Author's Note: Sumimasen, everyone for the long delay. I know I've been updating this fic only once a month but I hope you understand that I have other fics that needs updating, as well. Well, here is chapter 8.
COMMENT ON THE REVIEWS:
CherryBlossom Gurl13 – I'm halfway on this fic already. I've estimated about fifteen chapters on this one. But don't worry, I'm already thinking of writing another Yuusuke-Keiko fic.
SVZ – I'm sorry but I like the way I'm not saying whose POV it is. Anyway, you only have two to choose from, lol.
Bianka-chan – with your long review, how could I not comment? Yes, I do wub Kurama, lol. As for the italics, I have Microsoft word and I save it as a web page to retain the html. I'm sorry if I can't update sooner, I feel the same way with a fic I've been reading, you know, checking it every day to see if it's been updated, but I am a college student so I have to prioritize my studies first. I also have many fics that I have to update all of them, too.
KagomeWannabe – drawing is one of my frustrations in life. I cannot draw even if my life depended on it, so I resort to writing, hehe.
Mutsumi – I didn't know you would notice that. I love making side comments, but I don't have any in this chapter.
A Friend – I can guarantee you that it won't be a waste. J
Daughter of the Moon – This is my first time to write in this first POV, and I think I'm doing alright.
Chibi Tenshi – that would be a spoiler to other readers so I won't say anything.
Big Rikku Fan, pchanfeeshy, Rose Angel, Jen, dana, CARR:), jasmine – thank you guys, I appreciate your reviews.
Disclaimers Applied!!!
Mixed EmotionsChapter 8: DON'T LET ME FALL FOR HIM
I sighed for the third time as I looked at you as if you'd grown another head.
"But, Kei," you whined as you sat down on one of the stools while I wiped the counter in the kitchen.
"I told you, Yuusuke, I can't tonight, alright?" I said as I felt my patience running out. You just barged into our house this morning asking me if I could help you clean your room tonight because you need to find the CD that Kuwabara lent you a few weeks ago.
"Look, Keiko, I really need to return –" you said then stopped when you realized I wouldn't relent. "What are you doing tonight, anyway?"
I blushed, and without looking at you. "Uh, I'm going out with Omi."
An uncomfortable silence began to settle between us and I had to glance at you because of that. I've been noticing lately that whenever Omi would be included in our conversation, you would become awkwardly quiet as if talking about him is taboo.
I once thought that maybe, you are jealous of him and maybe you feel like Omi's stealing your best friend away from you. But I realized that it's better this way. Sooner or later, I'm bound to find a man and settle down because I cannot wait for you forever.
And I know that it could help you mature in some way. Well, doing things on your own is one way of maturing. And cleaning your room might be one of them.
"Oh," you said and frowned. I expected you to disallow me to go or lecture me about how Omi is a jerk and did not deserve me. It didn't come. Instead, you smiled at me brightly, "Can I come?"
I had to stop what I'm doing at that time to look at you, shocked. "Are you out of your mind? No, of course not. You can't come!"
"Well, you don't have to yell at me," you said woundedly, but the idea is still preposterous that I didn't feel guilty for yelling at you. "How come I can't?"
"Yuusuke," I began, thinking how in the world I could explain to you that you're being stupid – again. "Do you want to be a third wheel?"
"You, Kuwabara and I used to go out together a lot and you're not even bothered by it," you insisted that I had to look at you in exasperation. How could someone be so stupid?
"Well, Kuwabara is not courting me so it's alright. And he's the one tagging along, not you," I explained, then, "besides, what would Miruni think back then if I tagged along in your dates?"
I noticed that you frowned. Whether it's because I brought your ex-girlfriend up or because you finally realized what I'm trying to say, I'm not so sure.
"Well, I see your point," you said and I can feel a smile began forming on my face when you turned to me and said cheerfully, "We can double date if you want."
This time, I was washing some cups and I almost dropped them when I heard what you said. "What?!" I turned and yelled again that I know the customers inside the dining area heard me. "You want to what?"
"Double date," you said and smiled at me. "It's a good idea, isn't it?"
"No, no. It's not a good idea," I said and furiously shook my head. "Actually, it's a bad idea. Do you actually think we would actually double date with you and Miruni?" I asked, then resumed washing the dishes.
"Who said anything about Miruni?" you asked coolly and stood up from the stool you've been sitting and leaned back on the counter so that you could be able to look at me. "I'll ask someone for tonight, alright?"
"Who is it, then?" I asked, trying not to sound like a jealous wife. I'm enjoying your full attention too much that I'm afraid I cannot give that again to someone else.
"I don't know. I'll think of someone," you said nonchalantly then smirked at me. "Why? Afraid to lose me again?"
"Baka," I said and splashed some water at him.
"Hey," you protested and jumped away from me. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm just kidding you."
"So, um, why don't you guys, whoever this girl is, just go out on your own date and get to know each other while Omi and I get to know each other, as well," I said and flinched when you glared at me.
"Well, just in case you've forgotten, I'll only go out on a date because you don't want me to be a third wheel. Besides, Zekuna knows you already so he doesn't need to get to know you," you said and glared at me again, wanting to intimidate me.
"He knows me, alright, but not enough to be my boyfriend," I muttered to myself but when your frown deepened, I know you heard me.
"The day he became your boyfriend would be the day he will die," you said with venom in your voice that I had to stop washing the dishes to look at you.
"Come on, Yuusuke, you're more protective than my father. You have to accept the fact that I'm going to date guys sooner or later. I don't want to be an old maid, you know," I said and tried not to cross my fingers for lying.
Of course, all of these are just a façade, I don't really want to date Omi, well, maybe I do like the idea a little bit because I like the guy, but that's all there is to it.
And my feelings for you are still the same, if ever, it became stronger. I love spending time with you and if it weren't for Omi asking me for an official date, I would have gladly tagged you along. But I can't do that to Omi because he's really really nice to me and I know Omi is a little insecure of you.
If you see me walking the road with someone else
It's not because I like his company
It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me.
If you hear me talking about him all the time
It's not because he pleases me
It's because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat
If you feel me falling with someone new
It's not because I love him
It's because you're not there to catch me if I fall
If you feel lost, I, too am nowhere
I, too don't know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound
Don't let me walk with him
It's you I want to walk with
Don't let me talk about him
It's you I want to talk about
Don't let me fall for him…
…It's you I want to fall in love with.
*-*CHANGE OF POV*-*
"Come on, Yuusuke, you're more protective than my father. You have to accept the fact that I'm going to date guys sooner or later. I don't want to be an old maid, you know," you said, but you didn't know that you broke my heart when you said that.
Damn! I closed my eyes to stop the tears from forming in my eyes. How could you be so insensitive? "We could always date, you know," I muttered to myself and looked down on the floor.
"What'd you say?" you asked uninterestedly that I realized you haven't heard what I said. And it hurts. Yeah, I'm supposed to be the real asshole and the insensitive one between the two of us.
I should be the one who's hurting you for being a jerk.
Not the other way around.
Certainly not the other way around.
"Nothing," I said, still looking at the floor.
"No, I heard you say something," you said and looked at me questioningly that even if I don't want to, I had to look at you.
"I said, go on, for all I care," I said then I walked towards the door, wanting to leave already. What's the point of staying when every minute that we're together only brings me pain because I cannot be with you the way I want to.
"Yuusuke," you called softly that I had to stop and look at you. And my heart breaks when I saw you. You looked so sad that even if I'm not doing anything, I still felt that it is my fault for making you look like that.
"Please don't be mad at me for this," you said so softly, in a voice that is so fragile, it might break anytime.
All my heartaches and pain suddenly disappeared that I swear my eyes softened when I looked at you. "I just want to be there for you to protect you," I said.
You smiled at me weakly. "Omi is not like that," you began. "He won't do anything to hurt me."
"Then, there's no problem if we double date, right?" I asked and I saw in your eyes that you concede. I trapped you, I knew that, but as long as I can be there for you, then it doesn't really matter.
You sighed and slowly nodded. "Just make sure I'm going to like the girl you'll tag along."
When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stands before me
When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat
I didn't want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship
When you thought I wasn't there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you've already grabbed a branch
If you feel like you are nowhere, I, too am lost
I, too don't know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other's path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?
Don't let me walk behind you
I want to walk by your side
Don't let me listen about him…
I want to hear your heartbeat
Don't let yourself fall for him…
…I want you to fall in love with me…
*-*
"I'll clean your house," I suggested and almost banged my head on the wall when she shook her head.
"Yuusuke, why me?" she asked lazily as she wiped her face with her towel. She had been practicing for the big game of our school against the nearby university when I, her dear friend, asked her for a date.
Of course, she declined. She just doesn't do dates, even with friends so I began bribing her. Doing her assignments, paying her, and now, cleaning her house. My offer of payment, I must admit, is the only thing sane among all the offers I've made.
"Because we're friends," I whined.
"Yuusuke, I don't do dates, alright?" she said impatiently. "Even if it's you."
"Look, I don't want to do this, too. But I'm doing this for Keiko. So please –"
"Ask Hina, then. The two of you don't fight all the time," she said and I almost grasped my hair in exasperation.
"Niki," I began, thinking of another tactic. "Look, I know you trust Omi. Hell, I think you even like the idea of Omi and Keiko being together, but I don't. Can't you at least do this one small favor even once?"
"Yuu-kun," she said then hesitated. "I –"
"Please? I won't ask a favor again, okay. This is very important to me," I interrupted.
"You cannot guard Keiko all the time, Yuusuke. Sooner or later you have to set her free to some man who deserves her. You can't keep her forever."
"I know," I said, though Kami knows how much I hated it. "I just want to see how Omi treats her, that's all. If he seems okay, I'll leave them alone. I'll…let her go."
Niki sighed again. "Alright. I'll go with you. But just this once."
I smiled at her weakly. "Thank you."
*-*CHANGE OF POV*-*
I tried hard not to laugh at Niki's expression when the both of you arrived at our front porch that evening. Honestly speaking, I was quite nervous all day not because of my date with Omi but because of your date with some girl. Yes, I am jealous but I know I cannot let it show.
Though I had already accepted the fact that we can only be friends, it still hurts me whenever I think about you with other girls while I'm stuck with some guy I don't love while and you from a distance.
And then, there comes the doorbell. I swear my palms are sweaty when I opened the door, only to find you standing there – with Niki.
"Can you believe this baka yarou dragged me here for a double date?" Niki said before I could greet you, and then she glared at you.
I smiled and opened my mouth to say something, but you beat me into it. "But, Niki, you agreed to go with me this morning," you grumbled.
"Yes, I remember that," Niki began then, "but you didn't fucking tell me I have to wear a stupid dress. I don't do dates but because we're friends, I agreed to go with you. But, a dress? What the hell were you thinking? I DON'T WEAR DRESSES!" she said hotly.
"Yes, you are," I said cheerfully, "you're wearing one now," pointing that fact to her.
"Oh, great." Niki said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Gang up on me, will you? I'm going home."
"No, please!" we both pleaded and each grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving. "We won't make fun of you anymore," you said sincerely.
I nodded in agreement. "Besides, it looks good on you."
Niki blushed. "Alright. But one word about my dress," she said warningly, looking at us, and we both nodded.
*-*
The both of you are quite early so we spent the time waiting for my date to arrive. Well, not exactly because I'm not yet really dressed when you two arrived so I left the two of you in the ramen house, talking to Otousan, while I readied myself for tonight.
And it was a torture for me doing so. Why? Because when I said that Niki looked good in that dress she's wearing, I said it because she really did and not because I wanted to stop her from feeling uncomfortable.
In fact, she looked so great that I almost did not recognize her myself. Well, I knew she had a great figure, being a player of volleyball in our school keep her fit and healthy, she almost glowed every time. And the dress that she's wearing is simple and loose, but is enough to show her figure, conservative but short enough to show her slim and toned legs, and though the neckline is discrete, the way it was sewn gave attention to her chest, I am almost jealous.
Yes, I am trying hard not to get jealous of my friend just because she looked so fantastic in her dress. I know my figure is not that good and I can't even count the times you told me I gained weight.
And it is frustrating. I wanted to cry for wanting you so much but I can't even let you know about it. I wanted to cry because I know I'm being pathetic for being jealous of my friend whom I know won't do anything to steal you away from me.
Ha! As if you really belong to me. What if you suddenly decided to go after her? I wouldn't have the power to stop you, because I know I'm going to wallow in misery again. And this time, I'm not only going to lose my best friend, the only man I've ever loved; but also one of my closest friends as well.
I decided to wear my pink dress, the one that looked most flattering on me and I didn't even know if I'm dressing up for Omi…or for you.
Knock.
"Hey, are you okay?" Niki asked me and I remembered how well she knew me and that I cannot hide anything from her.
I did not answer. Instead, I combed my hair slowly.
"You know," she began. "I didn't know where you get this ridiculous idea that I'm going to steal Yuu-kun from you. I'm one of your closest friends, Keiko, and I won't do anything to hurt you."
I had to smile at that and looked at her gratefully.
"Besides, Yuusuke will always be Yuusuke," she continued, "and he will always see me as Niki."
At that, I frowned. "So, are you saying that he will always see me as Keiko, his best friend?"
"Yes, of course," Niki said softly that my frown deepened. "He will always see you as Keiko, his best friend, and the only woman in his life."
I was surprised with that statement, but before I could retaliate on what she said, she dragged me out of the room. "Come on, it's almost time, Omi will arrive any minute."
But before you could see us, I grabbed Niki's arms, and I swear I blushed under her stare. "Niki, do I look…um, alright?"
She smiled at me and I felt some tension disappeared. "Keiko, tell me honestly, are you dressing up for your date or for the man over there?" she asked, pointing at the door that will lead us to the restaurant.
"I…um, well," I stuttered, and looked away from her, feeling that I am turning redder every passing second.
Niki chuckled. "I already know the answer to that, Keiko. But don't ever forget that Omi is your date. Yuu-kun is mine for tonight," she said then winked at me.
Though she tried to walk towards the door, I still haven't budged an inch because I haven't heard yet what I needed to hear.
Niki noticed this and immediately turned around and said, "Don't worry, Keiko-dear. You look absolutely dazzling."
Author's Note: Okay, done! Well, that poem above is sent to me through email from a friend and I kind of modified a few lines a bit and I thought it would suit my fic so I added it here. Please Review! Next chapter would be up as soon as possible!
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