The Realisation

In a take of Series 6, Episode 1, Miranda realises she's in love with Steve and finds it hard to deal with. I, of course, do not own any of the following characters – Darren Star does. This piece also contains dialogue from Series 6, Episode 1 – To Market, To Market, which was not written by me.

Chapter One - Poop Party

It was a typical Friday night in for me. Typical, these days, being filled with dirty diapers and baby talk rather than Dirty Martini's and flirting. Steve was at the apartment, which was the pretty much the norm. Since Brady was born, he'd become almost a permanent fixture. Not that I minded so much nowadays, the first couple of months he'd manage to piss me off on more than one occasion by randomly turning up to 'hang out' with Brady. But it turned out this baby thing is not as easy as I thought, I had to let down my guard and let some help in. Help being Steve and Magda.

So this typical Friday night with Steve hanging out with his take out food, I was changing Brady; not my favourite thing to do but it's gotta be done and while sweeping the hair from my eyes and managed unwittingly to wipe shit on my forehead.

"Erm, Miranda?" said Steve, hesitantly as I picked Brady up "You got a little doody on your forehead"

"What?" I said slightly horrified "Where?"

I absent mindedly wiping my forehead, I managed to spread yet more poop across my forehead

Steve, amusement spreading across his face, cringed and said, "Oh, no, now you got more, the other side"

"Which side?" I asked impatiently as I swept my hair away from my forehead. Steve began to giggle like a teenage boy.

"Well, Help! It's not funny!" I cried flustered as Steve continued to laugh. "Baby wipe me!"

Still chuckling Steve grabbed a baby wipe. "Baby wipe, baby wipe me," he taunted as he reached across to remove the offending excrement from my forehead.

"Get it off!" I whined, knowing that actually it was quite funny, but not wanting Steve to know I was amused as he carried on mocking my almost pathetic moans "I did not say it like that, just get it off!"

"Aww baby wipe me!" Steve wailed, still mocking me. I wasn't going to let him get away with this!

Grabbing the soiled baby wipe from his hand, the tables turned "Oh yeah?!" I said, my eyes widening "Lets see how you like it!" I went to wipe the poop on his face he turned to run round the living room.

"Miranda, no!" he said as I chased him into the living room with the baby wipe at arm's length and Brady on my shoulder. "Knock it off"

"Knock it off, knock it off!" I taunted as Steve ran to the other side of the dining table

"Brady help!" yelled Steve breathlessly with fake panic in his voice, "Tell mommy to stop chasing daddy"

That's when it dawned on me. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as I looked into Steve's childlike face and realised.... I loved him. I was in love with Steve. I had been all along, since we first split up but had pushed it back to the depths of my unconscious mind. Now, here it was bubbling on the surface. But what was I gonna do now? Yell out "I love you" standing in the living room, mid chase with shit on my face. I panicked.

Steve saw the expression on my face change from fun to freaked out "What?"

I straightened up and tried to look stern and pissed off. "I just don't think it was so fucking funny. You weren't the one with shit on your face" I looked down to my feet knowing that this wasn't the right way to go about things, but knowing that I had to hide how I was really feeling.

Steve looked confused "You were chasing me!" He said loudly

I looked at him, trying not to let the tears well up in my eyes. Here was the man I loved, who I had a baby with, a great man, and I was picking a fight with him.

"Look, I don't have time for this" I said impatiently "I have to get up early" Brady began to cry. It was as if he knew what I was doing. I felt a twinge of guilt but I had to stick to my guns now I'd started, there was no going back. "I don't even know why you're still here" I continued abruptly, "You dropped off the baby hours ago, I don't have time to stand around while you read the paper and order food in. Don't you have a life?!"

Steve looked at me half angry, half hurt "Yeah" he said darkly, "I've got a life" he walked over and kissed Brady on the head "bye Brady" then walked out of the apartment.

I looked desperately at the door and then at Brady before throwing the baby wipe down.

"Fuck"