Rating: PG Time: Third Season
Author's Note: I did this very short series of episodes for Dawn awhile back. Basically, it answers the common question of what it was like IF Dawn were really in Sunnydale this whole time.
I've dug these episodes up from the dead and decided to share it.My So-Called Life: The Dawn Chronicles
Episode One: A Summer's End
Most kids think that summer vacation is a lot of fun. And for the past 11 summers have been. I mean, we'd go on cool trips and see neato people. In fact, last summer Mom let me and Buffy go to Dad's and spend the entire summer there. I got to see old friends and see how much cooler they are than me since we moved here to Sunnydale.
Sunnydale is pretty much nothing compared to where we used to live, which was Los Angeles. Sunnydale is totally on the boring end sometimes. Other times, it's nice when I can write in my diary like I am right now in this neat meadow Marcy and I found one day when we were out walking.
School is about to start in a few days. This summer, we didn't do anything. I spent a lot of time at Marcy's house. I used to could eat dinner there every once in awhile, but Mom hasn't been letting me do anything past five or whenever the sun goes down. She tells me it's for my own good and that lots of strangers are out there.
Like they weren't there before? Like any other summer that I got to stay out when it was dark?
But I know why. I know why Mom is acting all paranoi-ee.
Now that it's ended, this summer was different. I was scared in the beginning. Now – I don't know how I feel. Funny, most of the time. Because I know why Mom is being all protective of me.
I'm the only daughter she's had this summer.
"Dawn!" came Joyce Summers called from the bottom of the stairs. The morning sun shined through every window of the Summers' house that Sunday before the first day of school. "Are you ready yet, honey?"
Dawn Summers, dressed to face the shopping day ahead, looked at herself in the mirror, making sure her outfit was of the matching. Satisfied, she grabbed her small bookbag/purse and flew out of the door. She slowed down for a moment, as she always did, in passing her older sister's room.
Most of Buffy's things were in there. Her mom had said she only took a few pictures and clothes. She had only left a note that her mom had never let her see.
Where are you? Dawn thought. Mom needs you. Sometimes she was angry at Buffy for leaving. But deep down, she was just sad and scared. What had made Buffy run off like that?
Dawn could've sworn she heard Willow talk about Buffy's boyfriend, Angel, being the whole reason. But she hadn't seen him in forever. Not that she cared. Angel had turned really mean. Even Buffy told her not to go near him.
Still, Dawn couldn't really get an answer from her mom about the reason for Buffy leaving. Asking seemed like too big a deal to do.
With an angry frown, Dawn turned away and kept going down the hall to meet her mom at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm here," she said.
Joyce smiled as her youngest daughter descended the staircase. "I thought you were going to turn this day down?"
"You kidding?" Dawn piped up, a bounce in her step. "And miss out on a back-to-school shopping day? You'd probably have to tie me down – a lot." She knew this was a big step with her mom, too. After all, Joyce had practically locked herself in the house since Buffy left. Probably hoping she'd come back.
But days passed, and months did, too.
No Buffy.
I'm shaking right now. I had a fight with Mom today. And she yelled so hard at me. She's never done that before. I was scared. All I asked was if we could go shopping. School was starting in two weeks and we usually do the shopping right about now. New clothes, new shoes, paper, pens, and stuff like that.
So I asked. And Mom hasn't been out of the house in so long.
She told me "No" but I so wanted to, badly. So I asked again. And then she screamed at me, saying stuff like "Don't you see I can't? I need to be here!"
Then I couldn't hear it. She was treating me like crap when it's not my stupid fault that Buffy didn't love us anymore and ran away. I didn't want Mom to stop loving me either, and I told her that. And she cried. I was crying. She was, too. And we just cried.
I haven't seen Mom cry like that. I thought she would when Buffy first went away. But she never did.
Not until today...
"So Dawnie, where's your mom taking us?" Willow Rosenberg asked as she sat in the back of the Summers' Jeep Cherokee.
Dawn was so glad that Willow could come. It was always nice when she was there, and, especially, with Xander. Not that Oz wasn't cool. But sometimes Dawn thought he was too cool to talk to. Xander was just always easier, especially since Cordelia had gone away for the summer. No other distractions.
"The mall, where else?" Dawn answered, grinning ear to ear as she glanced back at the redhead. Her face grew into concern as she saw the bruise near Willow's left eye. "Wow. What happened?"
Willow put her hand up to the place Dawn was referring to. She forced a small smile. "Um, I fell...last night."
"Again?" Dawn asked, her eyes wide. "That's like the fifth time you've fallen this week."
Willow let out a laugh that was totally fake and forced. "Yeah. I've grown clumsy over the summer. Darn me. Darn, darn me." She lightly slapped her other hand. She read Dawn's expression and softened. "Hey, don't worry about me. I'm fine."
But Dawn didn't think so, even as she turned back around to face the front. Her mom got into a conversation with Willow that Dawn aptly tuned out. It was weird how ever since Buffy left, Willow, Xander, and Oz seemed to get a lot of bruises.
Her mom said it was no big deal, that they probably did some crazy things over the summer. But whenever Dawn asked if she could join them, her mom would be quick to nix that idea.
"So are you ready for the first day of middle school?" Willow asked, done with whatever she and her mom were talking about.
A smile returned to Dawn's face at Willow's question. "Yeah. I mean, it'll be weird 'cause I'll be the youngest in school again. But it'll be fun. Hello to new building and older guys."
"Dawn!" Joyce almost gasped.
Dawn winced. "Uh, was that out loud?" But she could hear Willow try to stifle a giggle in the backseat.
Suddenly, Dawn felt fine about it, despite her mother's looks.
Willow and I walked around the mall after Mom bought me a few cool outfits. Mom had to do Mommy shopping so Willow said she'd take me around. We didn't buy anything. But as usual, Willow was so cool and got me this really big ice cream cone. It's fun to shop with her – or walk around, at least.
She knows about my crush on Xander. She even told me she knew how I felt because she told me she always had a crush on him. Her and Xander have been friends forever.
I know she wanted to ask about Buffy. I can tell. Buffy once told me how Willow's eyebrows would raise, like she wanted to say something, but then wouldn't. I saw her do that a few times. And I knew it was going to be about Buffy.
Poor Willow. It's like if I lost Marcy. Willow lost her best friend.
"I win!" Xander Harris yelped, pumping his arm in the air in victory. "You lose! You lose! You lose!" He pointed to each of his opponents at the table.
"It's good we're playing in adultness," Daniel Osborne said, cooly. He leaned back in his chair with an almost expression.
Dawn giggled at Xander doing a victory dance in his chair, much like the cabbage patch. She always enjoyed watching him. He was funny and smart – sometimes – and cute, always. So what if he was going to be a senior this year? There was still hope in Dawn's mind.
"Leave him alone, Oz," Willow told her boyfriend, teasingly, leaning up against him. "It's not every day Xander wins at Uno. Like, no day."
Xander gave Willow a mocking menacing point of the finger. "Hey, back off of this Victory Train. If you ain't gonna celebrate, then hop on down, Willow."
"I'm on!" Dawn said, enthusiastically.
"That's my Dawn-meister," he said, rubbing her head. He stood up and urged her to do the same. "Come on, Dawn-o-meter. We're gonna get on the tracks again."
Dawn hopped onto the top of her chair and began doing something similar to what Xander had been doing. She was laughing when he joined in, her braided pig-tails, via Willow, flopping up and down.
Willow laughed, too, as Oz enjoyed the scene in his own happy way. Then her eyes glanced over the clock and she piped down. "Uh, Xander?"
Xander was too busy swinging Dawn's arms around. "Not putting on the brakes yet, Will."
"Xander. It's after six. We should be going." She was serious but Dawn could tell she really didn't want to go.
Dawn had to catch her breath from laughing too much and finally flopped back in her seat. "Aw, you have to go?" she asked, looking at them.
"I'm sorry, Dawnie," Willow said as she gathered the cards. She then stood up, Oz following after. "We have somewhere to go. B-But we'll be back again tomorrow. Promise. Then you can tell us all about your first day of school."
With a defeated frown, Dawn's shoulders slumped. "Okay." Then she brightened a little. "Then you can tell me all about your first day! 'Cause with the seniorness, it should be cool. I mean, I won't know since..." Her voice trailed, realizing she was about to say "Buffy's not here." Her eyes fell on the table for one uncomfortable moment.
The other three stood there with equal uneasiness, knowing the slight taboo of the subject. But Xander quickly picked up the mood, clapping his hands together. "Great," he said. "Seniors we shall be. It'll be the first day of Procrastination Central."
"Procrastination?" Dawn questioned him. "What's that?"
"Heh, I'll tell you later." He gave her a grin as he lightly punched her in the arm.
"Xander," Willow scolded, giving him a smack on his shoulder. She looked back at Dawn. "Tell your mom 'thank you.'"
Dawn got up from her chair and followed them to the front door. With one hand in her jeans' pocket, she slightly rocked on the balls of her feet. "It's cool. She likes it when you guys come over. Even though we're kinda loud."
Three pairs of eyes projected sympathy for Dawn before they went out the door with a wave. Dawn stood there until they disappeared into the new darkness. They always had to leave around this time, for some reason. But she loved it when they did come over. She knew it was mainly to keep their minds off of Buffy – for both ends.
And it worked...at times.
In the darkness of her room, Dawn lay under the covers of her bed, staring at her new outfit folded over the back of her desk chair. She sighed, remembering how different it was when they had picked that outfit. Her mom didn't really like it, but Dawn knew it was something Buffy would say would be cool to wear. Even if Buffy's taste in clothes was lame sometimes, Dawn liked it when Buffy agreed to the outfit. Then it would two against one mom.
"Honey?" came Joyce's voice as she lightly knocked on the door.
"Hey, Mom," Dawn answered, turning her head.
Joyce threw her daughter a soft smile as she made her way to the bad and sat down on the edge. She gently swept the lose hairs from Dawn's face. "You better get to bed. First day of six grade. Exciting."
Dawn nodded. "It will be, I know." She gave a little shrug.
Joyce leaned down and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Good night, my little pum'kin belly," she whispered. With that, she stood.
"Mom?"
Joyce turned toward her. "Yes, honey?"
"When..." She paused. "When do you think Buffy will be back?"
Her mom just stood there, blinking. "Well..."
"Same answer as always, huh?"
Joyce just nodded.
"G'night, Mom. Love you."
"I know."
First day of school was kind of lame. The only good thing about it was Marcy and me being in four whole classes together. Plus, we don't have to be in the same classroom all day. And we have different teachers, too. It's kind of neat that way.
At lunch, this boy named Andrew Finch came to Marcy's table and mine. Two other girls were sitting with us. They were in our math class. So Andrew comes up and totally sits next to me. He's not even cute. Well, he kind of is but in a "I'm so cute" way. And I don't think he takes a bath a lot because he kind of stinks.
So Marcy and the two other girls were giggling while Andrew picks a french fry off my tray –without the asking! How rude! He was there for two seconds then left.
Marcy says he likes me.
I say, whatever.
"How does it feel to be in sixth grade?" Andrew Finch asked Dawn as he chewed on the french fry.
"Kinda like fifth," she said, subtly rolling her eyes at the other girls. The last thing she needed right now was some seventh grader trying to act cool in front of them. "Only sixth."
Andrew just grinned, not picking up on his dismissal. Instead, he just picked up another fry off of Dawn's tray and gave her a grin. He leaned back on the booth's seat, casually putting his arm on the back of it. "Well, it's okay. I'll show you around the halls and stuff."
Marcy and the other two girls tried to hide their giggles by taking a drink of their juice boxes all at the same time.
Dawn uneasily pushed her hair behind her ear. "Um, great. Thanks." She tried to subtly scoot over a bit toward the wall.
"What's wrong, Dawn?" Andrew asked, looking at her almost hurt.
"Um, we were sortta in the middle of something."
"What? You want me to leave?"
Dawn glanced over at Marcy who just grinned. "Um, yeah."
Andrew frowned then scooted out. "Okay. Fine." He held his hands up then walked away, defeated.
"That was harsh," Marcy said when he was out of earshot. "But awesome."
"Really?" Dawn asked, looking at the three of them.
"Totally," Katrina answered. "I heard Andrew's a big fake. Like in FAKE fake. All he wants is to do the skirt lifting and looking."
"Gross," Dawn remarked, making a face.
"He thinks he can do it, too. Just 'cause his uncle is like the mayor's assistant or something." Katrina shrugged and popped a chip in her mouth. "I don't really care. I mean big 'whoo' and 'hoo.' Still isn't gonna give him any right to look up my skirt."
"Seventh grade boys don't grow brains," Marcy said a-matter-of-factly. "My mom says they grow hormones."
"What's that?" Dawn questioned her, thoroughly curious. She had heard her mom say that about Buffy and Angel, and sometimes Xander.
"You know, thinking about sex and stuff."
"Double ewww!" Dawn cried, giggling.
The other three joined in.
"But maybe it's not so bad," Dawn said after they had quieted down. She broke into a goofy smile.
"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Marcy replied, knowingly.
"Who?" Katrina wondered, leaning in for more info.
Dawn shifted her stare to each girl before growing bright red in embarrassment. "Well, his name is Xander..."
Michelle Woodard watched as Dawn headed toward the doors that led to the pick up area of the middle school. As she passed, she made it a point to whisper something in her friend's ear, which prompted both to let out a laugh.
Hearing the giggles, Dawn stopped just as she and Marcy were about to go through the glass doors. In an impulsive act of courage, she turned and faced Michelle. "What's so funny?" she asked.
Michelle continued to grin. "Nothing, sweetheart."
Dawn stepped a little nearer to Michelle, trying to keep her wits about her and stand strong. "No, I heard you talking about me. What's so funny?"
"Dawn," Marcy warned through gritted teeth.
But Michelle wasn't afraid to let Dawn know. "We just heard...well, that your sister is a loser."
Dawn's eyes went wide at the statement. "Huh? You haven't even met her. What makes you think that?"
"Besides the fact that you are, we heard she ran away. And that's why she wasn't there today in school." Michelle glanced over at her friend before continuing. "I mean, isn't that why you guys moved here? Because your sister always got in trouble? Equals total loserness to us."
Dawn knitted her brows together in anger. "You SO better take that back!"
"Or what? You're going to start a fight like your sister does all the time? I'm thinking that maybe you were the one who made her run. When did you talk to her last, huh, Dawn?" A victorious smirk replaced the grin.
Dawn could feel a crowd of nearby kids start to take interest in the conversation between the two girls. Why was Michelle doing this to her? What had Dawn done to her within the span of a school day?
"When was it?" Michelle's friend repeated.
Dawn frowned. "I don't know. B-Before the summer."
"And you know where she is?"
"No."
They started to laugh, some other kids joining in.
"Gee, Dawn. What could you have done to make big sister run away?" Michelle said like she was talking to a five-year-old.
"It's not my fault." Her voice was teetering on fury and tears. How dare they bring up that subject in front of everybody! It was hard enough to live with it at home; she didn't need it following her to school.
A figure caught her eye in the crowd as he made his way up to Dawn. "A-Andrew."
Andrew looked over at Michelle. "Hey, why don't you leave her alone?"
Michelle didn't seem to protest at his request. Instead, she gave one last smirk at Dawn then turned and walked away.
Andrew watched them go a moment before facing Dawn. "You okay?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Dawn stared up at him. "Y-Yeah. I'm okay." She felt sort of bad with the way she treated him at lunch earlier. One single tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away. "Thanks."
"Hey, no problem." He gave her smile.
She returned it, though a bit shaky and met up with Marcy who still stood there at the doors. As she exited the building, she glanced back over her shoulder and gave a small wave to Andrew.
He waved back.
"Whoa, talk about intense," Marcy muttered as they headed toward their moms' cars.
Dawn nodded. "I don't know what glue Michelle Cow Bell sniffed today, but...I really don't know what she was talking about. And – and how did she know about Buffy anyway?"
Marcy couldn't give her friend an answer. Instead, she just gave her a comforting hand on her arm before going to her mother.
The dinner table was silent say except for the clinking of the silverware against the dishes. Soft music played from the kitchen, something one of her mother's book club friends had told her would help soothe a long day of stress.
"What's wrong, honey?" Joyce asked her younger daughter. "I thought your first day of school was okay."
Dawn contemplated for a moment on whether to answer that with the truth or just sit there and stuff her face. "Yeah," she answered, going for the first option. "'Okay' as in really bad."
Joyce set down her fork and frowned. "Oh, honey, what happened?"
"Michelle and her loser crowd of seventh grader wannabes made fun of me."
"Is that why you were so quiet in the car?"
Dawn nodded. She wasn't hungry any more as the thought about the scene that had played out before she was picked up bubbled up in her mind. "She-she was being so mean, Mom."
"What was she saying? What could she possibly say about you to get you so upset?"
"It wasn't about...me...really. It was about - "Dawn sighed. "It was about Buffy."
"What? What did they say about Buffy?" Special attention was brought now that the focus had changed to the eldest daughter.
"They were saying how big of a loser she was because of how we had to move because of her. And that she's weird because she ran away." She folded her arms and sat back in the chair defiantly. "And Michelle said...it was something that I did."
"No, Dawn," Joyce answered, firmly. Reaching over and placing a hand on Dawn's leg, she made Dawn look at her. "Don't you dare listen to them. NOTHING you did made Buffy run away."
The question had been brought up a few times in the beginning, but Dawn hadn't really brought it up again. Until now. "So why did she, Mom? What did she do? Why did she run away?"
She watched as her mother withdrew her hand and put it back on the table while suddenly finding the cracks in the wood of the tabletop more interesting. "Things had happened. I told you that."
"What things, Mom?" Dawn asked, getting frustrated. "You told me that before, but I still don't understand."
"And you won't. There are just some things that I don't think you need to know."
Dawn slammed down her palms on the table as she stood up. "I hate this!" she cried. "I hate Buffy! I hate that she ran away!"
"Dawn, stop that!" She looked at her daughter in shock. "Don't say that about your sister."
"Why not!? SHE'S the one who left!" Her voice choked, realizing some familiar feelings that she had been feeling this entire time. "Like Dad did...like you might. I hate her!"
"Dawn, I'd never leave you. Stop saying – "
But Dawn didn't want to hear it. Buffy had told her stuff like that. But she hadn't pulled through on those promises. Sisters aren't supposed to leave sisters. You can't divorce a sister.
But Buffy found a way.
Instead, Dawn shoved back her chair and ran upstairs into her room, slamming the door behind her and burying her face in the pillow.
Mom tried to come in. But I didn't want her in here. I don't want anyone in here.
It's not fair. Mom knows something that Buffy did to make her run away but she won't tell me. How come I don't get to know? I'm in the 6th grade now. I'm old enough to know stuff. Plus, Buffy's my sister. And I hate her.
I hate her.
But I love her.
And I miss her.
Dawn laid there in bed, the tears drying from her face. The house was silent except for her mom in the kitchen working on the dishwasher. It broke last night and Joyce refused to call a repairman until she had a go at it.
Her mom had to be doing something all the time. Her mind had to be doing something all the time.
In the darkness, Dawn listened to the clanking of metal against metal, a frustrated sigh from her mom, then a pause. A very faint knock could be heard from the kitchen. It caused Joyce to stop what she was doing.
Muffled sounds of the back door of the kitchen filled Dawn's ears then. And she expected for Joyce to begin talking, greeting the stranger.
But no words came.
Seconds passed and still not another sound.
Dawn held her breath, afraid what had happened. She began to sit up in bed, the urge to check on her mom hitting her.But as soon as her head left the pillow, voices were heard downstairs. Muffled, hushed voices. They went on for about 10 minutes.
Then light footsteps went up the stairs.
Dawn quickly laid back down and pulled the covers over her. She closed her eyes just as soon as her bedroom door opened. The hall light cast a shadow on the wall of the person who stood at her doorway. They couldn't see her looking, but she could see their shape.And it wasn't her mom.
Dawn stared at the long shadow as it stood there for what seemed forever. Once again, she held her breath. She didn't know whether the person was going to come in or stand there. She didn't' know how long she could stay still. Her eyes peered at the darkness on the wall, recognizing the shape.
Then the door creaked shut and the person was gone.
But Dawn didn't let out her breath. Instead, she held it in, her eyes fixed on where the shadow had been. Then another door closed down the hall.
It came from the room next door.
Heart racing, Dawn let out a shaky breath and shut her eyes, slow tears forming, recalling the shadow at the door. The one she had recognized.
Buffy was back...---End---
Next episode: Dawn isn't as happy as the others at Buffy's return...then the truth comes out to get her....