THE TEKKEN LADIES

(A/N: I wrote this because I'm insane. If you haven't figured that out already...)

[THE BEGINNING]

Hwoarang was tired of the single life. He needed a woman. No, the Blood Talon didn't want a wife... he wanted a girlfriend. He decided to take the Tekken women out on dates to see which girl was right for him.

DATE ATTEMPT #1- Nina

Hwoarang sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. He had been waiting for Nina for an hour already and there were no signs that she would be showing up anytime soon.

"Hey... um... what's your name again?" Nina asked. She strode into the restaurant wearing her usual assassin clothes.

"Hwoarang. I..." Hwoarang started.

"Sorry I'm late. My bitch sister stole and ruined my dress. Then my son... uh... what's his face was whining so I slapped him. Then Paul came over to my house drunk and puked on my floor so I had to do my f, f3 attack on him. Then my slutty sister stole my gun. I hate that tramp so much! She's just angry that mom and dad loved me more. That wench even had the nerve to steal my boyfriend. I HATE HER! And then she... um... ah... I can't remember! Damn this short term memory loss..." Nina sat down and looked over the menu, completely forgetting about Hwoarang.

"Major hate towards her sister, very violent, psychotic, and dangerous, also very bad memory. But she is hot." Hwoarang thought.

"So what do you want to order?" Hwoarang asked. Nina looked up startled.

"Who are you?" She asked angrily. Hwoarang looked confused.

"What...?"

"Don't play with me asshole! Who the fuck are you?" Nina pulled out her gun and everyone in the restaurant hid under their tables. Nina climbed on a table and randomly started shooting bullets.

"DIE BITCHES!" Nina screamed manically. Before a stray bullet could hit him, Hwoarang ran out the door.

"Holy shit." Hwoarang crossed Nina's name off his list.

DATE ATTEMPT #2- Anna

"Hi sexy!" Anna twirled around showing off her revealing white dress. Hwoarang stared wide-eyed at her.

"Wow." Hwoarang managed.

"Thanks for asking me out. I was so bored at home with my whore sister and bastard nephew."

"Oh... I see. Take a seat." Hwoarang pointed to a chair. Anna pulled out her compact, fixed her make-up and sat down on Hwoarang's lap.

"How about we skip dinner and get straight to the fun." Anna said, she draped her arms over Hwoarang's shoulders and licked her lips invitingly. Hwoarang's eyebrows shot up and he started to blush.

"Damn." Hwoarang placed his hands on Anna's hips.

"You know what. I hate my sister so much. Mom and dad loved her more than me and she always rubbed that in my face. She gets all the best men and I get her leftovers! Aren't I the prettier sister? Don't I deserve some decent men? Nina says my beauty isn't natural. Ok, I admit it, I wear a teensy bit of make-up, but I'm still prettier! Right?" Anna cried, tears streaming down her face. She got up off of Hwoarang's lap and ran sobbing into the ladies' room.

"I was so sure I was gonna screw her!" Hwoarang sighed and walked out of the restaurant, ignoring the people looking at him oddly.

DATE ATTEMPT #3- Ling Xiaoyu

"This is soo fun! I'm soo glad that I got you to take me to the amusement park instead of some lame restaurant!" Xiaoyu gushed.

"Yeah. Great." Hwoarang said sarcastically. Xiaoyu didn't seem to notice the sarcasm.

"Now we can have fun! Let's go on that ride. Come on Hwoarang! Come on!" Xiaoyu grabbed Hwoarang's arm and pulled him towards the giant Ferris wheel. After they got on the Ferris wheel, Xiaoyu wouldn't stop squirming and talking.

"Do you ever shut up?" Hwoarang said irritated. Xiaoyu smiled and fidgeted some more.

"Your soo much fun Hwoarang! I'm having lotsa fun! This is great! Can you buy me some cotton candy after we get down? Can you get me a teddy bear? I think we are gonna get married. You're the only boy that talks to me. All the others run away. I wonder why. Oh well..." Xiaoyu bounced around in her seat happily.

"Hold on. Who said anything about marriage? This is only a date. And plus you're a minor! I don't want to go to jail!" Hwoarang inched away from Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu inched closer.

"Don't you like my dress Hwoarang? If you don't like it I'm going to cry!" Xiaoyu pointed to her dress.

"Yeah, very nice. Very bright and lots of yellow." Hwoarang banged his head against the metal bars surrounding the Ferris wheel seat.

"Hey! I just remembered! I brought my make-up kit! LET'S PLAY MAKEOVER!" Xiaoyu cheerfully pulled out her make-up kit.

"NOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Hwoarang screamed and tried to jump out of the Ferris wheel seat. Xiaoyu smiled and held him down.

"Hold still! We wouldn't want to mess up the makeover!" Xiaoyu pulled out her blush and eyeliner.

"HELP!"

Ten minutes later the Ferris wheel ride ended. Hwoarang looked like a clown/hooker. He angrily walked around the amusement park with Xiaoyu vigorously jumping up and down.

"Lets go on more rides!" Xiaoyu said enthusiastically. Hwoarang shook his head.

"Can't you stand still? No! No more rides! You're so fucking annoying!" Hwoarang yelled. Xiaoyu's eyes started to water and her lower lip started to tremble.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE! I HATE YOU! I'M NOT HAVING ANY FUN!" Xiaoyu shrieked in Hwoarang's ear. By now, everyone started to stare at the two of them.

"Stop crying! SHH! Sorry! I didn't mean it! SHHH! Be quiet!" Hwoarang tried to calm Xiaoyu down. Xiaoyu started to scream uncontrollably. Hwoarang placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to stop her from screaming.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Xiaoyu screeched. She kicked Hwoarang in the shin and bit his arm.

"You BITCH!" Hwoarang yelled, cradling his injured arm.

"WAAAHH! YOU CALLED ME A BAD WORD!" Xiaoyu pulled Hwoarang's hair and punched him in the nose.

"Ah fuck!" Hwoarang wiped the blood from his nose and pushed Xiaoyu to the ground. Xiaoyu kicked and punched the ground, still screaming.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She screamed, throwing sand in Hwoarang's eyes.

"STUPID KID!" Hwoarang tried to wipe the sand from his eyes. Suddenly he had an idea. He ran to a concession stand and bought a candy apple. Upon seeing the apple, Xiaoyu stopped crying and held out her hands.

"Gimme!" Hwoarang handed her the candy apple. "Wanna hear me sing a song?" Xiaoyu said out of nowhere. Hwoarang looked terrified of her.

"Ok." He said slowly, keeping his eyes on her the whole time. Xiaoyu finished her candy in record time.

"Hey Hwoarang, your so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! HEY HWOARANG!" Xiaoyu sang like a cheerleader. Hwoarang slowly backed away from her.

"Thanks...that was a... uh... nice song."

"I made the song for you. It was supposed to be 'Mickey your so fine' but I changed it." Xiaoyu did a cartwheel.

"Ook. What do you want to do now demon-child? I mean... Xiaoyu...?" Hwoarang asked. His nose stopped bleeding but his eyes still stung from the sand. His arm had a clear bite mark on it and the ringing in his ears died down a bit.

"GIVE ME A KISS!" Xiaoyu squealed. Hwoarang clenched his teeth and then forced a smile. He quickly kissed Xiaoyu's cheek.

"This is as far as we go. Any farther and I can be arrested."

"What?" Xiaoyu said confused.

"Let's do something else now. Like go see an exorcist...?" Hwoarang whispered the last part. Xiaoyu twirled the pigtails in her hair around.

"I'm tired now Hwoarang. Take me home." Hwoarang was jumping for joy. He hailed a taxi and shoved Xiaoyu in.

"Goodbye! Wreak havoc on some other poor unsuspecting person!" Hwoarang said, waving to Xiaoyu.

"What a crazy freak kid! That's why you don't drink alcohol when you're pregnant and have a lunatic child like Xiaoyu!" Hwoarang thought, walking home.

(A/N: Review to find out what happens next. If I don't get reviews I'm not continuing! I swear...)

(Another A/N: I'm going to write a sequel to this story called The Tekken Men. I don't know why I'm telling you this... oh well...REVIEW)