I'm baaa-aaack . . .
I'm so happy! I got a HAIRCUT! Shoulder-length, red streaks, layered! It looks like a very stylish black balloon!
. . . er, I think that's a good thing . . .
*Now worried . . . *
RE-NOTE – Anyhow! I'm sorry to say that a lot of people misunderstood my last chapter note . . . *Blushes.* When I said give me ideas, a lot of you didn't read it properly, I think, and gave me ideas for this story. I said your ideas for your ideal mediator story, just as long as it had the Paul/Jesse swap. So, I'm a little disappointed, and worried if I set it out wrong. I thought it was understandable, but I dunno . . . maybe I'm losing my touch. Hell, maybe I had no touch to begin with! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!
So, long story short, if you could email me with the ideas you have for your IDEAL fanfic, that would be wicked. Sorry to be confusing . . .
Disclaimer: Some definitions come from www.urbandictionary.com.
**************************************************************************** ****************
Suze's POV
Getting back to sleep when you've just been woken up from a horrific nightmare packed with ghastly revelations if there's a ghost screaming in your ear, you know?
Because that was my deal.
That thin, hippy ghost was back. She was screeching so hard that my open windows were shaking freakishly. I stared at her in alarm.
'Hey,' I whispered, 'You're seriously making me consider posting office hours on my door.'
She, again, stopped screaming, and looked at my with watery eyes. You know how, in those Anime shows, how the character's eyes like, wobble when they cry? It SO happens. I am way serious. They kept flickering, but it could have been because she was shaking so hard.
'You didn't – didn't tell him,' she stuttered, biting her fingernails anxiously, trying to keep herself from crying again. 'He n-needs to know. He's h-hurting inside. It's k-killing h-him.'
'Dude,' I said with annoyance, rubbing my blurry eyes, 'I don't know who "he" is. I can't do –'
'Red,' she said desperately, bursting into tears again. 'You KNOW him! You d-did nothing to t-tell him! He b-blames himself! Please . . .' she whimpered.
It broke my heart. I swear to God. The state she was in, I literally felt compassion that I haven't ever for a ghost. It was weird.
'Okay,' I grumbled. 'But –'
Only she kind of dematerialized then.
God dammit! What is WITH her?!
Jesus . . . I wished Jesse was here . . .
~*~
I woke up at five am. I had barely gotten any sleep, and I was pretty damn pissed. I mean, PRETTY DAMN PISSED. In an effort to disguise the leaded bags under my eyes, I caked my face with foundation. I mean, I don't usually go overboard, but this was an emergency, people. Please. I looked like a bloody gorgon!
Well, okay, I still wasn't wearing half as much facial gunk as Kelly Prescott, but still.
It was a lot for me.
After Sleepy drove the four of us – himself, Doc, Dopey, and I – to the Mission, I met up with CeeCee.
'Hey,' I smiled, and touched her shoulder, but she pulled away.
'Simon? One word: ew,' she scoffed. I frowned, and looked at my hands.
Oh yeah. The poison oak thing . . .
'You didn't seem to notice yesterday,' I said sourly, hiding my scaly hands in my sweater.
'I was distraught,' she snapped. 'I wasn't thinking properly. Don't worry, I scrubbed myself hard.'
I shoved her playfully, and wiggled my puss-covered fingers in front of her eyes. She was disgusted.
'Yo, Suze,' Adam sidled up next to me. He had a weird look on his face, as if he was still pissed with me. Which, by rights, he probably was.
'Look Adam, I'm sorry about yesterday,' I said, trailing my hand through my hair and tossing my head slightly.
He shrugged, his hands casually in his pockets. 'No biggie.'
CeeCee frowned as she did her locker combination. 'Yesterday? What happened yesterday? Suze, you didn't –'
'No,' I said.
'Didn't what?' Adam wanted to know. CeeCee finally opened her locker, but was now staring at me accusingly.
'Nothing!' I snapped.
'Does it have something to do with –'
'Oh for God's sake, yes! You both know. Yay! Go chat about it amongst yourselves then, see if I care,' I snarled at him, slamming CeeCee's locker door. I was out of there like a shot. Me and my lumpy hands . . .
'Suze!'
I spun around, breathing hard through my teeth. Debbie Mancuso looked at me with disdain. 'You seen Kelly around?'
'No,' I snapped. 'Maybe she's up your –'
'Ouch,' she replied. 'Cool it, Simon. Just asking. She like, so hasn't been here since that dead body thing at her party? He dad's like, blaming her and everything. It was SO unfair. I think she's getting sick from it, you know?'
I tapped my foot impatiently at her.
'Okay, fine, go. Have some sympathy, Jeez,' she said, surprised at my attitude. I was surprised at it too. So Adam AND CeeCee knew. Not the end of the world, right? They wouldn't tell.
Well, at least I hoped . . .
~*~
I slid into my classroom just in tome before Miss Jaffa (Her name is Miss Jeffrey, but I learnt that like, NO ONE ever calls her that any more.) And then class she teaches?
Er, that would be Sex Ed.
I know, all together? EW.
Look, I have Jesse, but we are so not ready for that stuff yet. I mean, I'm sixteen. Yes, I'd like to someday, but it's a bit hard, him being in, oh where was it?
Uh, how about SPAIN.
Long distance orgasms, totally . . . okay, I realize that was seriously wrong. What can I say? Sex Ed brings out the worst in me. It's worst that I have it with Dopey and the gang. I mean, they so crack up whenever Miss Jaffa mentions the word "erect." I mean, how bloody immature, hey? Hell, even the word "big." I mean, come ON.
Ha . . . what Esmerelda De Silva said came swimming back into my mind . . . 'Jesse has a penis!' Little cutie. Emerelda, I mean. Jesse, well he's a big cutie.
I looked around, and noticed to my amusement that Kelly was sitting in class, looking extra sour. As in, millions of lemons sour. Daddy dearest had obviously made her go to school when she tried to chuck a sickie. But it was fair enough. These mere mortals were not accustomed to seeing dead people. Ha, and don't I wish I was like them . . .
Dopey screwed up a piece of paper and pelted it across the classroom. It ricocheted off of CeeCee's head. She didn't move, but I saw her hands clench around her pencil case. The jocks roared with laughter.
I pity Brad's mother . . . it must have been so tough on her in those years of his childhood . . . Hey, I wonder how she died, anyway?
'Come on guys, stop ditching stuff at the girls,' Miss Jaffa smiled as she walked in. The guys like her a lot. She has really white straight teeth, a sharp, yet attractive face, blond straight hair and wears these really cool clothes. She's like, really curvy and is, well, very endowed in the chest area, so yeah. She can get Dopey's attention any day.
Uh . . .
I think this class is just a series of "ew"s.
Oh well, at least CeeCee and Adam were in the class as well. Save my sanity.
Wait, did I just mention Adam and sanity in the same thought? Oops, forgive me. Mind you, both of them were pissed at me, weren't they? Oh, joy to the world . . .
She slid cunningly onto the desk and slowly crossed one leg over the other. Damn her for having such long legs . . . grrr . . . where is the justice in this world? Why, when God was handing out all of the body parts, did I get all the reject bits? Did I like, trip over my own feet and fall down ten cloud levels, and when I finally climbed back up, all the bits were gone and they had to make do? But, if I tripped over my own feet, that would kind of defeat the purpose of getting body parts for the maker, right? Oh, I suck . . . Me and my train of thoughts. It always crashes.
'Okay,' she licked her lips, and put a hand on her knee. A little of her thigh was exposed, I noticed. Scott, Dopey, Kevin, Todd and Luke were all leaning over a little for a better view. I was disgusted. No wonder Scott thinks all girls are easy. You got this total femme fatale here giving us a bad name. AND she's a teacher! Education today. Well, the concept works, right? The boys just LOVE learning for her.
I made a face at CeeCee, but she turned away from me, muttering something about "Miss up-herself." Did she mean Miss Jaffa? I frowned.
'So, I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you today boys,' she bared her teeth in a smile at Dopey, who looked crestfallen. 'We're having a discussion.'
'No diagrams, miss?' pouted Kevin, this beefy jock with unwanted facial hair.
'No diagrams, Kevin,' she cocked her head almost sympathetically. It was all a big act though. Everyone knew it. 'Today, we're talking about . . . love.'
I suddenly became very interested in what she was saying.
'Okay, she said with an enthusiastic smile, 'What's love, guys?'
Adam's hand shot up.
She looked a little disappointed. She only really liked playing up for the jocks. I could totally imagine her in the morning, in front of her mirror in this totally slutty red lacy bra, spraying on perfume saying, 'What will make Bradley Ackerman drool today, I wonder . . .'
NOT a nice picture. And in the tradition of Sex Ed . . . ew.
Miss Jaffa nodded at him all the name. 'Yeah, McTavish?'
Adam went a bit red. OH MY GOD! BOYS, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!!! Nevertheless, he looked determined to be the class clown.
'Love is just nature's way of tricking people into reproducing,' he stated.
Everyone snorted, and CeeCee looked annoyed with him, but in a good-natured way. He grinned stupidly.
Todd stuck up his hand. 'Love is a tennis term, miss. Means you haven't scored a single point, due to being rubbish.'
The jocks all slapped each other. My God, it wasn't even funny . . . Are they in some kind of cult?
Kelly looked very interested in the discussion also. 'Love, that's the thing that comes before sex,' she said bluntly.
'I don't need love, babe,' Scott boasted, grabbing his, er pants. Again with the jock slapping. It was really quite disturbing.
Miss Jaffa shrugged, and shot Scott a VERY flirty smile. 'Yeah, love can be confused with lust, that's right. We'll talk about that in a sec. Anything else?'
'The worst thing that will ever happen to you. The most infectious disease on the planet. It can bring life or end life. Fate is never, like, certain. It is extremely unfair and unlike in movies, the good guy NEVER gets the girl. The lying, horny, perverted one does.'
Oh, lucky Paul . . .
This feminist girl, I think her name was Brandi, with short blue – yes blue – hair – like Marge Simpson – added her two cents. 'Guys use love to get sex. Girls use sex to get love. I mean, the guy's like, "If you love me, you'll do it," and the girl's like, "Thing's will change if I put out, right?" I mean, as if . . .' she leaned back in her chair. Dopey ditched a paper ball at her, which Miss Jaffa totally pretended not to see. Brandi glared at him, and then at ME, as if, "he's your step-brother."
Oh, great. Loving the responsibility here.
I was surprised when CeeCee raised her hand. So was Adam.
'Yeah?' Miss Jaffa regarded her coldly. It was widely known that she was racist, as well as a lot of other discriminating things. Like I said, only the jocks liked her.
CeeCee shrugged. 'Love is THE most overrated thing in the universe. Most people hate it a lot, most people like it, but people have extreme feelings for it. It ALWAYS occurs in movie as a stupid subplot. 97% of the songs are about love. It's really annoying. I doubt one person in this room has ever felt genuine love yet.'
I sniffed indignantly.
Miss Jaffa turned a steely eye to me. 'It seems that Suze disagrees. Care to enlighten us, Suze?'
I went red. All the jocks chorused a big "Oooh!" I rolled my eyes at them.
Love? What did I think about love? Hmm . . .
'Love,' I said simply, 'Is different for everyone who feels it. It can't really be defined for everyone, because it always changes. But for me . . . it's when two people find each other. They feel a devotion so powerful that it feels like it can conquer everything . . . Nothing will ever destroy it. No evil can bring these two people apart, once bound so strongly by this passion. It hurts, and it makes you feel like the luckiest person on earth,' I said, my eyes glazed over. I was talking about Jesse . . . Oh my God, I really did love him . . . 'You haven't felt love until you have really met the person that you want to spend the rest of you life with. It's . . . magic,' I ended, sighing. I snapped out of my trance-like state, and saw that everyone was staring at me, not moving a muscle. CeeCee's mouth was open. I knew what everybody was probably thinking. "She's that deep?"
'Whoa, intense, dude,' Scott jeered, and threw a paper ball at me, but I caught it and threw it right back.
'Suze! Stop it!' Miss Jaffa snapped. Scott laughed mockingly.
'Ha, ha . . . this is what you get, Simon. Armani is expensive.'
'I'll give you something,' I growled . . .
'Suze,' Miss Jaffa warned, sitting back on the desk and clasped her hands together. 'Moving on,' she said, conveniently ignoring the nerds that still had their hands waving feebly in the air. 'Okay, what about lust, people. What about that?'
'Something which makes you attracted to some chick which usually leads to mad wild sex!' cheered Dopey.
'The urge to screw someone!' Scott contributed in a roar. Only he didn't say "screw."
'All right!' the jocks high fived him in turn messily. Everyone looked over at them with annoyance. Miss Jaffa just smiled that smile she smiles. I hate it . . . it makes my skin crawl.
'Lust is just a self-indulgent sexual desire, and it's stupid,' CeeCee declared.
Miss Jaffa nodded. She wanted something more raunchier than CeeCee's fact file, obviously. She looked back over to the boys for help, flicking her sleek blonde hair off her face purposely, and tilting her head in what she must have thought looked sexy. I thought she looked like a hooker, but it worked. All her targets smirked and nudged each other. I could have chucked up, I swear to God . . .
I coughed out loud, and put my hand up. Miss Jaffa again turned to me. 'My, aren't we lucky. Suze is gracing us with more definitions. Two in one hour, is that a Guinness?'
The jocks sniggered. It wasn't funny, but they are always there for their Miss Jaffa.
'Lust,' I said with dignity, 'is the deadliest of the seven deadly sins. That's all it is. A sin.' Unfortunately, after saying that, I couldn't just stop. It just came flooding out. 'It's evil, and it's always confused for love, and it can drive people to killing the ones they THINK they love, and – and it can make someone believe they are in love in return! It's horrible, and it is destructive. Lust sucks. Paul –'
Well, that made me stop.
'Oh, that's the guy that beat –' Kelly started, but CeeCee had loyalty enough to kick her in the shins. Kelly didn't appreciate this, though, if they way she chucked this big spaz about bruising easily and how obvious it would be on CeeCee's white skin if she thumped her one, was any indication at all.
Love, lust . . . One a gift, the other a curse . . . a sin.
Paul was a sin.
~*~
By the end of school, I was SO stressed it wasn't funny. I'd asked around about this "Red" guy. I was surprised how quickly I'd found out who he was. Red Beaumont. Some big-time real estate agent or something. Joy, I was going to have a BALL working on this case . . .
CeeCee and Adam were still mad at me for being such a head case. I saw them at lunch, talking quietly to each other. I knew they were talking about me. They kept shooting me looks from across the courtyard. I was sitting on my own then. It didn't make me feel that flash. And then Scott Turner came up and started verbally abusing me, saying how I was so paying for his dry- cleaning bill for that Armani jacket I apparently. I told him to go do something involving a homosexual and a sheep, making his friends woot. I swear, he looked like he wanted to hit me. Let him try . . . give me a reason to kick his butt, and I would have . . .
I flopped onto my bed as I got home, breathing really hard. I pressed my hands against my face, trying to get rid of the killer headache I had. Nothing compared to the ones I got after I shifted or whatever, but still pretty severe. Why did my life suck? Stalker-psycho ghost haunting my dreams, boyfriend in Spain, best friends hating me, yodeling ghost paying me nightly visits? That's just the beginning . . . I won't even begin to describe my mealtime nausea, watching my stepbrothers EAT.
Ew . . .
I jumped up, and put on my gloves, and then started beating the shit out of my boxing bag. God, it helped relieve the stress a bit. I moved around it in rhythmic movements, punching it skillfully. I really was getting good, you know. My strength had increased dramatically since Paul had left.
Screw him . . .
I began thinking more profoundly about that whole Love/Lust discussion we had at school today. It really opened my eyes, believe it or not. I'm serious. Never had I thought about it in that way. So, ha, maybe this thing I was feeling that caused me to dream about Paul like that was only lust? But . . . ew! Sexual desire?! WRONG. I mean, Paul is hot. We, unfortunately, cannot deny that. And God knows no woman is complete until they have seen him in leather, but Paul was wrong in every way.
* Everything about him was bad, and if I listened to him too long, I would turn bad too . . .*
And don't I know it . . . I sighed and thought about everything else, lying there comfortably on my bed. You know, the "Red lady" thing. I should really call the number that CeeCee gave me. But I SO did not feel like moving. I sighed, and thought about Tara. Would she come back as a ghost? She'd probably come to me if she did. But a lot of people make the mistake in thinking that everyone comes back as one. That's SO not true, thank God, or I would have no hope at a social life. Only the people who left messy stuff behind come back to haunt me and nag me until I've whipped out my Mediating spray-and-wipe and I've cleaned up the mess. Joy . . . Again, I sighed. I felt so relaxed. I didn't want to move a muscle . . .
'Suze! Phone!' Andy bellowed up the stairs.
MY GOD! WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME PEACE AROUND HERE, GOD DAMMIT?!?!
'All right!' I snapped down at him. I looked around furtively, and making sure no one was watching, I did four ace back flips down the stairs and landed perfectly on my feet. I kissed my hand, and waved it to an invisible audience. 'And gold goes to . . . oh my, little old me!'
Ha, I've still got it, eh? Yeah, whatever. God, I suck. If this was CeeCee ringing for me to get my head out of my butt, I would seriously do my nut. Everything was driving me CRAZY! If I didn't escape this insanity, I didn't know what would become of me . . . I grabbed the cordless and flopped onto one of the couches in the lounge where no one was, funnily enough. No X-Box obsessed Dopey or nothing, and not even a Doc testing which was harder, gravel or sand.
'Hello?' I said cautiously into the phone.
'. . . Querida.'
One word. One single word that seemed to make everything so much better . . .
That soft, sexy Spanish lilted voice purred through the receiver, embracing me and making everything in my life seem to insignificant. It was only then that I realized how much I missed Jesse . . . I melted on the couch.
'Oh, Jesse,' I gushed, 'I've missed you so much!'
I heard his sexy little chuckle. 'But it's only been a day, Susannah.'
I frowned. 'Anyone would miss you,' I replied with a grin. He sniggered in this totally cute, breathy way that sounded so sexy on the phone. Why does he have to be so sexy? It's not fair!
My heart was soaring. My Jesse had finally called me up! Well, only after a day, but still.
'I wasn't sure if you were still alive,' I snapped playfully. 'Could have died in a plane crash, you know. It happens. Or Madrid could have been bombed,' I added.
He "hmm"ed me. 'Yeah, I know about that,' he said seriously.
It was great. We talked for ages about everything and anything. I told him all about the Red lady, and Tara's mysterious death and everything. He listened patiently, and commented in all the right places. OH so cute. I grinned secretly.
'Susannah, there IS something that you should know,' Jesse said, with a somewhat hesitant pause,
My heart skipped a beat. Why did that sound weird?
'Go on?' I said. Great, he's probably going to tell me that the souvenir "España!" T-shirt he bought me only came in XXXXL or something. Oh well, I could deal, right? RIGHT?!
'Susannah,' he said. Why did he call me that still? I was just getting into the whole "querida" deal. I pouted but he couldn't see me, so I stopped due to the futility of it, and it hurt my lips and forehead a bit too. 'There . . . well,' I heard him swallow a little. Whoa. XXXXL wasn't THAT bad. Was it . . . something else?
'Susannah,' he repeated, sounding a bit braver.
'Yes, Jesse?'
'I've . . . I've met someone here.'
The words took about thirty seconds to register. I kind of didn't hear what he was saying while I was still trying to make sense of them. Jesse. Had. Met. Someone. Who the HELL was someone?
WAIT!
Oh my God!
Jesse had met someone! ANOTHER someone! To replace me!
The realization bit me like a hammer head shark. I felt myself being ripped apart. I kind of squeaked into the phone. Jesse! Jesse was dumping me! He hated me! He didn't love me! Oh my God, how could this happen?!
'Susannah? SUSANNAH!' he cried through the receiver. I realized that I had dropped it on the floor. I would have been embarrassed, but I was too wounded.
'Jesse,' I said breathlessly, trying to sound calm, 'So, you've met someone?'
He sounded relieved. RELIEVED. 'Yes. She is a mediator. She is very Spanish, and knows only little English. She is sixteen, like yourself. Coincidence.'
Off with the old, on with the new! Oh my God, I had been played like a harpsichord! I kind of gasped again, trying to choke down a sob. Jesse was dumping me!
'So . . . you're with her now?' I asked.
'Yes, she's right here,' he said with amusement, sounding more and more relieved by the second. I sat rigid on the couch. I couldn't move. Every muscle was as tense and hard as diamonds. And those diamonds cut.
'She understands nothing about mediating,' he went on, 'So she has asked if I give her a little extra, well, tutoring.
TUTORING!
THIS IS BAAAAAAAAAD!!
'Jesse,' I gasped. I couldn't help it this time, it slipped out. He sounded shocked by it.
'Susannah –'
'No, don't Susannah me,' I snarled into the phone. Kelly was SO right. I had been so stupid! How could I have thought that Jesse would be happy with ME? My God, was I blind. I SUCKED. Of course he'd want some Spanish booty. I wasn't enough to satisfy a hot, sexy, smart guy like him. I was nothing compared to him . . . I wasn't rich, I wasn't all that pretty, I had nothing special about me – save being a Shifter – and I had no sense of humour. What could he have possibly seen in me? Why had I not seen this before? Oh, it was hurting now. I could feel my heart splintering. It ached like nothing else.
'Susannah! Please, let me tell you about her . . . '
'No, I think I'll be right,' I sniffed, trying not to bawl into the phone. 'On second thought, no. Just tell me her name, Jesse. Then just shut up.'
'But Susannah –'
'WHAT'S HER NAME, GOD DAMMIT?'
Jesse was silent on the other end of the line. I could just hear him breathing. Why did he sound so shocked? Did he expect me to give him a "Well Done" balloon on string when he told me? Hell NO. My voice was wobbling dangerously. I was almost beside myself.
'Her name,' he breathed, 'Is Querida Andres . . . '
QUERIDA! That little . . . ugh!
No WONDER he had been calling me Susannah! Oh my God. That hurt more than anything did.
I hung up, and then slung the phone across the room, and burst into tears.
**************************************************************************** *********
Guys, DON'T jump to conclusions. Don't you think that Suze overreacted just a *little*? Stop flaming me already, jeez! Just wait and see what happens . . .
I want you to review!!! Please do, and re-read author's note at the top if you haven't already. Important! I need you help, guys! Then I'll get the next chapter up quicker, and the new story that the author's note is in reference to!
Love ya!
MystAngel.
I'm so happy! I got a HAIRCUT! Shoulder-length, red streaks, layered! It looks like a very stylish black balloon!
. . . er, I think that's a good thing . . .
*Now worried . . . *
RE-NOTE – Anyhow! I'm sorry to say that a lot of people misunderstood my last chapter note . . . *Blushes.* When I said give me ideas, a lot of you didn't read it properly, I think, and gave me ideas for this story. I said your ideas for your ideal mediator story, just as long as it had the Paul/Jesse swap. So, I'm a little disappointed, and worried if I set it out wrong. I thought it was understandable, but I dunno . . . maybe I'm losing my touch. Hell, maybe I had no touch to begin with! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!
So, long story short, if you could email me with the ideas you have for your IDEAL fanfic, that would be wicked. Sorry to be confusing . . .
Disclaimer: Some definitions come from www.urbandictionary.com.
**************************************************************************** ****************
Suze's POV
Getting back to sleep when you've just been woken up from a horrific nightmare packed with ghastly revelations if there's a ghost screaming in your ear, you know?
Because that was my deal.
That thin, hippy ghost was back. She was screeching so hard that my open windows were shaking freakishly. I stared at her in alarm.
'Hey,' I whispered, 'You're seriously making me consider posting office hours on my door.'
She, again, stopped screaming, and looked at my with watery eyes. You know how, in those Anime shows, how the character's eyes like, wobble when they cry? It SO happens. I am way serious. They kept flickering, but it could have been because she was shaking so hard.
'You didn't – didn't tell him,' she stuttered, biting her fingernails anxiously, trying to keep herself from crying again. 'He n-needs to know. He's h-hurting inside. It's k-killing h-him.'
'Dude,' I said with annoyance, rubbing my blurry eyes, 'I don't know who "he" is. I can't do –'
'Red,' she said desperately, bursting into tears again. 'You KNOW him! You d-did nothing to t-tell him! He b-blames himself! Please . . .' she whimpered.
It broke my heart. I swear to God. The state she was in, I literally felt compassion that I haven't ever for a ghost. It was weird.
'Okay,' I grumbled. 'But –'
Only she kind of dematerialized then.
God dammit! What is WITH her?!
Jesus . . . I wished Jesse was here . . .
~*~
I woke up at five am. I had barely gotten any sleep, and I was pretty damn pissed. I mean, PRETTY DAMN PISSED. In an effort to disguise the leaded bags under my eyes, I caked my face with foundation. I mean, I don't usually go overboard, but this was an emergency, people. Please. I looked like a bloody gorgon!
Well, okay, I still wasn't wearing half as much facial gunk as Kelly Prescott, but still.
It was a lot for me.
After Sleepy drove the four of us – himself, Doc, Dopey, and I – to the Mission, I met up with CeeCee.
'Hey,' I smiled, and touched her shoulder, but she pulled away.
'Simon? One word: ew,' she scoffed. I frowned, and looked at my hands.
Oh yeah. The poison oak thing . . .
'You didn't seem to notice yesterday,' I said sourly, hiding my scaly hands in my sweater.
'I was distraught,' she snapped. 'I wasn't thinking properly. Don't worry, I scrubbed myself hard.'
I shoved her playfully, and wiggled my puss-covered fingers in front of her eyes. She was disgusted.
'Yo, Suze,' Adam sidled up next to me. He had a weird look on his face, as if he was still pissed with me. Which, by rights, he probably was.
'Look Adam, I'm sorry about yesterday,' I said, trailing my hand through my hair and tossing my head slightly.
He shrugged, his hands casually in his pockets. 'No biggie.'
CeeCee frowned as she did her locker combination. 'Yesterday? What happened yesterday? Suze, you didn't –'
'No,' I said.
'Didn't what?' Adam wanted to know. CeeCee finally opened her locker, but was now staring at me accusingly.
'Nothing!' I snapped.
'Does it have something to do with –'
'Oh for God's sake, yes! You both know. Yay! Go chat about it amongst yourselves then, see if I care,' I snarled at him, slamming CeeCee's locker door. I was out of there like a shot. Me and my lumpy hands . . .
'Suze!'
I spun around, breathing hard through my teeth. Debbie Mancuso looked at me with disdain. 'You seen Kelly around?'
'No,' I snapped. 'Maybe she's up your –'
'Ouch,' she replied. 'Cool it, Simon. Just asking. She like, so hasn't been here since that dead body thing at her party? He dad's like, blaming her and everything. It was SO unfair. I think she's getting sick from it, you know?'
I tapped my foot impatiently at her.
'Okay, fine, go. Have some sympathy, Jeez,' she said, surprised at my attitude. I was surprised at it too. So Adam AND CeeCee knew. Not the end of the world, right? They wouldn't tell.
Well, at least I hoped . . .
~*~
I slid into my classroom just in tome before Miss Jaffa (Her name is Miss Jeffrey, but I learnt that like, NO ONE ever calls her that any more.) And then class she teaches?
Er, that would be Sex Ed.
I know, all together? EW.
Look, I have Jesse, but we are so not ready for that stuff yet. I mean, I'm sixteen. Yes, I'd like to someday, but it's a bit hard, him being in, oh where was it?
Uh, how about SPAIN.
Long distance orgasms, totally . . . okay, I realize that was seriously wrong. What can I say? Sex Ed brings out the worst in me. It's worst that I have it with Dopey and the gang. I mean, they so crack up whenever Miss Jaffa mentions the word "erect." I mean, how bloody immature, hey? Hell, even the word "big." I mean, come ON.
Ha . . . what Esmerelda De Silva said came swimming back into my mind . . . 'Jesse has a penis!' Little cutie. Emerelda, I mean. Jesse, well he's a big cutie.
I looked around, and noticed to my amusement that Kelly was sitting in class, looking extra sour. As in, millions of lemons sour. Daddy dearest had obviously made her go to school when she tried to chuck a sickie. But it was fair enough. These mere mortals were not accustomed to seeing dead people. Ha, and don't I wish I was like them . . .
Dopey screwed up a piece of paper and pelted it across the classroom. It ricocheted off of CeeCee's head. She didn't move, but I saw her hands clench around her pencil case. The jocks roared with laughter.
I pity Brad's mother . . . it must have been so tough on her in those years of his childhood . . . Hey, I wonder how she died, anyway?
'Come on guys, stop ditching stuff at the girls,' Miss Jaffa smiled as she walked in. The guys like her a lot. She has really white straight teeth, a sharp, yet attractive face, blond straight hair and wears these really cool clothes. She's like, really curvy and is, well, very endowed in the chest area, so yeah. She can get Dopey's attention any day.
Uh . . .
I think this class is just a series of "ew"s.
Oh well, at least CeeCee and Adam were in the class as well. Save my sanity.
Wait, did I just mention Adam and sanity in the same thought? Oops, forgive me. Mind you, both of them were pissed at me, weren't they? Oh, joy to the world . . .
She slid cunningly onto the desk and slowly crossed one leg over the other. Damn her for having such long legs . . . grrr . . . where is the justice in this world? Why, when God was handing out all of the body parts, did I get all the reject bits? Did I like, trip over my own feet and fall down ten cloud levels, and when I finally climbed back up, all the bits were gone and they had to make do? But, if I tripped over my own feet, that would kind of defeat the purpose of getting body parts for the maker, right? Oh, I suck . . . Me and my train of thoughts. It always crashes.
'Okay,' she licked her lips, and put a hand on her knee. A little of her thigh was exposed, I noticed. Scott, Dopey, Kevin, Todd and Luke were all leaning over a little for a better view. I was disgusted. No wonder Scott thinks all girls are easy. You got this total femme fatale here giving us a bad name. AND she's a teacher! Education today. Well, the concept works, right? The boys just LOVE learning for her.
I made a face at CeeCee, but she turned away from me, muttering something about "Miss up-herself." Did she mean Miss Jaffa? I frowned.
'So, I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you today boys,' she bared her teeth in a smile at Dopey, who looked crestfallen. 'We're having a discussion.'
'No diagrams, miss?' pouted Kevin, this beefy jock with unwanted facial hair.
'No diagrams, Kevin,' she cocked her head almost sympathetically. It was all a big act though. Everyone knew it. 'Today, we're talking about . . . love.'
I suddenly became very interested in what she was saying.
'Okay, she said with an enthusiastic smile, 'What's love, guys?'
Adam's hand shot up.
She looked a little disappointed. She only really liked playing up for the jocks. I could totally imagine her in the morning, in front of her mirror in this totally slutty red lacy bra, spraying on perfume saying, 'What will make Bradley Ackerman drool today, I wonder . . .'
NOT a nice picture. And in the tradition of Sex Ed . . . ew.
Miss Jaffa nodded at him all the name. 'Yeah, McTavish?'
Adam went a bit red. OH MY GOD! BOYS, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!!! Nevertheless, he looked determined to be the class clown.
'Love is just nature's way of tricking people into reproducing,' he stated.
Everyone snorted, and CeeCee looked annoyed with him, but in a good-natured way. He grinned stupidly.
Todd stuck up his hand. 'Love is a tennis term, miss. Means you haven't scored a single point, due to being rubbish.'
The jocks all slapped each other. My God, it wasn't even funny . . . Are they in some kind of cult?
Kelly looked very interested in the discussion also. 'Love, that's the thing that comes before sex,' she said bluntly.
'I don't need love, babe,' Scott boasted, grabbing his, er pants. Again with the jock slapping. It was really quite disturbing.
Miss Jaffa shrugged, and shot Scott a VERY flirty smile. 'Yeah, love can be confused with lust, that's right. We'll talk about that in a sec. Anything else?'
'The worst thing that will ever happen to you. The most infectious disease on the planet. It can bring life or end life. Fate is never, like, certain. It is extremely unfair and unlike in movies, the good guy NEVER gets the girl. The lying, horny, perverted one does.'
Oh, lucky Paul . . .
This feminist girl, I think her name was Brandi, with short blue – yes blue – hair – like Marge Simpson – added her two cents. 'Guys use love to get sex. Girls use sex to get love. I mean, the guy's like, "If you love me, you'll do it," and the girl's like, "Thing's will change if I put out, right?" I mean, as if . . .' she leaned back in her chair. Dopey ditched a paper ball at her, which Miss Jaffa totally pretended not to see. Brandi glared at him, and then at ME, as if, "he's your step-brother."
Oh, great. Loving the responsibility here.
I was surprised when CeeCee raised her hand. So was Adam.
'Yeah?' Miss Jaffa regarded her coldly. It was widely known that she was racist, as well as a lot of other discriminating things. Like I said, only the jocks liked her.
CeeCee shrugged. 'Love is THE most overrated thing in the universe. Most people hate it a lot, most people like it, but people have extreme feelings for it. It ALWAYS occurs in movie as a stupid subplot. 97% of the songs are about love. It's really annoying. I doubt one person in this room has ever felt genuine love yet.'
I sniffed indignantly.
Miss Jaffa turned a steely eye to me. 'It seems that Suze disagrees. Care to enlighten us, Suze?'
I went red. All the jocks chorused a big "Oooh!" I rolled my eyes at them.
Love? What did I think about love? Hmm . . .
'Love,' I said simply, 'Is different for everyone who feels it. It can't really be defined for everyone, because it always changes. But for me . . . it's when two people find each other. They feel a devotion so powerful that it feels like it can conquer everything . . . Nothing will ever destroy it. No evil can bring these two people apart, once bound so strongly by this passion. It hurts, and it makes you feel like the luckiest person on earth,' I said, my eyes glazed over. I was talking about Jesse . . . Oh my God, I really did love him . . . 'You haven't felt love until you have really met the person that you want to spend the rest of you life with. It's . . . magic,' I ended, sighing. I snapped out of my trance-like state, and saw that everyone was staring at me, not moving a muscle. CeeCee's mouth was open. I knew what everybody was probably thinking. "She's that deep?"
'Whoa, intense, dude,' Scott jeered, and threw a paper ball at me, but I caught it and threw it right back.
'Suze! Stop it!' Miss Jaffa snapped. Scott laughed mockingly.
'Ha, ha . . . this is what you get, Simon. Armani is expensive.'
'I'll give you something,' I growled . . .
'Suze,' Miss Jaffa warned, sitting back on the desk and clasped her hands together. 'Moving on,' she said, conveniently ignoring the nerds that still had their hands waving feebly in the air. 'Okay, what about lust, people. What about that?'
'Something which makes you attracted to some chick which usually leads to mad wild sex!' cheered Dopey.
'The urge to screw someone!' Scott contributed in a roar. Only he didn't say "screw."
'All right!' the jocks high fived him in turn messily. Everyone looked over at them with annoyance. Miss Jaffa just smiled that smile she smiles. I hate it . . . it makes my skin crawl.
'Lust is just a self-indulgent sexual desire, and it's stupid,' CeeCee declared.
Miss Jaffa nodded. She wanted something more raunchier than CeeCee's fact file, obviously. She looked back over to the boys for help, flicking her sleek blonde hair off her face purposely, and tilting her head in what she must have thought looked sexy. I thought she looked like a hooker, but it worked. All her targets smirked and nudged each other. I could have chucked up, I swear to God . . .
I coughed out loud, and put my hand up. Miss Jaffa again turned to me. 'My, aren't we lucky. Suze is gracing us with more definitions. Two in one hour, is that a Guinness?'
The jocks sniggered. It wasn't funny, but they are always there for their Miss Jaffa.
'Lust,' I said with dignity, 'is the deadliest of the seven deadly sins. That's all it is. A sin.' Unfortunately, after saying that, I couldn't just stop. It just came flooding out. 'It's evil, and it's always confused for love, and it can drive people to killing the ones they THINK they love, and – and it can make someone believe they are in love in return! It's horrible, and it is destructive. Lust sucks. Paul –'
Well, that made me stop.
'Oh, that's the guy that beat –' Kelly started, but CeeCee had loyalty enough to kick her in the shins. Kelly didn't appreciate this, though, if they way she chucked this big spaz about bruising easily and how obvious it would be on CeeCee's white skin if she thumped her one, was any indication at all.
Love, lust . . . One a gift, the other a curse . . . a sin.
Paul was a sin.
~*~
By the end of school, I was SO stressed it wasn't funny. I'd asked around about this "Red" guy. I was surprised how quickly I'd found out who he was. Red Beaumont. Some big-time real estate agent or something. Joy, I was going to have a BALL working on this case . . .
CeeCee and Adam were still mad at me for being such a head case. I saw them at lunch, talking quietly to each other. I knew they were talking about me. They kept shooting me looks from across the courtyard. I was sitting on my own then. It didn't make me feel that flash. And then Scott Turner came up and started verbally abusing me, saying how I was so paying for his dry- cleaning bill for that Armani jacket I apparently. I told him to go do something involving a homosexual and a sheep, making his friends woot. I swear, he looked like he wanted to hit me. Let him try . . . give me a reason to kick his butt, and I would have . . .
I flopped onto my bed as I got home, breathing really hard. I pressed my hands against my face, trying to get rid of the killer headache I had. Nothing compared to the ones I got after I shifted or whatever, but still pretty severe. Why did my life suck? Stalker-psycho ghost haunting my dreams, boyfriend in Spain, best friends hating me, yodeling ghost paying me nightly visits? That's just the beginning . . . I won't even begin to describe my mealtime nausea, watching my stepbrothers EAT.
Ew . . .
I jumped up, and put on my gloves, and then started beating the shit out of my boxing bag. God, it helped relieve the stress a bit. I moved around it in rhythmic movements, punching it skillfully. I really was getting good, you know. My strength had increased dramatically since Paul had left.
Screw him . . .
I began thinking more profoundly about that whole Love/Lust discussion we had at school today. It really opened my eyes, believe it or not. I'm serious. Never had I thought about it in that way. So, ha, maybe this thing I was feeling that caused me to dream about Paul like that was only lust? But . . . ew! Sexual desire?! WRONG. I mean, Paul is hot. We, unfortunately, cannot deny that. And God knows no woman is complete until they have seen him in leather, but Paul was wrong in every way.
* Everything about him was bad, and if I listened to him too long, I would turn bad too . . .*
And don't I know it . . . I sighed and thought about everything else, lying there comfortably on my bed. You know, the "Red lady" thing. I should really call the number that CeeCee gave me. But I SO did not feel like moving. I sighed, and thought about Tara. Would she come back as a ghost? She'd probably come to me if she did. But a lot of people make the mistake in thinking that everyone comes back as one. That's SO not true, thank God, or I would have no hope at a social life. Only the people who left messy stuff behind come back to haunt me and nag me until I've whipped out my Mediating spray-and-wipe and I've cleaned up the mess. Joy . . . Again, I sighed. I felt so relaxed. I didn't want to move a muscle . . .
'Suze! Phone!' Andy bellowed up the stairs.
MY GOD! WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME PEACE AROUND HERE, GOD DAMMIT?!?!
'All right!' I snapped down at him. I looked around furtively, and making sure no one was watching, I did four ace back flips down the stairs and landed perfectly on my feet. I kissed my hand, and waved it to an invisible audience. 'And gold goes to . . . oh my, little old me!'
Ha, I've still got it, eh? Yeah, whatever. God, I suck. If this was CeeCee ringing for me to get my head out of my butt, I would seriously do my nut. Everything was driving me CRAZY! If I didn't escape this insanity, I didn't know what would become of me . . . I grabbed the cordless and flopped onto one of the couches in the lounge where no one was, funnily enough. No X-Box obsessed Dopey or nothing, and not even a Doc testing which was harder, gravel or sand.
'Hello?' I said cautiously into the phone.
'. . . Querida.'
One word. One single word that seemed to make everything so much better . . .
That soft, sexy Spanish lilted voice purred through the receiver, embracing me and making everything in my life seem to insignificant. It was only then that I realized how much I missed Jesse . . . I melted on the couch.
'Oh, Jesse,' I gushed, 'I've missed you so much!'
I heard his sexy little chuckle. 'But it's only been a day, Susannah.'
I frowned. 'Anyone would miss you,' I replied with a grin. He sniggered in this totally cute, breathy way that sounded so sexy on the phone. Why does he have to be so sexy? It's not fair!
My heart was soaring. My Jesse had finally called me up! Well, only after a day, but still.
'I wasn't sure if you were still alive,' I snapped playfully. 'Could have died in a plane crash, you know. It happens. Or Madrid could have been bombed,' I added.
He "hmm"ed me. 'Yeah, I know about that,' he said seriously.
It was great. We talked for ages about everything and anything. I told him all about the Red lady, and Tara's mysterious death and everything. He listened patiently, and commented in all the right places. OH so cute. I grinned secretly.
'Susannah, there IS something that you should know,' Jesse said, with a somewhat hesitant pause,
My heart skipped a beat. Why did that sound weird?
'Go on?' I said. Great, he's probably going to tell me that the souvenir "España!" T-shirt he bought me only came in XXXXL or something. Oh well, I could deal, right? RIGHT?!
'Susannah,' he said. Why did he call me that still? I was just getting into the whole "querida" deal. I pouted but he couldn't see me, so I stopped due to the futility of it, and it hurt my lips and forehead a bit too. 'There . . . well,' I heard him swallow a little. Whoa. XXXXL wasn't THAT bad. Was it . . . something else?
'Susannah,' he repeated, sounding a bit braver.
'Yes, Jesse?'
'I've . . . I've met someone here.'
The words took about thirty seconds to register. I kind of didn't hear what he was saying while I was still trying to make sense of them. Jesse. Had. Met. Someone. Who the HELL was someone?
WAIT!
Oh my God!
Jesse had met someone! ANOTHER someone! To replace me!
The realization bit me like a hammer head shark. I felt myself being ripped apart. I kind of squeaked into the phone. Jesse! Jesse was dumping me! He hated me! He didn't love me! Oh my God, how could this happen?!
'Susannah? SUSANNAH!' he cried through the receiver. I realized that I had dropped it on the floor. I would have been embarrassed, but I was too wounded.
'Jesse,' I said breathlessly, trying to sound calm, 'So, you've met someone?'
He sounded relieved. RELIEVED. 'Yes. She is a mediator. She is very Spanish, and knows only little English. She is sixteen, like yourself. Coincidence.'
Off with the old, on with the new! Oh my God, I had been played like a harpsichord! I kind of gasped again, trying to choke down a sob. Jesse was dumping me!
'So . . . you're with her now?' I asked.
'Yes, she's right here,' he said with amusement, sounding more and more relieved by the second. I sat rigid on the couch. I couldn't move. Every muscle was as tense and hard as diamonds. And those diamonds cut.
'She understands nothing about mediating,' he went on, 'So she has asked if I give her a little extra, well, tutoring.
TUTORING!
THIS IS BAAAAAAAAAD!!
'Jesse,' I gasped. I couldn't help it this time, it slipped out. He sounded shocked by it.
'Susannah –'
'No, don't Susannah me,' I snarled into the phone. Kelly was SO right. I had been so stupid! How could I have thought that Jesse would be happy with ME? My God, was I blind. I SUCKED. Of course he'd want some Spanish booty. I wasn't enough to satisfy a hot, sexy, smart guy like him. I was nothing compared to him . . . I wasn't rich, I wasn't all that pretty, I had nothing special about me – save being a Shifter – and I had no sense of humour. What could he have possibly seen in me? Why had I not seen this before? Oh, it was hurting now. I could feel my heart splintering. It ached like nothing else.
'Susannah! Please, let me tell you about her . . . '
'No, I think I'll be right,' I sniffed, trying not to bawl into the phone. 'On second thought, no. Just tell me her name, Jesse. Then just shut up.'
'But Susannah –'
'WHAT'S HER NAME, GOD DAMMIT?'
Jesse was silent on the other end of the line. I could just hear him breathing. Why did he sound so shocked? Did he expect me to give him a "Well Done" balloon on string when he told me? Hell NO. My voice was wobbling dangerously. I was almost beside myself.
'Her name,' he breathed, 'Is Querida Andres . . . '
QUERIDA! That little . . . ugh!
No WONDER he had been calling me Susannah! Oh my God. That hurt more than anything did.
I hung up, and then slung the phone across the room, and burst into tears.
**************************************************************************** *********
Guys, DON'T jump to conclusions. Don't you think that Suze overreacted just a *little*? Stop flaming me already, jeez! Just wait and see what happens . . .
I want you to review!!! Please do, and re-read author's note at the top if you haven't already. Important! I need you help, guys! Then I'll get the next chapter up quicker, and the new story that the author's note is in reference to!
Love ya!
MystAngel.