Part III, Chapter 10
It took all of Ami's strength to lie about her whereabouts to Rei, who had worked herself into a panic by the time she had showed up, and pretend that everything was all right during a boisterous family dinner, which was very much in her honor, as she would be leaving early the next morning.
By the end of the evening, her head was aching, and she was comforted by the dark silence during the car ride. Keika was asleep on her lap, and at one point, Ami placed her hand against the soft, plump cheek. Keika's warmth transferred itself to Ami's cold fingers, and her eyes filled abruptly.
Almost all her life, she had felt set apart from other people. They laughed companionably as she watched from the shadows, smiling faintly and gratefully when included in the discourse. Often, she looked around at people in school, on the streets, anywhere...and wondered how they could seem so different and why she felt so alone amongst a vast populace.
To fill that fearful, lonely space inside of her had come people of light and warmth. Rei had entered her life early on–her fiery temperament and active lifestyle had stimulated Ami to stand up for herself. When their circumstances had changed, Mina brought light instead of fire. She was constantly laughing, and people were always drawn to her. Ami had met others who meant as much to her as these two... Jaden. Nevan. Serena. Lita. Darien.
None of them had had the same effect as Zachary, but he, too, had been a source from which she could draw warmth and confidence. His very smile had held compelling warmth, and he had infused her with life for a precious week before her dreams had come crashing down. She decided that the vibrancy of his personality was not false–of that much she was certain.
But she admitted to herself that no matter how much she liked parts of him, it could not counter other unsavory parts of his personality. He had changed since their last meeting two years ago, but not enough. She steeled herself for their inevitable confrontation.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Zach slammed the phone down in its receiver with an agitated bang and removed his feet from the chair where he'd propped them up earlier. For what seemed like the past hour, he had been dialing Ami's number every five minutes and receiving no response but the answering machine. Rei's cell phone was not on, and he had already left a very impatient, incoherent message on her voicemail:
"Rei, it's Zach. Can you ask Ami to call me as soon as possible? It's urgent. Thanks."
He hadn't left a message on the answering machine, and it was getting late–around nine o'clock. He wouldn't have expected the Mizuno-Andersons to stay out late when Ami was leaving so early the next morning...
Zach sighed when he saw Ami's letter, badly ripped and maltreated, lying on his desk. No one had ever written anything of the kind to him, and he had been completely blown away by her words. 'Please don't let her have seen me and Christie. Please.' Just then, the phone rang, and he fumbled for the receiver a little clumsily. "Hello?!"
"...Hi, Zach. It's Ami."
She hadn't needed to say who she was; he had known from the moment he had heard her voice. "Hey."
He was surprised to hear how normal he sounded. But now he was in a dilemma–should he mention the incident in the bookstore? Had she really seen them, or was it just a coincidence that she had dropped the letter?
"So...you're leaving tomorrow," he said awkwardly.
"Yeah."
"I'll miss you." Her response was not forthcoming. In fact, she didn't say anything at all, and Zach's palms were beginning to get sweaty. "Listen, can I write to you? You still haven't given me your address."
Her voice was surprisingly firm as she said, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Look, Zach...about this thing...about us... I don't think it's working out. We should stop seeing each other. I mean, I'll be away for so much of the year, and it's not fair to you–to either of us."
In an instant, he knew that she knew. "You were there today, weren't you? In the bookstore?"
She debated, for a few minutes, whether she should lie to him or not. "Yes, I was."
"Ami–I can explain–" he said frantically.
"I don't want to hear it," was her frosty response.
"You don't understand! I didn't kiss her, all right?"
Ami smiled ironically as she leaned against her closed door. "Your lips just happened to collide, is that it? I understand. It happens all the time. Maybe when you kissed me, it was an 'accident' too–or are you going to claim that I was the one who kissed you?"
Frustrated, Zach snapped, "Look, it wasn't my fault, all right? Christie is–was–my friend. We went out for a while some time ago, and then we broke up. She called me and said her ex-boyfriend was giving her a lot of trouble, stalking her everywhere and refusing to leave her alone, so I agreed to pretend that we were going out again. I made sure that it was just a sham, all right?
So I met her in the bookstore, and Christie said Devon–her boyfriend–was watching us just a few feet away, so we had to act like a devoted couple. When I realized that he had never been there, she just grabbed me and kissed me. It only lasted two seconds, I swear!"
Softly, she countered, "It was longer than two seconds. I was there, Zach. I saw you two, and you didn't seem to have any problems with it."
"Well, you obviously weren't there long enough! I pulled away right away."
"So this is my fault, is that what you're saying?"
He almost growled in his irritation. Things were not turning out as he had planned. "No! Come on, listen to me, Ames."
"You were kissing her back. For sure." Ami's tone was flat, and she was no longer smiling humorlessly.
Zach sighed. "Fine. Okay, yes I did, for a second. I lost control, and I was in shock, all right? But I really didn't mean to. I did pull away, and I–"
"I'm tired of your 'not meaning to,' Zach. Every time I turn around, I don't want to hear your excuses. How can I be sure that Belinda wasn't just another 'accident?' I'm not wasting my time in a relationship where I'm constantly being hurt."
"Belinda was not my fault. Christie was not my fault. Will you stop blaming me? I couldn't help it in either of those incidents."
"So girls just kiss you constantly, and I'll just resign myself to that fact, won't I? You have some nerve, Zach. I can't believe what you're telling me!"
He insisted on maintaining that he was in the right. "Well, you should! Are you going to break up with me just for such a stupid reason?"
Coldly, she responded, "I feel perfectly justified. I don't think my feelings are stupid, and while I understand that they mean nothing to you–"
"Would you stop twisting my words? I care a lot about your feelings–"
"Which is why you let Christie read my note," she said dryly. "I understand. I'm sure it was very amusing for the both of you."
His face was turning red in anger and embarrassment, and his helpless frustration was fading as their argument escalated. "I stood up to go, and I stepped on it and picked it up. Christie just grabbed it out of my hand and read it. There was nothing I could do about it. That wasn't my fault!"
"Nothing ever is, is it?"
"No–Ami, I was furious with her. Your note...I was...no one has ever written anything so meaningful to me. I'm really sorry she had to see it." Zach sighed, trying to find the words to express his sentiments, but it was awkward for him to be saying "I feel touched."
Her voice was slightly gentler but still very firm as she replied, "Well, so am I. I just can't trust you, Zach, and our relationship can't get very far without it. Fidelity and trust are important to me."
"They're important to me, too," he protested.
"You're not going to change my mind. I don't want to be a relationship now, not after all that's happened. It's not the right time for me."
His temper flared anew. "And I always thought you were less stubborn than Rei. Don't give up on us just because you're afraid, Ami."
"Afraid? Is that what you think I am?" She had never felt angrier in her life. "Well, if you want someone less stubborn, I'm sure Christie, or Belinda, or any of your other 'friends' would fit that description."
Zach ignored her. "We can make it work. This 'not the right time' thing is bullshit. It's some stupid excuse you've trumped up because you're not willing to try."
"I'm not willing to try? You're the one who's kissing girls–being kissed, as you keep saying–left and right. It's over, Zach. Just accept it and move on, as I'm sure you'll do the very next thing tomorrow morning."
"You've always had a low opinion of me and just never gotten over it."
"Maybe because everything I heard turned out to be true! You're a chauvinistic, self-centered flirt who will never mature. You keep saying you've changed–but it takes more than two years to change someone like you. I doubt that a lifetime could do it."
"And you're being an unforgiving, closed-minded prude!"
Ami's reply was very icy as she replied, "Then I don't see why you're protesting about the breakup. You obviously want nothing to do with me, and I'd be happy to never see your face again." With that, she hung up the phone–the only way she was certain she could get the last word.
Zach stared at the receiver in disbelief as monotonous beeping issued from the earpiece. A minute later, he slammed it down again and stalked into the music room to play Bach's Three Part Inventions very loudly and very badly.
Once her anger had faded, Ami dropped the phone onto the carpet. It landed with a soft thump, and she covered her face with her hands to stifle her sobs. Rei had been reading Keika and her sister Satsuki a bedtime story, and the adults were downstairs. No one had heard their argument. The tears streamed down her face as she threw herself on her bed. 'How could you say something like that to me, Zach?'
Ten minutes later, Rei knocked on the door. When there was no reply, she opened the door, and her eyes were wide when she saw Ami lying face-down on the bed. "Is something wrong? I thought I heard you shouting before...were you on the phone with someone?"
When Ami lifted her face, Rei saw her red eyes and nose and immediately sat down on the bed and hugged her. "What's wrong? What happened?"
The more sympathy one gets in such times, the worse one feels. Ami broke down again against her will, and the whole story–along with many more tears–flooded out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jaden stuck his head in the door, a quizzical look on his face. "Look, Zach, I understand the separation anxiety you must be feeling, but would you please keep it down? Some of us are getting headaches, and would you please spare the poor piano? It can't take this abuse, and you sound like crap."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Zach said coolly without stopping his playing.
"You know, Ami leaving tomorrow." Despite the deafening noise, he walked completely into the room and sprawled lazily on the couch.
Zach's hands stilled, but his back was still turned to his brother when he said quietly, "I won't be missing her, and she won't be missing me. We just broke up."
Jaden sat up quickly. "What? What did you do?"
Irritably, he snapped, "Whenever something goes wrong, why does everyone assume it's my fault?"
Nothing would satisfy Jaden until he heard the story in full, and once Zach was finished, he was starting to feel incredibly embarrassed of himself. Jaden gave him hell as well as Rei could have done it until he saw how distraught Zach was.
"...what I never understood was why you never saw through Christie. She was just as bad as some of your other girlfriends...just a little bit smarter. Well, a lot smarter."
"I never knew why you hated her until today."
"She was really angry when you broke up with her. Like majorly pissed off..she just never showed it around you."
Zach sighed. "Well, it's a little late to be telling me this, isn't it?"
Jaden shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry, but I always thought you would figure it out for yourself one day. I didn't think something like this would happen. So what are you going to do now?"
"What can I do? You want me to beg for forgiveness again? You heard the things she said about me. She thinks I'm scum."
"Well, you acted like scum! You provoked her into saying the things she did, and she also made you say some pretty nasty things back. You might have had a better chance if that hadn't happened, Zach... I mean, it sounds like she didn't want to talk about the incident and just have a quiet breakup where both of you agree to go your separate ways...not that it ever happens like that."
"So what am I going to do?"
Jaden's unhelpful reply was "Fix your own messes for once." When Zach gave him a very evil glare, he amended, "Fine, I'll see if I can talk to Rei about it..."
"Please no," he said immediately, dreading her reaction.
His brother smiled pityingly. "You really think Ami won't have told her about it by now? You know girls...they talk about everything. I'll see if Rei can come up with something...but I'd recommend that you stay away from her for the next semester or so."
"Why did you have to date a girl who has a black belt in karate?"
"Why did you have to go and piss off her cousin?"
Zach rolled his eyes. "That was a hypothetical question."
"Your dating is now a hypothetical situation."
There was a pause before Zach said without much fire in him, "Don't be an asshole. I'm already depressed enough as it is."
Jaden gave him a very brief pat on the shoulder before he left with the melancholy strains of Mariage D'amour in his ears.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two months later, Rei had gotten over most of her anger and was even feeling sympathetic towards Zachary's plight. She called Ami one night, and after they chatted about school, family, and other parts of daily life...
"So, about Zach–"
"I don't want to talk about this, Rei," she said determinedly.
"I know, I know. But you may have to. Are you just planning to avoid him for the rest of your life? It's not going to work."
Ami sighed. Good intentions were annoying. "Yes, I am, and yes, it is going to work. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it."
Rei rolled her eyes. "What a worthy cause to be putting all those brain cells towards... But Ami...suppose that in the far future, if I happen to marrying Jade–"
"What?!"
"It's a purely hypothetical situation!" Her cheeks were a little red, but she continued on doggedly. "So in this purely hypothetical wedding, Zach would be the best man, and you would be my maid of honor. How is this going to work if you're not going to see him? Wear sunglasses? An impermeable veil so you can't see where you're going and have him guide you like a seeing eye-dog?"
Ami was not seeing the humor that Rei was. "Who would you rather have at your wedding," she asked sweetly, "me or him?"
"I'm not choosing between the two of you!"
"Then maybe you won't have to."
"What?!"
Ami glanced towards the open window on her computer, which was displaying a sophisticated website. "I'm not talking about your wedding, which is less hypothetical than you say, and we both know it. Things are going to be awkward during spring break, particularly if everyone is going to be hanging out together and Zach and I aren't ever going to be in the same place at the same time.
I've been considering participating in a foreign study program for a while. I would live with a family...finish high school...I may even choose to pursue a career there."
Rei had a very bad feeling about this. "Where are you going?" she demanded.
"The program is very prestigious, and I'm sure that after taking a few tests, I could get into a very good high school... I'm particularly interested in the classes they're offering... Mom and Dad will agree, even if they won't like it..."
"Would you spit it out already?!"
"Japan. I want to go to Japan."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: I'm not sure how many of you know Mariage D'amour, but it's by Paul de Senneville and Olivier Toussaint (French). It's an awesome song, but really sad for something that's supposed to be about a marriage of love...@.@ I also recommend Souvenir D'enfance (Memory of Childhood, or something along those lines).
I figured a speedy chapter was due in compensation for all the confusion...tried to do the breakup scene as well as I could, hope it wasn't too bad. Part 3 is complete, Ami will be going to Japan, and Part 4 takes place there–along with a fairly bearable Taiki (not as OOC as Saffir was). I am now off to do my fourth English essay for the week... x.X Thank you for reading and reviewing!
~Ice
P.S. Slice: it's not as bad as it sounds, really!! I mean, things are not so happy now, but next part Zach redeems himself, and there shouldn't be many more misunderstandings along the way…and Rei and Jade can officially have no more fights ^^;;
Thanks, Wyse! ^^
KAZE!! I am so sorry ;; that I never replied to your e-mail…it was sitting in my hotmail inbox, and I always meant to reply, but then I didn't check hotmail for awhile..I didn't realize Chapter 7 was sitting in there!! I'm very sorry. I will edit it ASAP!!!!