Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: You know, if you keep making Emmess piss me off, we're never going to end up in bed. Me: What makes you think Emmess is going to end up in bed with you? Legolas: The heroine always ends up in bed with me. Me: There's that ego again. I have news for you...maybe I'll have her go to bed with Gimli! Legolas: Ewww! Get that picture out of my head right now! Gimli: I'm too sexy for my shirt...too sexy for my shirt...
Chapter 5Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Legolas slammed the door to his private quarters shut, and stood panting in the middle of the room.
"She is exasperating! Completely, absolutely, positively exasperating! Princey, indeed! I've never been addressed so crudely...not even by Gimli! Imagine, poking me! Raising her voice! Right in the middle of the Great Hall, no less! Maddening!"
Not caring that he was ranting to an empty room, Legolas began to pace. "I should bring her right back to forest now! Let the wild wargs deal with her! Although that might not be fair to the wargs!"
"I don't suppose you might consider that you're overreacting - just a tad, would you?" asked a voice.
Legolas stopped pacing, looking around the room for the source of the voice.
"Over here..."
Legolas looked toward his dressing table, and saw Manwe's face in the reflecting glass that hung over it.
"YOU!" Legolas cried, marching up to the mirror. "This is all YOUR fault! If you hadn't decided to meddle in my affairs, that irritating, impulsive, foul mouthed shrew would never have set foot in Mirkwood!"
Manwe smirked at Legolas. "You like her."
Legolas stopped short in his raving, staring at Manwe. "Did you hear not a word of what I've said?"
"Yes, I heard it all. I doubt not that all of Arda has heard it, the way you were bellowing! But the fact of the matter is that you would not be so utterly beside yourself if she were just a maiden that you could toss casually aside, as you threaten. You like her. That's why she irritates you so much."
"You're mad...she poked me!"
"So what? You were being overbearing."
"I was not being overbearing! I was being...um..." Legolas paused for a moment, realizing exactly how he had behaved.
"I brought her into this world just this morning. She knows not a soul here, nor any of our customs. Not to mention that I put her in a different body than she's used to. She didn't ask for any of this, you know...that was your doing. All she wanted was an answer to a question...you're the one that made the wish. She's confused, and not a small bit frightened, I should think, and what do you do? Pull a royal hissy fit the moment you arrive at the Hall. I thought I explained all of this to you before. I told you that her world was different than ours...people act differently, dress differently...what part of all that didn't you understand?"
Legolas paled as he realized Manwe spoke the truth. It was all his fault. He sat at the dressing table, shoulders slumped, head in his hands.
"You know what you need to do, don't you? You need to march right back into the Hall, and apologize. Not privately, mind you! Right now the Elves are ready to use her as a human pincushion. They need to know you were wrong, too."
"She'll never forgive me...I embarrassed her in front of the entire Hall."
"Give her a chance - she may surprise you."
"Oh, I doubt not that she'll surprise me...she manages to do that every time she opens her mouth," Legolas said sardonically, standing up. He took a deep breath, knowing this wasn't going to be easy, and turned to leave the room.
"Remember, it was your wish...Princey."
Spinning back around, Legolas opened his mouth to let Manwe have it, but the reflecting glass was empty. Manwe's laughter faded away, leaving Legolas alone.
I had just finished tucking the twins back in bed. Gimli had stood politely in front of me shielding me from the view the rest of the Hall as I wrestled them back in. Finally having made myself "G" rated again, I stood, and placed my hand on Gimli's shoulder.
'Thank you, Gimli. I'm really not used to these things, yet."
"Understandable, Lassie, " he laughed, finishing off his turkey leg. He took a deep draught of his ale, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Would ye care for an ale, Lass? Might settle yer nerves..."
"No, thanks, Gimli. I'm going back to the forest to try to find Manwe. I have to get him to send me back..."
"Ye won't find him in the forest, Lass," Gimli said, grabbing hold of my sleeve. "The forest is a dangerous place...it's full of wild animals that would love to have ye as a snack."
"It's better than staying here," I shot back, eyeing the distrustful looks on the faces of the Elves all around me. "If I stay here one more minute, these Elves are going to string me up!"
"Bah! Pay them no nevermind! It'll work out, Lassie...you'll see. He's really not a bad sort, ye know. He'll come around..."
"What makes you think I want him to 'come around?'" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "He's an insufferable, pigheaded, egotistical jackass who wouldn't know good manners if they came up and bit him on the ass!"
"I suppose I deserve that..."
I spun around to find myself face to face with Legolas. He stood looking at me with those blue, blue eyes in that angelic face, and I suddenly didn't know whether I wanted to hug him or knee him in the groin.
"I owe you an apology, Emmess," he began, executing one of those graceful bows that I said I disliked, but secretly adored. "There is no excuse for my behavior...I was insufferable, pigheaded, and...what else did you call me?"
"An egotistical jackass," Gimli put in grinning, obviously enjoying Legolas' discomfort immensely.
"Thank you," he said, throwing Gimli a snide look. "An egotistical jackass. I realize now exactly how much you have gone through today...no one can be expected to adjust to such a radical change so quickly! I should have been much more patient with you...will you please forgive me?" He continued, taking my hand in his.
"Patient with me?" I exploded, snatching my hand back. "That implies that I was wrong! I didn't do anything wrong, pal...you were the one who got all pissy, and tried ordering me around! I don't live here...I'm a guest, remember! I'm not one of your subjects who'll grovel whenever you snap your fin..."
"Emmess..." Legolas interrupted, putting a finger to my lips, "You are right. It was all my fault, and I am sorry. Please forgive me."
Those heavenly blue eyes sucked me right in.
Damn him.
"I suppose so, since you asked nicely..." I replied, unable to tear my eyes away from his. "Argh! Who is this person that's taken over my mouth?" I thought, disgusted with myself. "I'm acting like a teenaged bimbo...can't...stop...staring...ARGH!" With a supreme effort of will, I tore my attention from Legolas and looked at Gimli, who was still standing next to us, smirking.
"Gimli and I are alright, now, aren't we?" I asked Gimli, desperately seeking a distraction from the tall Elf.
"Aye, Lassie, aye. We be fine now...Laddie," he asked, tapping the Elf on the arm to get his attention, "Laddie...LEGOLAS!"
Legolas tore his eyes away from me and looked down at his friend.
Gimli sighed, shaking his head, saying under his breath "This is going to be a long night." Speaking up once more, he said, "The hour for the party draws near...shouldn't ye be showing Emmess to her room so that she can ready herself? You also need to be getting dressed, don't ye?"
"Aye, Gimli, and thank you for caring for Emmess while I was...um...indisposed."
"Indisposed! Ha! That's a good one, Laddie. You mean while you were throwing a tantrum, don't ye?"
"Let us not go there again, Master Dwarf," Legolas frowned. He turned to me and offered me his arm. "Emmess, please allow me to show you to your room."
I took his arm, and we walked up a nearby flight of stairs to the second level of the atrium. Stopping in front of one of the doors, he opened it and said, "I trust you'll find everything you need in here, Emmess."
I peeked inside the room, and spotted a female Elf standing quietly just within the door.
"This room seems to be already taken," I said softly, nodding toward the girl. "I don't mind sharing, though."
"This is Adranial...your handmaiden. She'll assist you in getting ready for dinner," Legolas smiled, urging me into the room.
"She's my what? I don't need a handmaiden...that's ridiculous! I haven't needed help getting dressed since I was five!" I said, refusing to budge.
"Can you not ever just do what you're told?" he asked, frowning. "Besides, it appears to me that you have had trouble staying dressed all day!"
"You're doing it again...you're being insufferable! Pigheaded! An egotistical jackass...shall I go on? I do not need help!"
"Emmess...you'll hurt her feelings! It is an honor to be chosen to assist a guest in their bath," Legolas whispered, trying a different tact and holding on to my arm to prevent me from leaving.
I looked at the Elf standing in the room, and noticed that she did, indeed, look disheartened by my callous remarks. I might be a mouthy broad, but I had never been purposely unkind.
"I'm sorry, Adranial...I'm just not used to your customs here. I'd be pleased if you could help me," I said, rewarded with a small smile from the handmaiden. I entered the room, closing the door behind me without a single backward glance at Legolas. "Let him stew for awhile," I thought. I heard him sputtering behind the closed door, and smiled to myself.