DISCLAIMER: Harry? Not mine. Hermione? Not mine. Ron? Not mine. Snape? Not
mine. Malfoy? Not mine. Hogsmead? Not mine. Simple Plan? Not mine.Clicker
Shooter Snapper Video Recorder 5000? Mine.
"POTTER!! Detention!! 6 pm!! Tonight!! Be there!!" Snape shouted at Harry.
"I'm terribly sorry Professor!" Harry exclaimed. "It's just that we thought it might be important to shoot some shots of Ron looking sexy while concocting a potion!! I mean after all we ARE making a documentary on life at Hogwarts."
"Yes!" exclaimed Ron. "It's a called "The Saga of Sex-ay-ness: the Ron Weasley Story."
"HarryCam," corrected Harry.
"I suggest you call it 'Life in Detention'! BECAUSE YOU HAVE DETENTION!! Both of you!" Snape yelled.
"Now, really Professor," Hermione said. "This is actually an important film. You see there are many values and what-nots that are very beneficial to the whole school."
"I DON'T CARE!!" Snape screamed. "I will see all three of you after school for detention!! Now class is OVER!!"
Later that night, at 6 if you really want to know, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to the potions classroom for detention.
"May-bay! I'm just not good enough for yoooou!" Ron sang. "And may-bay! I just don't wanna be like yoooou!!"
"What is that you're singing?" Hermione asked.
"Simple Plan," replied Ron very matter-of-factly.
"Simple Plan?" Harry said. "Never heard of them."
"You haven't?" Ron said. "Simple Plan is the new pink."
"I see."
For two hours Snape made the trio clean cauldrons, and beakers, and test- tubes –OH MY! Then he went to a teacher meeting, leaving them down there all by themselves.
"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ron said.
"Probably not—"
"Well this is what I'm thinking," Ron began. "I'm thinking that we should change the name of the film to something different, more sophisticated."
"I like the name," Harry said.
"You're right," Ron said, "'RonWeasley=Hottness Squared' is a great title, but I was thinking more along the lines of 'What's in a name? For what we call a Ron, by any other name, would be just as hot'. What do you think?"
"Whatever," Hermione said. "I think we should look for that wig that Snape bought."
"Good plan!" exclaimed Harry.
"Simple Plan," corrected Ron. Then he broke into song again. "Maybe I just don't wanna know! How low you're ready to go! I'm not gonna change you can't maaaaake me!! whoa!!"
So they sneakily snuck into Snape's office. What sneaky snuckers, those snucking sneakers were. Sneaking so snuckily into Snape's office. They really snuck in a sneakishly manner. Some sneaky sneaking? I think so.
No matter where they looked they just couldn't find the wig! But then Harry found something on Snape's desk.
"What's this?!" exclaimed Hermione.
"GASP!" gasped Ron. "I think it's.... A DESK!!"
"A desk!?" exclaimed Harry. "Amazing!"
"Not the desk, the piece of paper on top of the desk," said Hermione.
"The bills?" Ron said. "That's not weird. In fact, almost everybody gets bills."
"I think that was the smartest thing he ever said," Harry said to Hermione.
Hermione nodded. "Not the bills, that flyer!!" she pointed at a flyer on the desk.
On the desk there was a bright pink flyer and it advertised a lot of weird stuff... yes.
"I'll read it outloud!!" exclaimed Hermione. "Ahem! Toadpimple Bar: Live Women Impersonators EVERY TUESDAY!"
"GASP!" Ron said. "There's a place called Toadpimples? THEY ARE MAKING A MOCKARY OF HOGWARTS!!"
"How's that?" Harry said.
Ron stared at him. "Hog. Toad. Warts. Pimples. DO YOU NOT SEE THE CONNECTION!?"
Hermione shrugged.
"In a way, he's being kind of... smart!" Harry said.
"Hey look, on the paper there's some stuff written on it!" Ron said. "It's says: 'next Tuesday, 10 o'clock. Remember you put the wig in the bottom drawer of your desk.' I THINK SNAPE IS GONNA GO THERE!! AND WEAR HIS WIG!!"
"And wear his wig? That means...." Harry said.
"HE'S GONNA DRESS IN DRAG!!" exclaimed Hermione.
"We HAVE to go to this," Harry said. "Imagine getting THAT on camera!!"
"Speaking of on camera..." Ron said. "I haven't been on it since Snape gave us detention. What do you say? A few detention shots?"
"Oh yeah."
So they filmed Ron looking hot in the detention room. It was a good time. But then Ron accidentally ran into the wall and he realized that he had a bruise.
"I GOT THIS BRUISE FROM YOU HERMIONE!!" Ron shrieked. "I forgot, you beat me up!! Now I'm mad at you!!"
Harry thought about that for a moment. "I'm mad at you then Ron!! Because you choked me!!"
"Fair enough!"
"And I'm mad at you Harry because you filmed me!" Hermione exclaimed.
"OK!"
"OK!"
"FINE!"
And so then detention was over and they all walked to the common room together but they didn't talk to each other on account of the feuding.
"POTTER!! Detention!! 6 pm!! Tonight!! Be there!!" Snape shouted at Harry.
"I'm terribly sorry Professor!" Harry exclaimed. "It's just that we thought it might be important to shoot some shots of Ron looking sexy while concocting a potion!! I mean after all we ARE making a documentary on life at Hogwarts."
"Yes!" exclaimed Ron. "It's a called "The Saga of Sex-ay-ness: the Ron Weasley Story."
"HarryCam," corrected Harry.
"I suggest you call it 'Life in Detention'! BECAUSE YOU HAVE DETENTION!! Both of you!" Snape yelled.
"Now, really Professor," Hermione said. "This is actually an important film. You see there are many values and what-nots that are very beneficial to the whole school."
"I DON'T CARE!!" Snape screamed. "I will see all three of you after school for detention!! Now class is OVER!!"
Later that night, at 6 if you really want to know, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to the potions classroom for detention.
"May-bay! I'm just not good enough for yoooou!" Ron sang. "And may-bay! I just don't wanna be like yoooou!!"
"What is that you're singing?" Hermione asked.
"Simple Plan," replied Ron very matter-of-factly.
"Simple Plan?" Harry said. "Never heard of them."
"You haven't?" Ron said. "Simple Plan is the new pink."
"I see."
For two hours Snape made the trio clean cauldrons, and beakers, and test- tubes –OH MY! Then he went to a teacher meeting, leaving them down there all by themselves.
"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ron said.
"Probably not—"
"Well this is what I'm thinking," Ron began. "I'm thinking that we should change the name of the film to something different, more sophisticated."
"I like the name," Harry said.
"You're right," Ron said, "'RonWeasley=Hottness Squared' is a great title, but I was thinking more along the lines of 'What's in a name? For what we call a Ron, by any other name, would be just as hot'. What do you think?"
"Whatever," Hermione said. "I think we should look for that wig that Snape bought."
"Good plan!" exclaimed Harry.
"Simple Plan," corrected Ron. Then he broke into song again. "Maybe I just don't wanna know! How low you're ready to go! I'm not gonna change you can't maaaaake me!! whoa!!"
So they sneakily snuck into Snape's office. What sneaky snuckers, those snucking sneakers were. Sneaking so snuckily into Snape's office. They really snuck in a sneakishly manner. Some sneaky sneaking? I think so.
No matter where they looked they just couldn't find the wig! But then Harry found something on Snape's desk.
"What's this?!" exclaimed Hermione.
"GASP!" gasped Ron. "I think it's.... A DESK!!"
"A desk!?" exclaimed Harry. "Amazing!"
"Not the desk, the piece of paper on top of the desk," said Hermione.
"The bills?" Ron said. "That's not weird. In fact, almost everybody gets bills."
"I think that was the smartest thing he ever said," Harry said to Hermione.
Hermione nodded. "Not the bills, that flyer!!" she pointed at a flyer on the desk.
On the desk there was a bright pink flyer and it advertised a lot of weird stuff... yes.
"I'll read it outloud!!" exclaimed Hermione. "Ahem! Toadpimple Bar: Live Women Impersonators EVERY TUESDAY!"
"GASP!" Ron said. "There's a place called Toadpimples? THEY ARE MAKING A MOCKARY OF HOGWARTS!!"
"How's that?" Harry said.
Ron stared at him. "Hog. Toad. Warts. Pimples. DO YOU NOT SEE THE CONNECTION!?"
Hermione shrugged.
"In a way, he's being kind of... smart!" Harry said.
"Hey look, on the paper there's some stuff written on it!" Ron said. "It's says: 'next Tuesday, 10 o'clock. Remember you put the wig in the bottom drawer of your desk.' I THINK SNAPE IS GONNA GO THERE!! AND WEAR HIS WIG!!"
"And wear his wig? That means...." Harry said.
"HE'S GONNA DRESS IN DRAG!!" exclaimed Hermione.
"We HAVE to go to this," Harry said. "Imagine getting THAT on camera!!"
"Speaking of on camera..." Ron said. "I haven't been on it since Snape gave us detention. What do you say? A few detention shots?"
"Oh yeah."
So they filmed Ron looking hot in the detention room. It was a good time. But then Ron accidentally ran into the wall and he realized that he had a bruise.
"I GOT THIS BRUISE FROM YOU HERMIONE!!" Ron shrieked. "I forgot, you beat me up!! Now I'm mad at you!!"
Harry thought about that for a moment. "I'm mad at you then Ron!! Because you choked me!!"
"Fair enough!"
"And I'm mad at you Harry because you filmed me!" Hermione exclaimed.
"OK!"
"OK!"
"FINE!"
And so then detention was over and they all walked to the common room together but they didn't talk to each other on account of the feuding.