Chapter 4
Looking back my friendship with Whitney was never that strong, it was one sided I was always there for her, but she was never there for me at least not positively.
"Theresa, you can't wear that it makes you look terrible.", Whit tells me, it is our first day at Harmony High.
"Why not?", I ask, looking at myself in the mirror I don't see why Whitney says it looks terrible.
"Theresa, you're to short for the outfit and well a little fat.", Whitney tells me, Whitney had always been a bit taller and slender than I, but I wasn't all that short and I was definitively not fat.
"I think it looks great.", I tell her, pushing the brush through my shoulder length hair.
"There's everyone is going to talk? I mean…", Whitney began.
"Whit, do you want to wear this outfit?", I ask, I'm quite tired of this conversation and know exactly what it is she wants from me.
"Oh would you Theresa? I…thank you.", Whitney slips her shirt over her head and waits impatiently for me to giver her my black mesh sleeved shirt, she quickly pulls it over her head and smirks to herself.
"It fits me perfectly, wouldn't you say, Theresa?",, she asks admiring herself.
"Yeah, just perfect.", I reply, rolling my eyes.
I guess you're wondering just why I was willing to still befriends with her after that, at the time I thought nothing of it, Whitney had always been, self absorbed in away and her parents pampered her, I mean her mother was a respected doctor and her father coach at the high school she was very popular and got a lot of boyfriends, as for me I was the daughter of the Cranes' house keeper and my father was the town loser who abandoned his family, so I hung- out with as a way of attracting the guys but, most found Whitney more desirable and many of my boyfriends, left me for the lovely Whitney.
"Theresa…", Frank had began, Frank was my boy friend at the time, nothing really special, just someone who I had a crush on and he in return took a likening to me.
"Yes, Frank.", I reply giving him my sweetest smile.
"Whitney and I…", he begins.
"You want Whit, don't you?", I ask.
He nods. "Yeah, Theresa you're cool and all but, Whitney, damn she's so fine."
I nod, "I know, every guy thinks so."
"So we still cool.", Frank asks.
"Yeah.", I reply, and watch as he walks over to her and becomes chatty.
Now, I never blamed Whitney, I mean she couldn't help it that she was more popular, friendly, beautiful then me, but I do blame her for what she did to me, with Fox she knew I like him, yet she didn't care.
"So, you and Fox together?", she asked, walking over to me, I was surprised she hadn't talk to me at all since Rebecca was killed.
"No.", I sigh and look at the object of our conversation who is ordering a drinks for us at the counter.
"Really, I thought….Oh well, Theresa, me and Chad broke up. Turns out he is with Simone has been shacking up for the past two months, that explains why he has been so distant lately.", I watch Fox walk up behind us and watch a smirk form on his lips.
"Fox, hey.", Whitney turns to him flashing him her best smile and scooting over let him set beside her.
"Hey, Whit.", Fox replies, "Where's Chad?"
"Don't mention him to me.", she tells him, she is furious.
"What…", he begins,.
"Chad is hooking up with Simone.", I tell him and watch as he raps his arms around her.
"I'm sorry.", he tells her, I get beyond jealous I want to scream at him to get his hands off of her and at her to quit eating it up, I know she likes having his strong arms around her.
I get up and quickly excuse myself. "I'll be right back.", I tell them, quickly going to the bathroom, I need to cut, I need to feel.
I get in the restroom and sigh in relief no one is there, I take the razor from my purse and quickly rake it hard against my skin and sigh when it starts to bleed, I finally can feel, feel the pain tears don't help the only thing that helps is the feel of my flesh being tore, I look at the blood bright red, I feel the pain, soothing, healing. I look at awhile admiring the pain, then quickly I pull down my shirtsleeve and come back out and collect myself. I sigh then leave and go back to join them.
I watch from a far as Fox and Whitney chat, he's very close to her, I hear him say something to her and then there lips meet, it's like a knife going through my heart. Fox I want to cry, but I can't I rake my nails over the fresh cut wound, and the blood once again come, and the pain is three times worse It feels good, it calms me, I slowly approach the table my arm an aching my heart a pounding.
"Uh-hmm.", I clear my throat getting there attention and forcing them to break the kiss.
"Theresa.", Fox looks at me, he doesn't see my pain, see I learned along time ago how to hid it from him, I just simply smile and say something totally funny. "Sorry to interrupt, you kids."
He smiles, Whitney looks at me and bats her eyes. "I'll be going.", she tells me and reaches Fox her number.
"I'll call you.", she tells him.
I look at her and smile, "See you, Whit."
She doesn't look at me only walks off, she doesn't say much after that, only hello ever once in awhile.
Now, I guess your wondering were things go from here between Fox and I and he and Whit?
It raining, it's one of the few nights I have the nerve up to end it, I place the revolver to my head one pull of the trigger and I'll be gone, the nightmare will all be over, I sigh and then climb to the edge of the railing of the pier, the same place Rebecca had died. I see it as an omen, Gwen's Sara, my Ethan, Rebecca, now it is my turn now it will be tied, I place my hand over the trigger.
"Theresa?", I hear him calling, he's not to far away.
I quickly get down and put away the gun.
"Theresa…", Fox calls out running to me.
"Fox, what in the…It's 3 o' clock in the morning?", I ask.
"Same could be asked for you?", Fox asked. "Theresa, are you okay, I just got the weirdest feeling about you, are you okay?"
"I'm fine aren't I? No scratches, no bruises .", I reply, I look down and notice my sleeves are up, I quickly try to hide them, he see it and grabs my wrist, he examines them carefully then turns to me.
"This ain't good.", he tells himself.
"What ain't?", I ask, playing it cool.
"You're cutting. Theresa, you're a cutter aren't you?", Fox asks, he kisses my fresh cut and it burns, but the burn is comforting it ain't like all the other times, it is as if his kiss is healing.
I look at him and say not a thing, what good can it help, he knows.
"My God, Theresa, My God tell me how long have you been doing this?", Fox asks.
"Since his funeral.", I tell him and I swear I can see a tear in his eye for me.
He looks at me. "Why? Theresa, Why do you cut? I mean I've seen it before from the boys I went to Boarding School with, but I never could quit figure out why they did it."
"It helps.", I reply simply.
"Help? Theresa, what in the hell does that mean, helps?", he asks, he still has my wrist in his hand.
"Fox I don't feel and that is my way of getting my emotional pain out, I can't cry, I'm out of tears, I want to hurt Fox, I want to.", he puts his finger to my lips silencing me.
"What's in the purse?", he asks, noticing my death grip on it.
"Girl things.", I reply coolly.
"Well, let me see.", he tells me, I jerk it from his reach and he looks at me.
"Theresa, let me se it.", when I move again, he puts a gentle force against me and get it from me, I hold my breath my big secret is out.
"My God, Theresa, please tell me you weren't going to do that? Tell me that this is for protection, tell me…", Fox begins, I nod my head no.
"Fox, I was…I want to die.", I cry.
Fox looks at me and sighs. "Theresa, please don't…you can't leave me Resa, I need you. you can't leave me little one.", he tells me, he pulls me closer and then he takes the gun and slings it in the river. "Theresa, promise me you'll never do this again, tell me that you will never get a gun and plan on blowing that pretty little head of yours to bits, Theresa promise me."
"I can't.", I reply.
"Then you give me no other choice I'm having you committed.", he tells me.
"Okay, I promise, but Fox it's so hard, I want to join him, I want to be with my baby.", I tell him. "I miss him."
Fox looks at me, then he asks me something I'll never will forget. "Do you know what it would do to me if you die?", he asks, I look at him.
"You don't care, you just want to be my savior, but you know what, I know you don't care, you want her.", I huff.
"No, Theresa, I- I love you, okay I love you little one.", he tells me, he pulls me closer to him and our lips are inches apart. "If you die, then I die with you, do here me we die together.", he pulls out a knife, do you hear me.
I gulp, is he serious. "Are you…"
"I'm serious.", he looks at me and for the first time I want to live.
"No, I don't want you to die.", I look at him I want him so much.
"Good, beautiful.", he replies. "Let's get you home."
I nod. "No.", I reply, "I want to stay with you, I can't leave not now."
He nods, "I can't refuse you, you know that."
A/N: Okay, that's all I'm really like this story and how it's coming along, I can't wait for school to be over I can write lol