Falling Petals

Rose petals float softly in the winds, her skirt billowed against her fair legs. Her face partly-covered by a veil, she walked down the aisle. Many smiled upon her, some cried for her happiness. But many did not know that - she was crying.

Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to break her confidence and shatter her dreams, just before her wedding day? Guilt was building in her heart as she cried, his soft voice echoed in her mind. I love you...

He had never told me, he never showed signs that he did... all his love problems, I was there for him, but never did i think that... I could love him... Damn you, Harold Potter... I think i love you...

Of all the blind, I could have been one of them. Cho, Ginny, they were never the ones for me. Why did i have to finally realise now, of all the days, all those years i have been beside her... Now it is too late.

I stand next to the alter as best man, trying my best to avoid her eye. Ron's face lit with glee as Hermione treaded softly, locked arms with her father. I could tell that no one, not even Ron, noticed that... she was crying. I felt her tears behind that snow-white veil, each tear pierced my heart. It's my fault she's crying...my fault... I felt her confusion, her pain. And for a moment i faltered. Could she love me? Shaking my head, I rid myself of the fantasy. Ron nervously clutched my fist. I assured him it was alright...for him.

Ron smiled nervously at me, his eyes filled with affection. The guilt built up again. I had forsaken his love for me, for a moment i actually thought that i could love another man... could I?

I stood at the alter with my almost-to-be-husband. My hand was trembling. Ron, sensing my fear, clutched tighter. I knew that my mascara was smudged, I knew that I probably looked like a panda... But the tears could not stop flowing. The priest asked if anyone objected to our marriage, I heard mere silence.

With a trembling voice, I whispered 'I do' and felt cold metal pushed up my fourth finger. Ron lifted my veil. He laughed softly at my tears and finally, our soft lips met. We were husband and wife. His face lit with a large grin. Weakly, my thin lips curved into a smile. My eyes glance over to where Harry had stood... but he had gone.

I left before the kiss... I could not bear to see them kiss. I had never felt her lips on mine, and i guess i never will. Ron will worry, Hermione will depress... but i must leave. I had brought them together, it was not for me to bring them apart.

My hands shoved into my pocket, I walked out of the garden, away from the falling petals. I had to get away from all this... from her... It was for the better...

The wedding is over, I am now Hermione Weasley Granger. I was suppose to be happy, but i can't bring myself to it. Ron notices, and he draws near.

He kisses my neck passionately, I try my best to return it. Soon i found myself on the bed. I did not know if Ron knows, but my kisses have been empty, my words have been dry. All of it, it had something missing - Love.

I could not bring myself to confess that terrible truth. I was not even assured it was possible. Was it possible to forget one man, because of another I THINK I love?! My love was drain on him, on the one who ran from his own terrible secret. The other who loves me. I needed to find him. I knew where to find him.

The snow fell softly. It reminded me alot of the petals. The petals of my love's day of joy, my own day of mouring. I had forever lost her, now keeping myself here, in Grimmauld Place, away from the outside world. I have been such a fool, such a shameful fool. I do not deserve to once again see the light of day. Call it insanity, if you must. I have become 'insane'.

Insanity is the result of a great loss, or a great need, which ever hits the heart with the greatest force. My heart is weak, from fighting the terrible truth. I loved her. And most importantly - she knows.

I hear a knock. I chose to ignore it. I neede to be alone, to think. I ignored it - until I heard her voice.

"Harry?" I yelled. "Harry, i know you're in there." I knocked furiously, the cold nipping me continuously. Suddenly the door opened and gratefully, I stepped inside.

"What are you doing here?!" He asked. I took off my winter clothing and hung them up.

"Well, I figured that you would come here to think it out, because of the..."I paused for a moment, then continued when i found the words. "...for the memories." Harry seemed grateful for not mentioning Sirius, his other great loss. He had turned away from the world then too, escaping to the quiet boundaries of this empty house, which Harry had spent day listening to Sirius and his mother quarrel. His mother was now taken off with the right spell, and kept in storage. And the house once again returned to its rightful silence.

"There are a few things I need to tell you." I said. I sat down on the couch. It gave out a loud creak. Harry sat next to me, intently listening.

"I'm listening." Harry said.

"Well... first..." I felt my hand go up and land onto Harry's cheeks with a loud slap. All my anger seemed to drain through this one slap, this one movement of pain. I heard him yelp, and at once my hand fell next to my lap.

"I hope i didn't hurt you too much." I whispered. My lips couldn't utter the word 'sorry'. I moved my hand to stroke the wound, but Harry pushed my hand down.

"Its ok. I deserved it." he whispered. I felt the sharp pain in his voice.

"Ok."I continued. " Every since you told me that you loved me, I could not stop thinking of you."

Harry's face lit with eager. He opened his mouth to speak, but i silenced him with a movement of my hand.

"But, I can't love you. I love Ron, and i have been blessed to have a man like him. For days i have been ignoring him, but i can't do that any longer, or i may lose him. I have to try and forget you, Harry."

"Why are you telling me this?"he questioned.

"Because i care about you. I don't understand why I've been thinking of you, why I've been ignoring Ron for you, but its not fair. I can't leave him! I just got married for Heavens sake!"

There was an akward silence. And suddenly, Harry asked the question. the words came quiet and gently, but each word hit me with a great impact.

"But do you love me?"

I did not know why I asked. It wouldn't help, but a feeling inside urged me to ask, I needed to know...I waited for her answer, but her face was hung with confusion, as if looking for the words.

"Do you love me?" I asked once more.

Hermione leaned forward and softly, kissed my lips. It was not a passionate kiss, nor a loving kiss, it was a peck on the lips, but it was enough.

"I don't know, Harry."

Hermione got up and walked to the door. Putting on her thick winter clothing, she whispered goodbye, but the words echoed through the house. She kissed me once more on the forehead, and stepped of to the cold.

As I closed the door with much strength, I smiled to myself. I knew I need not hide anymore. I knew the truth. I could never stop loving her, it was impossible. I understood Hermione more than anyone ever could, and i knew what she said. It was not the time. I drapped on my winter clothing and stepped out to the snowstorm, once again leaving my place of solitary, listening to the words in my head which repeated slowly. It was not the time.

It was not the time.

A.N : Hope this is better. I found no use writing extra chapters, so i squeezed some stuff into one Chapter. If i'm in the mood, i might add another. But its best it stays like this. Tell me what you think!