Chapter 2: Chips Ahoy!

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The next day, Buffy headed over to his crypt. It was a good excuse for putting off dealing with her money problems.

Deciding that kicking the door in was probably not the way to go today, she knocked. When no one answered, she cautiously peered in.

"Spike?"

Still no answer. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Spi-" She cut off as she saw him. He was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by bottles; he'd obviously drunken himself unconscious.

As Buffy came closer, she saw that his hands were all bloody, as if he'd been beating on the wall in frustration.

She winced. His hands looked rather nasty.

After trying - and failing - to wake him, Buffy got out his first aid kit and tended to his hands.

It's only fair I do this, she rationalized. After all, Spike did the same for me when I came back...

He'd been so thoughtful and caring and wonderful and not overwhelming that first night. He'd understood why her hands were all bloody, since he'd gone through the whole terrifying digging-yourself-out-of-a-grave thing himself.

Buffy stirred from her thoughts when she realized that he was coming around.

"Spike?" she said softly.

His eyes opened a crack. "Buffy... guess I get a good dream for once..."

She smiled. He'd hate it if she ever referred to him as 'cute,' but at times like these, he really was.

"You're not dreaming, Spike. You're just hungover."

He took a minute to process this, while slowly sitting up with Buffy's help.

"Not a dream?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Huh," he croaked as he unsteadily rose to his feet. Clutching at his forehead, he muttered, "Oww, headache... nope, definitely not a dream."

He managed to make it over to his armchair before falling into it.

Buffy followed him. After giving him a minute to recover, she pulled over another chair and asked him, "Can we talk about last night?"

Spike frowned at her, a bit confused. Realization slowly dawned on him. As he remembered, he suddenly shut off from her as he assumed his indifferent face.

"Yeah, what of it?"

Buffy frowned, annoyed that Spike had closed off to her like this. He only did that when something was really important to him - and he really didn't want to talk about it.

Giving him a look, Buffy said, "You know perfectly well what I mean, Spike. Drop the act."

He glanced away as he talked, unable to look at her. "You smelled like.... him."

The last word was so enlaced with bitter hatred and anger that Buffy was a bit taken aback. He might have a lot of enemies, but there weren't many that Spike hated like that. Comprehension came a moment later. "You mean-"

"Yeah."

They sat there silently for a moment. Finally Spike heaved himself up out of his chair, and went over to pour himself a drink.

Buffy wasn't quite sure what to do, since apologizing was out of the question - after all, this was Spike. "You gonna go all ballistic again if I mention him?"

Spike knocked back the shot as he considered her question.

After having another shot, he finally decided, "Nah," and wandered back to the armchair.

Buffy cleared her throat nervously. "He- he found out I was... back. So I went to go see him."

Spike raised an eyebrow.

Taking that as signal to continue, she said, "Yeah. It was all... ya know, angsty and intense and everything..."

"And you're feelin' the need to share this with me because...?"

Buffy sighed. She really didn't want to say it, but... "Because you're the only one who has any idea about what's really going on."

"You mean, I'm the only one who knows that your friends ripped you out of heaven and now you're in hell."

"Well..." Buffy hesitated. Her first instinct was to protest and defend her friends, but... "yeah, that kinda sums it up."

"Are you really never gonna tell 'em? What they did to you, where you were?"

She shook her head. "No, they'd feel guilty... it wouldn't be fair."

"Wouldn't be fair!" Spike leapt up out of his chair, pacing. "Not fair?! Buffy, look at what they did to you!"

"It's not like they meant to tear me out of heaven!"

"What's it matter what they meant to do? It's what they did do!"

"That's not the way it works," Buffy stated, more calmly.

Spike sank back into his armchair and leaned forward, closer to Buffy. Looking at her intensely, he asked, "So intent is all that matters? Not action?"

"That's not what I said!" Buffy responded, frustrated.

"But it's what you meant. Or did you mean that's the way it works for humans, but not for the rest of us."

"I - I don't- Damn it, Spike! I didn't come here to get all philosophical!"

"No," he sneered, "You came 'cause you wanted someone to foist all your woes onto. Not a friend, just a thing to talk to, talk AT, that's it, isn't it, Buffy?"

"Wh-what?"

He sighed, tired and still hungover. "Know what? I can't do this right now. I've tried so hard to be... whatever it is you've needed, and usually I'd do anything for you, but right now I want you to leave."

She rose as she said indignantly, "What? No! I'm not going to go, we're going to talk!"

"Please," Spike repeated quietly, but forcefully, as he moved across the room and stood with his back to Buffy.

"Oh no, you got rid of me last night, buddy, but not today!"

She stalked over to where he was standing and pulled on his arm, trying to get him to turn around and face her. He didn't budge.

"Spike!" she yelled, exasperated. Finally she tugged on him hard enough that he spun around and fell backward.

"Bitch!" he yelled as he dropped onto the hard stone floor.

As he stood, Buffy slapped him, hard. Too angry to think about his actions, Spike punched her right back.

Buffy drew back her arm in preparation to punch Spike, then lowered her arm. "How did you do that?"

"What?!" he shouted, confused, angry, and upset.

"The chip..."

Spike's eyes widened as she realized what she meant. "Bloody hell..."

There was another long pause as both tried to figure out what his lack of pain meant, forgetting what they'd been fighting about in the first place. This took precedence.

Buffy broke the silence, asking gravely, "How long has it been out? Or not working?"

"Wha- Buffy, that was as much a surprise to me as it was to you!"

Buffy realized that there had indeed been real shock on his face. Considering what a bad a liar he was, he was probably telling the truth. "So maybe it hasn't been working for a while and you just haven't noticed?"

Spike considered this. "I don't think so.. it was workin' a few nights ago. Damn thing went off when I accidentally shoved the Whelp."

In a very small voice, Buffy said, "So it's me then?"

Spike cocked his head at her. "What's you, pet?"

"The chip not going off when you hit me!"

Spike had started to open his mouth to ask her what she meant when he figured it out. "Oh. You mean if it still works on humans, but doesn't work on you..."

"Then I'm not human. Willow must have screwed up... and I came back wrong," Buffy finished bitterly. She slumped down onto her chair, her face in her hands, trying desperately not to cry. 'I came back wrong, came back wrong...' the refrain pounded through her brain.

Spike debated with himself for a minute. This was his chance to convince her that she was no better than he was, that she belonged in the dark with him. But... he knew that wasn't the truth. And the Buffy he knew and loved would never be happy in the dark.

Besides that, he could tell that she was human, and figured someone would figure it out eventually and tell her; better sooner than later.

Kneeling beside her chair, Spike tentatively placed a soothing hand on her back. She jerked automatically, but allowed him to try and settle her down, rubbing her back comfortingly.

When he figured she was calm enough to listen, he removed his hand from her back, placing it gently on her chin and raising her head. Buffy looked up at him, eyes full of unshed tears.

He tenderly took her face in his hands, ensuring that she was paying attention. "Buffy, listen to me. You're human, ok? I don't know what's up with the chip, but I know that you're human."

"How?" she whispered, begging for reassurance.

Spike gave her a gentle smile. "Hey, luv, vampire here. Humans are our natural prey, remember? We know that kind of thing."

Buffy nodded slowly. He would know... but then... "So maybe your chip did suddenly stop working."

Spike shrugged. "Guess it's possible."

Buffy buried her face in her hands again. 'I can't do this, not again. It's too much...' After another moment of silence, she commanded, "Get out."

Taken aback by the apparent non-sequitar, Spike could only splutter, "What?!"

She raised her tear streaked face to look at him. "Get out of town. Go anywhere... well, not LA... but anywhere else. Just leave. Tonight."

Spike sat back, dumbfounded. 'What the bloody hell is she goin' on about, tryin' to make me leave?... and does she think I'm gonna leave her so easily, like the others?'

"Buffy, I'm not gonna leave you like those other stupid gits, don't even try," he floundered, completely bewildered as to what was going on.

"Please!" she begged.

Spike was shocked, and still very confused. "I don't get it! Why do you want me to leave, all of a sudden?"

"Because I can't do it again!"

Spike tried to remain patient, even as his frustration mounted. "Do what?!"

"Kill someone I... care about," she finished quietly.

Spike's heart leapt as he realized she was admitting to caring about him. Then it sank back down as he figured out that she was thinking about killing him. 'Thinks I'm gonna go all Angelus on her.'

"You're not gonna hafta kill me, luv."

She started to protest, but Spike stopped her, gently placing a finger on her lips. "First off, we're not sure that the chip isn't working. It could just be... a fluke or something. Even if the chip isn't working, I wouldn't feed! Not now, not after everything..."

She shook her head violently. "Last time I waited, Jenny Calendar - along with who knows how many others! - died. I can't - I won't let that happen again!"

Spike sat back and thought about it. 'You bleedin' git, Peaches, messin' my life up even when you're not here!'

"Luv, look... if the chip really isn't working, and if you can't trust me... then..."

"Then what?" she hopelessly implored him.

Exasperated, Spike ran his hands through his hair as he paced. "Then we'll figure out something! Maybe Red and Glinda could cast some kinda spell which wouldn't let me hurt humans..."

Seeing Buffy's skeptical look - and realizing that if such a spell did exist, they would have probably used it before now- Spike tried to think up other ways out of this.

He suddenly spun around to face Buffy. "We'll get the chip repaired!"

She stared at him, dumbstruck. "What?!"

"We'll get it repaired, fixed. I know th' Initiative isn't still around, but we could find out who would know how to fix it. Red could do a little of her magic with her computer, or someone could ask Captain Cardboard-"

Buffy held up her hand, getting him to stop. "Hold on a second, you're saying that if the chip isn't working, you'd be willing to get it fixed??"

Spike looked at her. "Well, yeah," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I thought you hated having the chip."

"Of course I do." He sighed, realizing that - once again - she just didn't get it. "Luv, haven't you realized yet that I'd do anything, and I mean anything, to be able to stay here, be with you and the Nibblet? If that means that I hafta get the chip repaired then that's what I'll do."

"I see... So, first we should find out if the chip is still really working. If it is, great, if not... um... I guess I'll hafta keep an eye on you till it gets fixed."

Deciding to try one last time, Spike stepped closer to her, earnestly reminding her, "I'm not him, pet. I'm not gonna hurt anyone. I understand that you have trouble believing me, but..."

Buffy looked at him, saw how serious he was. She wanted so badly to believe him but... "I can't, Spike. I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk again."

He stepped back, resigned, nodding that he understood.

Taking a deep breath, Spike said, "Well, then. Off we go, to your place. I'll take the sewers, you can-"

"I'm coming with you," Buffy stated, making clear there was no room for argument.

Spike didn't even bother to try to reason with her, just nodded his head, indicating for her to follow him.

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A/N: Please review! It keeps me writing.