This chapter has two very special things about it. One is that it has a lemonish scene in it. For those who don't like to read that stuff, I appologize right now by saying that unlike most stories, the lemon is actually plot relevant and very important to the story. In some parts it's graphic in a way, but it just sets up the feeling for what's been going on in Spike and Faye's relationship. It's also why I named the chapter what I did. Once again, I appologize, but if you want to get a real feeling for the story, you're going to have to read the lemon.
Another special thing about the lemon. It's my first one that I've *finished*. I'm proud; I think it came out pretty well even though I still could fix a few things. That's where you all come in. I seriously need feed back for this, so I would appreciate it if you left reviews. I don't mind the ones that say, "OMG! I love this! Write more!" but on this topic, I would really like more in depth feedback like what you like about it, or what you think I did wrong. It would be very helpful. Enough of my babble. Start reading.
"… Let's just get one thing straight."
"… Yea?"
"I want no strings attached."
"Okay?"
"No, I'm serious… No strings."
"…"
"Hey! Are you listening to me?"
"No strings…"
"… What was that?"
"No strings."
"Right, good… No strings…"
"…"
"Spike?"
"Shut up and go to sleep, Faye."
She had. By that morning, he was gone.
Faye lightly groaned as she turned over onto her side in her bed. She couldn't remember the dream she just had, but she certainly could remember all the events of the night before. Like a tidal wave, they crashed into her brain, only managing to amplify that already pounding headache that she had. Slapping her forehead, she faintly grunted to herself. She'd gotten drunk again.
The only intention that she originally had was to have a couple of drinks. Well, apparently, a couple became a few, a few turned into several, and several easily translated into a shit load. She didn't have any idea what Jet was going to do to her when he finally got around to scolding her for it, but she figured that it wasn't going to be anything good. He seemed fine when he came to pick her up, but at that time he always seemed fine. It wasn't until the morning after that she really became worried.
Sluggishly, she grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a loosely fitting shirt. It wasn't anything flattering by any means, but it would have to do for the day. She wasn't in the mood to dig through her closet for something decent to wear, and she was in even less of a mood to have anyone mistaking her for a street hooker if she decided to leave the ship that day.
When she walked out into the hallway, she sighed to herself when she happily noted that it was Jet-free. No Jet was a good Jet at this point. Her bare feet softly patted against the steel floor as she quickly yet lightly walked to the bathroom. She reeked of vodka and rum, and desperately needed a good, long shower. She quickly opened the bathroom door before darting into the room and shutting the door behind her. Thankfully, she didn't slam the door. That would have drawn too much unwanted attention to herself that she really didn't need.
Turning on the shower, she slipped her clothes off her weary body before stepping under the water's still warming spray. Normally, she would have waited until the water was hot, but cold water always woke her up faster. Closing her eyes, she braced her hands against the cool wall in front of her and let the droplets of water slide down her back. This was by far the highlight of her day. After this, it was almost assured that it was all downhill.
Over the years, she trained herself to get up before anyone else so that she could easily get an early hot shower. With Ed maturing faster than either Jet or she had expected, it was now her instead of Spike she had to fight with about the hot water. Since Ed was also a female, she was twice as bad as Spike, who took a third of the amount of time that Ed did. There had been many small civil wars until Jet stepped in and bitched at both of them. As a result, a new water heater was installed. It still eventually turned into cold water like all water heaters did, but at least this one was better than the old one.
Right now, all she cared about was feeling the water and having it calm her nerves. Every time she took a shower, it felt as if more of the hard parts of her life washed away with the dirt on her skin. She had, at one point, even thought that her prolonged affair with Spike swirled down the drain as well. It was amazing what a pair or subtly mismatched, deep, chestnut brown eyes could do to a person. It was so cliché, but she really felt that she could drown in his eyes. She had so many times before. They just captured her in some mystical way that she couldn't even explain. She noticed the difference even before he pointed it out to her.
She was thinking about him way too much again. He had that affect on people sometimes, but damnit, it was just getting too out of hand. He had woken up, so what? It wasn't like he would jump her and go for another roll in the hay again. He was obviously still hung up about Julia's death. That fact was painfully clear every time she even looked at him. She saw it while he was sleeping, and now it basically slapped her in the face since he was awake. It made her wonder if he would care even half as much if any of them had died. If she were to die… Probably not; she would never be his fallen angel.
Did she even want to be? What did she expect; Spike to wake up, instantly confess his previously unrequited love, and then they'd go off into the sunset, bounty hunting and raising a family of their own? Right, she didn't even love Spike. It had always been about sex. Fucking Faye became another tension releaser if training didn't help. She was a workout, and how did she almost forget it? She was either being really stupid or her memory was starting to fade on her all over again.
Quickly deciding that the 'soothing' shower wasn't being all that soothing, she stepped out, turned off the water, and wrapped a towel around her hair. She pulled on the shirt and the sweatpants without bothering to towel herself off. It wouldn't matter either way; her other clothes were going to leave little to the imagination anyway, so marginally wet clothing shouldn't be too much for anyone to handle. She quickly towel dried her hair before vainly trying to comb out the tangles with her fingers. Giving up on it after a minute, she tossed the towel onto the ground before turning to the faucet and turning it on. She splashed her face with a handful of cold water.
With the water still dripping off her face, she looked up into the mirror in front of her and noticed the puffiness of her eyes. Her head was hurting less, but her whole body felt worn out. She knew she had to cut down on the drinking, and the after effects were some of the reasons. That and that it always made her hungry. God, she was so hungry right then, so very hungry…
"Damnit, Jet," Faye cursed to herself as she glared into the empty refrigerator. It had been a whole day since she ate last, and her stomach announced that fact with a loud rumble. Grimacing to herself, she peered over at Ein's empty food bowl that was lying near by. Ed and he had left only a couple weeks ago, a few days before she returned. It had affected the whole crew in one way or another, but no one was really willing to show it. They didn't expect to miss them as much as they did. Jet had just gotten around to washing off the goodbye sign that Ed had left on the BeBop only yesterday. When she first asked him about it, she clearly remembered the look on his face. He had been so sad…
Letting the glare fall off her face, she remembered how quiet it was all the time now. The silence seemed to almost suffocate everyone. It was still that way now, but at least it was just a little bit more comfortable. Things went back to how it was before Ed and Ein. The ship had never seemed so big, yet it still felt like they hadn't left. The empty food bowl proved that. Maybe they might come back; it might have been the reason why Jet never got rid of the bowl. Not even Spike dared to touch it, but Faye never knew. She had only hoped.
Jet was out getting food with the money they got from their last six million wulong bounty, and getting him was more difficult than they had originally thought. Nevertheless, money was money. It didn't really matter in the end. It was all they needed. They got their air of confidence back, and everything started to turn out all right. She even started to feel lucky again.
Faye still felt lucky that day. She had two million wulong, so why didn't she just go out and gamble it all away? It was what they both expected of her anyway, and she wanted to gain some extra cash. Unlike what Spike thought, she didn't always need to cheat to win. Cheating was just a guarantee. Sometimes, you needed to win, other times you didn't. Playing dice with Jet was a need to win situation, and that meant she needed to cheat to get him to strip. Faye laughed to herself at the memory. Those were good times. Winning always created good times.
That's what she decided to go do since she didn't feel like picking a fight with Spike. Something had changed; it just wasn't fun anymore. Anyway, it didn't really matter; she didn't know where he was or what he was doing. In the end, it all didn't matter. He always went off to do his own thing; she would do hers. Bending over, she took one last look into the fridge. It was empty now, but it would soon be full when she came back, just like her pockets and stomach.
Before she had the chance to stand back up straight, she felt warm air smoothly dance down her neck. She instantly froze and drew in a quick breath. All the muscles and nerves in her body seemed to tense up all at once, but they relaxed just as swiftly when a tan arm carelessly wrapped around her waist. It tenderly pulled her against a hot body that stood behind her. Resting her head back against a firm, muscled chest, she felt fine lips gently brush against her ear.
"You shouldn't be allowed to bend over while wearing that, Romani," a low and satiny voice whispered into her ear. Another arm found its way around her waist as a heated face pressed itself against her neck.
"Spike," she gasped when both of his hands delicately grasped her waist. He effortlessly pulled her against him harder, unconsciously breathing in her scent. She always smelt like flowers to him, rare wild flowers, and it suited her so well. Faye automatically grew weak in the knees when she felt his desire for her snuggly pressed against her lower back. Softly kissing her neck, he smiled to himself, loving the feel of the subtle vibration that it caused. He then moved his lips back toward her ear.
"It's just the two of us here now, you know," he faintly breathed, while lightly massaging her bare skin on the sides of her waist. "You don't have to worry about Jet. He'll be gone for a couple of hours." Warmth flowed through her body, especially to her face. It was obvious what he wanted at that moment. Memories of the last time this happened flowed through her mind. He had deserted her after it was all said and done. They agreed on no attachments, no strings, but it still had hurt. Did she really want to risk abandonment all over again?
As if hearing her thoughts, he gave her a reassuring hug and buried his face in the space between her neck and shoulder. "I'm sorry," he mumbled against her skin. "I shouldn't have left so quickly." She placed a thin hand over one of his and squeezed it lightly. It was her way of accepting his apology, and he had known it. He simply kissed her neck and rocked her back and forth at a slow and steady pace. She couldn't help it; in his arms, she felt safe.
"Still," she began with a barely noticeable hesitation, "you mean here?" His hands started roaming on her body with a mixture of firm and gentle caresses. Lips were now kissing down her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side. Faye was still filled with a mixture of emotions, but she was being persuaded more with every kiss on her skin. A very faint moan passed her lips when she felt on of his hands travel up her body gently cupping one of her breasts.
"Yes." He bit down onto her shoulder, hard enough to cause a hint of pain, yet soft enough to cause mostly pleasure. Closing her eyes, she let out a throaty moan. She braced her hands on the fridge as she arched her back causing her to firmly press against his waist. Bowing her head slightly, she tantalizingly moved her hips against his manhood.
Faye didn't miss the soft growl that her actions had caused. Grinning devilishly to herself, she asked in a deeply seductive voice, "Now?" She hissed when his hands gripped her body tighter as he stifled another moan. The hand that was on her breast squeezed her roughly while his other hand was busily unfastening her shorts. There was a hint of urgency in his actions, but she didn't mind. They might have both been helpless romantics at heart, but they weren't in love, and more importantly they weren't generally gentle.
After unfastening her shorts, he slipped his hand inside of them while leaning over her so that he could kiss her back. His hand smoothly spread her legs a little further apart as he lightly kissed her shoulder blades. His lips were constantly like fire on her skin, lighting it up with his small nips and his hot tongue playing over her back. This was all just a form of distraction used against her so that she wouldn't notice him sliding two of his fingers into her.
Still kissing her back, he slid his fingers half way out again while his other hand was now massaging the breast that he still held captive. It was when he bit down on her shoulder blade that he slammed his fingers back into her, loving the feeling of all her muscles tensing beneath him. Her eyes snapped open as pleasure soared though her body and her mouth hanged open as a cry came from her throat.
She hadn't seen that one coming. Maybe she should have, but she didn't. He wasn't like this last time. Last time he was slower, gentler, but this wasn't the time for that. Still, she didn't complain. She was loving the way that he knew exactly what to do to manipulate her body.
"Now," he growled huskily against her skin. He worked and moved his fingers inside of her at an agonizingly slow pace. Tilting her head back, she let out another loud moan. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched her reaction. He found out that she was extremely responsive to even the lightest of touches, so it didn't surprise him when he drove his fingers deeper into her that she bucked harshly against him. He was planning on taking her to new heights within the next few hours, and he didn't plan on stopping until he did.
Faye couldn't lie to herself; it felt amazing in almost every way, and the pain caused by him biting her only added to the pleasure. At the moment, she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to, and she certainly didn't want to. He always had a way of making her lose control, even when he didn't touch her. He had power like that, but the only comforting thought was that she could do the same to him.
Slowly but surely, she was getting lost in the sensation of him touching her until suddenly a thought hit her. Her whole body seemed to stop in one instant. If he were to look at her face, he would have noticed a hidden look of panic in her eyes. "Spike," she hissed at him. Turning her head to the side, she tried to get a better look at him from the corner of her eye. He looked up at her, his eyes showing confusion, yet they were glazed over with passion. He didn't really understand why she had stopped.
"What if Jet somehow finds us like this?" she asked with a small hint of apprehension in her voice.
Spike rested her forehead against the valley in between her shoulders blades and let out a sigh to scorch her skin. Was that all she was worried about? He was worried that he had seriously hurt her. Slowly, he withdrew his fingers from her, not missing the faint moan that came from her. Gently grasping her waist, he spun her around to that he was towering over her, staring down into her jade eyes. He noticed that her eyes were just as clouded with lust as his were, but he could now see the fear and contemplation written in them.
Her cheeks were flushed a bright rosy pink. He smiled down at her, lightly brushing a few loose strands of her violet hair out of her eyes. His hand moved up her face before removing her yellow headband and tossing it to the floor, causing all the hair it held back to fall into her face. He was ready to admit that she was beautiful like this. Hell she was always beautiful, damn beautiful, in fact. Her outfit just seemed to hide that from most eyes. When his hand lightly brushed a finger down her cheek, he spoke to her.
"Faye, do you really care if Jet finds us? Sure, it might have been more of an issue if Ed were still here. Jet would get over it though. He'll have to." He had a point, but she was more focused on his eyes. It was then that she realized that there was something odd about them. One of them reflected so much emotion and life, and the other reflected nothing at all. Nothing but her image. They were slightly different colors as well. A beautiful pair of mismatched eyes he had.
He noticed that her eyes were locked with his, and chose that moment to let his gaze wander over her face. Her eyes were in fact a few shades darker, and he already picked up on the now pinkish color of her skin, but it was her full red lips that captivated him. They were barely parted, but he could feel the gentle puffs of air brush across his face when she breathed. Seeing her lips like that rekindled the lust that he had for her, and she didn't miss the change of mood. Leaning forward, he came close enough so that his lips were just lightly touching hers.
"Right now, I just don't give a damn."
In the back of her mind, Faye knew it was a bad idea. By tonight, he would ignore her, by tomorrow, he would leave her again, and in a couple of days, the cycle would repeat all over again. He seemed like the type of person that would string you along, supposedly giving you what you wanted while taking everything he wanted from you, and when it's all over, he hangs you out to dry. She was going to be used, and she knew it. The fact that it was so plainly obvious only made it worse, yet the sex was incredible; she wouldn't lie to herself about that. Even so, it meant waking up alone, acting like nothing happened, and moving on with her life. It made her feel like the cheap slut everyone mistook her for. Her pride was going to be bruised and bleeding when she was in the right state of mind.
That was the point, though; she wasn't in the right state of mind. Like with all other sane thoughts, logic and reason flew out of her mind when she got lost in his damnable eyes. Her logic behind her actions was that he needed her. More importantly, her reason was they both needed this. She didn't fully get his logic on it, but she needed to know if she really felt alive. Faye didn't want to feel so lost and dead inside.
Spike saw the conflict in her eyes before he bent down to capture her lips with his own. He had this strange urge to possess her that he couldn't quell. It wasn't anything close to what he felt for Julia, but for today, it was enough. She easily fell into his embrace, letting him have his way with her. It didn't matter what wonders or horrors were going to meet them in the morning. What mattered was now and for just a short while when they were with each other, their own pasts didn't exist. It was a long put off release they both needed, wanted, and had to have.
It was more than enough.
At first the kiss was slow, tender, and questioning. He didn't want to force or rush her into anything. That would only ruin it all. He needed to know if she was accepting or willing to do this no matter what the case. The first time was slow, yet it was a rash decision. If they were going to do this, regardless of how much more intense it was bound to be, they had to understand what they were both getting into. Sure, they had spoken words about it before, but words were just words. This held more power and meaning.
Long moments of gentle kissing passed before Spike finally felt her bury her hands in his hair, pulling him tighter against her. It was the only sign he needed. Grasping the back of her head, he entangled his skillful fingers into her short, violet hair as he crushed his mouth against hers with an almost bruising force. He fully took over the situation when he reached behind her, shut the refrigerator door, and then slammed her back against it. She moaned into his mouth, roughly grabbing his hair with one hand while sliding his jacket off his body with the other. He removed his arms from her just long enough to have the jacket fall carelessly to the floor.
His hands were back on her in an instant, unfastening the front of her extremely revealing top. He removed her hands off of himself before pushing the skimpy shirt off her shoulders. Smirking to himself, he noticed the pale pink flush that covered her whole body. He knew she didn't wear anything underneath her shirt; there wasn't enough room for it, but then again, she always did manage to sometimes hide a gun in there. He grabbed her chin, tilting it upward to claim her lips again before letting his hands caress the length of her body once more.
Faye's lithe hands nimbly unbuttoned his yellow shirt before letting her fingertips dance over the newly bared skin. She felt his muscles bunch and tense under her touch before relaxing once again. His strength and figure had always impressed her. Thin fingers slowly moved up his chest, over his shoulders, and down his arms, removing the cotton material as they went.
His lips were traveling from her own, down her chin, back to her neck lightly nipping the tender flesh he sought out there. Letting out a contented sigh, she wrapped one of her long legs around his waist as their waists met. It wasn't long before they were moving against one another with his teeth digging into her neck while her finger nails were biting into his back. Both of them were quietly moaning, knowing their actions were only a prelude to what was yet to come…
"Faye, are you listening to me?" Jet barked. It was the third time he had called her name, and he knew the water in there had been running for far too long. He had checked her room about an hour ago and knew she was in the bathroom when he heard the sound of rushing water. She normally took only half an hour, but when a full hour had passed, he began to worry. Damn the woman for making him give a shit, but he did.
When her head snapped up to look away from the flowing water and at him, he suddenly got a pang of regret for yelling at her. Her eyes were so wide, dark, and lost. She looked like a mixture of being confused, hopeless, and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Needless to say, he was shocked and wondered what the Hell was wrong with her. He hadn't seen that look for nearly two years, and it was a shock to the system to see it again.
"Faye," he asked as softly as his gruff voice could go, "are you okay?" Her eyes changed back to normal after a few seconds of silence as if it had never happened. Turning her head back to the running faucet, she shut it off and grabbed the towel that she had thrown onto the floor.
"I'm fine," she replied emotionlessly as she dried off her hands with the towel. She wasn't convincing to him, let alone herself. "If you're going to scold me for last night, I would prefer it if you didn't right now. I have enough on my mind." Her curt speech wasn't anything new to him, but it was just out of character at the moment. She hadn't spoken to him like that in a long time, a very long time.
She finished toweling off her hands and then slung it over her shoulder carelessly. Turning around, she picked up her other clothes off the floor. It was then that she again focused her attention on Jet, standing there as if waiting to be dismissed.
"I didn't come here to talk to you about that, but it will be brought up later today," he warned. She nodded and yawned seemingly uninterested as she leaned her elbows back against the sink. She was putting up a front before him, which he didn't like in the least. A frown clearly showed up on his face. Still, he could tell by the look in her eyes, now wasn't the time to discuss it. He continued talking when she gave him her infamous, 'So what do you want?' look.
"Ed found me a somewhat easy three million wulong bounty. I'll probably be out for the day-"
"And you need me to play Mother while you're gone," she cut in before he got the finish. Her eyebrow was arched as she gave him a questioning look. He never let her do this after a night of drinking. He knew the liquor was still too strong in her system, so it would affect her judgment. He simply grunted in affirmation, his fancy way of saying yes. "I see."
"It's not like you have to do much, and we really need the money. Ed's sleeping on the couch because I made her stay up all night researching and waiting for you. She's not the one I'm concerned about, though." He stared at her, knowing she would get his meaning. He was worried about Spike. "I don't want his dumb ass to get over worked like it did yesterday. It's annoying to have to watch over him like a hawk."
"He's awake isn't he?" she asked, ignoring his previously stated comment.
"'Fraid so."
She paused for a moment, thinking to herself. So it would just be a matter of her watching and yet avoiding him. She could do that. "Thanks, Jet, and good luck," she told him as she waved at him with one hand. She was already out the door when he called out her name one last time. Stopping without turning around, she waited for him to say what he intended to say.
"He knows. I didn't tell him everything, but he knows." He watched as the muscles in her back tensed. So, he had found out. This was turning out to be a peachy day indeed. Without a work, she continued walking down to her room. Today was going to be an overly dramatic day like yesterday, but it would always be like that. Silly Faye for expecting anything less. When it came to her and Spike, dramatics were always included.
She strolled down the hall, relief filling her because her mind was for some reason clear and the headache was fading. It was rare that this happened, so she wanted to take advantage of it. Jet wanted her to watch over the two young ones. Ed was old enough to be more lethargic around the ship, so that wasn't a problem. For that, she loved teenagers; they were always so damn lazy. Spike was a whole other story. He was a smart and hard ass, so dealing with him would be difficult. He had changed; she gave him that, but not enough so that she didn't hate him from time to time.
She noticed that while she started thinking about him, she was passing by his room. Faye paused outside the door. It was barely open, something that normally didn't happen. There was an urge inside her to look into his room. As much as she hated to admit it, she was worried about him. He was probably still grieving Julia's death. She'd heard about it from Jet, and she knew that it had occurred three years ago for them, but it happened only a couple days ago for him. It must have hurt to watch someone you love die in your arms. She didn't know what that felt like.
Worry and curiosity got the best of her as she peered into his room. There Spike was, sitting on his worn out bed with the same pants he had on the previous day. His thin hands were limply hanging between his open legs. His head was bowed down, so his eyes were covered by his unruly green hair, but she knew from his posture that he was tense. She was right; he was most likely grieving over his fallen angel. It wasn't her place to comfort him. He had to get over that on his own.
It wasn't like she didn't care about him; this was just something that was out of her hands. There was nothing she could do to help him, and that was reason enough to walk away. He left her to fix her own problems; the same for him would be fitting. With that in mind, she moved away from the door after softly closing it, leaving them both to handle their respective thoughts.
When she came to her room, she threw her clothes and her towel into the hamper. It was starting to get full; she'd have to do the laundry today as well. There were so many things that she needed to get done, yet all of them were being evasive from her mind. It was probably due to the alcohol still in her system. Nothing was assured. Snatching a hair tie off her dresser, she noticed the half empty bottle of beer resting on it as well. The engine of the Hammerhead was sounding in the distance, a sign that Jet was leaving. It wouldn't matter; she was half drunk anyway. Shrugging her shoulders, she tied her hair back into a loose ponytail before swiping the bottle off the dresser and taking a quick swig. It was still somewhat fresh. It was good for now.
With the bottle in hand, she sauntered out of the room with a small bounce in her step. She was definitely still tipsy, but as long as she could watch her mouth and walk in a straight line, she was fine. Currently, she could do both; therefore she was fine.
When she entered what everyone considered to be the living room, she noticed Ed sleeping on the couch with Ein resting on her stomach. Faye smiled at the scene, unconscious of the fact that her eyes were brighter than they usually were. Her cheeks were flushed.
Raising Ed for the past three years with a small bit of help from Jet had been a very interesting experience to say the least. Ed had never fully explained why she had come back, but Faye had her suspicions. Maybe she could never find her father again, or maybe she knew they needed her help. Maybe it was a mixture of both, or something more. Whatever the reason was, Faye and Jet couldn't really explain how relieved they were when she came back with the info that could help them save Spike. It was as if the family slowly started coming back together again.
Actually raising Ed was a whole other issue. Faye always had the biggest impact on the child, but that was because Ed lacked a mother and sister figure. They mainly worked on her appearance and her speech, but some things just never changed. Things like the goggles on her head and her nicknames that she gave everyone remained unchanged; however, her manner of speech and the constant rhyming and shouting had been rapidly decreasing due to long hard battles. The results were good, but they weren't in any way easy to obtain. Faye partially had to thank Ed's rapid decrease in energy; it had been more helpful than she ever could express.
Sleeping on the couch as opposed to the floor or stairwell had been another one of Faye's achievements. She smirked down at her handy work. She took long as swig of her bottle, then placing it down on the table. Turning around, she walked toward the kitchen, her stomach lowly growling and aching with hunger pains.
Automatically walking over to the fridge, she opened up the door and looking into its white walls. Before her eyes adjusted to the light flooding across her face, her hands clutched onto the fridge. Her knuckles turned into a pale white color as another memory from the same day filled her mind…
His hands tightened around her wrists, snuggly pinning them against the wall behind her. Soft lips were feverishly running up and down her neck; they paused every now and then to let out a ragged breath that seemed to burn her skin. His other hand was on the small of her back, holding her body as close to him as possible. He was moving inside of her at a steady pace, not exactly slow, but it wasn't fast enough. Her head was tilting to the side, exposing more of her neck to him. Easily taking advantage of her offer, he marked her pale skin with his kisses in any place that was within reach.
Her hands were idly twitching in his grasp. There was an urge, a need to run her hands down his chiseled back. She wanted, needed to feel his muscles flex beneath her touch. She didn't care about his sweat that was going to get onto her hands. She was impressed by his strength and simply wanted to feel more of it. The twitches of her hands were felt by him; it only caused his hold on her to become firmer, preventing even the slightest amount of movement.
He wanted total control over what was happening. He wanted to possess her in every way imaginable.
Raising his head, he stared down at her, taking in what he saw. Her mouth was barely hanging open, just wide enough for him to hear her faint pants and even softer moans. Her cheeks were flushed a bright rosy color, highly contrasting with her dark eyes which only seemed darker for they were filled with lust. She was beautiful to him, absolutely beautiful. Seeing her like that only increased his passion for her.
"Look at me, Faye," he quietly yet fiercely demanded while he never slowed down his constant rhythm. Her wide eyes snapped into focus, staring directly into his dark, mismatched, brown orbs. Time slowed down for a moment, and suddenly he completely understood her and her him. There were reasons for their actions that no one else but them could possibly understand. She knew why he pursued the dream; he saw why she wanted to know her past.
The understanding only lasted for a fraction of a second, but it was just long enough to spark new life into them. For now, he would wake up, and she would forget her past. For now, they were both going to live.
Her eyes stayed locked with his, but the moment was broken when he clenched his teeth and roughly thrusted into her. His grip tightened on her to the point of pain, but she screamed out in pleasure, holding on to him as if she were going to fall to her death if she let go. The pain greatly intensified the pleasure, causing her head to snap back as she bit down on her lower lip in order to stifle another loud cry.
Seeing this, he kissed her lips while increasing his speed. Letting go of her hands, he braced his hands on both sides of her head, moaning into her mouth when her nails dug into his back and her legs tightened around his waist to support herself. Pulling away just enough so that they could feel each other's breaths on their lips, he spoke to her.
"Don't do that again." She wanted to ask him what, but he slammed into her again making the memory of how to form words lapse from her mind. He leaned over to her ear and breathed, "No one's here to hear us, so I want to hear you. Every pant, moan, and sigh."
He pulled away, staring into her eyes to see if she understood him. He deeply thrusted into her again, watching her reaction play across her face and trembling when her throaty cry hit his ears. "Spike," she groaned as she moved in perfect unison with him.
His eyes only darkened more with lust when she said his name. He pressed her harder against the wall, feeling her legs squeeze his hips impossibly tight. Everything about her was starting to drive him crazy. The feel of her skin pressed against his, her responses, even the sounds she made. Slowly yet surely, it started to make him lose control. He kissed her hard again as he grabbed the back of her head and crushed her mouth against his. Continuing to move in and out of her at an increasing speed, he stopped kissing her and let the sounds she was making wash over him.
"Again, Faye," he growled huskily against her lips as he gave her passionate kisses between words.
She knew that he felt like she did at that moment. He was probably so close to climaxing that it was painful, but she wanted to make this last. She clenched her muscles around him, enjoying the low groan that came from his mouth. They had complete control over one another without knowing it. She bit down onto his shoulder as she rode him. By the constant tensing of his muscles, she just knew.
He was close to ecstasy.
So very close…
Faye closed her eyes tightly before opening them as wide as they would go. An almost empty fridge with amazingly white walls greeted her vision. Shaking her head, she reached in and randomly grabbed an object. Taking it out, she slammed the door and stared down at the item in her hand. Even though she was looking straight at it, her mind didn't register what it was. Fragments and single images of the memory were clouding her brain. Her body was lightly trembling while confusion and a sense of panic filled her. That memory hadn't been brought up in her head for several months. Why in the Hell was it even on her mind?
"Generally, when one obtains food, she eats it rather than staring at it," a smug yet tired voice behind her said. Her eyes finally focused on the object in her hand. It was cherry yogurt. Ed loved that stuff. She hated it.
Placing the yogurt down on the nearby table, she acknowledged him. "Spike." Her voice was thinly laced with her previous confusion and lust. Mentally kicking herself, she hoped that he wouldn't notice and let it slide. Faye didn't have to face him to know that he was staring at her. She could always feel when his eyes were focused solely on her.
"Faye?" he asked with a hint of concern. "You okay?" He had noticed. Shit.
Faye was uncomfortable with the whole idea that he knew as much as he did already. It would be too risky if he started asking question now. She wasn't as sober as she originally thought. She really had to cut down on her drinking.
"What are you doing up?" she asked, avoiding the question. Her voice came off in harder tone than she intended, but it served him right. He shouldn't have been asking her silly questions such as how she was feeling. Plus he should have been resting. The man had been walking around too much for his own good. When he would eventually try to push himself too far like everyone knew that he would, she would just go shake her head and say, 'You should have known better.'
He shrugged and tried standing on his legs without the support of the doorframe. "I have to move to get my strength back, you know." At this, she turned her head toward him with a tiny frown etched on her face.
Silently, she studied him as if judging to see if he was fit to move. He was still breathing as heavily as he had yesterday, maybe a little bit softer, but it was still an improvement. He was a determined little bastard, and she could tell he would stop at almost nothing to be able to get his ass to the kitchen and his favorite couch. He was Spike after all; why had she ever doubted?
"Right," she commented more to herself than to him. "Anyway, I've got things to do." Her voice seemed far away, and Spike knew something was wrong with her or at least something was troubling her mind. Spike knew better than to press the issue, but he couldn't stop noticing it. For some strange reason, he felt guilty.
Whether it was just him being bold or stupid, he asked, "Such as?" to see if she were lying or not.
"Things… that I have to do." She was lying. He gave her a hard stare, asking her to explain herself, but she simply ignored him and looked passed him. Spike knew nothing was there; she was just avoiding his gaze. Something was definitely out of place. One way or another he would eventually find out; however, today wasn't that day.
Heat was flowing through her body. God, he probably had no idea what his eyes were doing to her, and with the memory still corrupting her mind, she couldn't help but get the feeling that he was looking at her for a different reason. It was almost exactly like the same look he gave her when…
His hands were buried in her hair as he kissed her savagely. Moaning into his mouth, she bit down on his lower lip and rocked harder against him, increasing their passion as their moans only got louder with every deep thrust…
'Damnit, stop that!' she hissed to herself, thankful that she didn't say it aloud. Yes, her body was definitely getting that same warm feeling that she was used to having around him constantly three years ago. She had been around him for too long. Now was just not the time for this mess.
She left the room without another word, making sure that she didn't touch him as she passed by. Touching him might only reinforce the visions she was busy trying to banish. He was too weak to follow her, but he figured he would get his chance to talk to her soon enough. Right now, he was hungry, and the yogurt on the table was looking very good to him.
Cautious of his tired muscles, he started walking toward the small cup. The very tip of his tongue was peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he used will power and concentration to move his body across the room. This was for some reason harder than actually walking to the kitchen from his room, but walking to the kitchen wasn't as important as finally getting some decent food in his stomach. Small beads of sweat started appearing on his forehead, while he muscles were reminding him that he had walked too much that day already.
Finally, he was close enough so that if he just reached out, he would be able to grab it. This was all way too much damn work for that small ass cup, but food was food, and damned, if he wasn't hungry. Just as he was about to reach out for the cup, a blur of orange, white, and blue rushed by him with a gust of wind. His mouth dropped in horror when he saw it grab the yogurt and yank it off the table.
Suddenly, he heard someone or something call out, "Danke danke, Spike-person!" It was Ed. She laughed as she rushed out of the room again with the prized possession in her hand, leaving Spike to only stare down at his hand reaching out for now empty space. Without dropping his hand, he turned his head to look at the door that she ran out of; his eye twitched with frustration. Damn children.
A loud growl erupted from his stomach, causing his face to drop and his eyes to close. It seemed loud enough to echo throughout the whole ship. Too bad no one heard it. Sighing to himself, he plopped down onto the ground with his hands in his lap. He glared at the floor, ignoring his stomach that was filled with pain and a distinct lack of food. This was just great; he had no food, no Faye to confront, and he was too exhausted from trying to get that goddamn yogurt to chase either.
Even so, a small smile found its way onto his face. As annoying and hungry as it had made him, he had to admit that he appreciated it. Ed gave him that comforting sense of normalcy that he so desperately needed.