Chapter 5. Some Answers
"Why thank you for asking Harry, I am feeling quite stretched these days and am constantly second-guessing myself. Are you sure you are fine? Please sit down here." The headmaster looked wearied as he said this and gestured to the seat beside him.
Harry was a little stunned at such an answer--especially such a …er…well…forward answer. "Thank you again Sir for the books. I've started reading a bit. I gather you received my note?" Harry was not quite sure whether the idea of a Dumbledore who seemed willing to actually answer questions was either a good thing or a little bit of a frightening thing.
Dumbledore smiled at Harry as he began, "Yes, I did. I knew you would have questions after you had time to begin to absorb everything. I am sorry….well, I am sorry that you had to find out what you know when and how you did. There are many details of the prophecy, the Order and the night you lost your parents that I just couldn't see fit to include in the telling that night in my office." Dumbledore was studying Harry with a mixture of sorrow, sincerity and slight regret, "Ideally, I would have told you everything all at once and we could have discussed everything to the point of mutual understanding and you would then have had time to yourself to deal with what it all might mean. Time where you are not simultaneously trying to cope with the loss of loved one. Of course, in a truly ideal world, no one person would have ever been given such a …fate.
"My top priority right now is you, Harry. I feel by delaying in making you aware of the truth, I did not delay the burden at all, but rather prevented you from preparing yourself for a burden that was always and already upon you."
"What about the Order?" Harry asked as it was a little too much for the seemingly most important wizard in the world to have his top priority be himself, what with Voldemort now without a reason to not terrorize wizards, witches, and muggles alike according to his every whim.
"The burden upon the Order to oppose Voldemort has been significantly decreased since the Ministry has accepted his return. Let's start with the Order. Harry, The Order of the Phoenix is nearly as old as Hogwarts and is dedicated to opposing the Dark Lord--whomever it may be. With you, Harry, being known to me, the Lead Light of the Phoenix, as the one with the sole ability to vanquish the Dark Lord, I can tell you that the top priority of the Order, is you. Wait--" Harry had opened his mouth to speak but was stopped, "If there was not just one person known to be the sole route to defeating the Dark Lord or if no one person was known to be with a power able to vanquish, the Order would then have its primary focus on bringing about the defeat of the Dark Lord--in any way possible. The prophecy tells us that a defeat of the Dark Lord will be at your hand. Not at anyone else's. Therefore the Order is dedicated to protecting you and aiding you in any way you need. Whether our members know you are the only person with this ability or whether they believe you are one of possible others--does not matter to them.
"It is true I have deliberately misled the Order to believe certain things about the prophecy and how it came to be known. The reasons for this should be known to you; you yourself will need to understand the ramifications of what others knowing the full truth may be. You asked me if I thought the prophecy should remain secret and if it might be unwise to tell anyone else. I cannot answer that question for you but I can tell you why I have acted as I have. I have considered my knowledge of the prophecy to be sacred to you and only you and have not shared it in its entirety to a single soul but you. It is entirely your choice what you do with the knowledge you now have.
"The night the prophecy was made, the eavesdropper who had been in the hallway when I had just opened the door to leave and Sibyll went into her trance was not thrown from the premises until after I had talked to him. The one who overheard the beginning had seen me enter the Hog's Head and go upstairs and was awaiting my leaving the private room in order to speak with me and could not have expected to have overheard anything as important as they did, any more so than I. You might have recognized the owner and bartender at the Hog's Head when you and your friends went in there last year--he looks somewhat like me, only not quite as well aged--even if I do say so myself. He is my brother, Aberforth. When Aberforth had come upstairs to check on Sibyll and I, he saw the person in the hall and myself closing the door upon hearing Sibyll go into her trance. Aberforth believed the person in the hall to have been skulking around or intentionally eavesdropping and so stunned him and tossed him into the back alley. When I was finally ready to leave for the night my brother informed of what he had seen and done and told me to deal with the man as I saw fit.
"It turns out that the man was waiting to approach me to discuss helping my efforts against Voldemort. He was in a prime position of knowledge and because of his family, would be expected to willingly receive the Mark by the end of the year. He had absolutely no desire to do such a thing but saw an opportunity in acting to fulfill his expectations while secretly being loyal to the cause of the Order.
"I was presented with a very difficult decision that night. If decided to memory charm the man, I felt sure that when his eventual Marking came about, that Voldemort would first search his mind to know his loyalty and see perhaps, not only that he was not loyal to the cause of the Death Eaters but also a block in his memories, indicating a memory charm. Voldemort, as you know, will stop at nothing to know what information might be so important as to warrant obliviation. So memory charming the man would only surely end in the very person I least wanted to know there even had been a prophecy, knowing everything the man had overheard-- as well as surely destroying the mind and life of the man.
"On the other hand, I could see that the man was indeed sincere in his adamancy to not support Voldemort and if he were enabled with skills to withstand the Legilimency powers of Voldemort, his connections would prove quite invaluable. I chose to put my faith in him--and I was not mistaken--I am quite sure I made the best choice to be made.
"I began to meet secretly with him, training him to be a master Occlumens. He would need to be able to withstand a Legilimency power equal to mine to have a hope of being successful against Voldemort. As you well know, Harry, being trained in Occlumency offers many of your memories up for display to whomever is teaching you and from my time with this man, I can say I more than know him and his loyalties--I understand him. He was eventually successful in mastering Occlumency in time for his arranged initiation as a Death Eater. He was able to successfully filter and screen his memories and emotions in the presence of the Dark Lord and Voldemort never suspected a thing.
"In the meantime, with the skill at which my new spy was able to shuttle me information, the Order was quickly becoming quite the nuisance to Voldemort and his servants. I soon began to suspect, however, that we the Order might have had a spy of our own in our midst because, with incredible accuracy, members of our previously secret order were being attacked and killed. Our traitor, of course, we now know to have been Peter." Dumbledore had maintain an intensive fervor as he was relating his tale but paused here to linger and looked across the room before turning back to an enraptured Harry to continue, "All Order members and their families were soon pulling out every protection and warding spell they knew to prevent falling fate to the horrible things that had been done to the Edgar and his family, Benjy, the McKinnons…
Your parents moved to your father's ancestral home in Godric's Hollow that was already imbued with several layers of ancient protection. The Longbottoms--to their own family home. Both you and Neville, the two candidates I saw for The One of the prophecy, were safe.
"With times as they were, I felt it was important to tell your parents and the Longbottoms that one of their sons was likely implicated in a prophecy as a threat to the Dark Lord. I explained that at the time, Voldemort had no knowledge of this prophecy but that if it was known, there was a strong possibility that either or both families would be targeted. At the time I could not bring myself to tell either young couple that one of their barely-crawling sons would bear an incredible burden of fate--it would have tore them up and possibly compromised any future you all would have had together. My faith in our spy was steadfast. And your mother, an incredibly gifted witch and not one to just sit home and do nothing--even if she did have you for company, began searching ancient magic texts for spells to aid those in hiding. It was at your first birthday party, Harry that your mother told me she believed she had found something--the Fidelius Charm. It was a brilliant idea and a very complex and obscure spell-- are you familiar with it?"
Harry nodded, "Yes, it uses a Secret-Keeper--like you are for the Order's location."
Dumbledore smiled and nodded and went on, "Well, your mother began to endeavor to master casting the charm and in the meantime, the attacks on our members had ceased.
"My spy, however, had begun to come under suspicion and was losing favor with Voldemort. As his pressure to prove himself increased, he was asked to carry out more testing orders. Up until that point Voldemort had not demanded much of him other than the use of a few of his skills. He bore the Mark but had never been a mask-wearing servant out amongst the populace. When he began to be seen as hesitant to commit acts torture or to kill directly, he was being watched too closely to shunt any information to me without risking himself even more.
"He met with me one last time to say he could not risk spying or contacting me anymore. He assured me he would take the secret he knew of the prophecy to his grave. I believe he would have, if I had not decided that the Fidelius Charm would allow your family and the Longbottoms to safely live even if the beginning of the prophecy were known. I told my spy that we had found an ancient spell with which our members may hide and that if his life were on the line, he might offer the information of the prophecy to Voldemort to regain favor and trust. My spy guessed it was the Fidelius Charm--he said it was known by Death Eaters that Order members might be using it to hide.
"This mattered not-- for the beauty of the charm meant that even if someone knew one was using it, it did not help. Only the Secret-Keeper can reveal the location or break the charm. I was, however, rather unnerved by this knowledge of our plans to use Fidelius being known to Voldemort. As far as I knew, your mother had only told their close friends--Frank and Alice Longbottom, Sirius, Remus and Peter and myself about what she had found. This narrowed the scope of who our traitor might be considerably.
"I told your mother and father about the leaked information about using Fidelius. I cannot pretend to know the doubts in loyalty this caused them nor the tensions it created among all the friends. Remus and Sirius told me it had been brought up in the open to all but debated in private among each other.
"It was shortly thereafter that my spy was indeed having his loyalties questioned again and was, one night, being subjected to the Cruciatus and Legilimency by Voldemort to such a degree that he believed it would not end until he was insane and his mind broke. He began to filter his memories and create memories to produce a history of having been put under Imperious by me to act as a spy and having been memory charmed by me after overhearing a prophecy. Voldemort was quite shocked. He removed what he believed was an Imperious curse on my spy and then gave him reprieve for such valuable information. The spy was able to fake gaining back his memory of the prophecy and then relate what he knew to Voldemort.
"My spy let me know at once what he had done and that it would be only a matter of time before Voldemort and his servants had narrowed down who The One may be--interpreting the prophecy was immediately their top priority.
"With the beginning of the prophecy known to all of Voldemort's servants, there was no point to keep it secret from the Order. They were all told and your parents and the Longbottoms were advised to commence the Fidelius Charm immediately. I offered to be Secret-Keeper for both. There was, however, a concern whether one person could act simultaneously as Secret-Keeper. The idea of both families hiding together was not favorable because, I believe as your father put it, it would have been like putting all our eggs in one basket. Your mother and father meet with me privately to say they suspected Remus as the traitor and would go with Sirius as their Secret-Keeper. Your father then lent me his invisibility cloak for the use of the Order as it would be redundant for him to have use of it when under such a powerful hiding charm. That was just over a week before Halloween and the last time I saw your parents alive." Dumbledore sighed in memory and looked down at his lap before looking back at Harry.
"Of course we now know they pulled a switch at the last minute and used Peter as a bluff for the charm. Peter must have told Voldemort that he still had a spy that had informed us that there had been a prophecy. Voldemort told no one that the Potter's Secret-Keeper had betrayed them--my spy could not help us. Lord Voldemort went alone that night to Godric's Hollow when he marked you with the curse that backfired and unwittingly brought to fruition the next portion or the prophecy. The rest you know." Dumbledore sighed deeply and shook his head gently as if he had just relived the events of the past allover again. He reached over to pour two cups of tea and handed one to a slightly numb Harry.
"It was Snape. He was your spy. The eavesdropper." Harry could only stare down at the cup of tea he had been handed. "The one who told the prophecy to Voldemort." You must master yourself, Potter. Harry felt an incredible cold spread through him. He should have died. Harry could not even begin to fathom the injustice of the fact that Snape had essentially saved his own life at the cost of the lives of Harry's mother and father.
"I have long blamed myself for the deaths of your parents, Harry. Professor Snape, I have no doubt, would have taken the secret to his grave had I not given him the assurance that the Order was prepared for the information to be let out and had I not made it my wish that he might choose to use the information to save himself, if necessary.
"Professor Snape, on the other hand, I believe still blames himself as evidenced by the efforts he has made to save your life, protect, and help you. I told you in your first year that Professor Snape acted to save you on your jinxed broom during a quidditch game because of a life debt he owed your father. He never was able to pay back that debt to your father and feels, rather that he was a cause in the deaths of both your father and mother. Harry, as far as life debts go, Professor Snape feels he owes you three."
"He hated my father--he hates me! He can take his life debts and keep them--I would be content with him just treating me with slightly less loathing."
"I cannot say I was not hoping that by having Professor Snape train you in Occlumency, you both might learn to understand each other in slightly different lights. I think I might have hoped for too much. I do want you to master it but I will train you myself."
Harry was barely listening now. Snape could have saved my father--my mother--me from having to live with the Dursleys! Snape could have helped save Sirius--he could have prevented Sirius from ever enduring 12 years in Azkaban. And yet, he claims to be ~unwaveringly~ adamant in his opposition of Voldemort but chooses to hate the only one who can actually defeat him! "So why is it that you think the full prophecy is best left secret?" Harry was imagining Snape hearing that Harry was his only hope if he truly wanted to see Voldemort dead. Bastard! He thinks I am *spoiled*! Yes, I can see it now, "Precious Potter, gets his own prophecy!" As if I would *want* this!!
"Well Harry, with Voldemort not knowing what the remainder of the prophecy is, the mystery of it is likely much larger than the reality of it. Voldemort did not continue his pursuit of you when you lived after his resurrection; he felt he needed to know what it was he had not known before; he wanted the knowledge of how he could kill one with the power to vanquish him. I think you might agree that anything that might give Voldemort pause to kill you, is a good thing?"
"Well yes," So he wants to kill me--old news, "But why not tell the order that you were the one who heard the prophecy and know it in full?"
"At the time I first told the Order that a spy had alerted me to the fact that Voldemort had heard the beginning of a prophecy concerning someone with the power to vanquish him, I was hoping to not contradict the story Severus had concocted. In my mind it would be quite a long time--many years--until either you or Neville would ever be able to bring about the fall of Voldemort. I felt it was important to hope that Severus would be able to continue spying. If I told the truth, our own spy may have caused Severus to be under further scrutiny. I never corrected the assumption of how we found out about it because I did not think it was necessary.
"As a result when followers of Voldemort were being sought and questioned, I only had to vouch that Severus been a spy before the fall of Voldemort and that he had acted at great risk to himself--which he did. My vouching for him on only this account meant I never contradicted the story he had led Voldemort to believe and has allowed him to have persuaded some followers that had returned to Voldemort last year, that Severus was and is leading me on in acting as a spy and that his true loyalties remain with the Dark Lord. It has remained advantageous to us to let everyone believe as they do.
"However, recently after Voldemort's servants were able to take advantage of the Order's inability to constantly guard the Department of Mysteries, they gained entranced and were finally able to at least see the prophecy recording sphere on which they could read the initials of the persons who made the prophecy and to whom it was made. The fact that the prophecy was made to me only seemed to solidify Severus' story of having been memory charmed by me to forget what he had heard. He, in fact, has gained some favor since this became known.
"When Lord Voldemort found I out I knew the entire prophecy, I believe he immediately assumed you would also know. I believed he then tried to manipulate his connection to you in attempts to search your mind and memories for this knowledge. We know he was unable to do any such thing. It seems that the connection you have to see through Voldemort's eyes and to feel his emotions is not nearly as strong as Voldemort's ability to reach you. However, he believed he could still use the connection to manipulate you by sending you specifically imagined scenarios and events--and he did." Harry could not look at Dumbledore as he said this. He was staring intently at the cup of tea held in his lap that had never been touched. "It seems he believed that even though you might have heard the prophecy from me, that he might be able to convince you there might be more to it and to tempt you with the knowledge of the location of the complete recording. However, you knew nothing of this and were mystified, perhaps, why you were dreaming of the Department of Mysteries and the route within to the recording. He became desperate to lure you to procure the recording so that his servants might then bring it to him; so desperate that a new plan was devised--one that used the knowledge Kreacher had provided of the identity of the person for whom you cared a great deal and one whose whereabouts might be difficult to verify. "
"Then why not tell me the prophecy then and forget about learning Occlumency?" Harry asked dully as he leaned forward and set down the untouched cup of tea.
"By the time we knew of his inability to reach you, I had already left the school. Occlumency is important for more than just controlling your scar connection with Voldemort. Occlumency will be critical to you being able to be in his presence, where he might attempt to use the traditional method of Legilimency to gain access to your mind. It is also the foundation for becoming skilled at preventing and fighting possession. Mastering Occlumency remains a high priority for you and I will commit myself to helping you master it." Harry was back to feeling the incredible guilt he had come to associate with his failure to master Occlumency. "I have complete faith, Harry, in your ability to do so."
"So…it should be kept secret to prevent anyone else from having to master Occlumency as well." Harry seemed ready to accept he would have to keep the biggest secret he could ever imagine from everyone he knew.
"Not so much that Harry, but yes, it remaining mostly secret does limit the chance of it becoming known. I have come to believe that its secrecy is important because of what the knowledge might cause people to think. They might think that they have no role to play in defeating Voldemort because they may believe that is merely your job. They may, perhaps, further isolate you in your fame--either on a pedestal or under scrutiny. They may, in the unfortunate event of your own defeat-- which I do hope and pray will not come to pass--believe all hope is lost and that there would no point in opposing Voldemort with the only one who could defeat him, already gone.
"These have been my reasons for the choices I have made. Your decisions must be made upon your own reasons. As it is, I understand, myself, being your only outlet for counsel and discussion on the prophecy may not be ideal to you." Dumbledore held up his palm as Harry began with an in take of breath, "I would completely understand if you chose to share this knowledge with those close to you; you should not attempt to bear such a weight upon your mind nor shoulders without help. You do seem to have a tendency to keep your own counsel, Harry and I feel you would probably benefit by relying more on others and sharing your thoughts--fears, concerns…hopes. I am here for you--whatever you may need." Dumbledore laid a hand on Harry's shoulder at this time, "I believe for us to be successful, you and I shall need to work together. Create a more open dialogue. You are far too involved--the center of it all, I daresay--to not be included in the business of the Order. And I hope you will come to find that I might offer you more than just information, but also the wisdom that comes with age and experience. Together we can do this and together, I believe, we will succeed." Harry had never quite see Dumbledore's blue eyes burn so intensely as he was now looking at Harry. The fleeting thoughts he had previously of perhaps living up to the high expectations of the prophecy and Dumbledore were now blossoming in his chest and he could feel a fire of his being kindled and reflected in his own green eyes. Dumbledore then reached one hand towards him in the gesture of a handshake, "Together then?" Harry's throat could not have let a word out of his mouth but he gave his answer by reaching to grasp the proffered hand. Harry soon found himself with his cheek pressed against a silk robe and white beard and Dumbledore's other arm had came around fully to pull Harry in for an embrace from a Headmaster who had just shared the burden of the world with a barely sixteen year old boy.
Author's Note: Wow-- this took a while to be written out clearly and details verified by my ever-loving beta and myself. We think this does indeed stand to be supported by cannon, to date. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed--your comments, criticisms and compliments are all appreciated.