Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Gimli: So, in what chapter will Emmess and I get to do the funky monkey? Me: Dwarf, you are a disgusting little man. Gimli: You told Lego that the heroine was going to go to bed with me! Me: I lied. Gimli: That is so not fair! It's been about 3,000 years since I've gotten any. Dwarves need love too, you know! Me: Stop humping my computer, Dwarf.

Chapter 6

Great Expectations

Standing in the middle of the spacious room, I looked around trying to familiarize myself with its contents. The walls were a creamy white stone, which rose to meet a high ceiling. The floors were the same stone, and scattered with rag rugs of brilliant color. A large, soft looking bed stood in the center of the room, fluffed with white sheets and dozens of pillows. A large, intricately carved armoire of some rosy hued wood was placed against one of the walls, and a small dressing table with a shiny, mirror-like plaque above it was placed along another. Along the far right wall was another doorway, which I assumed to be the bathroom. I was pretty certain that indoor plumbing had not made its way here yet, and cringed inwardly at the thought of having to use a chamber pot.

Flowers and plants in many different shades and sizes were sprinkled about the room in pots, vases, and baskets, scenting the air with a delicate perfume. Lit by a dozen or more softly glowing oil lamps, the room was bathed in a warm, amber luster.

"Well, it sure beats Motel Six," I said, nearly overwhelmed by the beauty of the room.

"Milady?" Adranial asked, "Shall I prepare your bath?"

"Ummm, a bath! That sounds wonderful, Adranial. Thank you," I answered, smiling at both the thought of getting clean, and the handmaiden.

While she hurried into the other room to get the bath ready, I sat myself down at the dressing table. Looking into the black onyx stone that hung above it, I was surprised to see my reflection looking back at me as clearly as if it had been a mirror. My breath caught in my throat at the face looking back at me. It was the first time I had seen the face Manwe had stuck on me this morning.

The girl in the mirror's face was heart shaped, with smooth pale skin. She had large, almond-shaped eyes of a vivid green, framed by lush black lashes and smooth brows. Her cheekbones were high and softly rounded, her nose small and turned up a bit at the end. Full lips parted to reveal even white teeth. A great mane of black silky hair tumbled about her shoulders. Cautiously, I pulled the hair back to reveal my ears. Whew. At least I was still human. All in all, I had to admit Manwe had done pretty well.

Yeah, suck wind, Jennifer Aniston.

As I stared into the mirror, the reflection began to waver. A moment later, a familiar bearded face was staring back at me.

'YOU!" I cried, nearly jumping out of my skin. "Manwe, where have you been what did you do to me do you have any idea what I've gone through today why the hell did you send me here?" The questions rolled off my tongue in one long ramble, and I paused only to gather another breath.

"SILENCE!" he roared, stunning me into just that. "For the love of Eru, will you just shut up for one moment? Thank you. First, you are here for a purpose. I will not tell you that purpose, because that's not how the Valar operate. Second, I hooked you up with freaking royalty, and you're complaining? Third, in case you haven't noticed, I also put you in a gorgeous body, so don't knock it. Lastly, just make the best of the situation, because I'm not sending you anywhere yet."

"But...but..."

"Don't 'but' me! You were not content as you were, so you'd better damn well be content now! At least act content...your complaining is giving me a headache!"

The mirror wavered again, and Manwe was gone. Again. Without answering a single question. I was beginning to suspect that he was up to something.

"Milady..." Adranial called softly from the doorway. "Um, if you're done...your bath is ready."

"Did you see the guy in the mirror, Adranial? You heard him right? He didn't answer a single one of my questions! Freaking obstinate reflection! What is it with men in this world and stubbornness?"

"I saw no one, Milady...but I was drawing your bath...I'm sure you saw him," she answered, obviously thinking I was one egg short of a dozen. "Your bath is ready..."

"Thanks, Adranial." No use getting into details with her...she already probably thought I was nuts. I sighed and heaved myself up following her into the bathroom where a huge, claw-footed tub awaited me, steaming and fragrant.

I have to admit that the bath was wonderful. I almost felt like a new person afterward. Of course, I looked like a new person, so that was probably right. Adranial wrapped me in a lovely silk dressing robe and led me to the table, where she proceeded to fuss with my hair. Normally, my hair was kept short and fuss-free, mostly because I could barely manage tying a ponytail. I was grateful to have someone else deal with the mop Manwe had stuck to my head. Fascinated, I watched in the reflecting mirror as Adranial quickly combed, parted, and braided the front half of my hair, so that it kept away from my face, but left the back hanging free. She expertly entwined brightly colored ribbons and small flowers in the braids.

I smiled at my reflection when she finished. 'That is so beautiful, Adranial...I could never do that!" I said truthfully.

She looked pleased at my small compliment, smiling, and turned away to the armoire. Opening it, she ran her hand over the dozen or so garments hanging there. She selected a lovely emerald green silk gown, with white lace inserts and trim.

"Um, Adranial...I've been having a slight problem with dresses, today. It seems that my...um...assets keep trying to jump out of the bodice."

"Female Elves are usually not so well endowed, Milady," Adranial said, humor twinkling in her eyes. "But I am sure I can adjust this gown to suit you."

A short while later, I was pleasantly surprised to see that everything actually fit quite well. My boobs would probably still be the first thing anyone noticed about me, but I felt reasonably confident that they would stay where they should.

A knock came at the bedroom door. Adranial opened the door to find Legolas waiting.

He nodded at Adranial, and entered the room, immediately coming to stand before me. He was breathtaking, pure and simple. Dressed in a silver tunic and matching leggings, his mithril crown upon his satiny platinum hair, those soulful blue eyes...damn, he was doing it again!

'You look exquisite, Emmess," he began, taking my hand in his.

"You look nice yourself, Your Highness," I replied, deliberately putting the emphasis on the 'your highness' part to tick him off. I was not about to let him suck me in again. I was determined not to become some babbling hormone, like I did that afternoon.

"We should go...they are waiting for us to begin dinner," he said, seeming not to notice my jibe at his title. He offered me his arm, and walked me out of the room. I paused to thank Adranial again for her help.

Leading me to the balcony that overlooked the Great Hall, I stopped, amazed at the transformation that had taken place while I was in the bedroom. Nearly the entire hall had been set with tables and chairs, with a large area kept clear in the center - most likely as a dance floor. Each table was full with what I could assume to be the dignitaries Legolas had mentioned earlier. There were easily five hundred people in attendance. Music filled the air, and I spotted a quartet of musicians in a corner of the room, playing mandolins and flutes.

Legolas led me down the stairs, where we paused. To my surprise, the music stopped, and an Elf formally announced us to the room.

"His Highness, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, and the Lady Emmess," he called in a loud, clear voice.

Mortified, I allowed Legolas to lead me up the center of the room, while people all around us bowed and curtsied as we passed.

"I know they're showing their respect for your title," I whispered to Legolas, "but this is so embarrassing! Why didn't you warn me?"

"I really just didn't think of it, Emmess...this happens to me at every state function...sorry," he said, a small smile on his lips. He knew damn well that this was going to make me uncomfortable, and was enjoying every minute of it!

"Oh, and Emmess...when you are introduced to my father, the King, you really do need to curtsy," he whispered into my ear, brushing his lips against it. I took a deep breath and battled my hormones for a moment before answering.

"I don't know HOW to curtsy!" I hissed, embarrassed to admit it. "If you had told me earlier, I might have been able to have Adranial teach me...now I'll just make a fool of myself!"

'You'll be fine...just do what these other ladies are doing all around you," he said.

"I am really going to have to put a serious hurt on you when I get you alone, Legolas."

He merely chuckled, then tried to look serious as we approached the head table.

I knew his father immediately, and not just from the royal robes and crown. He was an older version of Legolas, right down to the intense blue eyes.

"Father, may I present the Lady Emmess," he began, taking hold of my elbow. "Lady Emmess, may I present His Majesty, King Thranduil of Mirkwood."

I took a deep breath, and dipped down into what I hoped would pass for a respectful curtsy. I realized that Legolas was holding on to my elbow so that I wouldn't tumble over. I made a mental note to thank him before I pummeled him later.

"Lovely, just lovely. Welcome to Mirkwood, Lady Emmess...I have heard much about you already," Thranduil said as I rose up from my sad attempt at a curtsy. "I have been told that you have been...er...keeping my son on his toes, today. Called him insufferable and pigheaded, I believe."

What do you say to a King who tells you that he knows you've been giving his son a hard time? I couldn't think of a blasted thing, but I know I turned absolutely scarlet. I wondered briefly whether they had yet invented the iron maiden or the rack.

"Thranduil...stop embarrassing the young lady! You should be ashamed," came a voice from next to Thranduil.

"I meant no harm, Gandalf. I'm sure the young lady knows this...we all know what my son can be like. I've called him that a few times myself!"

It was Legolas' turn to blush.

"Lady Emmess, may I present Gandalf, the White Wizard. Gandalf, the Lady Emmess."

I looked gratefully at the elderly wizard, resplendent in his gleaming white robes, and kind smile. "I'm most pleased to meet you, my dear. Manwe had told me much about you."

"Manwe? Do you know him? Can you please tell me..." I began, but was cut off by Legolas. I promised myself that I would find a way to speak with the wizard later.

"Emmess, please meet Elrond, Lord of Rivendell."

I was caught up in innumerable introductions. I recognized many of the names from the Lord of the Rings books and movies. Frodo, Samwise, Peregrin, Meriadoc, Aragorn, Arwen, Faramir, Eowyn...the list went on and on.

Legolas finally led me to a seat at the head table. As the food was brought out, I realized that I hadn't eaten at all that day, and was positively starving. The wizard, and my questions, would have to wait until after dinner.