Chapter 32 --- Night
Night was silent as it befell the wandering company and the stars shone in their cold twilight hovering above Middle-Earth. They had traveled long, deep into Dunland where no man dwelt and the landscape rolled beside them vast and empty. It was a pleasant country, gentle and untouched and a pale green grass there grew. The night was chill for September had fallen and the night shone silver upon the grass and in the sky and in the eyes of the travelers. Sleep was swift to wrap them in its warmth and the pale lamps flickered among the campsite. Sam was deep in dreams and for once he breathed easily with one arm slung around his master to grant some form of protection. But it was a futile gesture for Sam had said it himself, it was in Frodo's dreams that he was tormented, a place where none could protect him.
The simple hobbit found no rest, only warmth against his protector, and he was not chilled that night. Frodo's clear eyes sought the world of night before him, and he sat up and trembled for darkness crept into his mind. He crawled forward away from his protector and cast his gaze upward to the stars. He rested on his haunches and gazed into the twinkling depths of night. Frodo held out his arm before his eyes and then clasped it to him quickly as a memory of a light seemed to flash before his eyes and the image of a gleaming blade filled his mind. He did not cry out but instead quailed and shrank into himself and closed his eyes. But this did not save him and again, now clearer, he saw a man clad in armor gleaming gold and aloft in his hand such a mighty blade that rose and caught the light of the setting sun to shine like fire and blood. The image did not stay but altered and the man became slender and his garb of white and the blade small and thin like a sliver of terrible light that pierced him.
"What has brought me to this?" came a voice in Frodo's head and it was far and distant. "Lost among the mist and shadow." He closed his eyes against the pain and felt himself pressing through such a great cloud that his feet could not be seen beneath and the world seemed skyless, and groundless, and endless. His hands were flailing in front of him and the mist soon sought his eyes and blinded him. Every failing step was toward nowhere and if he turned back or in some other direction he would not know.
"And you will be lost where they can never find you," came an echo of a voice long lost but so clear in his memory it seemed as if the words were newly spoken. And this time Frodo clamped his hands over his ears and shook his head. "Ever seeking purchase in a void beyond recall. You can never know joy if you do not understand it. You can never see a world you cannot recall. You can never know another if you do not know yourself. You can never live if you destroy me!"
And darkness descended upon him and no amount of weeping could clear the mist from his eyes. Hopeless there he lie, under the pitiless stars, in a night of silence. Yet he was lifted and Frodo stirred and saw a light upon him and he squinted but could not recall what he saw and a sound so soft now reached his ears. "Frodo Baggins, look into the water." He was being carried and as the ground reached his feet once more, below him was the clear glass of a still pond. And staring back was a soft creature, with fair face and gentle eyes and a crown of dark curls flanked by moonlight.
Frodo was trembling slightly and he reached out a hand but did not touch the creature. Instead he watched its movements, so careful and guarded. Behind him stood a tall creature of pale golden light and clad in moonlight. "You must stop believing that none of this pain is real, Frodo. You may be afraid but unless you accept this reality you cannot become a part of it." She was smiling sadly but she was not afraid nor was she threatening and Frodo paid no heed. The small creature in the pool moved with him and tears formed in its eyes, but when they fell he shivered and the glass rippled and Frodo turned away. Upon his cheeks were cold waters falling and he knew that they were tears. He looked upon the lady and did no more as he walked away from her, back to where he had come and all he wished then was to lie beside his protector and feel some warmth until the sky was bright again and things were not so dark and still. Her voice followed him and met his ears but he did not halt.
"Do not fear yourself, Frodo Baggins, you will have to confront him in the end."
Frodo seemed to pause but then his eyes rested upon his protector and he lay down and lifted the arm around his shoulders once more and tried to melt away the images of blood and blades in his head.
~~~
Sam awoke as the soft light of morning touched his face. It had been a long time since he slept well and woke of his own desire, like rising from deep and peaceful waters. He had the sudden feeling of being in Lothlorien and thought that the Lady had aided his sleep. He was right for the most part, for that night she watched over the hobbits instead of taking council with Gandalf and Elrond. Sam turned quickly to see Frodo resting beside him, his eyes open and watching the sky brighten. His brow seemed furrowed but a relieved look came upon his face as the world once again was lit with morning.
"Mr. Frodo?" ventured Sam, almost as if a wisp of hope entered his heart. But Frodo just turned to him at the sound of his voice and smiled faintly. It was a wonder to Frodo, something he had noticed in the passing of days, marked by the waxing and waning of light and when it waned and the world fell into a deep darkness all became still as if the world was holding its breath until the rise of the sun. The times when the light flickered and died filled Frodo with dread for as the world became still fell creatures did not and they wandered and phantoms touched his memory and sent chills within him. He could feel the edges of his mind burning with a fire that was quenched only by daylight and the softness of his protector's voice.
Sam put a hand to Frodo's cheek. "Right then!" he cleared his throat and sat up. Frodo followed. "We best be going, sir. The road before us is still a long one and all I want now is the Shire beneath my feet." Sam gathered his bits and things and tied them to the pony.
As the company traveled that day much was silent and Sam's thoughts were on Emáten and the strongest images he could recall of the gentle, clumsy man brought fear to his heart for they were mighty and terrible and all too grand for the simple gardener. Emáten was a kind soul though somewhat clumsy and far too polite, but what Sam had seen of him that day in Fangorn sent chills through him. And it was because of him and Mr. Frodo that this was brought out the in the man. Sam felt a shudder go through him and realized suddenly what the name of Frodo meant to so many now.
Merry and Pippin had found their way to Frodo and Sam and rode quietly beside them. Sam did not say much but he saw that each looked around and kept their hands on their swords. They had heard of what Saruman had done to their cousin from Treebeard, and it hardened something within their hearts. Pippin was rigid and quiet, his keen eyes watching the landscape. Sam had never seen the hobbit so grimly somber. Merry was bent over his small horse and gripping the hilt of his sword tightly. Sam had never seen him so cold. They felt distant to him and they filled Frodo with a tight apprehension. Sam could feel his master pressing into him and heard a slight sob in the back of his throat, he had not the heart to tell his cousins what their presence did to him. The gardener just pressed an arm across Frodo's chest and hushed him quietly, murmuring a soft song or any old thing that came to mind. His voice seemed to ease Frodo.
They traveled long until Sam heard a cry from Pippin and Merry rode near him. "What is it, Pip?"
"There, along the hills to the east. A shadow is moving, he looks like a bent old man, see his walking stick?"
"I see, Pip."
"Should we leave Frodo and Sam and pursue?"
Sam listened to their whispered conversation intently but he offered nothing. He wished to kill the wizard himself, very deeply, but he dared not leave Frodo's side to do so. It would frighten his master so. Merry seemed to be thinking, then shook his head. "As much as I want him dead, cousin, I dare not risk to leave. If he comes, then let him come." Merry moved his sword out of its sheath stealthily and hid it in his cloak. He then turned his steed and once again took his place as sentinel at Sam's left. Sam took this opportunity to lean towards Merry: "Just to be lettin' you two conspirators know, if Frodo should see your fancy sword there I think his heart just might stop."
Merry's face looked aghast and he seemed to press his hand deeper into his cloak to conceal what he held. "Sam, what? Why?"
"He's affrighted of blades more than anything and that's a fact, Mr. Merry," said Sam grimly and his tone was one of finality.
"You're serious," answered Merry and once again sheathed his sword. He took one last look at Frodo who avoided his steel grey eyes and trembled against Sam. "I will not leave though, if Saruman may be near."
"Stay then, I don't think Mr. Frodo is that scared of you, sir."
Merry cast a glance at him with teary eyes, he clenched them shut and took a shuddering breath. "He scared, Sam, that's all I know. He was never scared, he was never this way. I said I'd follow him to whatever end, even if it broke my heart. If I'm nothing else I'm this... devoted to my cousin... true to my word."
Pippin first watched Sam and Merry but his gaze was always drawn towards Frodo. He closed his eyes and tried to recall any image of his cousin before they left the Shire, any image at all. He nearly smiled at the thought of his cousin sitting upon the crest of a green hill, the sun shining golden through his crown of curls and his mischievous smile half hidden in the mystery of whatever elegant prose he happened to be reading that day. He would laugh aloud or sing something fair and fine or even comical. He would swing in trees and tell them stories and speak with a silver tongue and a cunning wit. He was slow to anger but he was no stranger to the occasional scuffle, never the one to start but always the one to finish with honor yet no pride. He loathed to fight, preferring good friends, good food, and good tales around a fire. He was a horrible cook and admitted it happily, crediting Sam to all the good meals. He taught Pip how to fish but was always overprotective of him when they were near the water. He never spoke to Pippin like he was a child and he snored when he slept. He...
Pippin felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Merry looking at him worriedly. It was then that the young Took realized tears were upon his cheeks and he turned away quickly. "Why.." muttered Pippin but he had no more to say.
"It's getting late. We ought to make camp soon." Merry rode ahead a bit and Pippin turned to see Frodo nodding off against Sam, his eyes fluttering in some dream and his mouth partially open. With the rise and fall of his small chest Pippin heard a soft sound. He smiled slightly. "He's snoring."
~~~
Pippin was ill at ease for the rest of the night. He lie awake, wondering, and watching the stars wheel overhead. He wondered, by the sounds of his breathing, if Merry was awake or not. Pippin dare not wake him if he was asleep for he was very restless that night and did not wish to bother Merry who had seemed weary of late.
But Merry was far from sleep and staring coldly at the veil of night remembering old wounds and shivering slightly. He thought most of all, as he gripped his numb and freezing arm, of Frodo and his Morgul wound. He wondered if it plagued Frodo still as the Black Breath plagued him. He also wondered what Frodo would make of it now and how unfair it seemed for him to suffer a wound he could not remember receiving. His keen ears heard a rustling beside him and knew Pippin was not awake. Merry somehow cringed at the sounds as they were magnified due to his acute awareness. He had thought that this perhaps was some benefit towards the horrible wound but it only offered a painful annoyance. Still, he used it to listen for any other movements in the night, his heart seething towards Saruman and what the fell wizard had done to his cousin.
The slight tossing and turning of Peregrin was quickly driving Merry mad and he could concentrate on naught else until finally he could withstand it no longer. "Peregrin Took!" Merry sat up rigidly. "How can a hobbit sleep with your constant figitting and burrowing? Right beside me like a nasty little squirrel trying to scratch his way into my head!" Merry brought up his shaking hands and dug into his own curls viciously, his dark eyes boring into the young Took.
Pippin jumped at the sound of Merry's voice and shuddered. "Very merry you are, cousin, during the day, but the cloak of night brings out a foulness in you!" muttered Pippin.
"As you." Merry retorted, snatching more of his blanket and turning his back on Pippin.
But the insistent Took was not easily put out. "Perfectly sane we seem in the daylight but at night the madness is plain as my nose."
"So goes for all who saw the Dawnless Day and learned to loathe the night," Merry mumbled, not turning around.
"I like the stars," whispered Pippin. "And the moon."
"Until they cast their light on your mad cousin," growled Merry. "Then you speak of fair and foul and day and night and wish I were still in the dark."
"No I don't."
"Then leave an old hobbit be. To sleep with you now."
Pippin went silent but did not fall asleep. Merry could feel his cousin's stare for a while and suddenly began to feel remorse. "Pip," he said softly. "Do you remember when you were afraid of the dark?"
"No," answered Pippin haughtily. Merry smiled and sat up. He slung an arm over his cousin's shoulders and Pippin just looked at him guiltily. "Well, maybe. But I was young."
Merry chuckled and eyed his cousin with a bit of scrutiny. "You still are." He gave his little cousin a squeeze and Pippin gave a sigh of relief.
"You were mean to me when we were little," said Pippin feigning hurt.
"Yeah," answered Merry, sincerely apologetic.
"But not when I came into your room that night I stayed in Buckland. You let me crawl on your bed and wrapped me in my blanket and you kissed the top of my head and promised you wouldn't let me get lost in the dark."
Merry smiled then added, "Yeah and then I made you promise not to tell anyone about it. Thanks for keeping that under wraps, Pip, if anyone ever learned I was going soft I'd..."
"Actually..." squeaked Pippin, sheepishly. He found himself suddenly shoved and Merry was gaping at him.
"Who did you tell?"
Pippin's grin suddenly faded. "Frodo."
There was a long moment of silence before Merry moved closer and put his arm around Pip's shoulders again, squeezing him tight. "I was ten," Pippin began again. "It was when I slept at Bag-End, Frodo didn't know much about children really. So that night when he let me lay in his bed like you did, I told him. I don't remember what he said first off, but he seemed, well, proud of you, Merry. So very proud. Later, and this is all I really remember, he said to me, 'Pippin-lad, you keep an eye on Merry, he's going be some magnificent hobbit, you wait and see.' Frodo was never wrong, Mer. And I never expected him to be, Mer... Merry?"
Merry had hunched over, sliding his arm bonelessly from around Pippin's shoulders. He lifted his shaking hands and rubbed his arms across his eyes a few times. "Merry?" Pippin whispered again when he saw his cousin's back begin to shake with silent sobs. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Merry, laying his head on his cousin's back.
There came a loud, sniffling intake of breath from Merry and the next sobs that escaped him were not silent, his voice rising in his grief. He sniffed again and Pippin sat up, scrounging for his pocket-handkerchief. He offered it to Merry, sniffling a bit as well, but the handkerchief was left unaccepted. Merry wept for a long while as Pippin held on to him tightly and pressed his cheek to his back. Finally when the sobs subsided and Pippin thought he would finally drift off to sleep Merry sat up abruptly, grasping Pippin so he would not fall over.
"I hate the night," he spoke coldly.
"I wonder what happens to Frodo and Sam at night," mumbled Pippin, looking at the ground.
"I am loth to think."
"Now who wishes no light was shone on the truth of night?"
Merry clenched his eyes shut a moment then opened them reluctantly. "But I would like to see them. I hate being apart, even though it isn't that far. I can almost see them over there."
Pippin nodded. "Yes, let's go see Frodo and Sam."
Pippin peered through the brush to the small clearing where Frodo and Sam slept. Near them were little lamps flickering and elven guards at their posts, but far enough for the lamps to strive like tiny points of light in the darkness. Merry glanced at Pippin, both knowing that these were elves of Lorien and it was most likely Galadriel's wish that they be near.
Pippin took in a breath and stepped forward. He wondered if the elves knew he and Merry were approaching. Perhaps they did but cared not for the doings of hobbits and watched solely for the fell wizard. The young Took could hear his cousin's steps behind him but did not turn. He could see Frodo leaning forward, rubbing ferociously at his arms, then clutching them too him in fear. Pippin frowned and took a few steps closer, he could see the desperate pleading look in Frodo's eyes.
Frodo gasped slightly as he heard Merry and Pippin approaching and he inched closer to his sleeping protector. Merry chuckled lightly. "It seems Samwise has no trouble finding sweetness in dreams."
"It seems odd. Sam was not getting rest for a long time. Remember the redness to his eyes. I know he had very few pleasant nights. But now he is wholly encased in slumber." Pippin looked down at Sam who was resting utterly in peace, his hands pillowed under his cheek and his soft breaths even and calm.
"I know what you think, cousin, but if it is an uncouth will that aids Sam's sleep he would seem more troubled I suppose. And the elves of Lorien are all about. No one shall bother our cousin this night."
Pippin frowned doubtfully at his cousin but then looked back to Frodo. "He looks scared, Mer. And I think his arms hurt him, as strange as that sounds..." Pippin scratched his head curiously, "or itch him..."
Merry shook his head. "I don't know." He bent down and grasped Frodo's shaking wrists gently. He held it out to see but Frodo squirmed and snatched his arm back in terror.
"Oh Frodo! What's wrong?" cried Pippin in despair.
"Shh!" hissed Merry. "You want to scare him any more than he already is?"
"I want Frodo back."
Merry bit his trembling lip. "I know... I do too."
Pippin bit his lip. Merry had known Frodo longer than all of them. He had grown up with Frodo. Pip remembered Frodo telling of the time Merry threw a tantrum when Frodo was going to move to Bag-End, much to the proud Brandybuck's embarrassment.
Merry turned his tearful eyes toward his trembling, simple cousin. "You were my hero before you ever bore the Ring, Frodo. I don't think you ever knew how much I looked up to you... what I was willing to do to protect you. I wanted to stay by your side even when I knew what sort of danger you were getting yourself into. I refused to be left behind and I somehow lost you any way."
Merry stepped forward and knelt before Frodo. Like a stab in the Brandybuck's heart Frodo flinched as Merry raised his hand to touch his face. His hand stopped and then simply pushed back a wild, dark curl that was straying into Frodo's face. Frodo opened his eyes again and just stared at Merry unsure what to do. Merry watched the curl bounce back defiantly and chuckled through his tears as a memory surfaced.
~~~
"Come now Frodo! You are almost a grown hobbit, time to start taking care of yourself. Now sit still and let me trim that crop of yours," Esmeralda scolded.
"Ah, Auntie Esmie," chuckled Frodo as he twirled one of his unruly curls with one hand and snatched up an apple with another. "I could stand here and chat with you about my hair until the stars fell out of the sky but..."
"Your excuses won't get you out of this one Mr. Baggins."
"Excuses, beloved Auntie? I wouldn't dream..."
"Sweet talkin' won't do it either." Merry watched the two for a while and then huffed and crossed his arms anxious for his cousin to teach him how to fish.
"I hate to leave my dear cousin waiting!" And with a swoop Frodo had little Merry pig-a-back and tossed the apple back to Esmeralda. "Perhaps a later date, Auntie."
"Mr. Baggins!"
~~~
Merry closed his eyes and turned away from Frodo more out of a desire not to further frighten his cousin than scorn. "Come on Pip. I'm afraid that if we stay a moment longer Frodo will wake Sam."
Pippin slung an arm around Merry's shoulders and stole another glance at a trembling Frodo before he began to lead Merry away. "We miss you, Frodo," he whispered.
The two small soldiers disappeared from whence they came and Frodo crawled forward a few paces, watching them as they went. There came a sudden voice behind him and he squeaked and spun around. There stood the golden lady and Frodo watched his protector curl up more into his blankets and sigh contentedly at her presence. But Frodo did not like this creature and he backed away slowly.
Galadriel closed her eyes remembering Frodo's initial unease towards her when they first met. Her thoughts whispered gently in his mind but this only made Frodo more nervous as he tossed his head from side to side and clamped his hands over his ears.
"No! No more voices!" came a faint thought in his own mind but even the lady did not hear it. Too far and too deep was the true Frodo Baggins.
"I cannot save you, Frodo, nor hear your thoughts whither they are now. The Ring was too cunning. The only one that can save you now is yourself." She bent and ran her hand along Sam's side. "I hope I have offered you some comfort, Sam Gamgee, for Legolas told me of your trouble in sleep." She said this aloud and Frodo stopped backing away wondering what she was doing to his protector. But he had no time to become angry or frightened for she turned and disappeared into the night.
~~~
A/N: I know this was rather uneventful for such a long wait, it was just more of a look on Merry and Pippin's characters since I don't want to neglect them. And I'm sorry to say the next chapter will be short but hopefully eventful enough. Like I said, I've reached the end of my prewritten stuff so the task now seems greater. Another person has taken me up on my challenge for "Just Don't Have the Heart to End It" So wonderful! Take a look. It is by Stoneage Woman, story entitled, "Finding the Heart to End It" A very sad conclusion piece. Go, read, review, we authors thrive on it so!
Frodo's Gal – It's alright, I can see why you are impatient. I, for one, am very impatient to see the reader reaction to my ending! But it's more fun to get reviews about what is currently happening and what the reader thinks will happen. It shows me if I'm being too obvious, or cryptic, or where my writing is leading you. I hope you are enjoying this fic.
Laurajslr – Yes evil plot bunnies! You may check my bio, I have updated it though I'm not sure if it will show yet. Now containing a short little blurb on exactly why I started with all this writing business. The first scene with Aragorn was difficult to write, I didn't want it to be too sappy. I plan to put a dire amount of emphasis on Frodo remembering Envin's treatment. It is a very obvious clue ^^ shhh I have given away too much! Expect to see just a little bit of Envin in the next chapter. Enjoy!
Yahiko – It's "watches" and "psychotic" just so you know. And yes schools are evil. Bloody waste of time if you ask me. Glad you liked the chapter, and that you have so chosen to spare this plebian author's life. I'll just drag out this story to keep myself alive now. ::trembles::
AilsaJoy – Heh I love your email address. I liked Pippin's line in the last chapter too. Expect to see our dear Envin in the next chapter, just a little bit anyway. And when do you plan to update your story, huh? ::taps foot impatiently::
FrodoBaggins87 – Well you're in for a long wait. I suggest you enjoy each chapter as they come, very sorry about that but you see Yahiko ::points up to other reviewer:: has threatened to end my life. Gotta drag things out to spare myself ^^.
ShireElf – I love to keep things as Tolkien intended them as best I can while still using my own original ideas. I hope you enjoy!
Endymion2 – Oh my, I hope I did not dismiss them too easily. I tried to spend a decent amount of time on the partings of all the characters. Also what does IMHO mean? I have seen it in your other reviews before but I'm afraid I'm not sure what it means. Also I forgot to respond to another part in your last review. Yes, we Americans are often loth to learn anything other than English though I wish it were not so. There is much to be gained from learning other tongues.
Cstini – Yes shame on you. Hope you are still enjoying the story though ^^
Night was silent as it befell the wandering company and the stars shone in their cold twilight hovering above Middle-Earth. They had traveled long, deep into Dunland where no man dwelt and the landscape rolled beside them vast and empty. It was a pleasant country, gentle and untouched and a pale green grass there grew. The night was chill for September had fallen and the night shone silver upon the grass and in the sky and in the eyes of the travelers. Sleep was swift to wrap them in its warmth and the pale lamps flickered among the campsite. Sam was deep in dreams and for once he breathed easily with one arm slung around his master to grant some form of protection. But it was a futile gesture for Sam had said it himself, it was in Frodo's dreams that he was tormented, a place where none could protect him.
The simple hobbit found no rest, only warmth against his protector, and he was not chilled that night. Frodo's clear eyes sought the world of night before him, and he sat up and trembled for darkness crept into his mind. He crawled forward away from his protector and cast his gaze upward to the stars. He rested on his haunches and gazed into the twinkling depths of night. Frodo held out his arm before his eyes and then clasped it to him quickly as a memory of a light seemed to flash before his eyes and the image of a gleaming blade filled his mind. He did not cry out but instead quailed and shrank into himself and closed his eyes. But this did not save him and again, now clearer, he saw a man clad in armor gleaming gold and aloft in his hand such a mighty blade that rose and caught the light of the setting sun to shine like fire and blood. The image did not stay but altered and the man became slender and his garb of white and the blade small and thin like a sliver of terrible light that pierced him.
"What has brought me to this?" came a voice in Frodo's head and it was far and distant. "Lost among the mist and shadow." He closed his eyes against the pain and felt himself pressing through such a great cloud that his feet could not be seen beneath and the world seemed skyless, and groundless, and endless. His hands were flailing in front of him and the mist soon sought his eyes and blinded him. Every failing step was toward nowhere and if he turned back or in some other direction he would not know.
"And you will be lost where they can never find you," came an echo of a voice long lost but so clear in his memory it seemed as if the words were newly spoken. And this time Frodo clamped his hands over his ears and shook his head. "Ever seeking purchase in a void beyond recall. You can never know joy if you do not understand it. You can never see a world you cannot recall. You can never know another if you do not know yourself. You can never live if you destroy me!"
And darkness descended upon him and no amount of weeping could clear the mist from his eyes. Hopeless there he lie, under the pitiless stars, in a night of silence. Yet he was lifted and Frodo stirred and saw a light upon him and he squinted but could not recall what he saw and a sound so soft now reached his ears. "Frodo Baggins, look into the water." He was being carried and as the ground reached his feet once more, below him was the clear glass of a still pond. And staring back was a soft creature, with fair face and gentle eyes and a crown of dark curls flanked by moonlight.
Frodo was trembling slightly and he reached out a hand but did not touch the creature. Instead he watched its movements, so careful and guarded. Behind him stood a tall creature of pale golden light and clad in moonlight. "You must stop believing that none of this pain is real, Frodo. You may be afraid but unless you accept this reality you cannot become a part of it." She was smiling sadly but she was not afraid nor was she threatening and Frodo paid no heed. The small creature in the pool moved with him and tears formed in its eyes, but when they fell he shivered and the glass rippled and Frodo turned away. Upon his cheeks were cold waters falling and he knew that they were tears. He looked upon the lady and did no more as he walked away from her, back to where he had come and all he wished then was to lie beside his protector and feel some warmth until the sky was bright again and things were not so dark and still. Her voice followed him and met his ears but he did not halt.
"Do not fear yourself, Frodo Baggins, you will have to confront him in the end."
Frodo seemed to pause but then his eyes rested upon his protector and he lay down and lifted the arm around his shoulders once more and tried to melt away the images of blood and blades in his head.
~~~
Sam awoke as the soft light of morning touched his face. It had been a long time since he slept well and woke of his own desire, like rising from deep and peaceful waters. He had the sudden feeling of being in Lothlorien and thought that the Lady had aided his sleep. He was right for the most part, for that night she watched over the hobbits instead of taking council with Gandalf and Elrond. Sam turned quickly to see Frodo resting beside him, his eyes open and watching the sky brighten. His brow seemed furrowed but a relieved look came upon his face as the world once again was lit with morning.
"Mr. Frodo?" ventured Sam, almost as if a wisp of hope entered his heart. But Frodo just turned to him at the sound of his voice and smiled faintly. It was a wonder to Frodo, something he had noticed in the passing of days, marked by the waxing and waning of light and when it waned and the world fell into a deep darkness all became still as if the world was holding its breath until the rise of the sun. The times when the light flickered and died filled Frodo with dread for as the world became still fell creatures did not and they wandered and phantoms touched his memory and sent chills within him. He could feel the edges of his mind burning with a fire that was quenched only by daylight and the softness of his protector's voice.
Sam put a hand to Frodo's cheek. "Right then!" he cleared his throat and sat up. Frodo followed. "We best be going, sir. The road before us is still a long one and all I want now is the Shire beneath my feet." Sam gathered his bits and things and tied them to the pony.
As the company traveled that day much was silent and Sam's thoughts were on Emáten and the strongest images he could recall of the gentle, clumsy man brought fear to his heart for they were mighty and terrible and all too grand for the simple gardener. Emáten was a kind soul though somewhat clumsy and far too polite, but what Sam had seen of him that day in Fangorn sent chills through him. And it was because of him and Mr. Frodo that this was brought out the in the man. Sam felt a shudder go through him and realized suddenly what the name of Frodo meant to so many now.
Merry and Pippin had found their way to Frodo and Sam and rode quietly beside them. Sam did not say much but he saw that each looked around and kept their hands on their swords. They had heard of what Saruman had done to their cousin from Treebeard, and it hardened something within their hearts. Pippin was rigid and quiet, his keen eyes watching the landscape. Sam had never seen the hobbit so grimly somber. Merry was bent over his small horse and gripping the hilt of his sword tightly. Sam had never seen him so cold. They felt distant to him and they filled Frodo with a tight apprehension. Sam could feel his master pressing into him and heard a slight sob in the back of his throat, he had not the heart to tell his cousins what their presence did to him. The gardener just pressed an arm across Frodo's chest and hushed him quietly, murmuring a soft song or any old thing that came to mind. His voice seemed to ease Frodo.
They traveled long until Sam heard a cry from Pippin and Merry rode near him. "What is it, Pip?"
"There, along the hills to the east. A shadow is moving, he looks like a bent old man, see his walking stick?"
"I see, Pip."
"Should we leave Frodo and Sam and pursue?"
Sam listened to their whispered conversation intently but he offered nothing. He wished to kill the wizard himself, very deeply, but he dared not leave Frodo's side to do so. It would frighten his master so. Merry seemed to be thinking, then shook his head. "As much as I want him dead, cousin, I dare not risk to leave. If he comes, then let him come." Merry moved his sword out of its sheath stealthily and hid it in his cloak. He then turned his steed and once again took his place as sentinel at Sam's left. Sam took this opportunity to lean towards Merry: "Just to be lettin' you two conspirators know, if Frodo should see your fancy sword there I think his heart just might stop."
Merry's face looked aghast and he seemed to press his hand deeper into his cloak to conceal what he held. "Sam, what? Why?"
"He's affrighted of blades more than anything and that's a fact, Mr. Merry," said Sam grimly and his tone was one of finality.
"You're serious," answered Merry and once again sheathed his sword. He took one last look at Frodo who avoided his steel grey eyes and trembled against Sam. "I will not leave though, if Saruman may be near."
"Stay then, I don't think Mr. Frodo is that scared of you, sir."
Merry cast a glance at him with teary eyes, he clenched them shut and took a shuddering breath. "He scared, Sam, that's all I know. He was never scared, he was never this way. I said I'd follow him to whatever end, even if it broke my heart. If I'm nothing else I'm this... devoted to my cousin... true to my word."
Pippin first watched Sam and Merry but his gaze was always drawn towards Frodo. He closed his eyes and tried to recall any image of his cousin before they left the Shire, any image at all. He nearly smiled at the thought of his cousin sitting upon the crest of a green hill, the sun shining golden through his crown of curls and his mischievous smile half hidden in the mystery of whatever elegant prose he happened to be reading that day. He would laugh aloud or sing something fair and fine or even comical. He would swing in trees and tell them stories and speak with a silver tongue and a cunning wit. He was slow to anger but he was no stranger to the occasional scuffle, never the one to start but always the one to finish with honor yet no pride. He loathed to fight, preferring good friends, good food, and good tales around a fire. He was a horrible cook and admitted it happily, crediting Sam to all the good meals. He taught Pip how to fish but was always overprotective of him when they were near the water. He never spoke to Pippin like he was a child and he snored when he slept. He...
Pippin felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Merry looking at him worriedly. It was then that the young Took realized tears were upon his cheeks and he turned away quickly. "Why.." muttered Pippin but he had no more to say.
"It's getting late. We ought to make camp soon." Merry rode ahead a bit and Pippin turned to see Frodo nodding off against Sam, his eyes fluttering in some dream and his mouth partially open. With the rise and fall of his small chest Pippin heard a soft sound. He smiled slightly. "He's snoring."
~~~
Pippin was ill at ease for the rest of the night. He lie awake, wondering, and watching the stars wheel overhead. He wondered, by the sounds of his breathing, if Merry was awake or not. Pippin dare not wake him if he was asleep for he was very restless that night and did not wish to bother Merry who had seemed weary of late.
But Merry was far from sleep and staring coldly at the veil of night remembering old wounds and shivering slightly. He thought most of all, as he gripped his numb and freezing arm, of Frodo and his Morgul wound. He wondered if it plagued Frodo still as the Black Breath plagued him. He also wondered what Frodo would make of it now and how unfair it seemed for him to suffer a wound he could not remember receiving. His keen ears heard a rustling beside him and knew Pippin was not awake. Merry somehow cringed at the sounds as they were magnified due to his acute awareness. He had thought that this perhaps was some benefit towards the horrible wound but it only offered a painful annoyance. Still, he used it to listen for any other movements in the night, his heart seething towards Saruman and what the fell wizard had done to his cousin.
The slight tossing and turning of Peregrin was quickly driving Merry mad and he could concentrate on naught else until finally he could withstand it no longer. "Peregrin Took!" Merry sat up rigidly. "How can a hobbit sleep with your constant figitting and burrowing? Right beside me like a nasty little squirrel trying to scratch his way into my head!" Merry brought up his shaking hands and dug into his own curls viciously, his dark eyes boring into the young Took.
Pippin jumped at the sound of Merry's voice and shuddered. "Very merry you are, cousin, during the day, but the cloak of night brings out a foulness in you!" muttered Pippin.
"As you." Merry retorted, snatching more of his blanket and turning his back on Pippin.
But the insistent Took was not easily put out. "Perfectly sane we seem in the daylight but at night the madness is plain as my nose."
"So goes for all who saw the Dawnless Day and learned to loathe the night," Merry mumbled, not turning around.
"I like the stars," whispered Pippin. "And the moon."
"Until they cast their light on your mad cousin," growled Merry. "Then you speak of fair and foul and day and night and wish I were still in the dark."
"No I don't."
"Then leave an old hobbit be. To sleep with you now."
Pippin went silent but did not fall asleep. Merry could feel his cousin's stare for a while and suddenly began to feel remorse. "Pip," he said softly. "Do you remember when you were afraid of the dark?"
"No," answered Pippin haughtily. Merry smiled and sat up. He slung an arm over his cousin's shoulders and Pippin just looked at him guiltily. "Well, maybe. But I was young."
Merry chuckled and eyed his cousin with a bit of scrutiny. "You still are." He gave his little cousin a squeeze and Pippin gave a sigh of relief.
"You were mean to me when we were little," said Pippin feigning hurt.
"Yeah," answered Merry, sincerely apologetic.
"But not when I came into your room that night I stayed in Buckland. You let me crawl on your bed and wrapped me in my blanket and you kissed the top of my head and promised you wouldn't let me get lost in the dark."
Merry smiled then added, "Yeah and then I made you promise not to tell anyone about it. Thanks for keeping that under wraps, Pip, if anyone ever learned I was going soft I'd..."
"Actually..." squeaked Pippin, sheepishly. He found himself suddenly shoved and Merry was gaping at him.
"Who did you tell?"
Pippin's grin suddenly faded. "Frodo."
There was a long moment of silence before Merry moved closer and put his arm around Pip's shoulders again, squeezing him tight. "I was ten," Pippin began again. "It was when I slept at Bag-End, Frodo didn't know much about children really. So that night when he let me lay in his bed like you did, I told him. I don't remember what he said first off, but he seemed, well, proud of you, Merry. So very proud. Later, and this is all I really remember, he said to me, 'Pippin-lad, you keep an eye on Merry, he's going be some magnificent hobbit, you wait and see.' Frodo was never wrong, Mer. And I never expected him to be, Mer... Merry?"
Merry had hunched over, sliding his arm bonelessly from around Pippin's shoulders. He lifted his shaking hands and rubbed his arms across his eyes a few times. "Merry?" Pippin whispered again when he saw his cousin's back begin to shake with silent sobs. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Merry, laying his head on his cousin's back.
There came a loud, sniffling intake of breath from Merry and the next sobs that escaped him were not silent, his voice rising in his grief. He sniffed again and Pippin sat up, scrounging for his pocket-handkerchief. He offered it to Merry, sniffling a bit as well, but the handkerchief was left unaccepted. Merry wept for a long while as Pippin held on to him tightly and pressed his cheek to his back. Finally when the sobs subsided and Pippin thought he would finally drift off to sleep Merry sat up abruptly, grasping Pippin so he would not fall over.
"I hate the night," he spoke coldly.
"I wonder what happens to Frodo and Sam at night," mumbled Pippin, looking at the ground.
"I am loth to think."
"Now who wishes no light was shone on the truth of night?"
Merry clenched his eyes shut a moment then opened them reluctantly. "But I would like to see them. I hate being apart, even though it isn't that far. I can almost see them over there."
Pippin nodded. "Yes, let's go see Frodo and Sam."
Pippin peered through the brush to the small clearing where Frodo and Sam slept. Near them were little lamps flickering and elven guards at their posts, but far enough for the lamps to strive like tiny points of light in the darkness. Merry glanced at Pippin, both knowing that these were elves of Lorien and it was most likely Galadriel's wish that they be near.
Pippin took in a breath and stepped forward. He wondered if the elves knew he and Merry were approaching. Perhaps they did but cared not for the doings of hobbits and watched solely for the fell wizard. The young Took could hear his cousin's steps behind him but did not turn. He could see Frodo leaning forward, rubbing ferociously at his arms, then clutching them too him in fear. Pippin frowned and took a few steps closer, he could see the desperate pleading look in Frodo's eyes.
Frodo gasped slightly as he heard Merry and Pippin approaching and he inched closer to his sleeping protector. Merry chuckled lightly. "It seems Samwise has no trouble finding sweetness in dreams."
"It seems odd. Sam was not getting rest for a long time. Remember the redness to his eyes. I know he had very few pleasant nights. But now he is wholly encased in slumber." Pippin looked down at Sam who was resting utterly in peace, his hands pillowed under his cheek and his soft breaths even and calm.
"I know what you think, cousin, but if it is an uncouth will that aids Sam's sleep he would seem more troubled I suppose. And the elves of Lorien are all about. No one shall bother our cousin this night."
Pippin frowned doubtfully at his cousin but then looked back to Frodo. "He looks scared, Mer. And I think his arms hurt him, as strange as that sounds..." Pippin scratched his head curiously, "or itch him..."
Merry shook his head. "I don't know." He bent down and grasped Frodo's shaking wrists gently. He held it out to see but Frodo squirmed and snatched his arm back in terror.
"Oh Frodo! What's wrong?" cried Pippin in despair.
"Shh!" hissed Merry. "You want to scare him any more than he already is?"
"I want Frodo back."
Merry bit his trembling lip. "I know... I do too."
Pippin bit his lip. Merry had known Frodo longer than all of them. He had grown up with Frodo. Pip remembered Frodo telling of the time Merry threw a tantrum when Frodo was going to move to Bag-End, much to the proud Brandybuck's embarrassment.
Merry turned his tearful eyes toward his trembling, simple cousin. "You were my hero before you ever bore the Ring, Frodo. I don't think you ever knew how much I looked up to you... what I was willing to do to protect you. I wanted to stay by your side even when I knew what sort of danger you were getting yourself into. I refused to be left behind and I somehow lost you any way."
Merry stepped forward and knelt before Frodo. Like a stab in the Brandybuck's heart Frodo flinched as Merry raised his hand to touch his face. His hand stopped and then simply pushed back a wild, dark curl that was straying into Frodo's face. Frodo opened his eyes again and just stared at Merry unsure what to do. Merry watched the curl bounce back defiantly and chuckled through his tears as a memory surfaced.
~~~
"Come now Frodo! You are almost a grown hobbit, time to start taking care of yourself. Now sit still and let me trim that crop of yours," Esmeralda scolded.
"Ah, Auntie Esmie," chuckled Frodo as he twirled one of his unruly curls with one hand and snatched up an apple with another. "I could stand here and chat with you about my hair until the stars fell out of the sky but..."
"Your excuses won't get you out of this one Mr. Baggins."
"Excuses, beloved Auntie? I wouldn't dream..."
"Sweet talkin' won't do it either." Merry watched the two for a while and then huffed and crossed his arms anxious for his cousin to teach him how to fish.
"I hate to leave my dear cousin waiting!" And with a swoop Frodo had little Merry pig-a-back and tossed the apple back to Esmeralda. "Perhaps a later date, Auntie."
"Mr. Baggins!"
~~~
Merry closed his eyes and turned away from Frodo more out of a desire not to further frighten his cousin than scorn. "Come on Pip. I'm afraid that if we stay a moment longer Frodo will wake Sam."
Pippin slung an arm around Merry's shoulders and stole another glance at a trembling Frodo before he began to lead Merry away. "We miss you, Frodo," he whispered.
The two small soldiers disappeared from whence they came and Frodo crawled forward a few paces, watching them as they went. There came a sudden voice behind him and he squeaked and spun around. There stood the golden lady and Frodo watched his protector curl up more into his blankets and sigh contentedly at her presence. But Frodo did not like this creature and he backed away slowly.
Galadriel closed her eyes remembering Frodo's initial unease towards her when they first met. Her thoughts whispered gently in his mind but this only made Frodo more nervous as he tossed his head from side to side and clamped his hands over his ears.
"No! No more voices!" came a faint thought in his own mind but even the lady did not hear it. Too far and too deep was the true Frodo Baggins.
"I cannot save you, Frodo, nor hear your thoughts whither they are now. The Ring was too cunning. The only one that can save you now is yourself." She bent and ran her hand along Sam's side. "I hope I have offered you some comfort, Sam Gamgee, for Legolas told me of your trouble in sleep." She said this aloud and Frodo stopped backing away wondering what she was doing to his protector. But he had no time to become angry or frightened for she turned and disappeared into the night.
~~~
A/N: I know this was rather uneventful for such a long wait, it was just more of a look on Merry and Pippin's characters since I don't want to neglect them. And I'm sorry to say the next chapter will be short but hopefully eventful enough. Like I said, I've reached the end of my prewritten stuff so the task now seems greater. Another person has taken me up on my challenge for "Just Don't Have the Heart to End It" So wonderful! Take a look. It is by Stoneage Woman, story entitled, "Finding the Heart to End It" A very sad conclusion piece. Go, read, review, we authors thrive on it so!
Frodo's Gal – It's alright, I can see why you are impatient. I, for one, am very impatient to see the reader reaction to my ending! But it's more fun to get reviews about what is currently happening and what the reader thinks will happen. It shows me if I'm being too obvious, or cryptic, or where my writing is leading you. I hope you are enjoying this fic.
Laurajslr – Yes evil plot bunnies! You may check my bio, I have updated it though I'm not sure if it will show yet. Now containing a short little blurb on exactly why I started with all this writing business. The first scene with Aragorn was difficult to write, I didn't want it to be too sappy. I plan to put a dire amount of emphasis on Frodo remembering Envin's treatment. It is a very obvious clue ^^ shhh I have given away too much! Expect to see just a little bit of Envin in the next chapter. Enjoy!
Yahiko – It's "watches" and "psychotic" just so you know. And yes schools are evil. Bloody waste of time if you ask me. Glad you liked the chapter, and that you have so chosen to spare this plebian author's life. I'll just drag out this story to keep myself alive now. ::trembles::
AilsaJoy – Heh I love your email address. I liked Pippin's line in the last chapter too. Expect to see our dear Envin in the next chapter, just a little bit anyway. And when do you plan to update your story, huh? ::taps foot impatiently::
FrodoBaggins87 – Well you're in for a long wait. I suggest you enjoy each chapter as they come, very sorry about that but you see Yahiko ::points up to other reviewer:: has threatened to end my life. Gotta drag things out to spare myself ^^.
ShireElf – I love to keep things as Tolkien intended them as best I can while still using my own original ideas. I hope you enjoy!
Endymion2 – Oh my, I hope I did not dismiss them too easily. I tried to spend a decent amount of time on the partings of all the characters. Also what does IMHO mean? I have seen it in your other reviews before but I'm afraid I'm not sure what it means. Also I forgot to respond to another part in your last review. Yes, we Americans are often loth to learn anything other than English though I wish it were not so. There is much to be gained from learning other tongues.
Cstini – Yes shame on you. Hope you are still enjoying the story though ^^