Disclaimer: Still not mine! And no, David Thwelis isn't mine... although I'm considering confiscating his sushi.
Interlude
In anticipation of part two, today we bring you a small Muggle Studies lesson with Professor Remus Lupin, explaining a bit about Jeff Foxworthy.
"Thank you." Remus, in his early twenties, steps forward. He puts on his reading glasses and glances at his notes.
"Jeff Foxworthy," he begins. "You know, I remember when Sirius got me that video, it was Christmas of our sixth year--"
"Remus, the lesson?"
Remus looks up. "Oh. Yes. Right. As I was saying... as you may know, Jeff Foxworthy is an American Muggle comedian, most well known for his stand-up bit called, 'You Might be a Redneck,' which highlights some of the more humorous characteristics and stereotypes about lower- and lower-middle-class white Americans, especially those living in the midwestern part of the country." Remus flips the page of his notes. "Some interesting facts about Mr. Foxworthy... he's been working in the comedy business for about 14 years, and his favorite food is spaghetti. Co-incidentally, David Thewlis's favorite food is sushi, and--"
"Remus!"
Remus clears his throat. "Oh. Um. Sorry." He pauses. "I shouldn't even know about David Thewlis, should I? Then again," he frowns slightly, "I shouldn't know about Jeff Foxworthy, either. I mean, it's only supposed to be 1979 or 1980, judging from my age. I'm confused. I think I'll go and take a hot shower to clear my head.."
Remus wanders off.
Well, wasn't that enlightening? Stay tuned for part two!
Note: I have no blooming idea what Jeff Foxworthy's favorite food is. But David Thewlis's is, in fact, sushi, as far as I've heard.
Next chapter: Mirrors, buttons, Wolfsbane potion, and Remus yelling. We all know how much we love that, right? Oh, come on, admit it.