HOUSE OF CARDS
Disclaimer:I don't own them. As far as my sanity's concerned, that could be a good thing.
Grissom had just finished his conversation with Elliott when someone knocked on the door and two someones came in without waiting for a response. "Hey Griss, what's going on?" Warrick asked, obviously getting straight to the point of why they were there.
Grissom sighed. "Some maniac held Nick up at a crime scene. Sara shot him from behind. Internal Affairs are having a field day."
"You're joking," said Catherine flatly. "Did she actually kill him?"
"Yes. She thought he was about to shoot Nick."
Catherine dropped into a chair, concern clear on her face. "Are they all right?"
Shrugging, Grissom looked from her to Warrick. "I have no idea, I haven't been able to talk to them. They've been with IA."
"But they cleared Sara, right?" Warrick asked.
Grissom shook his head and told them about the conversation with David Elliott. It was punctuated, rather predictably, by outraged comments.
"That's ancient history!" Catherine snapped as soon as Grissom's recital was over. She'd been growing more and more furious. "Surely there's nothing they can do about all that now."
"Yeah, Griss, we've all been toeing the line these last few years. Nothing to complain about, right?" Warrick looked more indignant than Grissom had ever seen him look.
"It's not me who needs to be convinced." Grissom looked at his colleagues, and decided to tell them something Elliott had taken great delight in. They were bound to find out anyway, now. "And that's not quite the case, Warrick, much as I wish it was."
"Why?" he asked worriedly.
"Because Ecklie lodged an improper conduct charge against Sara and Nick three months ago. I spoke to them about it, but the charge had to go into their files. IA say it was inappropriate to allow them to continue working in the field together."
"Improper conduct?" Catherine exploded. "Sara? Is Ecklie delusional? What does he say they did?"
"He caught them kissing in the locker room," said Grissom dully, acutely aware that with other people and in other situations this scene might have been funny.
"Serious?" Warrick asked.
"Oh yes. They promised not to let it happen again and not to let it interfere with their work, and I just couldn't discipline them any further. Sara.... I let it go." Suddenly tired, Grissom looked down at his desk. "The man I spoke with from IA is suggesting that Sara over-reacted and failed to follow correct procedures, and that she did that because her judgement was impaired due to her personal relationship with Nick."
"So what? He thinks Sara wouldn't have fired had it been you or me or Warrick or, I don't know, Ronnie from QD instead of Nick?" Catherine made an exasperated noise. "Well, obviously, Grissom, I was having a personal relationship with you when I shot Syd Goggle. What is that man on? This is bloody ridiculous!"
Catherine had obviously taken the idea of Nick and Sara having a relationship in her stride, but her anger over the attitudes IA were displaying came as somewhat of a relief to Grissom. He preferred to stay away from the provinces of emotion, because he always got lost and because his own emotions often seemed inadequate or simply wrong. Catherine had enough for them all.
"What are you going to do, Griss?" asked Warrick, who was calmer, and harder to read than Catherine. No one really knew what he was thinking at any given time, especially about what had happened with Holly Gribbs all those years ago. His error of judgement had cost more than anyone else's, and Holly would remain with him forever.
Grissom didn't want Warrick's faith and trust right now, not when he so absurdly felt that he had failed them all. On the other hand, their leader he was and their leader he would remain. He wasn't about to let any of them down now. "I'm going to see the Sheriff," he said.
Sara awoke suddenly, feeling instantly trapped. Her dreams had been full of gunshots and dead bodies, multiplying within a small, windowless room, in which she stood, unable to escape.
She was still lying on top of Nick, her body wrapped tight in his arms, but that wasn't what she wanted. Looking at his face in the dim light she saw him peacefully sleeping, but she also seemed to see that look which had caused her to pull the trigger. Even the very familiarity of her room seemed gruesome as it reproached her for what she had done.
All her instincts were screaming at her to obliviate her memory or to get out in some way and as she didn't keep alcohol in the house any more there was only one thing she could do. Her gentle movements not betraying her frantic thoughts, Sara carefully tried to wriggle out of Nick's arms without waking him.
When he stirred, inevitably, she froze instantly, her head somewhere on his chest. "Sara?" he asked groggily. "Where're you going?" One of his hands found her head and began stroking her hair.
"Uh, bathroom," she lied, closing her eyes and hating herself.
"Okay." Nick ran his fingers through her hair and let her go, seemingly reluctantly. Sara got out of bed and pulled on her robe. As she opened the bedroom door she paused and turned to Nick as he spoke. He looked remarkably pale against her dark red bedlinen, the sheets halfway down his chest. "Will you come straight back, Sara?" he asked, and he sounded so much like a child and so unlike the man she knew that she nodded despite herself. "I will."
She walked softly across to the bathroom and braced herself against the sink to inspect herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and the light make-up she'd been wearing was smudged. She was still wearing the necklace she'd put on for work, but with a sudden movement she undid it and dropped it on the counter.
Sara searched her face, looking for the woman who had killed a man the previous night. All she saw was a women who'd killed because she'd felt she had to, who'd killed for the sake of the man she loved. It wasn't what she'd wanted to see. She splashed water on her face and dried it, flushed the toilet, and went back to her bedroom. Nick had rolled over onto his side, and as she went to climb back into bed he stretched out his arms towards her. She let him pull her tight against his body, although that feeling of claustrophobia came reappeared, overwhelming in intensity. It was an odd feeling to have Nick need her comfort, and an awful feeling to know that now he needed more than she could willingly give. Loathing both her sense of guilt and her need to escape, she forced herself to remember all that Nick had done for her, and rested her forehead against his, feeling his breath against her face. "I love you, Nicky," she murmured, partly because she knew that that was what he needed to hear and partly to assuage her own guilt. She heard her voice say the words and knew she meant them as much as she ever had, or more, but it didn't bring her comfort. Nick smiled, and, if it were possible, increased his grip on her.
When Nick closed his eyes Sara did so too, relieved at the tiny escape. She was immediately attacked by the sight of that bullet sinking into soft flesh, and let out a whimper she was barely aware of. She opened her eyes again, and lay there, listening to Nick's breathing and trying to get up the strength to wait it out. She knew that if Nick's embraces could reach her heart, things would be a lot easier.
TBC...