A/N: Now I'm writing HP fanfiction, Marauders to be specific. I got the title from seeing one of my sister's books [bought, not that she wrote it herself] entitled The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to Life. I think that was the title, more or less. Thank you to those who clicked on the link! Read and review. You can do one or the other...though it would make no sense to review when you didn't read...

THE BASIC INFORMATION:

-Last year of Hogwarts for the Marauders and Lily
-I will alternate views every chapter
-Might have slight OOCness but we don't even know how they really were so it doesn't matter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. He and his fellow cast are from the incredible mind of J.K. Rowling. Long live the genius! Oh, and I might've used some of the lines from the books so that doesn't belong to me either.

The Ultimate Players' Guidebook to Womanizing

Chapter 1 – A Red Lily

-James's POV-

"Oi, Prongs, shouldn't you be in the Head compartment instead of stuffing your face with Chocolate Frogs?" Sirius asked me, popping some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans into his mouth.

"Oh yeah," I said in realization. "Whatever, I'm sure the Head Girl won't mind if I'm..." I glanced at my wrist. Then it hit me I wasn't wearing my watch. "Uhhh...anyone know what time it is?"

Remus looked at his own wrist. "It is approximately 1545 hours," he said.

"What?" said Peter blankly. [A/N: I must be the first author to be giving stupid Wormtail a line THIS early in the fanfic...amazing]

"Three forty-five, in other words."

"Holy shit, I'm practically five hours late!" I jumped up immediately and slid open the door. "See you guys, later!" I added before running toward the Head Compartment.

Meanwhile...

"He's going to get a kick out of the Head Girl when he finds out who it is," Sirius smirked, closing the door. "Literally and phrase-wise."

"Oh, and I suppose you know who it is?" Remus said, shuffling the Exploding Snap cards.

"Of course, Moony. I have my sources."

"Never fear, James Potter is here!" I said as I burst into the Head Compartment ten minutes later, posing triumphantly with my fist pumped in the air. The back of a person's head faced me, a person with long, silky dark red hair. "Sorry, I'm late." The person turned away from the window to reveal the face of no other than—

The breathtaking—

Omnipotent—

Gorgeous—

And, um, angry and scary—

The one and only—

Lily Evans.

"What are you doing in the Head Compartment, Potter?" she asked, glaring at me.

"I'm Head Boy," I replied in an uh-DUH voice, pointing at the badge pinned to my shirt.

Lily stood up from her seat and walked over to me. I noticed she was wearing this lacey, pale blue shirt that showed her shoulders but still was decent enough to hide everything else. Though, if she bent over slightly maybe I could see a little more...

Stop thinking that way, James! my inner conscience said. You should not be thinking like that if you want to get her in bed. But she's got such a nice body—No buts, young man. And no, not her butt!

I was too busy arguing with myself to notice that Lily was standing right in front of me and studying at the badge on my chest.

"Er...Lilykins, what are you doing?" I asked, blushing slightly since she was indeed bent over slightly and her face was just a few inches away from my chest. I tried my best to not look down her shirt but failed miserably.

"Well, it's the only explanation," Lily said as if she just figured out how to cure cancer. She stood up straight and looked me in the eye though I was taller than her by quite a bit. Her green eyes seemed more catlike than ever.

"What? You're not making any sense, Lily dear."

She glared at me. "I told you not to give me any nicknames. Lily or just Evans will be fine."

"But Lilykins sounds so much cuter." I grinned and stooped a little so my mouth was practically breathing into her ear. "You know you like the sound of it," I whispered huskily into her ear.

Lily merely pushed me away and stared me in the eye again. "Potter, you should really know by now that I am not attracted to your stupid hormone driven actions," she sighed. I pouted and gave her my best innocent façade. She laughed and smacked me upside the head.

"Oww, what was that for?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head. I was grinning anyway because for the first time, Lily actually laughed at one of my "stupid, retarded, idiotic, humorless jokes," as she put it.

"For taking Remus's old prefect badge and jinxing it so it would say Head Boy," Lily replied.

"What makes you think that?" I stopped smiling. "Why the fuck would I want to be Head Boy? It takes all the fun out of life."

"Well, that's the only explanation," she repeated. "How else would you be able to get the Head Boy position?"

"I dunno! Maybe Dumbledore's finally gone senile." I threw my hands up in the air. "If you want proof, I've still got my letter with me." I reached into my pants pockets and pulled out a very crumpled piece of parchment. Lily snatched it out of my hands while I was trying to smooth it out. She squinted at the words and began to read out loud.

"'Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that have earned the position of Head Boy for your final year here at Hogwarts. I trust you to use your new responsibility wisely since you will have more students looking up to you. Enclosed is your usual list of books for the new school year. Good luck, James.

Signed, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.'"

"My God, who knew his name was so damn long," Lily said, folding my letter. She gave it back to me and I held her smooth, pale hands in my rough ones before taking one of hands and pressing my lips gently against her delicate fingertips. She immediately pulled back and—

OH.

MY.

FUCKING.

GOD.

WAS SHE BLUSHING!?!

SCORE!

Lily quickly turned her face away and covered up her blush by being angry.

"God, what the hell is wrong with you, Potter?" she asked coldly, though her emerald eyes were still blazing with desire. "Do you do that to every girl you want to fuck or what?"

I wasn't sure how to reply to that. The answer was yes, but no way was I going to tell her that. The uncomfortable silence was settling in was a good enough answer.

I heard her snort in disgust. Then I felt a strong grip on my arm. I turned to see Lily-

Um, really, really mad.

"You Casanova!" She shoved me out of the room and closed the door, locking it.

Guess I have no choice but to go back to the guys. Jeez she PMS-s over every little thing. That Lily Evans...My Lily Evans. She would never go out with me, that's what made her so damn feisty and more irresistible. Her feisty-ness added to the challenge. I was going to shag that Lily Evans if she's the last girl I do until I graduate from Hogwarts. I had to get her to trust me first.

And I knew the perfect person who could help me.

I burst into the compartment, clutching the stitch in my side.

"You've - got - to - help - me!" I panted.

"With what, James?" asked Remus.

"Why aren't you in the Head Compartment?" added Sirius, who was still eating more Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"Did you get a kick out of the new Head Girl?" put in Peter.

"Well, Lily kind of pushed me out instead of kicking," I said sheepishly, having caught my breath.

"Were you being a perverted jackass again?" Remus sighed, passing out the Exploding Snap cards.

"Well..."

"I take that as a yes."

"That's why you have got to help me. I want that Lily Evans. Problem is, she doesn't like me-"

"Gosh, James, I wonder why," Remus said sarcastically. "How could she not like you when you hit on her every five seconds and make it so damn obvious you want to do it with her?"

"So how am I supposed to win her over?"

"Become her knight in shining armor."

"And how do I do that?"

"Stop chasing anything with a nice rack and a pair of legs," Sirius said in a bored tone, his cards exploding and covering Peter in soot.

"Hypocrite," I spat.

"But you have to let her know you'll stay completely loyal to her," Remus said.

"So that means no more skirt chasing," added Sirius.

"Even Sirius understands."

"That just means Sirius is a bigger pervert," I said.

"But I know my way with the ladies," Sirius smiled, "unlike some idiots."

"Shut up. But thanks, Remus, you are the ultimate guidebook for men to understand women."

A/N: And that is the end of chapter 1! I hoped you liked it. Review and it'll help me think of another chapter! =D Who exactly are Sirius's sources? Will we ever find out? WHO KNOWS!

This will be L/J so don't you worry!

Click the pretty lavender button down there and send me a review, or e-mail me! Just tell me what you think!

And if you like Inuyasha [the show], please check out my other fanfic!

REVIEW! But please don't flame! :D

But thank you anyway if you decided to read this!