This chapter is dedicated to my faithful reviewer, Ralph, who has given me many ideas that have helped my mind get rid of the writer's block. Thank you Ralph!
Chapter 7
Crystal widened her eyes in astonishment. She regained her composure and said, in what she hoped was an indifferent voice,
"What about Trinity?"
"You showing up again, after us being neighbors since we were ten, have made me question my feelings for you all over again. Trinity is the last thing on my mind right now. I think I never loved her. I was merely in love with the thought of someone caring so much about me. But Trinity can't compare to you. You have courage, humor, beauty, and intelligence that are ten times greater than Trinity's qualities will ever be. And I know you so much better, we grew up side by side, we worked side by side, for so many years...and during those many years, I couldn't help falling in love as I got to know you. And although I have tried to restrain myself from expressing my feelings so you can be guilt-free about being in love with Peter, but my love has been held in for so many years that it just broke through.
Remember when we were kids, Crystal? And your mom named you Crystal because she wanted you to grow up to be a proper, delicate woman? Oh, we were the best of the friends on the playground and later on all the movies I watched seemed hilarious when you were there with me...you broke my heart then, when you started dating the star of the football team...I vowed I would never fall for you again. But the truth is, I never got over you. Your protests against animal testing, helping the homeless, always giving your allowance to the poor...The size of your heart never ceased to amaze me, and you were always so cheerful that I fell in love with your kindness, but even more in love with all of you, the paragon of perfection."
"I'm not the same person anymore, Neo. I've changed. I'm not the carefree, free-spirited hippie girl that you once knew. I'm horrendous compared to Trinity, you deserve much better than me. A caring, loving person like you does not want someone like me, believe me."
"How can someone like you be horrendous? How did you change? You still seemed like the carefree dancer the other day when you convinced me to bust a move..."
Crystal burst into angry sobs. "Stop putting me up on a pedestal because I'm not who you think I am!"
Neo stepped back, aghast. He had never seen Crystal show this much rage. He tried to calm her down by stroking her hair, but she pulled away angrier than before. She spoke between sobs.
"You're not in love with me, you're in love with the idea of someone like I used to be, someone who cares about the world as much as you do. Well, you know what? What use is it to care so much about the world if you're punished with suffering like I was? You think you know me so well? I bet you didn't know that I did some time in a reformatory ...for m-murder. An idiotic, senseless burst of violence and it was my fault and..."
Crystal crumpled to the ground, shaking from the brutal memory of those many nights ago in the dark thunderstorm ...
The lightning flashed across the sky, and the thunder rumbled with such force that Crystal clung to her mother tighter than before. The older raven-black haired woman with sparkling green eyes like her daughter merrily smiled and told Crystal not to be afraid because the whole world was watching over them. Crystal relaxed and she returned to briskly walking on the slippery pavement. But Crystal saw a suspicious, hazy figure in the distance but decided not to warn her mother since she had said that the whole world was good, so Crystal was sure this man was just going to bring her mother an umbrella to keep out the cold. Crystal didn't think that this man could be potentially dangerous so she decided not to warn her mother, of poor eye-sight, assuming the man would either pass right by them or give them an umbrella.
She was dead wrong. The man with sunglasses and trench coat leaped upon Crystal's screaming mother, raped her, and then shot her between the eyes, dead, dropping his pistol and disappearing into the night. Crystal called out, "Mommy, mommy" many times but was only greeted with silence. Crystal began to cry and wanted to hear her mother's voice again. Crystal remembered that her mother had told her that everyone went to heaven when they died, so Crystal figured out that she could shoot herself with the pistol the man had left behind and be together with her mother at last and pay for the hideous mistake of not warning her mother of the potential danger. Crystal thought that her mother's death was her fault, because she had failed to give any warning. Crystal thought she could've stopped the hideous man from killing her mother if only she hadn't hidden in fear. She picked up the stranger's pistol and held it in her hand, but before she could pull the trigger, a police car approached her and found her with a pistol in hand with a corpse lying next to her.
The police questioned frightened five-year-old Crystal, and when they asked her if she had killed her mother, she replied that she had because Crystal truly believed that her mother's death was her fault. The police promptly shipped Crystal to a reformatory where Crystal was so constantly trying to commit suicide that she had to be sent to a mental ward where she was hypnotized to forget the entire incident of her mother's death and try to live a normal family life.
The mental ward finally succeeded in hypnotizing Crystal to forget the incident when she turned nine years old, so they moved her out into the country with a trustworthy foster parent, where Crystal became the free- spirited girl living next to Neo.
But the hypnotism could only block out the painful memory for so long. And it wasn't until the night that the sentinel attacked her that the entire brutal incident came flooding back, filling her with guilt once again. Crystal was no longer the same person.
Crystal hadn't realized that she had sobbed her entire painful flashback out loud, and Neo looked at her with his gentle brown eyes, feeling sorry for the woman he loved. He tried to comfort her,
"It wasn't your fault that your mother died, Crystal, you have to come at peace with that! You were only five years old when it happened and just because you never had a parent who loved you doesn't mean anyone else can't love you too. I still love you, because it wasn't you that killed that your mother, it was the man with sunglasses. Come on, do you think you could give me a chance, the sure thing, instead of Peter, a program who might never become human?"
Crystal hesitated.
Chapter 7
Crystal widened her eyes in astonishment. She regained her composure and said, in what she hoped was an indifferent voice,
"What about Trinity?"
"You showing up again, after us being neighbors since we were ten, have made me question my feelings for you all over again. Trinity is the last thing on my mind right now. I think I never loved her. I was merely in love with the thought of someone caring so much about me. But Trinity can't compare to you. You have courage, humor, beauty, and intelligence that are ten times greater than Trinity's qualities will ever be. And I know you so much better, we grew up side by side, we worked side by side, for so many years...and during those many years, I couldn't help falling in love as I got to know you. And although I have tried to restrain myself from expressing my feelings so you can be guilt-free about being in love with Peter, but my love has been held in for so many years that it just broke through.
Remember when we were kids, Crystal? And your mom named you Crystal because she wanted you to grow up to be a proper, delicate woman? Oh, we were the best of the friends on the playground and later on all the movies I watched seemed hilarious when you were there with me...you broke my heart then, when you started dating the star of the football team...I vowed I would never fall for you again. But the truth is, I never got over you. Your protests against animal testing, helping the homeless, always giving your allowance to the poor...The size of your heart never ceased to amaze me, and you were always so cheerful that I fell in love with your kindness, but even more in love with all of you, the paragon of perfection."
"I'm not the same person anymore, Neo. I've changed. I'm not the carefree, free-spirited hippie girl that you once knew. I'm horrendous compared to Trinity, you deserve much better than me. A caring, loving person like you does not want someone like me, believe me."
"How can someone like you be horrendous? How did you change? You still seemed like the carefree dancer the other day when you convinced me to bust a move..."
Crystal burst into angry sobs. "Stop putting me up on a pedestal because I'm not who you think I am!"
Neo stepped back, aghast. He had never seen Crystal show this much rage. He tried to calm her down by stroking her hair, but she pulled away angrier than before. She spoke between sobs.
"You're not in love with me, you're in love with the idea of someone like I used to be, someone who cares about the world as much as you do. Well, you know what? What use is it to care so much about the world if you're punished with suffering like I was? You think you know me so well? I bet you didn't know that I did some time in a reformatory ...for m-murder. An idiotic, senseless burst of violence and it was my fault and..."
Crystal crumpled to the ground, shaking from the brutal memory of those many nights ago in the dark thunderstorm ...
The lightning flashed across the sky, and the thunder rumbled with such force that Crystal clung to her mother tighter than before. The older raven-black haired woman with sparkling green eyes like her daughter merrily smiled and told Crystal not to be afraid because the whole world was watching over them. Crystal relaxed and she returned to briskly walking on the slippery pavement. But Crystal saw a suspicious, hazy figure in the distance but decided not to warn her mother since she had said that the whole world was good, so Crystal was sure this man was just going to bring her mother an umbrella to keep out the cold. Crystal didn't think that this man could be potentially dangerous so she decided not to warn her mother, of poor eye-sight, assuming the man would either pass right by them or give them an umbrella.
She was dead wrong. The man with sunglasses and trench coat leaped upon Crystal's screaming mother, raped her, and then shot her between the eyes, dead, dropping his pistol and disappearing into the night. Crystal called out, "Mommy, mommy" many times but was only greeted with silence. Crystal began to cry and wanted to hear her mother's voice again. Crystal remembered that her mother had told her that everyone went to heaven when they died, so Crystal figured out that she could shoot herself with the pistol the man had left behind and be together with her mother at last and pay for the hideous mistake of not warning her mother of the potential danger. Crystal thought that her mother's death was her fault, because she had failed to give any warning. Crystal thought she could've stopped the hideous man from killing her mother if only she hadn't hidden in fear. She picked up the stranger's pistol and held it in her hand, but before she could pull the trigger, a police car approached her and found her with a pistol in hand with a corpse lying next to her.
The police questioned frightened five-year-old Crystal, and when they asked her if she had killed her mother, she replied that she had because Crystal truly believed that her mother's death was her fault. The police promptly shipped Crystal to a reformatory where Crystal was so constantly trying to commit suicide that she had to be sent to a mental ward where she was hypnotized to forget the entire incident of her mother's death and try to live a normal family life.
The mental ward finally succeeded in hypnotizing Crystal to forget the incident when she turned nine years old, so they moved her out into the country with a trustworthy foster parent, where Crystal became the free- spirited girl living next to Neo.
But the hypnotism could only block out the painful memory for so long. And it wasn't until the night that the sentinel attacked her that the entire brutal incident came flooding back, filling her with guilt once again. Crystal was no longer the same person.
Crystal hadn't realized that she had sobbed her entire painful flashback out loud, and Neo looked at her with his gentle brown eyes, feeling sorry for the woman he loved. He tried to comfort her,
"It wasn't your fault that your mother died, Crystal, you have to come at peace with that! You were only five years old when it happened and just because you never had a parent who loved you doesn't mean anyone else can't love you too. I still love you, because it wasn't you that killed that your mother, it was the man with sunglasses. Come on, do you think you could give me a chance, the sure thing, instead of Peter, a program who might never become human?"
Crystal hesitated.