Re: Discontinuation

I know a number of you are upset that I discontinued the original fic, and I'm sorry – I really am. However, I have made up my mind, and I will carry out my decision.

Let me explain myself. I have read and re-read, and I simply don't see what you see in it. (No, I'm not being depressed.)

I love you all. And I thank you, especially the readers who have stuck with me from the start till the end, waiting patiently for me to update, understanding when I had to leave for my exams, staying and faithfully reviewing every chapter.

I have kept you waiting for a year, then when I do return, I tell you I'm discontinuing and rewriting it. I'm sorry. I probably lost many readers because of this, and if any of you hate me for this, I'm sorry and you are completely justified.

But even if you turn against me, even if it hurts, even if you fill my inbox with emails asking me to continue the fic (not that any of you have done so yet), I will not resume writing. How can I, when I get no satisfaction out of writing it? When I'd first started this fic, I had no inkling of how it was going to turn out. I made it up as I went along, improvising with fluff when I didn't know how to continue. The summary? It's just a shallow imitation of the greats'. There's no linkage – I simply threw in whatever I thought of when I felt like it. (The Boundaries popped out of nowhere.) And when I have no idea how to go on, I just write whole chapters of fluff and sugar. Read, look, how many chapters consist entirely of fluff? The earlier chapters were my first pathetic attempts at a plot. And the later chapters when my fics suddenly became popular? All fluff.

Don't mistake me. I have nothing against fluff. In fact, I love reading S and S fluff. Sakura and Syaoran are a very sweet and cute couple. However, you read for the fluff, and that isn't what I want. It is not that I don't get enough reviews (frankly speaking, I am amazed I made it to 200, let alone 300), or that I'm seeking attention. Some people think the number of reviews an author gets measures how successful he/she is. I don't agree. I may have succeeded in writing fluff, but in terms of a good writer, I am not much of one.

In each chapter, I have struggled to please the readers, creating various scenarios where S and S are forced to be together and Syaoran acts like a deprived and hormone-driven teenager who cannot control his actions. I repeat: that isn't what I want. I want a fic I can show people and not have them think, "Oh, this is the writings of a crazed fan who has taken too much sugar". I want a fic my English teacher is able to read and not flinch and scurry away in the middle of it. I want a fic I can be proud of.

So I will try. I might not succeed, but I will keep on trying. Please give the rewrite a chance. That's all I ask.

And all those who have, thank you. It means a lot to me.

Winged Guardian