Chapter 2

I was being paranoid.

The first week after seeing the mystery man I downed whatever caffeine drink I could find. Just an ungodly amount of caffeine and sugar that kept me up late and then had me crashing hard. Forcing a crash meant I didn't dream as much and if I didn't dream, maybe my little transgression would be forgotten about or unnoticed.

When my body started to get used to the caffeine and I found myself nodding off while typing, I started googling things like intermittent sleeping and if sleeping medication staved off dreaming. The answer was no. So I took to napping a couple hours at a time for the next few weeks, but never a full night's rest.

I was thinking about the mystery guy too much and because of that, I kept seeing him in the brief dreams I did have while napping. He peered into the glass window of the cafe I sat at while a cat served me coffee and a human girl napped on the floor. When I walked across the branches of 100-foot-tall trees, I could feel those black endless eyes following me from far below on the forest floor. As I walked on the ocean floor with a large jellyfish chatting my ear off, I could have sworn it was his reflection I saw on the surface of the water, large and looming.

Thinking too much about something could bring it into the dreaming and since I was so anxious, he was going to appear of course. Right?

The intermittent napping wasn't working unless the goal was to give me bags under my eyes the size of a bean bag chair. Another downside was that I was an adult that needed to work an adult job that required focus, which was not something I had.

After sending the same email to the wrong person three times in a row, I gave up and decided to take a sick day halfway through lunch. A girl had to eat and getting fired for fucking up an important document and emailing the wrong vendors wasn't going to help the situation. I was going to have to sleep. This wasn't sustainable and it's not like that was actually the Lord of Dreams!

Of course not.

I splashed water on my face in the bathroom to try and shake off the increasing numbness I'd been feeling. It was disconcerting how much I'd been feeling this way in the past two years. Almost like the real world was the dream and vice versa. I felt like a shadow and after the few weeks of restless days and nights I'd been having, I wasn't even a solid shadow. I was thin and flimsy and my skin was looking a bit more faded.

My coworkers were chalking it up to the breakup but honestly, I hadn't even thought of Thomas that much. Which probably said something in itself about how attached I had been in the relationship. He'd tried to stop by the office since I'd blocked him but luckily, we had a receptionist who gave me the heads up and he was told I was out of town for a conference. Jennine was a real one.

Hoisting my bag on my shoulder, I began the walk back to my apartment fifteen minutes away. The plan would be to go home, get some sleep, and if I dreamed I would stay strictly in my own. I hadn't gone into anyone else's since Thomas because no way was I risking that, but maybe if I was being watched I could act like I was completely normal and he'd move on.

Completely normal and not able to go walking around people's dreams or remember them during the day or able to break your ex-boyfriend's dreams out of drunken anger. Normal. I could do that. I had years and years of practice before two years ago, I could totally do that.

Pausing at the crosswalk for the lights to switch, I ran a hand over my tired face. Everything was a blur around me, barely registering, and the combination of heat and humidity from a passing Summer rain pressed onto me.

I was exhausted but anxious, the two pulling my brain in every direction. There was no telling how long I could keep this up. If that was the dreamlord and he was onto me, he was far more powerful than I was. He was already outlasting me. But what exactly did I do wrong? I didn't ask for any of this.

A loud bird caw right above my head made me jump, startled, a few seconds before I realized my foot had slipped off the curb and into the street right as a semi-truck passed by. The world came back into loud, sharp focus and the truck blared a honk as it drove passed and my heart raced.

Blinking, I looked up to find a very large raven perched on the streetlight above me. It's head quirked and then it fluffed up its feathers.

My heart was hammering and hands shaking from the close call, but I couldn't help myself from staring at the bird. For a second, I wondered if I was dreaming and the raven had been trying to warn me.

"Thanks for that," I muttered under my breath then shook myself, starting to walk forward as the walk sign turned on.

I needed sleep. I had thanked a bird. And I definitely had most likely hallucinated it bowing its head with a look of understanding before it took off into the sky.

The forest was cold and foggy, the treetops so large and encompassing that I couldn't even see the sky if I tried to in the utter darkness. My breath was coming out in ragged breaths, small puffs of white blowing in the cold.

I was in a nightmare. I hadn't had one in so long, but the sleeplessness and exhaustion had probably brought it on.

My heart was thumping loudly in my ears and the sounds were so loud around me. Tiny snaps of branches. The chittering of bugs and night creatures. I swallowed and tried to calm myself. I couldn't wake myself up if I wasn't calm.

Something was watching me. I could feel its eyes on my back like heat searing my skin. I knew I shouldn't turn, shouldn't look behind me, but I couldn't help it. Holding my breath, I slowly turned my eyes to look over my shoulder into the darkness of the forest. For a second everything was quiet and still except for the soft rasps of my frantic breathing.

Then eyes appeared and then more eyes, hundreds of eyes and dozens of mouths smiling dangerously in stark relief against the black void. I could see the slight inky movement of tentacles reaching and grasping the trees around it.

And then it started to run or whatever version of running a giant mass of eyes and teeth and tentacles could do, grabbing whatever it could to pull itself forward. It was so fast, so very fast and cackling and it rushed towards me.

I took off running.

The monstrous thing laughed, trees breaking under its grip as it bulldozed forward. I flew, hopping over broken logs and dead leaves. My feet were bare, each slap against the forest floor like sharp spikes through my heels, and all I had on was what I had passed out in, jeans and an oversized shirt. The cold stung and the small branches easily tore through the thin fabric and sliced up my skin.

It was gaining on me. I knew it. I wasn't a runner, never had been, and even in this dream world I could feel the sharp ache in my sides that reminded me of that fact. I tried to choke out a cry for help but the cold ate the words away. There were eyes in the forest, eyes all around me, pressing in against me in the darkness. No moon, no stars, only a void and the cold.

There was a door ahead in the distance. I almost sobbed in relief and tried to force myself a little farther. If I reached it, I'd be safe. It couldn't follow me through into someone else's dream. There were rules to the creatures that inhabited the dream world and unlike me, they had to follow them.

Tears stung and I could feel the sharp bite of a dozen little cuts all over my body.

Just a little bit more. The monster laughed louder, closer, teeth gnashing.

My body slammed into the wood of the door, the impact reverberating through me and my own teeth slamming together as I desperately reached for the door handle. It turned easily but when I opened it, my stomach dropped.

It didn't lead anywhere. The frame stood on its own and the otherside was only more forest except now there were rows and rows of doors on either side like a hallway without walls. I shook, sobbing, and ran through grabbing the next door's handle on the left.

Empty. I grabbed the one across. Another empty frame. Another and another. Each one led nowhere but gaped wide back into the dark forest like a neverending taunt. There was no escaping.

The monster was so close and I could see the thrashing of its tentacles whipping around in the darkness. It was so big, impossibly huge as it came closer. I screamed in frustration and fear as one by one the doors led nowhere. Closer and closer, the mouths talked in a chorus of echoing voices, calling my name and mocking me.

Could I die in a nightmare? I had heard about some that were so scared in dreams that they gave themselves a stroke. I had heard of sleep paralysis and then there was dying in your sleep from unknown causes. And I was more aware in dreams, could feel the echoes of them in the real world. Could it kill me?

I shook another door knob in rage and screamed at it, watching it swing back into the open air.

Tentacles wrapped around the frame of the main door that had led me here, no longer running but curling slowly and dragging its body through. So many eyes, wet and roaming all over its body and taking me in. The mouths were fanged and sharp and grinned at me.

"...so ssssscaaared….soooo aloooone…" its mouths whispered, the voice sliding along my skin like thick, sticky tar.

I backed up, staring at this monstrous creature with disgust and terror. I couldn't even feel the pain of sticks stabbing the underside of my feet, the small droplets of blood welling up and staining the forest floor.

It was only a few yards away now, grasping empty door frames to pull itself forward, body squeezing and filling the narrow corridor between doors.

I kept stepping backwards, away, but not sure where to run or if I turned around and tried more doors it would grab me and rip me to shreds with all its teeth. Wake up. Wake up! The words pounded through my head. My back hit wood and I could feel another door at my back. End of the line. I desperately reached for the doorknob blindly and let out another sob when it didn't even open. Locked.

Of course.

"...nooo…where…to..runnnnnnn" the monster hissed mockingly, chuckling as it towered over me.

It lunged. I screamed.

The door opened behind me and arms yanked me back harshly, my body falling backward.

I was still screaming when the door slammed shut and dissolved, leaving me in nothing but an empty black void.

There was no light, no sense of ground or sky or walls, but I could see perfectly. I was shaking so badly. The arms wrapped around my waist let go unceremoniously and I fell to my knees, heaving in deep breaths and shuddering with how hard I was sobbing. It took me a while to understand that I was out of the nightmare, that I was safe. I think. But finally, shaking and face completely wet with tears, I forced myself to sit upright and look over my shoulder at the person who had grabbed me.

The stranger. There he was, standing in the void, towering over my hunched form.

Instead of a peacoat this time, a long inky cloak flowed around him like flickering shadows, flames dancing along the edges. He blended in with the void, made of pure darkness and moonlight. His skin was so pale, like marble, and his hair was a mess of black surrounding a face sculpted sharply from porcelain. But those eyes. Black, pure black, with twin stars staring directly at me, drilling into me. It hadn't been a trick of the shadows back in the bar.

"It's you," I whispered breathlessly.

"So it would appear," he replied, soft but powerful, like silk in thunderstorms.

The momentary relief halted, fear returning to flood my veins. I wasn't sure if I should stand, stay kneeling on the ground, or make a run for it. But where could I even go? He quirked his head almost like he could read my thoughts. Could he read my thoughts?

I settled for slowly pulling myself off the floor, my legs weak from the effort. My clothes were torn and shredded from dirt and blood and the dew of the fog, hair matted to my face and neck. But I tried to at least stand with some dignity even if my feet felt like they'd fall off.

"You-," I licked my lips and could taste coppery blood, "You've been in all my dreams lately."

His face was an unmovable mask as he peered at me with those black eyes, "I have."

"You're the dreamlord," it came out a shaky whisper, as if speaking it out loud would cause the door to burst open and the monster to come in. But he heard me, the barest twitch of a raised eyebrow.

"It seems you do, in fact, know of me," he replied, almost mockingly, "So I can also assume you are not as ignorant as you try to seem about what you have been doing in my realm."

I winced, hands balling into a fist at my side. I was scared and nervous and intimidated but there was this feeling deep down of indignation that I wasn't sure about, "I vaguely know of you, but I didn't think you were real. Just nonsense adults tell kids."

"I assure you I am very real," his words held weight as he took a step forward, "I am Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, and Lord of the Dreaming. And I believe, little dreamer, it is time we had words."

I blinked and suddenly, my clothes were back to normal. No sign of damage or blood or dirt from my run through the forest. I couldn't feel any of the scrapes and cuts anymore, though there was still a ghost of pain from where they had been. I was whole again, in one way at least.

Morpheus stepped forward, a good head taller than me and radiating a power I could feel all around me, "You interfered with another's dream- a dream you should not have been able to access in the first place. And now you seek to hide from me."

I swallowed, staring up into those bottomless eyes, and tried to find my voice, "I…did, but not on purpose!…I- I mean not the interfering part, I did enter another's dream and I did try to hide but-"

One of his eyebrows raised as I bumbled my way through an explanation, "I did intend to enter the dream but I was drinking and I was upset and it wasn't my best moment and before I knew it I was breaking things and-"

"Enough," he cut me off. "You knowingly entered this man's dream?"

Shrugging halfheartedly, I sighed, "I didn't know it was going to be his, but I did know it was someone else's dream. It's…something I've been able to do for a couple of years. For some reason, before that, I couldn't even remember my dreams, much less mess around with them."

His jaw clenched and eyes danced away, a move so subtle I probably wouldn't have noticed it if he wasn't hovering over me. "There were…circumstances that kept most away from the Dreaming for a long time. Even thus so, a dream walker has not entered this realm in centuries and for good reason," Morpheus spoke.

The term dream walker rolled in my head, settling in as if to yes, "Yes, yes, that's what we are."

But I frowned, the fear and tension starting to become an even tenor, almost like my body was getting used to being high strung and therefore it was less intense. Afraid but not as much. Dream was intimidating and powerful, but something itched in the back of my head that whispered, "He's only a man."

Dream walkers had been around though. My grandmother had said she had the gift when she was a kid and that it ran in the family. She wouldn't have known about it unless she had done it herself so that was a lie.

"Or maybe they all learned how to not get caught," I mumbled absentmindedly before realizing I had said it out loud. The implication that he'd been outsmarted, that they'd been under his nose and he didn't even know it.

His eyes instantly returned back to mine, a flicker of anger in them as the twin stars burned red. And that pleased me for some reason. Like I, a mere mortal, was able to get a reaction from him.

"I am the Dreaming," he practically growled, "This is my realm and you deliberately have broken my laws. Mortals cannot traverse through other's dreams."

"If that's so, why can I?" I snapped back. It was like an out of body experience. The exhaustion and anxiety and frustration from the last few weeks of pushing myself to the limit to hide from him had it all rearing up. He'd caught me, there was no more hiding, but is what I did so reprehensible?

"I didn't ask to be able to do this. It just happened and you know what, I'm not sorry," I bit out, straightening myself out and standing taller, "Yes, I did go into another person's dream but I didn't know it would be Thomas'. But even then, that asshole deserves to have his little fantasy smashed to bits."

It had to be delirium that was propelling my mouth, because I'd gone insane. Morpheus' lips pursed and those twin stars flashed in his eyes as he stepped closer, bearing down on me.

"You dare-"

"For two years, I've been a good girl and didn't interfere once," I cut him off, anger roaring in my ears, "I do it one time and you're acting like I might as well have killed someone. So how about we call that fucked up little nightmare that tried to eat me a slap on the wrist, I agree to not mess with anyone again, and call it a day because I am tired of turning around and seeing you in every corner of my dreams."

He stepped forward again, so close I could feel his breath on me. Power rolled off him, his cloak whipping around our feet angrily. The flames from the inky fabric did not burn as they danced off him and brushed against me, the cloak sliding along my skin whispering of dreams and nightmares and stars and shadows and stories so ancient. In the vastness of the black void we stood in, he seemed darker than the mind could fathom.

The Dream King glowered, otherworldly and beautiful and full of fury, and glared down straight into me with hot anger, "You deem to tell me what I should do, little dreamer? You have no idea the games you play. The Dreaming is not your playground to do as you like and I am not yours to command."

I raised my chin, "What is dreaming if not a place where you can play out your fantasies? I didn't hurt anyone and I don't see how I'm yours to command either so we're done here."

The corner of Morpheus' lip twitched in unamused humor. "Impertinent little thing," he whispered coolly, so close to me I could feel it.

"Well you're really going to hate this," I muttered, craning my neck to stare back directly into his eyes, almost a challenge.

I could see Morpheus knit his brow as he tried to guess at my words but by the time his mouth formed the shape to yell at me, I'd already quickly whispered out my command.

"Wake up."

There was no melting away. One second, I was staring up at an angry ancient being and the next, I was jolting upright and breathing hard. My hands gripped the bedsheets, straining to ground myself in some way in the real world. I was awake, the room was whole and empty. No cuts on my feet, no swirling black cloak. No black void, no angry Morpheus. Safe.

I cupped my face in my hands, groaning loudly as my skin settled into normal gravity. I could still feel that anger roiling inside me but reality was taking hold, dousing it quickly in ice as the realization of what I'd done settled in. I hadn't been drunk this time, had only been fueled by exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and the fear from the nightmare. But still, I had yelled at the Dream King.

I had essentially yelled at him and then shut a metaphysical door right in his face. What was wrong with me?

I was so fucking dead.