him so much, we do these things." He stepped down from the stone step and laid a hand on Frodo's shoulder. "And I'll still love him."
The simple hobbit shiverred violently, looking from Merry to Sam rapidly. He was very confused as his eyes darted wildly. Sam crouched down and Frodo withdrew into Merry with a sob. Sam bit his lip and fell back. "I can't do this," said Sam in such a low whisper only Merry and Frodo heard. Frodo's lips imitated the words but no sound came out. "How can he live like this?"
Sam turned pleading eyes toward Merry. Merry looked a little uncertain for a moment then smiled weakly. "With us."
As for those of you wondering where I got my inspiration. I saw a picture of Frodo from the movie he was caught in such an innocent yet blank expression he looked like a frightened child just trying to understand why this cruel fate had been dealt to him. It touched me so much I just had to write it after all most of his innocence is lost after the Ring was taken from him. Here it is if you would like to see... _ 22.JPG
Chapter --- 18 Fellowship
Sam soon found himself standing outside the tent, shielding his eyes from the bright sun. In his hand he held a smooth, ash walking stick. His Lorien cloak was newly washed and felt cool and gentle on his shoulders. He sighed, he could remember setting out from Bag-End in a similar fashion. Frodo was standing silently at his side and for a moment, just a moment, Sam was able to wish himself away, as if things were perfectly normal, as if nothing had changed.
"Come on, Sam Gamgee, this wishin' is doing you no good." He turned to Frodo who had been watching him expectantly, his mouth moving in silent awe as if trying to imitate the words. "Follow me, Mr. Frodo, we're going to meet some people." Sam lifted his walking stick and set out towards the camps. Frodo followed obediently.
It had taken two days for Envin to entirely convince Sam to visit the rest of the Fellowship. He had to admit that Envin was right and that it felt so good to be up and about again though despair weighed heavily on his heart. He walked on for quite a while, slow and content, through the trees and glades, he sought everywhere for an Oliphaunt but found none. Frodo followed anxiously, also amazed and completely bewildered by the wonders of these trees and of the sun in the branches. At times he would stop and look around, turning his face upwards and scratching his head. Sam would stop and wait patiently and if it seemed that Frodo would not return from his reverie Sam would call him. He always snapped his head back, looking at Sam as if trying to register the words. Sam would have to motion to him or step next to him. Frodo always fell back into step.
It seemed that very little time passed before the two came upon an opening into a sunlit glade where fallen stones scattered as if they were once steps and a small wall. Deep green vines twisted and blossomed with pale flowers all along the cracks in the stones. Sam looked upon the grassy turves and recognized that he was not far from the place of Aragorn's crowning. White flowers were strewn about, not wilting, and shimmering as if with failing moonlight. Perhaps this was the place of Aragorn's and Arwen's wedding as well. Sam felt a pang of guilt for not attending.
"Well, Samwise, good of you to join us." Sam looked up abruptly and saw Merry and Pippin sitting lazily atop one of the stairs. They puffed on their pipes and smiled down at him.
"Longbottom Leaf!" cried Sam, "Why you rascals! Where did you get it? It's been an age and a day since I've had a good smoke."
"Well then that settles it, I insist you join us in a pipe," said Merry with a smirk. "Pip, give him some of your leaf."
"Gladly," Pippin pulled out a little bag, bursting with pipe weed.
"Oh, blast me but I haven't got my pipe. Something I wish I could have held onto through this whole thing."
Merry laughed, "Oh dear, Samwise, I'm sure I have an extra in my pocket. Well what do you know!" He pulled out a second pipe and handed it to Sam. "You really ought to keep your head, Sam. Leaving your pipe in Mordor and all, what were you thinking? Now we're just have to go back and get it I suppose."
Despite himself, Sam laughed and took the pipe and tobacco graciously. He settled himself on a lower step (never too fond of even the slightest of heights). He found it was just what he needed, feeling himself relax as he blew a smoke ring, then two. Frodo watched, mouth almost agape, as the little rings of smoke grew from the pipe.
Pippin smiled slightly and set his own pipe down, watching his cousin. "Frodo?" he said in a voice that he did not intend to sound so meek and young. Merry and Sam turned to him so quickly that the curls on their heads seemed to bounce accusingly. Pippin briefly saw Merry's eyes tear up before his cousin turned away again just as quickly. Sam's eyes followed Pippin though and the youngest hobbit did not know what to do. His hand wavered for a moment as his eyes moved from Sam to Frodo to Merry. Frodo was still watching the smoke drift from Sam's pipe before he realized everyone's attention seemed to be on Pippin. He turned slowly.
He watched the young hobbit seeming much younger than he really was, small and frightened like the little cousin he used to be. Frodo cocked his head wondering what all this distress was about. He looked behind him as if he expected some great monster to be there, frightening his companions. When he turned back they seemed ill at ease. Pippin had set his hand down as his breathing began to take a rapid pace. Merry set a comforting hand on his little cousin's back but could not force himself to look up. Sam seemed to be the only one with the power of speech as he muttered something in self- insult and turned all of his attention to his pipe.
Frodo was very bewildered as he scratched his head and sat down with a little thud. He did not have time to ponder this long for there was a slight sound in the distanced and voices neared. Sam looked up and Frodo jolted nervously.
"It's Gimli and Legolas by the sounds of it," said Merry. Sure enough, the elf and the dwarf appeared through the woods. Legolas was smiling slightly as he wondered at the trees and fair canopies of leaves above.
"Hello young hobbits," said Gimli glad to be out of the thicket of trees and into the sun filled glade. His coal eyes moved from Pippin to Merry then to Sam at the bottom and Frodo sitting in the grass staring at him in gaping jawed wonder. Gimli's smile faded. "I didn't mean to frighten-" he began but Sam cut him off.
"It's alright Mr. Gimli, sir. I don't reckon he's a frightened," said Sam solomnly.
"He isn't?" said Gimli almost to himself, approaching the gaping hobbit cautiously. "Master Baggins?" Frodo cocked his head and blinked a few times. *It's talking to me.*
He was very bewildered by this creature. What did it want from him? Frodo was not very concerned with its actions as much as its looks. He was furry. It was almost comical and Frodo smiled as he saw the beard wagging toward him.
"He can't understand you," sighed Sam as he puffed his pipe sadly. Gimli looked up at Sam and straightened himself as if recovering pride. Legolas approached swiftly and silently putting a slender, fair hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Sam," he began, slowly. "We are all deeply grieved, we feel just as helpless as you. I know no words in elvish or mannish to portray my sorrow, for I loved Frodo very much, as we all did. And even though this is not the Frodo we once knew, we can still hold him dear in our hearts and perhaps one day he may resurface from whatever dark place he has gone too."
Sam put down his pipe and bit down on his lip to keep it from quiverring. He felt his throat constrict as he swallowed his tears. "I know, Mr. Legolas," said Sam in a strangely hallow tone, unnaturally level and not shaking with the emotion that was building up inside.
There was a grunt of displeasure from Gimli and light laughter from Legolas. The hobbits looked up to see Frodo tugging gently on Gimli's beard. The dwarf laughed uneasily and pulled away leaving Frodo's hands groping the air. The simple hobbit furrowed his brow. Legolas's laughter faded quickly as he saw the look of dismay and confusion in the wise hobbit he once knew. It seemed everyone was not at heart for merriment. Legolas seemed to see deeper, far into the hobbit's blank eyes where he saw a small spot of darkness, like a wall, a cage. He sighed, his face never giving away the heartstricken grief he felt. He neared the hole in Frodo's mind, the part of his dear soul that the Ring tore mercilessly at, dragging it down into the fire with It. As he neared it he heard something, like a caged animal...... weeping. Quickly he was drawn away. What was there before it was ripped to shreds and burned in the fires of Mount Doom? He resolved to consult Gandalf on this later.
It was as if is thoughts were heard and the wizard stepped into the glade, Lord Aragorn at his side. "Merry should this meeting be, if fate would have allowed it," said Gandalf solemnly. "Dear was the price we paid for peace!" His grey eyes searched the tattered shreds of the fellowship before him. They were all bowed as if a great weight still bore down upon all of their shoulders, even Legolas seemed to have aged with weariness. The elf's eyes shimmerred and locked with Gandalf's for a moment and the wizard heard his voice in his mind. He nodded in answer and the elf bowed his head, sighing.
Gimli was stroking his beard thoughtfully, his eyes dull and tired. Even Merry and Pippin who seemed once reckless and tireless were hunched over, running the backs of their hands over their eyes. There used to be an energetic brightness to the youngest hobbit's eyes and yet even Pippin had grown old and weary.
Gandalf even saw the despair within the King of Gondor. Aragorn had always born a great burden as a Ranger even before he met Frodo Baggins. He was a strong man, stern and just, leader among his people. He held great responsibility ever since he turned twenty and left the safety in Rivendell to join his people and take his place among them. Now a greater responsibility was upon him and the Kind of Gondor had a great deal of work to do the loss of the hobbit he once held with great respect was devastating for this travel-worn and battle-torn man as well.
It was Sam that caught the wizard's eye. He was small and seemed like a dark shadow among the rest of the fellowship. The sun inside of him had died down to embers that only Gandalf's eye could see. He was weary and despairing almost to the point of great illness, all that he once held onto as safe and constant had shattered before this young hobbit's eyes. Gandalf would have expected even the strongest man to go mad at this poing. Sam had strength left in him. "Too much has changed," said Gandalf, capturing Sam's attention. His eyes were turned away from Gandalf yet his head perked up as his ear twitched slightly. "Even our fellowship which was made to withstand all blows has been damaged by loss and battle. Things have changed for ill... and for good." Sam sat up but did not turn around. "We lost two dear souls whom we shall forever grieve. Boromir has fallen, protecting his fellow members of the fellowship." Pippin hiccoughed and Merry sat up proudly. "We owe him much," continued Gandalf. "He was a bold and brave man and his faults were no greater than that which we all have deep inside. Another great loss was that of our dear Ringbearer who was a beloved cousin, a kind master, and a dear friend to me before he ever had to bear his burden. He proved great strength against the Ring, more than anyone else could have ever summoned. He-"
"He never 'ad ta prove it!" Sam screamed as he jumped to his feet. "He didn't 'ave ta prove nothin' ta me! NOTHIN'! He were MY master afore he were yer RINGBEARER!" Sam spat the word with scorn; 'Ringbearer'. "I don' care if none o' Middle-Earth were left fer you pompous... you..." Sam searched desperately for a word to describe what he thought of every living being on Middle-Earth who survived because of his master's loss. "Ninnyhammers!" he burst into tears. Sam was normally as fairspoken as is education would allow him to be. He was brimming with anger and it poured out in a flow of crude and mispronounced words as he could not get any part of his mind to register anything but fury.
The fellowship was silent with shock but Frodo was just very confused. What had these strange beings done to hurt his protector? Frodo stood and frowned at each of them before running to Sam's side and embracing him warmly. Sam's body hitched with sobs as he looked up. He jumped to his feet imediately as Frodo's hand fell and the simple hobbit tumbled to the ground. He looked up with fear and fright as Sam pushed him away. "Get away from me! You ain't me master!"
"Samwise," Gandalf bellowed strongly but with pity in his tone."Get a hold of your anger, as you can see Frodo cannot do it for you like he used to." Sam stood frozen, his face screwed into an undescribable expression, as if someone had just thrust sword in his gut and twisted it. "I'm sorry to be harsh, Sam. But you have to realize this is not what Frodo wants. What did that pitiful hobbit do to you?" Sam looked down at Frodo whose eyes were brimming with tears.
"I...I..."
"You need to calm down, Sam. And that is why we are here. This fellowship was made to help Frodo bear his burden. Now it will be remade to help you bear yours."
"Oh, Gandalf," Sam quiverred. "I don't... I can't..." He bowed his head and hugged his arms to himself shamefully. "I didn't mean ta... ta..."
"Yes you did, Sam," said Merry sadly. "We all meant to do it. You were the only one brave enough. But I'm not ashamed. I loved him too. No one knew him like I did, save Bilbo. And because we love him so much, we do these things." He stepped down from the stone step and laid a hand on Frodo's shoulder. "And I'll still love him."
The simple hobbit shiverred violently, looking from Merry to Sam rapidly. He was very confused as his eyes darted wildly. Sam crouched down and Frodo withdrew into Merry with a sob. Sam bit his lip and fell back. "I can't do this," said Sam in such a low whisper only Merry and Frodo heard. Frodo's lips imitated the words but no sound came out. "How can he live like this?"
Sam turned pleading eyes toward Merry. Merry looked a little uncertain for a moment then smiled weakly. "With us."