Hi lovely readers,
Thank you so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter. I'm so glad you all enjoyed it, it really means a lot.
This chapter was requested by a guest and I want to apologise for taking so long to write. I did however, love writing this one so I hope you all enjoy. Thank you so much for requesting.
Enjoy reading
Sheldon wheeled his large suitcase down the wide, unfamiliar hallway, it had been one of the longest flights of his life and now he just needed to rest. His eyes scanned the numbers on the apartment doors, they were all yellow gold and although he appreciated it, he wondered how people managed to keep them so shiny.
After what felt like forever, he finally found apartment 42, neatly tucked away in the corner. The numbers just as bold and shiny as everyone else's, he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, this journey was over and he was now approaching the place he would call home for the next three months. Routing around for the keys, he placed them in the lock and pushed the door open. Surprisingly, the apartment wasn't an all too dissimilar layout to his apartment back home; an open plan living and kitchen area and a small hallway leading you to the bathroom and bedroom. He wasn't a huge fan of the decor; black gloss work surfaces and kitchen appliances, a large black couch, which actually looked rather comfortable and a few interesting pieces of art work that he instantly took a dislike too but he could cope. The place was very clean and for now at least it was his.
Leaving his suitcase by the front door, he crashed on to the couch. The tiredness and jet lag were kicking in like crazy and he didn't have enough energy to make it to the bedroom. For now, this little resting place would be perfect. He checked the time on his phone and prepared to set an alarm, the last thing he wanted was to sleep forever and be late for his first class. The time baffled him but what captured his attention the most was his phone background, his wife and their baby daughter. The image made his heart swell with more love than he knew and caused his eyes grow glassy with tears. He didn't know how he was going to go this long without them.
It was just over a year ago when Sheldon was invited to be a visiting professor at Oxford University in England. Of course, back then he willingly and graciously accepted but neither he nor Amy were aware of just how much their lives were going to change. Just a few months later Amy discovered she was expecting their first child, they had been trying for a few months but both of them were in a state of shock by how quickly it had happened. Despite it being something he wanted, he was excited and terrified in equal measure.
Throughout the pregnancy he couldn't have been more in awe of Amy, more in love with what she was capable of and what her body was doing. Too impatient to wait, they discovered at twenty weeks that their little baby was in fact a girl and his love for this tiny human that he had never even met grew beyond belief. He was just as terrified when Amy went in labour, he was by her side the whole time, holding her hand and telling her everything was going to be okay, he wasn't sure he'd ever witnessed such strength and determination in someone before. He was actually rather proud of himself for remaining upright and not passing out. As soon as his little girl was born, his whole world stopped and everything shifted. Without any question, she now was the most important thing in his world, he was going to do anything and everything he could to keep her safe and to make sure she knew every single day how much she was loved. They named her Emily.
It killed him to know he was going away. He had told Amy numerous times that he didn't have to go, that he could just call and politely decline the invite but she had reminded him what an amazing opportunity this was, reminded him that this doesn't happen to people everyday and told him just how proud she was of him. He had of course argued back with how important it was to not miss the first few months of his daughters life, he had expressed concerns about how scared he was that she would forget him and that by the time he returned home to her he would just be a stranger. As always Amy had been kind and gentle, they had discussed at great length all the things they could do to ensure Emily didn't forget him and to make him feel like he was still part of it all. He had left feeling as okay as he could be about everything but made sure to squeeze them both that little bit tighter before he left.
Although he knew it would be hard, he knew Amy would be okay. She was already the most amazing mother, he felt extremely proud and lucky to be able to call her the mother of his children. Since they had had Emily, they were were lucky enough to have a number of people desperate to help them out. Leonard and Penny were just across the hall and they had made it clear that they would be more than happy to help out whenever they needed. In just a few short weeks, his mother would be flying over from Texas to spend some quality time with her newest little grandchild.
He took comfort in the fact that she wasn't alone but it still didn't ease the pain he felt. Missing your loved ones and not feeling quite whole was a horrible pain that once upon a time he would have told others he would never let himself feel. He would never fall in love so hard that it would physically hurt to be without them but then Amy and Emily had come along and blown his theory to pieces. For now at least, he had to let sleep consume him, he was exhausted and just needed to rest.
—
Amy couldn't sleep. Not because the baby was keeping her awake which she was sure would be the case later but because she was restless and just couldn't settle. She couldn't recall the last time she had spent a night on her own, it was a rarity that she knew would soon become the norm. Without Sheldon the bed felt empty and cold, she didn't think she would miss him so much so quickly. If anything she thought for the first few nights she would be grateful to have the bed to herself, to not have to deal with him constantly stealing the duvet or taking up most of the bed but all she felt was an emptiness.
Their baby was already just like her parents and a stickler for a routine, Amy knew within just under two hours, Emily would be awake again for another feed. She willed herself to sleep, knowing that if she didn't she would only feel worse for it in the morning. Rolling over into Sheldon's space of the bed, his scent still lingering on the sheets seemed a great comfort to her.
As she closed her eyes, she thought of her Sheldon in England. In an unfamiliar country with unfamiliar faces preparing for his very first day at his new job. It would be around 8am there now, she could picture him all suit and booted, standing at the front of class preparing to start his lecture. She wondered if he was nervous but then she quickly shook that thought from her head. When it came to his career, Sheldon Cooper was as confident as they came sometimes, a little too confident, over confident. She smiled at the thought.
As if on cue, just a few hours later, Amy awoke to the cries of her daughter. Before having a baby, she had been quite a deep sleeper, now it seemed that her body had become in tune with her baby and she found herself sometimes naturally waking up just minutes before Emily.
Eight weeks in and Amy knew the drill, she hauled herself up from the comfy confines of her bed and padded over to her little daughter who was crying in bassinet. Even though Amy knew it was something that could be solved quickly, she hated hearing her daughter in any form of distress. Watching her face all scrunched up and red and her little hands balled into fists broke her heart.
"Hey, hey, it's okay" Amy cooed as she gently scooped her up and held her close to her. She rocked slightly as she moved towards the bed. "Oh, I know, I know, you're just really hungry aren't you?" After getting comfortable in bed, she was ready to feed Emily. Only this time she didn't have her husband to talk to, she didn't have anyone to help her pass the time. It was only now that she was starting to realise how lonely this was all going to be. She stroked Emily's cheek as she suckled away, feeling the damp residue of her tears. "Oh we're going to miss your daddy so much" she sighed.
The first week had gone by slowly for both of them, Amy knew that the adjustment would take time but those first seven days had really taken their toll. Naively, Amy hadn't realised just how much Sheldon did for them both or how much she realised on him for emotional support even though she knew he was just a phone call away, it wasn't the same as having him right here next to her.
They had been FaceTiming one another everyday, partly because they needed this and secondly because Sheldon had to see Emily. He had to see those gorgeous dark blue eyes of hers and her cute button nose, he had to see how much she was growing and what she was up to. He would happily stare at her face for hours. He also needed her to know him, she needed to remember his face and his voice so that in a months time he didn't terrify her.
"Hi" Amy beamed as she answered the call and saw her husbands face flash up on the screen. The time difference made FaceTiming each other hard but they had set aside a set time that seemed to work well for both of them. It was crazy for them both to wrap their heads around, as her day had barely begun his was ending.
"Hello" Sheldon smiled back, sometimes he just needed to see her face and hear her voice. Often he didn't have all that much to tell her, he just needed the company.
"Look who's awake to see you" Amy turned the camera to face Emily who was laying on her little bean bag chair. It had been a gift from Penny and Leonard at her baby shower and honestly Amy would have been lost without it.
"She's awake" the excitement in Sheldon's voice was genuine and almost child like. He had only seen her awake once since leaving, their phone calls often fell when Emily was napping. Despite this, he always wanted to see her, watching her closely as she slept, watching her chest rise and fall and hearing her little breath through the phone. "Hi Emily" he smiled as Emily's eyes landed on the camera, studying the device and his face closely. "You're awake, it's so nice to see you awake."
Amy held the camera in place, leaving the two of them to it for a moment. She knew this was a big thing for Sheldon so would never begrudge him these moments although it did amaze her how long he could talk to their daughter for.
"Guess what we did last night?" Amy told him, moving so that she was sitting next to Emily, practically lying on the floor as she held the camera in the air. She didn't have the heart to turn him away from Emily.
"What?"
"I played her one of your stories" she watched as his face lit up. "It really seemed to settle her" Sheldon wondered if she was saying this to make him feel better but it really was the truth. Completely Sheldon's idea, he had taken it upon himself before leaving to send Amy various voice notes of himself reading Emily a bedtime story. Amy was none the wiser to his plan until one day she found herself asking him why she had around 30 voice notes from him. It was his little way of ensuring she heard his voice regularly and in that moment Amy almost felt compelled to give him another baby.
"It did?"
"Yeah honestly" Amy nodded. "She wasn't crying but she was really fussy after her feed last night so I thought I'd give it a try and it worked a treat" she smiled when she saw the expression on his face and realised just how much this meant to him. "You enjoyed daddy's stories, didn't you?" Emily seemed to kick her legs excitedly at the mention of one of her daddy's stories.
"Thank you Amy" he sounded extremely genuine and sincere and when Amy raised her head from their daughter to meet his gaze, she could have sworn his eyes were glassing over. He, of course, would never admit this, it would be the hazy connection or allergies but Amy could see that little glimmer of how much this all meant to him. To be honest, when she tried to imagine being in his position, being away from both him and their daughter it broke her heart so much she decided not to even go there.
"For what?"
"For just making sure she doesn't forget me"
—
Month 2
It was fair to say that Amy's second month without Sheldon had hit her hard, Emily was approaching four months and in terms of her sleep had seemed to regress to that of a newborn, leaving Amy questioning everything she thought she knew about motherhood and her own abilities.
"Come on baby, please go to sleep" Amy held her daughter close to her body as she moved around the dimly lit bedroom in a rocking motion. "Shush shush, it's okay, it's okay" she rocked gently. It amazed her how she was managing to keep so calm, it felt like forever since she had last slept and everything in her was slowly building up until she couldn't cope anymore.
Tonight was that night. Feeling the tears welling at the corners of her eyes, she had never been more desperate in her life. All she wanted was for the cries to stop and for her daughter settle. She had no idea what was wrong with her, she had tried everything and was now starting to panic and worry that maybe something was wrong with her. Was she too hot or too cold? Was she sick? Was something hurting her and she couldn't tell her? That thought along caused Amy to cry even more.
As the hour ticked by, Emily had moments of dipping in and out being settled and screaming the place down. Amy was emotional and exhausted and by the time Emily finally fell asleep, Amy wasn't sure she had the energy to place her in her bassinet.
Somehow managing to crawl back in to the comfort of her bed, there was only one person Amy wanted to talk to, one face she needed to see. She reached for her phone and tapped out a text to her husband. It had just left 3.30am and she knew that Sheldon was due a lunch break sometime soon.
Amy: Can you talk?
Amy had barely had time to place her phone on the bedside table when it started to vibrate. Immediately, she picked up the phone and despite the tears, she smiled to herself when she saw it was Sheldon FaceTiming her.
"Hello" Sheldon answered however, his smile faltered when he saw Amy's face, dimly lit by the light in the room and tears on her face. He would never say this but she didn't look great, her eyes were tired and dark circled. "What's wrong?" he asked quickly.
"Sorry" Amy apologised wiping at her eyes. She could tell he was at work and had managed to find a quiet little place to call her. She felt guilty for interrupting his day. Did she really need to bother him just because she was having a rough ride?
"It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong?"
"Everything is just really hard" she sobbed. "I just needed to see you and talk to you" she was letting it all out now, just like she would if Sheldon was right here with her. She missed him so much.
"What happened?" Sheldon asked, trying his best to be calm even though every bone in his body was telling him to jump onto the next flight to California.
"She's just been so restless for hours, I've barely slept and I think she'll be awake again soon for another feed" she explained through her tears, being conscious of keeping her voice quiet, the last thing she needed was for Emily to wake up again.
The look on his face told Amy everything, it was sympathy mixed with guilt, this was one of the reasons why he didn't want go away in the first place. It wasn't fair to leave Amy alone, it wasn't fair to leave her to raise and take care of their daughter. They were a team, they always did things together.
"If she's sleeping, should you not be sleeping too?" that was one bit of advice they had been given by everyone when Amy was pregnant, when baby sleeps, you sleep.
"I guess so" she nodded, although she hated to admit it, he was right. "I just wanted to talk to you though. I'm sorry, I know you're busy…"
"You don't need to apologise Amy. If you need me, you call me" he never wanted her to feel guilty for needing him, he was her husband, he saw it as his role to be there whenever she needed him, no matter how far away he was.
"I just really miss you" her emotions surprised her, she was normally pretty calm and collected but right now everything was brimming very close to the edge, possibly even tipped over. She of course had missed Sheldon immensely but all of that was hitting her hard tonight.
"I miss you too. I'll be home really soon. I can still…"
"No, no you need to stay. Ignore me, ignore me, I'm just tired and being silly" she wiped at her eyes and attempted to pull herself together, she wasn't sure how her eyes were staying open.
"You're the most wonderful mother Amy" she felt herself biting her lip in an attempt to stop the tears, she didn't know that they were the words she needed to hear.
"Thank you" it came out as a whisper. "I love you"
"I love you too. Please get some sleep and I'll talk to you later okay"
"Okay" she nodded. She blew him a kiss and signed off. Being without him was hard but seeing him on that little screen for now would be enough.
—
Month 3
Amy had been counting down the days since the moment he left. On that day, when he got on that flight to England this date felt so far away and now, now it was finally here. Suddenly she felt like a teenage girl, all giddy and excited and the prospect of meeting a boy. Only this boy was her husband and someone she had missed more than words can say.
"Guess who is home today Emily" Amy smiled as she laid her daughter down on the changing table and began to dress her for the day. She was always such a wriggly little thing, she didn't make it the easiest of jobs. "Daddy's home, your daddy's coming home today" Emily smiled and kicked her legs excitedly, making it even harder to dress her.
Amy could never be sure but she felt pretty sure that Emily already knew her daddy was coming home today. She had woken up in a fabulous mood and had been so happy and smiley over breakfast. Amy had been talking to her about it all week, Sheldon had been talking to her about it all week.
"He'll be home in just a few hours" Amy told her as she slipped her sock on and picked her up. "And I know he's missed you so much, he's going to be so happy to see you" she moved around the apartment with her, absolutely loving the smile that was on her daughters face.
It had been decided that Leonard would be the one to pick up Sheldon from the airport. Despite Amy being desperate to see him, with Emily, it was just easier that way. She couldn't wait and even though, like always she had thrown herself into doing everything with Emily; playing games, singing songs and reading books, she was constantly watching the clock, counting down the hours until her love was home.
It was the early afternoon when Emily was on her play mat and Amy was busing herself with tidying the apartment when the door suddenly creaked open. There he was, sending Amy's heart all a flutter. She wasn't sure why but he seemed different, taller maybe or just more handsome or maybe she had just forgotten what it was like to see him in the flesh.
A squeak left lips so high, she didn't even know it was a sound she could make. Abandoning the tidying up, she ran across the apartment and fell straight into his arms. She wasn't sure she had held anyone this tight nor could she recall a time anyone had held her this tightly. She wanted to remember everything about this moment, take in the feel of him as she squeezed him, take in his scent, the baby powder now faded and in its place the smell of airports and travelling, she didn't care though she would have this moment over and over again.
"I've missed you so much" she pulled away to look at him, those blue eyes staring back at her, the eyes she had missed so much. She grabbed his face with both her hands and began to pepper him with kisses, she never wanted to stop and he was surprisingly enjoying it. "I know I told you what an amazing opportunity this was but you're never leaving me again" she laughed as she threw her arms round him again.
Sheldon had never really had that sense of belonging, of course, he had his family back home in Texas and his friends in Pasadena but that feeling people talked about when they just knew they were home, he never really understood it until now. This little apartment could be anywhere in the world but as long as Amy and Emily were in it he was home, it was only now he realised how much this all meant to him and the feeling was rather overwhelming.
"I've missed you too. So much" he sighed deeply as he kissed the top of her head. There little moment was broken when they heard a squeal of excitement coming from Emily.
"I think someone wants to say hello" Amy laughed as she stepped aside and let Sheldon finally step in to the apartment. Amy would always remember this moment, she saw it as an honour that she got to be an observer. She knew Sheldon had been longing for this moment but also been slightly terrified at the prospect of Emily not remembering him. They really had done all they could to prevent such a thing.
"Hello" Sheldon knelt down tentatively, holding his breath as he prepared for Emily to cry. "Hi" he reached for her hand, giving in a gentle stroke. "You're so big now, I can't believe how much you've grown," seeing her over FaceTime hadn't quite done justice to how much she had grown, she was no longer this tiny little thing and it hurt to know he had missed so much.
Emily was cautious, her blue eyes that matched her fathers so much studied him, the look on her face was one of pure confusion. If the situation had been different Amy would have probably laughed because of how funny she looked but in an instant all was changed when her eyes softened and she suddenly smiled. A huge beaming smile spread across their little girls face as she kicked her legs and moved her arms excitedly, her daddy was home and she definitely knew.
"Hello" Amy was sure Sheldon was going to cry as he bend down to scoop her up, he held her close to him, cuddling her tightly, he was never ever letting go and he was never leaving them again.
Thank you so much for reading! As always your reviews are always appreciated and so welcome, I love hearing your thoughts.
Stay safe
Lots of love