Author's Note: I'm once again apologizing for the delay. I hope this chapter will compensate for it. And this is ultra long just for you.
COMMENT ON THE REVIEWS:
XLunatiCxD – thank you for that nice compliment. And as a form of gratitude, here's an update
Minae – yeah, there are a few lot who said they cried. It wasn't my intention to make my readers sad, by the way…lol
CherryBlossom Gurl13 – woah! Long review, thanks. I'm not saying anything but this chapter might give you an idea on what would happen
Aryanne – wow, so many reviews…lol
Leigh – yeah, you would have more chapters to read but the author misses the reviews and comments, lol
Winnie – sorry for the confusing POV but it's a style I want to stick with
Mutsumi – ei, gawa na pc ko kaya pede na ko update ulet!
Your little nagger - I really appreciate long reviews but not like this. You should at least think that I have more life than fanfiction. And even if you pressure me by filling my reviews with simply Update! I would still not do it if I won't be able to. I have more priorities, you know.
Bianka-chan – well, I didn't mean for people to side with Yuusuke or Keiko, but you seem to be doing it, lol.
Jesanae Tekani, like id tell you, Rosa Angelz, fan of your fic – thanks to you
Disclaimers Applied!!!
Mixed EmotionsChapter 10: Back Where We Started
"No, Omi. I really really need to study for the quiz tonight," I said and laughed when he tried to give me that puppy eyes look.
"Come on, I'm going to take the quiz, too, but I'm willing to not study so that we could go out for dinner tonight," he said and grabbed my hands and squeeze it lightly.
"Omi, even if you don't study for the quiz, you'll ace it easily. That's how smart you are," I said as a matter-of-factly.
He laughed at that. "You're smart, too, and we both know that. You don't need to study," he tried once again, still not letting go of my hands.
"Omi –"
"I'll let you copy my answers if you're not confident with your intelligence," Omi said but the look I gave him prompt him to say, "Alright, forget I said anything."
I smiled weakly at him, and though he'd already apologized in that indirect way of his, I cannot help but lecture him, "I'd rather be caught dead than cheating, Omi. I've worked hard for my grades for so long."
"I'm sorry."
I looked at him and slowly smiled. "Don't worry about it," I said.
"Well, how about we study together for tonight?" Omi said and tried to hold my waist to pull me closer to him.
"No." I said and giggled as I removed his hands on my waist. It tickles, you know. "Come on, it's not like we're not going to see each other tomorrow."
"Keiko –" Omi began again and tried to give me that puppy eyes again.
I smiled and slowly shook my head. When he tried to pout, I burst into laughter and pushed him gently out the door to the front porch.
"Tomorrow," I said and tried to look stern. "I mean it, Omi."
Omi sighed, defeated, then slowly nodded. At least, he understood me and didn't try to force me to spend time with him when I didn't want to. Not that I don't want to spend time with him, he is, after all my –
"Tomorrow then?" Omi asked, cutting my thoughts suddenly.
"Okay," I said and shrugged nonchalantly.
He nodded then leaned towards me to press his lips to mine. It was over and done with before I could react to that. And when he pulled back, the glint in his eyes made me blush and I can feel all the blood rushed to my face.
He was so cocky about that stolen kiss, I opened my mouth to tell him to stop being such an insufferable, obnoxious jerk when –
"Yukimura Keiko." A chillingly cold voice reached my ear that I pulled away from Omi suddenly.
***CHANGE OF POV***
My eyebrows knitted as I watched the scene unfold before me.
Of course, I have no intention to spy on you but I had no choice as I was rooted on the spot and could only stare at the both of you.
Do nothing but watch helplessly; rage forming within me.
Though the both of you are still inside the ramen house, the open door is enough for me to see and witness what was happening inside.
I saw him hold your hand, but you did nothing to pull away. You let it happen, and in fact, flirted a little, if your smile is an indication.
I was appalled that I suddenly stopped walking towards your house and even as the two of you went out to the front porch, neither of you took notice of me.
Maybe because I was standing so still. Maybe because I was standing in the shadows…or maybe because your attention were completely on each other that the two of you were oblivious to anything else.
And then the kiss.
My Keiko does not flirt and she definitely does not let anybody kiss her just like that. But the Keiko I'm seeing right now is telling and showing me otherwise. Changed so much that I was overcome with emotions.
Anger because another man had dared touch what was mine. Sadness because I was once again reminded that I could never have you the way I wanted. And jealousy because you let him kiss you. Without hesitation.
Maybe I would be able to accept it if it was on the hand, on the forehead. Even on the cheek. But it was on the lips – and you let him get away with it.
Or maybe not. Maybe, even if I had only seen you holding hands with him, I would still feel this. Because I was suddenly consumed with jealousy, I wondered how I stopped myself from not storming towards you to rip the two of you apart.
I could only let my anger known in those two little words I uttered coldly. "Yukimura Keiko."
The two of you pulled away from each other and almost jumped in surprise that the both of you could not utter a word for quite some time.
You stole a glance at me and when I looked at you, you suddenly looked down, a blush creeping on your face.
Then, Omi cleared his throat nervously that my attention switched to him as the floor seemed to fascinate you that time that you can't take your eyes off it.
"Right," Omi said and chuckled nervously. "I'd better get going. See you at school, the both of you."
At that statement, you looked up and slowly nodded, trying hard not to look at me, though I know my gaze is already penetrating your soul. "I'll walk you –"
"He can damn well find his way out," I said, gritting my teeth in anger. I wanted to talk to you and this 'I'll walk you out' lines to Omi would not work for you this time.
I refuse to let the matter go and I will not rest for tonight until it had been settled. By all means, you will have some major explaining to do and I don't really care if I'm acting like a jealous lover.
We will talk about you.
You cringed at my tone and Omi almost paled when he saw you. Hn. Served the bastard right for ever laying his hands on you.
"It's okay, Keiko. It's no big deal," he said, and this time, he got over his nervousness by looking at me. At least, he could be a man when he needs to be.
You only nodded as you watched him go then hesitantly turned your gaze towards me. I saw you fidget as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.
Obviously, you are dreading the topic to be brought up and I know you're a little scare of me right now. How it happened, I didn't know. You aren't exactly the fearful type. If anything, though I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm the one who's afraid of you.
Then, you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them again slowly to look at me. "Yuusuke –"
"I haven't eaten yet. Do you have some food left?" I asked, cutting you from whatever explanation you decided to say.
Yeah, I know I'm making the matter worse by delaying the talk about it and it was really sadistic of me. I know you would continue to squirm and feel really uncomfortable, but, well, at the state I'm in, I don't think I would be able to listen to your explanations, anyway.
I'm too tired to fight with you. I'm just too tired to run after you. So, I'm letting you off the hook.
"I, uh," you stammered, and looked nervously at me, "I'll just cook something for you if you want to wait."
I shrugged nonchalantly. Truth be told, I lost my appetite when I saw you with him – flirting shamelessly. So I just made up a reason to be here. Actually, it really isn't a lie. I really did come here to eat, but, well, considering the scene I've witnessed, who would blame me for losing my appetite?
And still, you stood there, looking at me, as if expecting me to say anything. Yeah, I know you're expecting me to say something about it, but I'm sorry, I wouldn't.
"You were going to cook me dinner," I reminded you and you looked confused before you remembered what you said to me.
"Right," you said softly before turning your back on me and going back inside the house to the kitchen.
I followed you and sat on the counter, my usual spot. But that would be the last usual thing I'll do for tonight. Usually, whenever I drop by to eat, we talk about our days as I wait for my meal to get cooked.
Today, I opened my bag and brought out my brand new manga and began flipping the pages, intending to not have the small chats we used to have.
"So, why'd you drop by here?" you asked nervously, and when I didn't reply, didn't even looked at you from the manga I'm reading, you continued. "It took me by surprise."
"I told you, I'm hungry," I answered, using a lazy tone, when I felt you looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
"Oh. Well, that's nice."
No response from me.
"So, how's your day?"
"Fine," I said, still I continued to flip the pages of my manga.
You cleared your throat and that surely got my attention. I looked at you and my heart almost break. Yeah, it's corny, but I couldn't help it when you looked like you're trying hard not to cry.
"Yuusuke, about what you saw –"
"Have you seen Botan lately?" I asked suddenly, needing to stop you from opening that topic for discussion.
The question threw you off-guard that you looked at me in confusion. "No," you said.
I nodded. "Yeah, me too."
You slowly shook your head as a sad smile grazed your lips. I knew that you found out about my scheme to avoid the topic. "Yuu-"
"You know, it's getting boring and dull around here," I interrupted you, again, "it would be really nice if I would have a new mission for a change. You know, get away from here for quite awhile."
"You seriously can't mean that!" you exclaimed as tears gather around your eyes.
"Oh yeah? What is it to you, anyway?" I asked, suddenly annoyed. Now, you're acting as if you're my mother.
***CHANGE OF POV***
"What is it to me?" I repeated, my voice getting louder, "last time you went on this mission, you almost got yourself killed!" I yelled, though tears fell from my eyes.
"It won't be the first time," you muttered and I lost it right there and then.
"Fine," I said and stomped towards the stove to get your food.
How could you do this to me? I know I owe you an explanation about what you saw but you're making it harder when you won't even let me bring it up.
And that mission? What should I make of that? You could have told me you never want to see me again and it would hurt less than when you told me you want to go on a mission. I'm not dumb. I know what you're getting at. You were saying that you'd rather go on a mission and get yourself killed than be safe here and risk the chance of seeing me.
I'm really starting to hate you, you know, the thought formed as I put down your yakiudon in front of you. "You know, you're really stupid," I said coldly, and turned around to leave you with your food.
Still, you did not let me have the last say, because as soon as I turned my back on you, you retorted, "I know I'm stupid, you don't have to rub it," you said and I could only close my eyes in irritation.
I whirled around to look at you, my eyes blazing in anger. "You want to go on a mission and get killed? Fine! See if I care. It's none of my goddamn business!" I yelled.
"That's right. It's none of your business," you snapped and stared at me coldly.
I nodded slowly, understanding at last what you're trying to tell me. "I see," I said softly, and, "so stop acting like a jerk because my dating Omi is also none of your goddamn business."
A glass dropped on the floor, shattering into thousand of pieces.
***CHANGE OF POV***
"You're dating Zekuna?" I asked softly, not wanting to believe what you just said.
Refusing to acknowledge the fact that you crushed my already broken heart.
The cold anger instantly died in your eyes as you looked at the broken pieces of glass I was previously holding. Then, you looked at me and your eyes conveyed guilt. Already confirming that what I heard was correct.
"Yuusu-"
"Don't bother," I said coldly, already standing up, intending to just leave it as it is.
What's the use? What's the point of staying? For you to be able to say that you're sorry and that you don't mean to keep it from me?
I know I'm not in the same league with you or Zekuna when it comes to IQ, but, damn! I'm not that stupid enough to start with.
What is this about, anyway? Do you have this morbid fascination with the saying 'history repeats itself'? I know I hurt you when I didn't tell you about Miruni soon, but, do you have to do the same thing to me?
I was about to go and leave when Yukimura-jisan appeared in the doorway, blocking my way out.
"Is there something wrong? I thought I heard a glass breaking," he said as his gaze shifted from you to me.
I looked at you but you seemed too distressed to answer your father so I said, "Everything's alright, jisan. The glass just slipped out of my hand," I said as I breathed deeply.
"Oh. Alright," he said and smiled at me. "Well, you go ahead and talk. I'll be upstairs."
When he turned around and leave, I was about to leave again, but your words stopped me.
"I know I should have told you about us earlier," you began as you took a step towards me.
"You should have," I replied, but still my back is turned from you.
"Please don't make this hard for me," you said, almost begging, but I think my heart just hurt so much for me to sympathize at you.
I whirled around to look at you. "Hard on you?"
"You think I'm hard on you?" I repeated the question loudly when you whimpered, then laughed bitterly. "Tell me one thing, Keiko, do you have any plans to tell me about it? If I didn't find out about it…would you tell me about it?"
You only looked at me, eyes pleading as tears cascaded down your cheeks. Begging me to stop.
But I didn't.
"Would you?" I repeated, grasping your shoulders tightly, demanding for your answer.
"Yuusuke, please…"
"Please what?" I asked, then let go of your shoulders. "Oh, you don't want to answer the question? Sure, we'll let it go. I'll just make a guess," I said sarcastically, only pausing to take a deep breath, "I think, since we were so close to each other, you imitated my style. Tell me…are you and Omi dating for one week now?"
The only response I got was when you looked away from me.
"Answer me, dammit!" I yelled, punching the table beside me, the plate rattled.
You cringed as though I hit you. "It was two weeks, alright," you said, tears falling from your eyes.
"Two weeks!" you said, finding enough courage to look at me in the eye. "Are you happy now?"
Two weeks? I almost blurted out loudly. But I stopped myself in time. Instead, I laughed bitterly.
You've been lying to me for two weeks now. You've been betraying me for half a month already. I thought we were the best of friends. Had thought that we knew each other better than anybody else.
I was wrong. You kept this from me for two weeks and Kami knows how long you intended to keep this from me if I hadn't caught you a while ago.
Yeah, I know I did the same thing to you but that was different. Miruni was your rival and I knew you would not take the news well. But this time, I knew that Zekuna was courting you. I also knew that you liked him in some way, why hide it from me?
"Two weeks, huh?" I said seriously when I stopped laughing. "That's right. How stupid can I get? That was two days after our double date. I should have known it's bound to happen. You were flirting shamelessly with him, you're worse than a whore."
I suddenly shut up when your palm came in contact with my cheeks – hard.
***CHANGE OF POV***
That's right. I slapped you after so many months of not doing so. But I didn't regret it. Because you deserved it.
"How dare you," I said as I looked at you straight in the eye, my own eyes blazing in anger.
"You have the nerve, Urameshi Yuusuke," I said angrily while poking your chest, "After all those years, after everything we've been through, how could you even think, much more say it to my face, that I am worse than a whore?"
"You have no right to insult me like that, do you hear me?" I continued, and forced myself to stop crying, wiping angrily the remaining tears falling.
Then, you looked at me. Letting me see all of your emotions. Your eyes telling me without words, that you, too, felt betrayed like I was before, when I kept this from you.
Your eyes telling me that you did not mean anything you said. It was only your anger talking, and I know your cheek is already stinging right now. My slaps were known for their stinging effect.
"I'm sorry," I said and took a step forward to look at your cheek.
You stepped back, your eyes showing all your pain.
"I'll go get some ice," I offered hopefully, but you only shook your head at me as you smiled bitterly.
"Don't bother, Kei."
I burst into tears once again. You were using my nickname again but the tone of your voice told me you won't be using it again anytime, soon.
"Yuusuke, please –"
"I need to get going now, it's getting late," you said softly even as I shook my head furiously at you.
I refused to let you leave. To let you go. Who knows, after you went out of the door, when will be able to see each other again. I don't even want to think that I will lose you again because of another lousy fight we, immature adults, can't resolve.
"Please, Yuusuke. I'm so sorry," I said, my eyes pleading at you already. "Just…let's not make an issue out of this. Let's stop fighting, come on."
But you only looked at me, emotionless, that my heart started breaking.
"Come on. Let's act like adults. I don't want the same thing to happen to us once again. I –" I said then paused to take a shuddering breath, "I don't want to lose you again, Yuu."
Your eyes softened and I see a glimmer of hope, only, you smiled sadly at me. "You will always have me, Kei. Just, leave me alone for the time-being."
And that was it. Without another word, you turned away from me, and walked out of the house, even remembering to shut the door behind you, as I was once again rooted on the spot.
Leaving me with a sense of déjà vu when you told me once that we should stop talking to each other…but, for how long this time?
Author's Note: Waah! That was so sad! And you guys, don't know how much I wanted to just let Yuusuke say "I love you" and let Keiko say "I love you, too" and end it all. But I know you won't like it that way and I wouldn't like it that way, too. So, I've been using all my abilities to create good chapters for you, guys.
So, what's the point of all these? I'm just asking you, guys to review…come on, be gratitude lol, kidding…
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