***
Carson Park had its fair share of blatant on a long warm summer evening, Dawn thought. Apparently most Metropolis women between sixteen and forty wanted to be gold-diggers when they grew up, because Lex was drawing them like flies. Still, it meant that the Kleptes-Virgo should be easy enough to spot; she'd be the one who wanted Clark instead.
Lex was doing nonchalant like he'd majored in it; Clark was hunting the crowds with that scan-the-area thing that Buffy was so good at; Pete was muttering in disbelief and annoyance that the chicks all wanted Lex; Chloe and Dawn rolled their eyes a lot and tried not to giggle. The first sign that they'd hit the center of the weird for the day was that the pool area was completely devoid of teenage girls and young women. There were little girls and people's moms, but the whole high-school/college demographic was represented by boys only, and the boys were all clustered at one edge.
"That would be the one," Dawn pointed out the lifeguard in question to Chloe. "Well-proportioned Miss Baywatch '05 over there. Like a queen surrounded by drones."
"I agree," Chloe said. "What do you guys think?"
There was no answer from the boys. Dawn and Chloe both turned to look at them. Pete was grinning like a maniac. Clark was almost drooling. Even Lex (probably the furthest thing from a virgin that Dawn had ever personally met, if the stories were true) looked kind of stunned. All three of them had their eyes glued to the lifeguard as if they'd never look at anything or anyone else ever again.
"They think that's her," Chloe interpreted.
Dawn laid her hands on Clark to keep him from going closer to the Kleptes-Virgo, and Chloe restrained Pete and Lex. They pulled the boys further back away from the pool, to a handy clump of trees where they could talk without being overheard.
"Okay, I said we had a plan, but now that we've located her we need a *real* plan," Dawn said.
Lex shook his head a little and took a deep breath. He looked at Dawn. "Right," he said. "How do we kill it?"
"Hold on a second," Pete protested. "What're you talkin' about killing now?"
"That... thing. The Kleptes-Virgo. It's not really a woman, Pete," Lex was forcing himself to not look towards the pool.
Pete was still gazing at the beauty surrounded by boys in the distance. "Looks like a woman to me, man. Maybe you should get your rich-boy eyes checked."
"Pete!" Chloe exclaimed indignantly. "You saw the coroner's pictures! That monster bit a kid's head off!"
Pete chuckled, slow and low, in a way that Dawn didn't really like. Then he tore his eyes away from the poolside display and looked at Chloe. "I'm not convinced. Okay, yeah, something attacked a kid, and that's bad. But there's no evidence that fine babe out there is the thing, that's all I'm sayin'."
"I don't *believe* you!" Chloe began, but Dawn cut her off.
"No, Pete's right. We need some sort of proof. If not good enough for the cops, at least good enough for us, so we're sure we're not attacking some innocent bystander," Dawn said thoughtfully. Although Clark's continuing speechlessness tended to rule out the possibility of the woman at the pool NOT being something weird. Dawn refused to entertain the thought that her boyfriend was just entranced by some other girl. She was resolute in her belief that the lifeguard was a giant mind-controlling preying mantis. Really.
"Well, what happened when you met one of these before? In Sunnydale?" Lex asked.
"I wasn't in on that fight," Dawn was forced to admit. "I was only about nine." Actually, she hadn't been in existence as a person at all. "I only heard about it years later, in bits and pieces."
Lex still wasn't looking towards the pool. Dawn saw him swallow. He got his tiny, expensive, state-of-the-art cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Call your sister," he said in a clipped, expressionless voice. "Ask her what we need to know before we face this."
Dawn took the phone without comment and dialed home. She got the answering machine and left a message. Lex's jaw was twitching a little. Pete had gone back to gazing at the lifeguard; Clark had never stopped.
"Are you going to page her?" Lex asked.
"I'm going to try Xander first, if that's okay. I know he was there." Lex nodded but didn't say anything. Dawn dialed Xander's cell.
"Harris," Xander answered after the second ring.
"Xander, it's me, Dawn."
"Dawnster! How are things in America's Heartland?"
"Not so good, actually. A boy was found early this morning with no head, and suspicious mandible-ey marks on the body."
"Ooh. Giant preying mantis lady?"
"That's what I thought! And I think we've found her. Lifeguard at a city pool."
"That would be a good hunting spot."
"She's gorgeous, and predatory-looking, and I *don*'*t* think that's a city-issue swimsuit. Also, all our boys are speechless and stupefied."
"Our? Who do you have for back-up?"
"Well, Clark's here. He'll be our bait...."
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Dawnie," Xander interrupted her.
"Yes, Dad," Dawn scoffed at him. "Anyway, Clark, and Lex, and Clark's friends Pete and Chloe."
"Another girl's a big help, although the seduction kind of falters once the rape begins."
"Huh?"
"I never told you this story, did I? It's not exactly a shining triumph in the life of Alexander Harris."
"I don't need all the gory details." She *really* didn't. "Just what you think we should know to fight this."
"Well, the one we had got guys to go to her house for after-school work on a science project. She had cages in her basement, and she kept us there until she could get around to the egg-laying, mating, and beheading part of the fun. Once the trap was sprung, she let the glamour down. I think she got off on our fear."
Dawn could tell it still made Xander uncomfortable to talk about the whole episode. "I'm sorry."
"Do you have weapons? The technique should still be the standard slice-and-dice."
"Weapons! Okay, we'll need machetes or axes or something."
"Yeah, and Buffy used bug spray...."
"Good idea."
"...And also a recording of bat sonar to mess up its senses. Your sister? Smarter than she looks."
"Lucky for the world," Dawn smiled. "How is she anyhow?"
"Fine. Haven't seen her today, though. I got a new apartment last week; did you hear? She helped me move all my stuff."
"Good for you. I can't wait to see your new place."
"Can't wait to show it to you. Be careful, Dawnster."
"I will. You, too." Dawn turned off the phone and gave it back to Lex.
"Well?" Lex asked.
"The good news is, the two other missing boys may still be alive. The bad news is, we forgot to pick up weapons and bug spray and recorded bat sonar on the way over here."
"Uh, guys? I've got other bad news." Chloe gestured towards the pool. While Dawn, Chloe, and Lex had been preoccupied with the telephone conversation, Clark and Pete had wandered away. Clark could be seen towering over the rest of the masculine throng, and Pete's bright yellow shirt was occasionally visible as well. "Do we just charge after them?"
"They should be okay, for now," Dawn speculated. "Pete's not, I mean he didn't act like...."
"A virgin?" Chloe interrupted. "Hell, no. But what about Clark? He may not use his head for much, but it sure is pretty, and I'd hate to see it gone." Chloe was trying to make light of the situation, but Dawn thought she sounded worried.
"I have some weapons in the trunk of my car," Lex said. He sounded distracted and sad, and he kept looking at Clark. "Can't we do without the other things? I mean, this is Clark. It's not likely she'll be capable of physically harming him."
Dawn noticed Chloe eyeing Lex curiously. "Let's go, then," Dawn quickly said, hoping to distract the other girl with some action. The two girls and Lex headed out for equipment.
***
Buffy came to in a dark place. What the hell? It was dark and hot and smelled like diesel fuel, and it was vibrating.
She felt all muzzy. Her arm hurt, and her side did, too.
The lethargy and nausea felt like a drug -- the name was right on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite remember it. It was something they gave you in a psychiatric ward, though. She was sure of that, even though some or all of those memories weren't real.
She had been walking to work in the morning. A lady in a van asked her for directions. "Could you come a little closer, dear, I'm hard of hearing." She was *sure* it hadn't been a monster. It was broad daylight, what could....
The lady had hit her with a taser. She thought she remembered now. In the side. Twice.
It was so hot. Buffy wished there were a little more air. Then she passed out again.
***
Carson Park had its fair share of blatant on a long warm summer evening, Dawn thought. Apparently most Metropolis women between sixteen and forty wanted to be gold-diggers when they grew up, because Lex was drawing them like flies. Still, it meant that the Kleptes-Virgo should be easy enough to spot; she'd be the one who wanted Clark instead.
Lex was doing nonchalant like he'd majored in it; Clark was hunting the crowds with that scan-the-area thing that Buffy was so good at; Pete was muttering in disbelief and annoyance that the chicks all wanted Lex; Chloe and Dawn rolled their eyes a lot and tried not to giggle. The first sign that they'd hit the center of the weird for the day was that the pool area was completely devoid of teenage girls and young women. There were little girls and people's moms, but the whole high-school/college demographic was represented by boys only, and the boys were all clustered at one edge.
"That would be the one," Dawn pointed out the lifeguard in question to Chloe. "Well-proportioned Miss Baywatch '05 over there. Like a queen surrounded by drones."
"I agree," Chloe said. "What do you guys think?"
There was no answer from the boys. Dawn and Chloe both turned to look at them. Pete was grinning like a maniac. Clark was almost drooling. Even Lex (probably the furthest thing from a virgin that Dawn had ever personally met, if the stories were true) looked kind of stunned. All three of them had their eyes glued to the lifeguard as if they'd never look at anything or anyone else ever again.
"They think that's her," Chloe interpreted.
Dawn laid her hands on Clark to keep him from going closer to the Kleptes-Virgo, and Chloe restrained Pete and Lex. They pulled the boys further back away from the pool, to a handy clump of trees where they could talk without being overheard.
"Okay, I said we had a plan, but now that we've located her we need a *real* plan," Dawn said.
Lex shook his head a little and took a deep breath. He looked at Dawn. "Right," he said. "How do we kill it?"
"Hold on a second," Pete protested. "What're you talkin' about killing now?"
"That... thing. The Kleptes-Virgo. It's not really a woman, Pete," Lex was forcing himself to not look towards the pool.
Pete was still gazing at the beauty surrounded by boys in the distance. "Looks like a woman to me, man. Maybe you should get your rich-boy eyes checked."
"Pete!" Chloe exclaimed indignantly. "You saw the coroner's pictures! That monster bit a kid's head off!"
Pete chuckled, slow and low, in a way that Dawn didn't really like. Then he tore his eyes away from the poolside display and looked at Chloe. "I'm not convinced. Okay, yeah, something attacked a kid, and that's bad. But there's no evidence that fine babe out there is the thing, that's all I'm sayin'."
"I don't *believe* you!" Chloe began, but Dawn cut her off.
"No, Pete's right. We need some sort of proof. If not good enough for the cops, at least good enough for us, so we're sure we're not attacking some innocent bystander," Dawn said thoughtfully. Although Clark's continuing speechlessness tended to rule out the possibility of the woman at the pool NOT being something weird. Dawn refused to entertain the thought that her boyfriend was just entranced by some other girl. She was resolute in her belief that the lifeguard was a giant mind-controlling preying mantis. Really.
"Well, what happened when you met one of these before? In Sunnydale?" Lex asked.
"I wasn't in on that fight," Dawn was forced to admit. "I was only about nine." Actually, she hadn't been in existence as a person at all. "I only heard about it years later, in bits and pieces."
Lex still wasn't looking towards the pool. Dawn saw him swallow. He got his tiny, expensive, state-of-the-art cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Call your sister," he said in a clipped, expressionless voice. "Ask her what we need to know before we face this."
Dawn took the phone without comment and dialed home. She got the answering machine and left a message. Lex's jaw was twitching a little. Pete had gone back to gazing at the lifeguard; Clark had never stopped.
"Are you going to page her?" Lex asked.
"I'm going to try Xander first, if that's okay. I know he was there." Lex nodded but didn't say anything. Dawn dialed Xander's cell.
"Harris," Xander answered after the second ring.
"Xander, it's me, Dawn."
"Dawnster! How are things in America's Heartland?"
"Not so good, actually. A boy was found early this morning with no head, and suspicious mandible-ey marks on the body."
"Ooh. Giant preying mantis lady?"
"That's what I thought! And I think we've found her. Lifeguard at a city pool."
"That would be a good hunting spot."
"She's gorgeous, and predatory-looking, and I *don*'*t* think that's a city-issue swimsuit. Also, all our boys are speechless and stupefied."
"Our? Who do you have for back-up?"
"Well, Clark's here. He'll be our bait...."
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Dawnie," Xander interrupted her.
"Yes, Dad," Dawn scoffed at him. "Anyway, Clark, and Lex, and Clark's friends Pete and Chloe."
"Another girl's a big help, although the seduction kind of falters once the rape begins."
"Huh?"
"I never told you this story, did I? It's not exactly a shining triumph in the life of Alexander Harris."
"I don't need all the gory details." She *really* didn't. "Just what you think we should know to fight this."
"Well, the one we had got guys to go to her house for after-school work on a science project. She had cages in her basement, and she kept us there until she could get around to the egg-laying, mating, and beheading part of the fun. Once the trap was sprung, she let the glamour down. I think she got off on our fear."
Dawn could tell it still made Xander uncomfortable to talk about the whole episode. "I'm sorry."
"Do you have weapons? The technique should still be the standard slice-and-dice."
"Weapons! Okay, we'll need machetes or axes or something."
"Yeah, and Buffy used bug spray...."
"Good idea."
"...And also a recording of bat sonar to mess up its senses. Your sister? Smarter than she looks."
"Lucky for the world," Dawn smiled. "How is she anyhow?"
"Fine. Haven't seen her today, though. I got a new apartment last week; did you hear? She helped me move all my stuff."
"Good for you. I can't wait to see your new place."
"Can't wait to show it to you. Be careful, Dawnster."
"I will. You, too." Dawn turned off the phone and gave it back to Lex.
"Well?" Lex asked.
"The good news is, the two other missing boys may still be alive. The bad news is, we forgot to pick up weapons and bug spray and recorded bat sonar on the way over here."
"Uh, guys? I've got other bad news." Chloe gestured towards the pool. While Dawn, Chloe, and Lex had been preoccupied with the telephone conversation, Clark and Pete had wandered away. Clark could be seen towering over the rest of the masculine throng, and Pete's bright yellow shirt was occasionally visible as well. "Do we just charge after them?"
"They should be okay, for now," Dawn speculated. "Pete's not, I mean he didn't act like...."
"A virgin?" Chloe interrupted. "Hell, no. But what about Clark? He may not use his head for much, but it sure is pretty, and I'd hate to see it gone." Chloe was trying to make light of the situation, but Dawn thought she sounded worried.
"I have some weapons in the trunk of my car," Lex said. He sounded distracted and sad, and he kept looking at Clark. "Can't we do without the other things? I mean, this is Clark. It's not likely she'll be capable of physically harming him."
Dawn noticed Chloe eyeing Lex curiously. "Let's go, then," Dawn quickly said, hoping to distract the other girl with some action. The two girls and Lex headed out for equipment.
***
Buffy came to in a dark place. What the hell? It was dark and hot and smelled like diesel fuel, and it was vibrating.
She felt all muzzy. Her arm hurt, and her side did, too.
The lethargy and nausea felt like a drug -- the name was right on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite remember it. It was something they gave you in a psychiatric ward, though. She was sure of that, even though some or all of those memories weren't real.
She had been walking to work in the morning. A lady in a van asked her for directions. "Could you come a little closer, dear, I'm hard of hearing." She was *sure* it hadn't been a monster. It was broad daylight, what could....
The lady had hit her with a taser. She thought she remembered now. In the side. Twice.
It was so hot. Buffy wished there were a little more air. Then she passed out again.
***