Disclaimer: Not mine.

I'm aware that some people may wish for a faster paced story here, but we're probably gonna proceed at a fairly slow pace, at least for now. I probably won't actually need to touch on every episode, at least not much. Some are easier to breeze over, or will mostly happen as canon. Even more than in Vigilantes' Dawn, for the first part of 'Season 1' the 'case' side of the story will be very stations of canon. Of course, the actual relationships between the characters will be significantly different, and it will be the focus of the story.

Thanks to Nyame on the Lauriver Discord server for giving this a once-over, and for the Lauriver Discord Server in general for their assistance and support.

Different Queens

By Kylia

Like a Lead Balloon

What did you think was going to happen? Loren didn't have an answer for himself as he walked down the hall to his apartment, trying not to think about the stony, blank expression on Olivia's face as she'd left.

It was something he'd never seen on her. Not before they started dating, not when they'd dated, not even during their periodic breakups in the earlier days of their relationship, before they really committed to one another.

Olivia had always been an open book to him. It sounded a littlesexist to say it like that, but Olivia was a woman driven by her emotions, her passions more than thinking things through sensibly. It was one of the things that had always drawn her to him - her spontaneity, her vivaciousness...

Five years on an island, alone. She had to have thought of me, of us of... what happened when she came home. Somehow, Loren didn't think she expected him to be engaged because...

Of course she wouldn't. He would never have imagined it, until Mckenna. Until she asked him out, and as much to his own surprise as anything else, he'd said yes. And then...

And then he'd fallen in love, and the ache in his heart where the girlfriend he'd thought dead was had lessened. He'd known he'd never forget Olivia, or 'stop loving her' in the abstract sense, but...

He had been able to move on.

And now, here Olivia was bad, and despite his best efforts, he'd hurt her to an extent that -

I've never seen her like that. Never so... closed off.

It hurt, to see her hurt like that, as she had to be, if she wasn't showing it.

But...

Tommy's an ass, as he usually is, but... he was right. That went about as well as could be expected. Sometimes she wondered what had happened to Merlyn, though. Before Olivia had 'died', they'd gotten along nearly as brothers. Tommy always said it was because Loren had become 'less fun' after going to the Academy, then becoming a cop, then detective.

But Loren had always been the stick in the mud of their little trio, compared to Tommy or Olivia. So...

It's not that we're not still friends, but... there was always a sharper edge to Tommy now, than there had been, when they spoke.

Unlocking the front door, Loren stepped inside, closing the door behind him. The entryway was empty, but as he stepped into the living room, he allowed himself a small smile as he saw McKenna look up from her laptop and smile as he came in. She set it down, and stood, her smile fading as she looked him over.

"That obvious?" Loren asked softly.

"I don't suppose I need to ask how it went," she murmured, biting her lower lip and looking at the ground for a moment.

"You don't. It..." Loren let out a long breath. "It - it didn't... I mean..." he cleared his throat. "It went badly." He finally said. There was no way to beat around the bush here, and...

"This, in particular, went over like a lead balloon," Loren went on quietly, holding up his hand with the engagement ring. "I thought... I don't know. I could ease Olivia into it? Not drop it all on her the first day she's back? But Tommy and Theo... I mean, Tommy was a bit of an ass about it, but they were both right to prompt me to say something. Sooner or later, it was never gonna go well."

I'm not usually that much of an idiot.

Loren sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and running his hand down to his chin as he finished speaking, then looked at his fiance, who was biting her lip again.

"I... I hate myself for asking, but I have to," McKenna started softly, and Loren's throat felt tight, guessing what the question was. "Are you still in love with her?"

"'Kenna, no, god no." Loren stood, walking up to her, hands on hers, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. He pulled back for a moment, forehead resting against hers. "I didn't say yes when you asked me out because you were my second choice or... anything like that." Loren hadn't been looking for a new relationship, but... somehow, without him even realizing it, McKenna had asked at the right time, the right way, the right... something.

She was almost as different from Olivia as one could be, and still be his type. She'd asked, he'd said yes, and then...

"And I didn't propose to you while I was still in love with another woman." He added, hoping she believed him. McKenna had been the best thing to happen to him for years. "Yes, I loved Olivia. First love and - she was my friend before that, for years. And assuming she doesn't hate me forever, I want to keep that, to stay friends with her, to... still have her part of my life and to be part of hers." Loren supposed some men might hesitate to say that to their partners, but -

Well, he knew his fiance. She wouldn't try to keep him away from a female friend out of some misplaced jealousy. "But even when I thought she was dead, if I was still in love with her, I would never have dated you, or proposed." Loren kissed her again, running a hand to the back of her neck, pulling back again after several moments.

"I love you, McKenna Hall. Never doubt that." He murmured.

"I'm sorry I - I know it's stupid, but I had to ask," McKenna murmured. "For what it's worth, I hope Olivia lets you keep being her friend." She kissed Loren gently for a long moment, before pulling back as well, extricating herself from his hands.

*I hope so too. God, I hope so.* After everything Olivia must have been through, he wanted to be there for her, as much as she'd let him.

'Will she let me?', is the question.

This... This Was For The Best

Being angry at herself was a common enough theme in her life, these days. The last five years - not to mention most of her life before the Gambit too - was a litany of mistakes, failures, poorly thought out plans and...

I had no right to think that Loren would just... what? Sit there, crying over me forever?

The prospect that Loren would have moved on - it had crossed her mind. It had...

Early on, when she wondered if she would die before she'd ever get home, Olivia had hoped Loren would move on. That he'd find some happiness without her. Of course, she'd had her selfish moments too, where Loren would never move on, always love her, that he'd...

What? Think that you were his forever soulmate, and never be happy?

But... she hadn't expected this. Engagement. Something so... final. Something that proved that Loren really had moved on from her. That -

That he wasn't, couldn't be in love with her anymore. Oliva knew Loren wouldn't have proposed to someone if he was still in love with someone else. He would never put a woman through that sort of emotional infidelity.

But you did put him through actual infidelity, that one time.

And that was it, wasn't it? The real kicker.

Because she didn't deserve Loren. She never had. The second thoughts that had led her to the Gambit in the first place? It had all come from that.

And now... after everything she'd done, everything she'd become...

It's better this way. For both of you. She knew it was true, no matter how much it hurt. She just needed to accept that, internalize it.

With a quiet thanks to the driver, Olivia got out of the car in front of the SCPD's downtown headquarters, nodding for him to drive off. Over the phone, Tommy's tone had made it clear he knew exactly why she said they should meet here, before 'doing the city'. Without actually confirming Loren could or would be coming with them.

Olivia entered the building, passing through the lobby and walking up to the front desk, putting on her best, patented 'Olivia Queen smile'. At least she should still be able to keep up that act, charming her way through things.

"Hi." She offered to the woman at the desk. "I'm here to see Detective Lance? Loren, I mean. Is he available?"

"Let me check for you," the clerk nodded, picking up the phone. Olivia turned away, trying to keep her breathing even.

This is for the best. She told herself again. There was no way she could have - Loren was a cop. A Detective. If -

She would never be able to do what she needed to do it...

"Well, well, well." Olivia turned at the sound of a familiar voice behind her, though one she'd never heard with much dripping disdain before. "Olivia Queen, in the flesh. Last time I saw you in here, you'd been throwing up all over that cop car."

Loren's father looked...

He looked much the same, really. Maybe a little more 5 o'clock shadow, more bags under his eyes, but... the same man who'd always never really approved of her dating Loren.

"Detective Lance." Olivia kept her voice level. He has a right to hate me. But it didn't make that sneer on his face any more pleasant.

"I suppose money really does buy miracles, doesn't it? Back from the dead, the prodigal daughter returns." He stepped closer to her - Olivia stood her ground, meeting his gaze. "Did you even try to save her, Queen? Did you even try to save my daughter?" He growled, getting in her face. "Or did you just-"

"Dad!" Loren's voice cut through, interrupting Quentin before Olivia could do something she probably shouldn't have, like force him aside. "What the hell?"

Quentin pulled away, looking past Olivia to his son. "Just making sure she understands-"

"I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, Dad, it's not Olivia's fault that Sara was on that yacht." Loren walked up to Olivia, his hand moving towards hers a moment, before pulling back. Quentin snorted and rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath as he stalked off.

"I'm sorry. He..." Loren licked his lips and trailed off. Despite herself, Olivia couldn't help but look Loren over. He looked much the same as well - his hair was a bit shorter, not going down his shoulders anymore, losing a bit of that romance-novel cover look he'd always had, but it suited him. And she could see how he filled out his shirt and suit even more than he had five years ago. But otherwise, he looked much the same too. Older, wiser. A few years of experience on the force... but still. The same Loren.

But it was that kind, gentle look in his eyes that really proved to Olivia that this was still the same Loren she'd always known.

I hope Mckenna understands just how lucky she is.

"Your dad isn't wrong. If I hadn't-" Olivia started, but Loren cut her off.

"Olivia, no. You invited Sara, Sara chose to get on. It's not like you sank the damn boat." Loren's voice was stern, almost angry, and then he cleared his throat. "Dad's blaming you because it's easier than grieving, and better than running away to the bottle. But he's also taken it out on your brother."

Olivia inhaled sharply, one hand tightening into a fist. "You mean- what did Theo do - was Theo arrested?" Theo did nothing to Sara, or to- If Quentin had done something to her brother...

"No, no," Loren made a small cutting gesture with his hand, refuting the idea. "I just... just things he's said, when I've been around Theo and then..." he trailed off again.

Olivia relaxed a little, but she would be finding out what Quentin had said to Theo.

"I - I came because I wanted to apologize." Olivia looked around the lobby. Several people were very much trying to look like they weren't watching them, but... "Can you take a break? Coffee run? My treat?"

Loren looked around the lobby as well, then nodded, offering her a small smile. "I'll never turn down a chance at something better than station coffee."

Once they were out onto the busy streets, walking to the nearest coffee shop, only half a block away, they could talk without people staring, everyone busy going on their way.

"You don't need to apologize, Olivia," Loren started, "I should have-"

"No, I do." Olivia interrupted, firmly. "I..." Olivia bit her lip. There was so much she could never tell Loren. So much he couldn't know, so much he couldn't understand. So much she had to keep secret, so that there was no chance he could use it to...

If he realizes how dangerous the Island and everything else was, what I had to...

They walked in silence for a few moments as Olivia tried to say it right.

"There were times, on the Island. When I thought I'd never get home." Olivia said, finally, as they got closer to the shop. "And I thought about you. I didn't - I didn't want you to be miserable and alone the rest of your life. I just... I guess I just hadn't prepared myself for actually coming home and realizing that it had actually happened."

Olivie needed Loren to understand that... that she understood. That she hadn't expected - bar those most selfish of moments - that Loren would just be waiting for her.

"You still don't need to apologize, Olivia. I should have said something sooner. And... I mean..." Loren swallowed. "I love McKenna, Olivia. I would never have proposed to her if-"

"You were still in love with me, dead or not." Olivia finished, and Loren flushed a little, nodding. "I figured." She inhaled. "You forget how long I've known you," she added, forcing a small smile on her face. "You'd never do that to a woman." It's better this way.

If she said it enough times, it would be true.

"I - I just needed a minute to... process, I guess." Olivia admitted. "The most important thing is that you're happy."

"Olivia..." Loren started softly, and Olivia hated the pity in Loren's eyes. It wasn't - it wasn't patronizing, but Loren could tell that she was... that she was hurting.

Even if he wasn't engaged... Olivia had to keep reminding herself that she and Loren couldn't have gotten back together. She had things she had to do. A mission.

"You don't need to pretend you don't - that you just -" Loren cleared his throat. "I know this can't be easy for you."

"But it is what it is. And before we ever dated, you were my friend first." Olivia pointed out. She inhaled. "I just - I just wanted to make it clear to you that... I understand. And I hope you're still my friend."

"Always," Loren confirmed, and Olivia ignored the twinge in her chest, the tightening of her throat.

"Good." They reached the coffee shop, and managed to luck out with no line. "Caffè mocha and a green tea." Olivia turned to look at Loren, only realizing after a moment that she was actually smiling again, unforced this time. "I figure you don't get a lot of your favorite way to take coffee at the station."

"Are you kidding? Even if we could afford better coffee machines, we'd still drink battery acid." Loren laughed softly. "My training officer used to say that 'real coffee should melt your taste buds'." Loren raised an eyebrow. "Why green tea?"

"I haven't had caffeine in five years, Loren," Olivia pointed out. Which wasn't true, but - "Besides, mostly I drank coffee when I was hungover." She'd never needed it to stay up for a night at the club, or the party. And I won't need it for a hangover ever again.

Loren nodded, smiling. "Ah yes, when you drank instant coffee as black as possible."

"Not all of us are snobs. I'd have probably liked the battery acid cop coffee, those times," Olivia countered. It was...

It was easy, to fall back into this pattern. Too easy. But-

She'd always been able to be herself around Loren, but she - she couldn't get too comfortable. She cleared her throat, as her name was called and she grabbed her tea and handed Loren his coffee and they moved to a corner table. Olivia chose the seat that gave her a view of both the entrance and the back door into the kitchen.

"So." She started, ready to change the topic. "You did become a cop... and you're a detective already."

"Just about record time," Loren admitted, pride and a bit of shame at said pride warring in his expression and voice. "One of the fastest moves from Academy to detective in the history of the state."

"Doesn't surprise me." Olivia offered. There was nothing Loren couldn't do if he set his mind to it.

Except maybe cook. He'd tried to cook for her birthday once.

Once.

"Is it everything you thought it would be?"

Loren took a sip from his coffee, looking past Olivia, staring off into space rather than the wall behind her.

"It is. And... it isn't. Dad always complained about the paperwork, the hurry up and wait, the... the godawful way some bastard walks because you just can't get the evidence." Loren laughed darkly, hollowly. "Or because they have a lawyer with more greed than morals." Loren shook his head, "It's one thing when people use money to - I mean, you got off on a lot of misdemeanors, and that paparazza you punched... but that's one thing."

Olivia cleared her throat, sipping at her tea, unsure what to say. It wasn't like she didn't know she got away with a lot. Though I'm not apologizing for punching that woman. Not after she'd dumped water all over her shirt so she could get a 'wet T-shirt picture' that showed off Olivia's breasts.

"No, I mean it. It - it's manipulating the system, but that's one thing. It's the people who rape, or murder and then use their fancy lawyers to get away with it. Steal ungodly amounts of money, and then kill the people trying to get it back from them. Bastards like Adam Hunt, with judges in their back pocket."

OIivia recognized that name. I can't start on the list now. If I start now, if I - people will draw a connection between the suddenly returned Olivia Queen and the mysterious archer. Sure, she had a plan to deflect attention anyway, but she couldn't take stupid risks.

But if Loren was looking into a man on the List...

They were the kinds of people who wouldn't hesitate to kill a cop investigating them.

"So you just hate it?" Loren had wanted to be a detective pretty much the whole time Olivia had known him.

"No... not even close." Loren laughed. "I hate the... politics. The criminals who get off. But - when I can get justice for the families of victims, hell, when I can make sure that the kind of person that would have gotten railroaded into a plea deal for a crime they didn't commit gets off because they're innocent..." Loren took a small bracelet, with several charms - a unicorn, a star, a rainbow out from an inside jacket pocket. "My first solo murder case was a single father. Left behind a seven year old girl. She saw the whole thing, but the killer had a mask. Three weeks to catch him. Every night, that little girl woke up screaming that he'd come for her, finish the job. I couldn't get her her father back, but I could... I could make sure the man who killed her father couldn't come for her. She gave me this, the day the bastard was sentenced."

Loren put it back into his pocket, blinking back eyes that were momentarily watery. "I keep it so I can remember that for all the times all the crap that comes with the job, I am helping. I am making this city a better place."

Loren took another drink of his coffee, then his phone rang. He pulled it out and answered. "Lance." A pause. "What?! No. No. Don't - don't even - no, don't let that bastard touch anything. I'm on my way." Loren hung up, downing the rest of his coffee in two quick gulps. "Olivia - I - I know I said I'd be able to do the city with you and Tommy-"

"But something's come up?"

"One of Adam Hunt's accountants was just found dead in one of the bathrooms of his building. Bastard's cleaning house. Is Tommy supposed to meet you at the station?"

"In ten minutes or so, yeah," Olivia answered, after checking her brand new phone. Her mother's insistence. Olivia stood after Loren did, and then her ex leaned in, hugging her for a moment - Olivia, stunned, could barely return the gesture, before Loren pulled away.

"I'll walk you back to the station. I..." Loren cleared his throat. "I'm glad you don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, Loren," Olivia promised him. Never.

It was better this way.

This is for the best.