CHAPTER XVIII: FATHOM

I open my eyes to distorted darkness. Instead of floating in a directionless nothingness, a clear horizon separates the glossy black earth from the sky. Dots of white light riddle the murky heavens and cast ample light on the landscape but the land absorbs all light rather than displaying or reflecting it, giving off the illusion that the floor might be the sky instead. The world shifts in response to my thoughts so that the light-filled sky becomes the floor and the glossy earth becomes the sky. There's no sense of disorientation or nausea from the shift and the dots of light shine upwards as if they had always been this way.

The mass beneath my feet feels semi-solid and when I look down, the lights start to move in swirling patterns. Tendrils of darkness rise from the ground and crawl up my exposed legs but their touch is surprisingly gentle and sincere, urging me forward with soft pulls and pushes. Ignoring the fact that I'm completely naked, I take their hint and start walking forward, feeling the mass underfoot solidify so that my steps are on stable ground. A muffled cacophony of strange noises rises from the surroundings and shapes form on either side of me. Lights swim up the mass into the standing tendrils, mimicking multiple eyes watching me curiously. I smile and gently glide my hands over the smooth surfaces nearby, feeling their warm exteriors as the shapes vibrate and gibber in approval before sinking back into the mass underfoot.

The lights in front of me breach the surface of the ground and solidity into a silver, circular platform. The remaining dark organisms roll and wiggle along the silvery surface in anticipation. I gently take walk onto the platform and take a seat in the centre but as soon as I'm on the ground, a shard of magical glass grows from the ground in front of me. The internal light has a similar shade of darkness to the surrounding black mass, even containing the tiny motes of white light that dance within. Fractures and cracks snake across the glass shell with some areas coming apart completely. The fractures and cracks that are broken open are sealed by chaotic growths of blemished glass, the lights within a multitude of colours and hues. More parts of the glass bend and fracture as I watch, creating new gaps that spawn even more splinters of glass containing more chaotic clouds of colour.

I know my soul well enough. The creatures of darkness swirl around the platform in an impatient dance, silent and brooding as they try to approach the crystal but cannot touch nor draw near it. Doubt still riddles my mind about trusting such strange beings that I know so little about but as I watch the crystal continue to fracture and distort, I close my eyes and listen to the distant worbles of the depths. The assortment of warbles, hisses, and shrieks o become more coherent phrases, filtered through my mind into a fort I could understand. They chant the same line repeatedly, a new clarity washing away my doubts as I consider for the hundredth time what the shadows are. Release... release... release...

The magic aura protecting my soul drops at my will and the shadows leap with whooping cries onto the splintering soul. They glide rapidly across the shard's surface, violently breaking off the fracturing pieces of glass and devouring the light they contain with gaping maws. The shards themselves don't go down without a struggle, each soul fragment creating sharp edges to shred several shadows around them before beings from the inside out. But the struggle is clearly in the favour of the shadow creatures and their superior numbers. Slowly but surely, the lights captured within the darkness start to fade into the black masses. The voices of alternate selves scream at me in outrage, sadness, fear, and every emotion in between as they're devoured, but one voice rises above the rest. Its last words are in an even, firm tone that chills me with its truth and as I look over at the bright white light that had spoken, I start to feel uneasy at what their words entail. We were never free.

The entire ordeal lasts minutes, leaving gaping holes in the glass that bled magenta light and glass shards. The shadows crawl into the holes they made and squirm their way into the murky depths within, combining their mass with the one inside. The greater power within consumes their forms but even as they perish, the shadow beings continue to enter the soul. Hundreds are sacrificed in seconds, each death causing the dim magenta light within to break through the shadowy surface for only a moment.

I can already tell that their sacrifices won't be enough. I'm already rising to my feet and walking towards the soul in reply to the desperate attempts by the shadows. Tendrils of darkness spring from within the shard and latch onto my right hand, pulling it forward into the cold mass within the soul. I feel pain in my arm as the tendrils force their way under my skin and into my veins, the murk of the soul glowing with brighter magenta radiance as it consumes. The world starts to dim around me as whatever creature lives in my soul feeds upon dragon blood, my body feeling numb and heavy with each slowing heartbeat.

I stagger and fall backwards into a heap once the entity releases me, feeling the world slam back into clarity before hitting the ground with an echoing thud. I look at my right arm dumbly, the flesh mangled and the bones broken as if massive teeth had chewed up the appendage. I flip from my side onto my back and let my arms flop to my sides, feeling the blood generously flowing from my arm onto the platform. The shadow creatures scurry about once again, making a barrage of incomprehensible noise as they slide along my ruptured flesh. Before they can feed, they only stop in their clamouring when a mighty thud resonates through the ground. Rhythmic footfalls slowly grow in intensity until the light from the ground illuminates a large shape standing above me.

The primordial drake towers over me, no longer wounded or exhausted like the first time we met. Powerful legs and outstretched wings keep them aloft as they lower their massive head slightly to view me. Their gaze makes me feel uncomfortable because it holds that strange mix of understanding and pity. We stare at each other wordlessly for a long time, neither entity breaking eye contact for what feels like hours. I eventually reach up with my shaking right arm and touch their chin, holding my hand in place as I feel their powerful breaths vibrating my sundered arm. I whisper weakly to them, "You knew I couldn't accept your power without consequences... part of me knew as well... but I tried anyway... being as hard-headed as I am... it was the least I could do..."

I blink and the landscape changes, making me slightly nauseous. Out of reflex, I glance around rapidly to reorient myself and am greeted by the dead forest safe space that I thought was already lost. I look up and find the drake standing in the same position as if in defiance of the scenery, still staring at me with that same mixture of emotions. The shadow creatures start to glide around us in swirling patterns, warbling and chirping in what sounds like joy as they swim across the trees and the earth in alien celebration. The drake moves slightly to the right before slowly laying down on its stomach next to me, keeping me in view as my hands return to my sides. Though I had experienced their presence before, it's far more frightening to witness in the flesh than as a spirit.

There are subtle instructions given by their body movements, a slow blink and a slight leaning of their head towards me. I obey the silent instructions without knowing what's communicated, rising to my feet with more stability than expected. I instinctively look down at my limbs as I feel my skin start to shift, feeling my muscles tense and relax. Broken flesh and bones reorient themselves painfully and dark brown scales grow over the pale skin to coat the upper half once again. I nod my head in grim understanding, allowing the change to occur without resistance until the process is complete.

"Awaken," the drake growls in a grave voice, their command banishing the landscape around me before I can understand anything else.

I complete my latest fall, hitting the carpeted floor of Shalltear's manor with a light thud. The pain of burnt muscles and charred bones from earlier magic use returns but I ignore the pain and push myself off the ground. It takes a few attempts to get my limbs to obey but I eventually manage to move unsteadily to my knees. Bodily damage starts to mend from my chest outwards and the upper part of my skin shifts with the sudden increase in magic flowing through my flesh. Although it feels like I'm burning on the inside, the pain is far less than anticipated. I pull my left sleeve away and watch dark brown scales coat the upper half of my arm, grimacing as I feel the change travel along my back and legs.

Something feels off immediately and I slowly glance around to witness all of the vampire brides stop in their tasks and turn to look at me. One of them is holding Shalltear in her arms but turns around so that her master can stare at me. Shalltear has a cold smile on her face, the sight more terrifying than any honest anger. She asks me in a calm but threatening tone, "What did you just do?"

"I don't... know," I reply timidly, still confused at what happened and how it happened so quickly. Shalltear glides out of her servant's grip but staggers towards me, favouring her left side a little too much. I drop to a knee and unbutton the top buttons of my shirt, pulling the material of my collar enough to reveal my right shoulder. My head tilts to the left as she grabs my shoulders and bites into the meat presented, sucking the vital life force she needs from me with her usual lack of restraint or etiquette.

There's no feeling of exhaustion or fatigue, no sense of pain. I look over at her wonder if she's still feeding and find her leaving a bloody mess on herself and my shoulder. She keeps feeding recklessly until she approaches the moment I knew would come, her mouth moving away from my shoulder as she gags. She tries to hold it in but starts coughing out some of the blood she just consumed, making a mess all over my coat and the floor before staggering away. I'm already moving as she starts to topple over from overconsumption, moving quickly enough to catch her fall and lay her gently on the ground.

I slowly turn her onto her side with practised motions so she can cough out her recent meal onto the recently cleaned carpet and wooden flooring. There's an awkward exchange as I remain silent and avert my gaze from her until she slowly regains her composure. One of her servants enters my view with a wet towel and crouches down, trying to wipe off the face of her master but being pushed away. Shalltear rises from the ground and shoves everyone away from her, waltzing away on her own as she spits another glob of blood unceremoniously onto the carpeted floor. The servants resume their work once she starts to climb the grand staircase, quickly cleaning up the gruesome mess that their master left behind.

My body tenses slightly when two brides approach me and lift my arms upright, pulling off my bloody undershirt and overcoat. They replace the undershirt with a fresh one and return to their duties wordlessly as another bride lifts me effortlessly off my feet. I politely decline and get out of their hold, surprised that the vampire bride obeys anything that I say. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I hear a familiar warbling and look down at the shadows coming to life underfoot. They try to wrap around my ankles but I gently step out of their grasp, saying to them as I walk away, "I can still walk. That won't be necessary."

Their disappointment is palpable but they obey my command and retreat into my shadow. I shake my head when they keep making noise from my shadow, stopping in place to say with amusement, "Alright, you win."

The shadows rapidly climb up my legs and drag me into their realm, their forms swirling around me in a frenzy of shifting shapes. I know where they want to take me and attempt to take me there against my will but I redirect them with a thought, feeling the mass reluctantly change course. I listen to them jibber and whisper but can't make out much before light appears in the darkness, the shadows shoving me towards the light at an accelerated pace. I'm expelled to my intended destination at speed, landing on my feet as the shadows retreat into their realm.

I have fractions of a second to notice Aura releasing the arrow she has notched in my direction. My right arm rises in front of my face out of instinct as a bright magic arrow flies at me with blinding speed. I brace for impact but the arrow arcs away from me and over my right shoulder, impacting something behind me with a sharp bark of magic discharge. Wooden and cloth debris slap my back lightly but as the sudden hurricane of detritus settles onto the ground, I smile and say to her, "Nice shot."

"The arrows seek a designated target... but you already know that..." Aura states as she drops her bow into her inventory. Her movements are precise and almost stiff as she walks forward and brushes off my shoulders with her hands. She gives me a long stare and moves her hands across the brown scales on my face, captivated in a way that I haven't seen in a while.

I gently remove her hands from my face and move my arms over her shoulders, bringing her into a hug that she mirrors in kind. Her body is rigid and I start to rub her back hoping to help her relax. She barely starts to relax when she whispers, "Am I not enough...?"

"Quite the opposite. At times, it feels like you're too much to handle," I whisper in reply. I can feel her anger starting to rise but I remain calm and keep rubbing her back. With no fear or resistance to grapple onto, her anger dies like a flame without a fuel source. She takes a long time to reply tensely, "And why is that? What makes me harder to handle than Shalltear?-"

"Stop comparing yourself to her," I cut in, tensing when her anger finally ignites. She lets go of me and gently shoves me away, staring daggers into my eyes as she snaps, "Why!? She's the one that won you over first! If I want to do the same, why shouldn't I follow her example!?"

"Because you aren't her. You will never be like her," I answer coldly to her. Aura crosses the distance between us in a heartbeat but I raise my left hand, catching the fist she throws at my face. She groans angrily as she tries to push the blow but I hold it firmly in place, staring at her with a neutral expression. My expression softens when I notice the tears on her face but before I can say anything, she pulls her fist out of my grip and shouts at me, "Go away! You don't have to taunt me with what I'm not! I know that what we had was a temporary thing so just leave me alone!"

I cross the distance she made and she throws the opposite fist at my face. I catch it with my other hand but close my fingers around her fist. She tries to yank her fist out of my grip but I hold it firmly in place. Even as she tries to hit me with her other fist in a frenzy of wild blows that I block with my free hand, I start to channel energy from my third lung into the magic channels across my body. The muscles sting where the magic channels come alive but the pain only incentivises me to make the spell quick. Glowing magenta radiance flows from my torso down my right arm towards my hand and Aura becomes shocked at the development. She stops trying to hit me as she asks in bewilderment, "How? You don't hold the Emerald Tablet inside of you anymore. How can you still muster its power?"

The spell finishes and I let go of her fist. Aura takes a step back and looks down at her hand in confusion, turning it over several times. Nothing is visibly different but her thumb touches the base of her ring finger and in a moment of comprehension, she removes her glove. Immediately, her other hand goes to her mouth when she sees the elaborately carved white ring on her finger, her eyes darting to me as I say with a smile, "Now do you understand? You aren't Shalltear and you won't become her no matter how hard you try because you're fine as you are. The only problem you have is accepting that."

There was nothing more to say. Her crushing embrace and fervent kisses are all that needed to be said.