Meanwhile, in a graveyard a few miles away from Sweet Valley, there was a commotion in one of the coffins. Sam Woodruff awoke from his coma with a start.
"Holy macaroni," he whispered to himself. "Where the hell am I?"
He inhaled. He could smell wood, and dirt, and... bodies...
"Holy cow, they thought I was dead!"
He thought for a few seconds about his predicament. He could, of course, allow sleep to consume him and die peacefully. Or he could use the technique Pai-Mei taught him when he went to train to become a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.
Pai-Mei had forced him to undergo a rigorous routine of training daily for a year or so, back when it had been Sam's dream to work for Bill. He had learnt how to punch his way through thick blocks of wood, and at the time he had remarked to himself how handy this would be if he were ever stuck in a coffin.
Breathing in resolutely, Sam put his fist out in front of him and began to hit the thick wood. Like a true hero, it only took around ten thumps for the thing to give way, but Sam hadn't bargained on all the dirt falling in on him. It went in his mouth, his hair, even under his fingernails... ew.
Snap out of it, dude, he scolded himself. You are a frickin' dirt biker. You're supposed to love dirt.
But, but, it's got like, worms in a stuff, the part of himself that he called 'Jessica' whined.
Fortunately, Sam overcame the mud problem and wriggled his way up to the surface, where he broke free. He didn't need to catch his breath, he just ran all the way from Bridgewater to Sweet Valley to find the woman he loved. Without stopping. Unbelievable, yes, but don't forget that Sam is a hero – and this is Sweet Valley.