Disclaimer: Not mine. Yeah.

Nick had gone back home. Sara was at Kim Bolton's for her second counselling session, and Nick had siezed his hour of freedom to go home and pick up some clean clothes. Most of his clothes were at Sara's anyway, and this was more of an excuse to go home than anything else.

Every time he went home it seemed that his place was more impersonal, more sterile than ever before. He often ended up leaving with a few more things to take to Sara's - books, CDs, photos, clothes. Her apartment was becoming an amalgam of both their things and both their lives, but sometimes coming home was a kind of freedom.

The red light on his answerphone was flashing. Sighing, Nick went over and pushed the 'play' button. "Nick, it's Mom. What's this about a CSI in Las Vegas shooting a man? I hope you're all right, dear." "Nick, it's Lauren. Hope you're not mixed up in this shooting thing. Call me. Bye!"

Nick deleted the messages. His mother and one of his older sisters. He'd talk to them later - he wasn't in the mood for rehashing the shooting yet again. And then he'd have to tell them about Sara, and that was just too complicated. Besides, Mom would probably start planning the wedding as soon as Nick told her he was practically living with some girl. And Lauren - well, Lauren and the rest of his sisters still behaved like children whenever Nick got a new girlfriend. It wasn't often that he did, but the memory of the last time was enough to make him shudder. Well, at least Mom and Lauren had provided a distraction, however brief. Those hadn't exactly been forthcoming recently.

Nick's bedroom was now almost totally devoid of personal mementoes. The family photos and other things that had littered the room were at Sara's. They'd never discussed the fact that Nick's possessions were accumulating at Sara's; maybe that would have meant too much. Neither of them were good at committment. It was too big a scary issue, but maybe one they needed to face, considering all that had happened lately.

He sat down on his bed, trying to remember the last time he'd slept here alone. It had been a long eighteen months. Good, but very long in the secrecy, in the sneaking about, in what had involved almost outright lies at times. Nick hated dishonesty, and he knew Sara did too, but at first circumstances had seemed to demand it, and with time the secrecy had become habitual. It had seemed easier to keep their relationship a secret than to disclose it to the others and then to have to explain it all.

A photo of Sara still lay in the top drawer of Nick's bedside table. He pulled it out and inspected it. It was an old one, that Sara probably didn't know he had. Nick had taken it at a lab Christmas party a few years ago, when he had known Sara to be half in love with Grissom and had fancied himself over his original attraction to her. How much time they'd wasted, moping over other people.

Nick lay down, thinking about Sara. He loved her - sometimes he thought he'd always loved her. Yet she was complicated and confusing and so very Sara like. The early days of their relationship had been heady and passionate and it had been a few months before Nick realised just how much depth there was to Sara. He loved her more for it, but sometimes he felt he was walking a tightrope in his attempts to keep her happy, to stop her from slipping into the depths of despair. They both carried pain in their lives, but where Nick had done his best to deal with it Sara held jealously to it, seemingly unable to let it go. Maybe Kim would be able to help... she'd helped him. Sara's pain... Nick winced, involuntarily. It was hard to watch someone he loved go through that, and in a way he was selfishly glad she hadn't told him what had really happened to her until last night.

His house was so empty. He'd never noticed it before. He was all too used to the sound of Sara's footsteps, her breathing, the low hum of music or her police scanner in the background. It was empty without the presence of Sara, but it still carried the spectre of Nigel Crane. Closing his eyes, Nick remembered Nigel, remembered all he had done, all that he had caused him. Maybe it was time for committment with Sara, time to talk about where they were and where they were going. No doubt his mother's wedding plans would be looking too far ahead, but... he needed to know, and doubtless Sara did too, that they were going to be committed to each other, no matter what the result of this IA investigation was... IA. Always, work came up as a block, a hindrance. But what David Elliott had said had been more hopeful than negative.

Nick lay on his bed, considering, dreaming, hoping. No matter what problems she had, no matter what baggage she was carrying, he couldn't be without Sara. She completed him - they completed each other. There was no future for them separately. They had to be together, and surely Sara felt the same way.

Grissom seemed to have lost all his enthusiasm for work. He'd barely slept, despite Catherine's attempts to relax him with conversation and pancakes. He wondered if Catherine knew how transparent her efforts usually were. He wasn't that stupid. Still, there was no being angry at Catherine - it was something he always found impossibly hard, and now his lack of energy stopped him from even trying. Having spent the day lying in bed, thinking about the IA investigation or Nick and Sara or both things at once his head was buzzing, and if he wasn't well used to the sensation he might have thought he was going crazy.

He'd had to take Greg off the Caroline Flynn case too, which hadn't helped, but he needed Greg to help Catherine with a double homicide. He was all but ready to get Warrick to close the case anyway. If it wasn't for the fact that they all seemed to need an answer just as much as Caroline's parents did, Caroline's file would probably be on his cold case board. They needed Nick back, and they needed Sara back, and they needed normality. Which, admittedly, wasn't particularly normal, but Grissom reveled in watching the always-professional mayhem that sometimes occurred amongst people working the night shift. The ability to work all night and sleep during the day brought with it other essential traits.

There was no excitement or even intellectual curiousity to be had in what he was working on now, which was finishing up another homicide case. This case had been fairly cut and dried right from the beginning and it was, frankly, boring. There were no distractions to be had, and Grissom felt he dearly needed one. Maybe when he'd closed this he'd review the Caroline Flynn case one last time with Warrick. Fresh eyes, and all that.

When his pager beeped, Grissom almost considered ignoring it, certain it was likely to be something else that he didn't want to hear. Sara and Nick both had their second appointments with Kim Bolton that evening, and he knew Kim was worried about Sara's emotional state. He was too, of course, but he wasn't sure he wanted a professional opinion about it. However, to ignore the page would have been unprofessional when IA was on all of their cases. What the point of the investigation actually was Grissom wasn't entirely sure. From what he'd got from David Elliott and from the Sheriff, it was almost as though they were investigating simply because they thought they had to. It was an excuse that didn't wash with Grissom; if he did things because he thought he had to Warrick, Catherine, and possibly Nick would all have lost their jobs long ago. Things weren't as black and white as IA seemed to want to think.

When he saw David Elliott's number, Grissom experienced the proverbial sinking heart feeling. Almost a little angry, he put his evidence away - slowly, carefully, doing everything by the book - and went back to his office. Elliott picked up on the first ring.

"Mr Grissom?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for getting back to me so promptly. My colleagues and I - "

Your minions, thought Grissom peevishly, and felt a little better.

" - have completed an investigation into your team."

Feeling he was expected to say something here, Grissom said, "That was fast."

"It was efficient. We have come to the conclusion that, while some of your actions were not taken according to correct procedures, they appear to have been taken for the good of your team and of the lab as a whole."

"Oh," said Grissom blankly.

"We'll be taking no further action at the moment, but we will have to place a summary of the investigation and our findings into your personal file. The IA department will be keeping a closer watch over your team in future, Mr Grissom."

The price of IA always hovering over them, waiting for a single slip-up, was a much better result than Grissom had been expecting. Relieved, he said, "I think your findings are fair."

"I hope you realise, Mr Grissom, the extent to which it is important that law enforcement maintains its integrity."

"Of course," said Grissom, thankful that Elliott knew nothing of Catherine Willows and the $250,000 cheque. "What about Nick and Sara?"

"As I said earlier, Ms Bolton and I are prepared to allowed Mr Stokes back into the field from Monday's shift. Of course Ms Bolton will want to keep seeing him for several weeks as he readjusts. We've cleared Ms Sidle of any wrongdoing in the shooting of Raymond Ortega, but we're still not prepared to allow her back into the field until she's cleared by Ms Bolton."

Grissom nodded to himself. This was really no different to what he'd heard last time he'd spoken to Elliott, but he'd foolishly allowed himself to get his hopes up about Sara. He missed he more than he liked to admit, which was even more stupid considering all he knew of her relationship with Nick. "We can certainly use her in the lab when she's cleared for lab work."

"I haven't spoken with Ms Sidle yet, but Mr Stokes seemed to think it was very important that she have something to do."

"It is." Probably even lab work would be too boring for Sara; she called being stuck in the lab being grounded. It would be good to have her around anyway - and good to know she was safe. Grissom wanted to see her, but he hadn't had the guts to visit as Catherine had. In the lab, he would be able to observe her covertly and ascertain things for himself. "About Sara and Nick - " he said, and stopped. He'd been tempted, wildly, just for a moment, to tell Elliott that the shooting of Raymond Ortega had opened his eyes to the dangers of romantic workplace relationships and that maybe IA intervention... Then he'd realised how childish that was, and how much it would wreck Sara. If she really cared about Nick, Grissom wouldn't be the one to cause her to have to choose between her career and her partner. He still loved her, and breaking her and Nick up would do nothing to advance his cause. He'd lost Sara a long time ago.

David Elliott didn't seem to have noticed the pause. "Well, that's certainly an issue. We're prepared to consider the improper conduct charge an aberration. I think it's clear that their work hasn't been unaffected, and while we had to investigate the possible effect of their relationship on the shooting, it was obviously a very minor element of what happened in that warehouse. We're prepared to let it slide for now, but obviously we'll be monitoring their behaviour carefully."

"Of course," said Grissom, and swallowed.

TBC...