"I'm not wearing a hat. That's my hair, dummy," Spin Docta Deazzle replied.
"You can't hate his HAIR MarCO, it's JUST like DYlan's," Paincake added.
"Just because I have sex with him doesn't mean he's all that hot, Pagu. What are my other options? There's like three fagboys in all of Canada, and one of them is a waiter! I don't THINK so…" Marco said flamboyantly. He was so gay.
"Hey, kids," a gruff voice said. "Let's go."
The Degrassians all looked up at the giant yellow school bus. They were sure surprised!
"Bus Driver McHottiekins!" Ellie squealed. "What are YOU doing here?"
"Oh, I was just taking my 100% pure golden bus out for a spin when I remembered you kids here and decided to take you to Oregon now," he said in a moment of loquaciousness.
"But we just got to Idaho," Manny pouted.
Spinner jabbed Jimmy in the ribs. "She sure is da ho," he said.
"It's getting old, dude."
Spinner frowned. Everyone loved his jokes! Everyone! "Marco, take that stupid hat off," he said angrily. Marco sadly obliged.
"No one likes Idaho. That's why it has such a stupid name," Bus Driver Stu informed the kids. "So let's go."
"Hmm…makes sense," Toby said. "By my calculations I'd say this past five minutes we've spend in Idaho shows pretty much all you ever need to know aobut Idaho."
"Well, is Oregon any better?" Ashley asked her stepbrother. They were always fighting.
"They have trees. Come on," Bus Driver Stu said, annoyed. Ashley lowered her eyes. She sure didn't want to anger her secret thought-lover!
"I'm alternative," Ellie said, stepping on the bus.
"I'm alternative, tooooo!" Ashley whined.
"Yeah, but since I got on the bus first, I win at the alternative competition," Ellie called from the bus seat behind Bus Driver Sexyshoes.
"So that means if everyone gets on and I stay here, you are the loser regular gal Friday and I am Miss Unique USA…or, Canada, rather."
Everyone gasped. They weren't used to this kind of crazy malarkey!
Bus Driver Stu sighed. He knew this was a mistake. I mean, they all had zero body hair! Whatev, man. Whatev.
"Hey Ashley, Leatherface called, he wants his mask back," Ellie retorted.
"Uh, hello, 1994 called, they want their lame attempt at social stature back," Ashley fumed.
"Linkin Park called, they want you to kill yourself!"
"Good Charlotte called, they want their suckiness back," Ashley said.
"Ha! Like they could ever lose that," Ellie replied.
"Oh yeah…well..I SLEPT WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER." Gasps abound.
"Dude, just get on the bus," Spinner said.
"No, I'll walk," Ashley said. "I'm edgy that way!"
All the kids, sans Ashternative, got on the bus and drove away. Ashley began walking. Oregon or bust!