Chapter Seven

Schuldig waited two days before going over to Yohji's, bringing him a box of chocolate. He'd planned on bringing him takoyaki, but had become squeamish at the last minute, something he sure hoped Brad and Nagi never found out about. Or Yohji, for that matter.

The flower shop was nearly closed and Omi was the only one working when he got there. "Hi," Schuldig said. "Yohji around?"

Omi gave him the hairy eyeball for a minute. "Who do you work for?"

"Crawford," Schuldig replied, without missing a beat.

"Can't find records of you anywhere. I find that very disquieting." Omi gave him a cute little smile.

"Sorry?" Schuldig asked.

"I'll go get Yohji," Omi said. "But if you endanger my team, I'll kill you."

Schuldig believed him. It surprised him a bit. Most people weren't really capable of killing him, but he thought Omi honestly might be. He just couldn't resist taking a little peek into Omi's mind to see if he'd thought Nagi was cute, though. Schuldig was pleased to note that he had, and was especially hung up on the huge blue eyes.

Yohji walked into the shop. "Hi," he said.

Schuldig held out the chocolate. "Peace offering?"

Yohji accepted it and looked at it. "Sure, for now."

Omi walked back in and started to close up shop. Schuldig had a feeling he was trying very hard to be conspicuous.

"Oh, come on," Schuldig said in a wheedling tone of voice. "It's not like you told me."

"I would have if I'd known that you were too," Yohji said stubbornly.

"What was I supposed to do, just announce?" Schuldig asked. "Can't announce it much more than I did the other night. And you got mad."

Yohji scuffed the floor with his shoe. "I'll admit I overreacted."

Hallelujah. "Still pissed?"

"Not so much pissed as . . . uncertain."

"About what?"

Yohji pushed a hand through his hair. "It was a lot easier when you were just a good looking redhead that I could have lunch with and have sex with."

Omi coughed slightly. "Why don't you take him into the house?" he asked. "I have no desire to eavesdrop on this conversation."

"Sure." Yohji walked into the house, without waiting to see if Schuldig would follow, which he did. They settled at the kitchen table.

"You can still have lunch and sex with me," Schuldig said. "I don't see why it matters. Now you just don't have to hide anything."

Yohji sighed. "Are you mad at me?"

"Only because you got self-righteous and ripped my head off."

"Well, that is what I was thinking you'd be mad at me for."

"I could get over it, but . . . it was kind of . . . irksome."

"I don't think I would have, but . . . you guys really did a number on that place. I mean, I've been an assassin for years and a detective before that, and the screams coming out of that room . . ." Yohji shuddered.

"Well . . . no, really don't have an excuse for Farfie."

"Farfie." Yohji shook his head. "Who is he?"

"He's a complete nutjob. Very good at what he does, but a complete nutjob."

"And what he does is slaughter people?"

"Yes."

"Great."

"Sorry?"

Yohji sighed. "Look, why don't we let this go for a few days, then meet for lunch and see if we can pretend it never happened."

"If you think you can forget about it, I'm willing to give it a go," he said.

Yohji nodded. "Aa . . . and I think you had better go before Ken and Aya realize you're here and come down to grill you."

"Oh, you're worried about me."

Yohji grinned. "Don't push your luck, prick."

"I have to. Being annoying is in my contract." Schuldig gave him a wink, then stood up and headed back out to the flower shop.

"How'd it go?" Omi asked curiously, emerging from behind a stack of flowers.

"We're going to meet in a few days and see if we all feel better about it."

Omi shrugged. "He'll get over it. Once he realizes that he can have a friend outside of work that he doesn't have to hide around, he'll love it."

"Yeah, I might enjoy that too."

"I'm alarmed to find that I can't find any information on you, yet you seem to know all about us."

"Nagi's just cool like that," Schuldig said.

Omi didn't blush, but Schuldig was gratified to see a few pleased thoughts drift across his mind. "He's your computer expert?"

Schuldig nodded.

"He's very good at what he does."

"I'll pass along your compliment."

At that, Omi did blush, but it was very faint and he quickly hid it by getting back to work on the flowers.

Schuldig just grinned at him. "Auf wiedersehen," he said, and left the store.

^^^^

Ken was in the kitchen long enough to get a mug of tea after closing the store, and nearly tripped over Yohji and Schuldig, who were sitting at the table. "Get your feet off the table before Omi catches you," Ken advised.

"Yeah, yeah," Yohji said, waving this aside.

Ken rolled his eyes and consigned Yohji to his death, before leaving through the door into the house. Then he nearly tripped again, over Omi and Aya, who were eavesdropping. "What are you two doing?" he asked.

"Gathering blackmail information," Aya said coolly.

"Shamelessly eavesdropping," Omi said.

"Yeah?" Ken sipped his tea. "What are they talking about?"

"I think they're trading war stories," Omi said.

"Like mission stories?" Ken asked.

"I'm waiting for them to get into 'my scars are bigger than yours.'"

Ken glanced back into the room. "I think they probably have more useful things to compare size on."

Aya made a disgusted face. "I did not need that mental image."

Ken smirked. "Omi, you're blushing."

"Shut up," Omi said. He knew better than to deny it.

Aya raised an eyebrow at Omi. "You can't possibly find that image attractive."

Omi's blush deepened. "Why not?"

"It's okay, Omi," Ken said, patting him on the head. "Aya's just too cold to recognize any sort of interesting thoughts."

"You're too dense to have any," Aya said.

"Yeah, yeah," Ken said, waving this aside. "Anyway, I knew Yohji would get over it. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, to have an assassin for a boyfriend."

"I still can't figure out how they found out about us," Omi grumbled. "And I can't find anything on them. I don't like it."

"Well, do what Yohji does," Ken said. "Start dating that other kid that was with Schuldig-san the other day and I'm sure he'll tell you all about it."

"Ken-kun!" Omi looked astonished, then muttered, "I don't even know if he's interested."

"Ask Schuldig," Aya replied dryly.

"Absolutely not," Omi said. "Don't you two have something useful to do?"

"No," Ken said. "You were the one eavesdropping."

"Find something useful to do."

"Yes, sir." Ken looked at Aya. "Don't mind him. Crushes make him cranky."

"I'll get you for that," Omi said, going into the kitchen to get a drink, mostly so he could yell at Yohji for having his feet on the table. Ken grinned and walked off, but was secretly worried. Omi probably would get him for it, too.

"If I catch your feet on the table again, you're going to lose them," Omi said, whacking Yohji upside the head.

Yohji just grinned unremorsefully at him. Nothing could ruin his good mood.

"You take that kind of abuse?" Schuldig asked him.

"Well, yeah. Omi's scary. Ne, Omittchi?"

"Yes," Omi said.

^^^^

"So let me get this straight," Ken said, tapping one foot while staring at Aya, "did that brunette want to date you or something?"

Aya frowned. His mouth hovered half-open for a minute before answering. "Yes," he finally said.

"Why'd you turn her down?" Yohji asked curiously. "She was a cutie."

Aya tried to think of a way to explain that didn't involve his sister. He also had to repress the urge to snarl at Yohji to stay away from said sister if she ever woke up. "She reminded me of somebody else," he said.

"Ohh," Yohji said. "Here I was thinking you were discriminating against the poor girl for only having one kidney."

"Yohji, what's your problem?" Aya asked, glaring at him.

Yohji blinked innocently at him. "I don't have a problem. What's your problem?"

"What makes you think I have one?" Aya asked.

"Because you're so damn defensive all the time," Ken chipped in.

"Yohji's always a flirt," Aya said. "Does that mean he has a problem? Since when are character traits a problem?"

"Being a flirt is a good character trait," Yohji said. "Being defensive isn't."

Aya scowled at him. "I do not have a problem."

"Sure, sure," Yohji said offhandedly.

"Why do you feel the need to harrass me?" Aya asked him.

"Because that's what I do to everyone," Yohji said, and Ken nodded seriously in the background. "I tease Ken about being a jock and not wanting to do laundry and I tease Omittchi about surfing the 'net for porn and having underage girlfriends, and I tease you about being an overbearing defensive cold-hearted bastard." He delivered this statement with a cheerful smile.

"I am not overbearing, nor am I cold-hearted."

"Well, that's why I tease you more for being a defensive bastard."

Aya scowled again, then turned and left the room.

Yohji gave a melodramatic sigh. "He'll never learn to get along in this house if he doesn't get used to be teased."

"He's doing better than he was," Ken pointed out.

"Too true," Yohji said.

^^^^

"You want me to take you where and teach you what?" Nagi asked, looking up from the book he was reading and blinking up at Schuldig in bewilderment.

"Computer shopping," Schuldig said with a grin.

"What do you need a computer for?" Nagi asked skeptically.

"I don't need one," Schuldig said. "I just want one."

"For what?"

"To cure the mind-numbing boredom I seem to be suffering from?"

"So you want one that can run games," Nagi said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Well, games would be nice," Schuldig said. "I want one that will run the Internet. You know, in an adequate manner."

Nagi rolled his eyes. "Do you have the money?"

"Of course I have the money. What do I spend my money on?"

"Nice clothes and dates with Yohji-san."

"How much money are we talking here?"

Nagi raised an eyebrow at him. "You want it in yen, marks, or dollars?"

"All three?"

"Ha very ha. Let's just go. If your credit card isn't accepted, we'll know it was too much."

"Now you're talking," Schuldig said, following Nagi out of the apartment. Crawford was out for the day on business, and Farferello had been in one of his less copascetic moods. This was to say that Crawford had sedated him before leaving that morning. "I'll drive."

Nagi turned to him. "Do you have permission yet? Or a car, for that matter?"

"Yes and yes," he said.

"Good."

"So," Schuldig said, once they were in the car, "guess who thinks you have pretty eyes."

Nagi blinked at him. "The easter bunny."

"Possibly. I don't check in with the easter bunny very often." Upon seeing that Nagi was going to rise to his bait, he continued, "I just thought you'd be interested. I was under the impression that you thought Omi was cute."

"That's none of your business," Nagi said calmly, but his cheeks colored a little.

"Of course it's my business," Schuldig said. "I get to harrass you, and have the opportunity to make you happy."

"I fail to see how," Nagi said, staring out the window with great interest.

"So you don't want to date him?"

"I don't really see the point of it, no."

"Nagi, you're a strange, strange kid."

"Mm hmm." Nagi didn't reply more than that, but kept staring outside as if it held the secrets to the universe.

"No fun," Schuldig said. "Just no fun." He decided he may as well let the subject go. There was only so much he could push at once. It lost interest if he actually pissed Nagi off, but needling him a bit at a time could last for months.

"You actually poked around in his head to see if he found me attractive?" Nagi finally asked, after a few minutes of silence. He sounded a bit incredulous.

"I didn't really have to," Schuldig said. "It was right on top."

"You shouldn't have been looking in his mind at all," Nagi accused.

"And while we're at it, why don't I just put my fingers in my ears and close my eyes."

"You might be a lot more pleasant that way, yeah."

Schuldig couldn't help but laugh. He knew he had deserved that, and in all actuality it had been a fairly good comeback. So he didn't reply.

"Sorry," Nagi finally muttered, taking the silence to mean that Schuldig was mad at him.

"That's right," Schuldig said. "Be sure you don't outsmart me ever again."

Nagi laughed, but there was a hesitant, cringing aspect to it.

"What?" Schuldig asked.

"Nothing," Nagi said quickly.

"It's not nothing. You sound like you're afraid I'm going to open the door and drop you into moving traffic or something."

"You couldn't do that from where you're sitting."

"It's not like it would matter. You could stop a speeding train."

"Yeah," Nagi agreed.

"So stop avoiding."

"Avoiding what?"

"What's your problem? Why are you behaving like I'm going to hit you or something?"

"I don't think you were going to hit me." But you were mad at me and I didn't like it.

Schuldig wasn't sure if Nagi was intentionally directing the thought at him, since he didn't want to say it out loud, or if he'd merely picked it up. "I wasn't mad at you."

/Well, you sure seemed it./

"I did?"

"Yes. But it's probably just me, so don't worry about it."

"You really are afraid we're going to get rid of you, aren't you."

"No!" Nagi protested. "I'm just . . . not good for much, that's all."

"What's your idea of good for something?" Schuldig asked.

Nagi just shrugged, hunching forward.

"Most of the time you're a lot more use around the house than I am."

"I guess."

"Trust me. We keep you around for a reason."

"I know."

"Kid?" Schuldig said. "You need serious therapy."

"I know."

^^^^

Schuldig had always found bodyguard work boring. It was always a matter of sitting around waiting for something to happen. And unlike Brad, he couldn't just peek into the future and see if it was an okay time to go for coffee. But of course Brad was being his usual smug self and not even hinting at whether or not the politician was going to be attacked any time in the near future.

Personally, Schuldig thought so. Brad had said specifically had wanted to see Farferello in action, so he wouldn't have accepted the job if nothing was ever going to happen. Of course, who could tell how Brad thought? Maybe he just wanted some easy money.

It was no question, however, that plenty of people would have been quite happy to assassinate the politician, Hayabusa. Schuldig had poked in his head for fun and found all sorts of interesting and illegal and at times quite disgusting things that the man was doing or planning.

Society was just going down the drain.

Still, it meant that sooner or later, he would be able to have some fun. He wasn't patient by nature, so the job grated on his nerves, but he did his best to entertain himself by trying to get some semblance of sanity out of Farferello.

Though that, for the most part, was a lost cause.

Amazingly, he wasn't entirely incoherent. But conversations with him had a tendency to be like an out-of-body experience.

Currently, they were sitting around a staff lounge. Farferello was on the couch playing with his knives. Hayabusa kept giving him nervous looks, but was doing his best to concentrate on his paperwork. It didn't help that Farferllo kept smiling ferally whenever Hayabusa looked at him. Schuldig could tell that Farferllo was getting a real kick out of making the man uncomfortable.

Nagi was at home, putting Schuldig's computer together. He had promised the redhead that it would be operational by the time they got home. As for Brad, Schuldig didn't have any idea where he was off to.

Hayabusa shut his folder full of papers and loaded them into his briefcase. "Let's go," he said brusquely.

Schuldig sighed and stood up, then gave Farferello a glance as he continued to play with his knives. "Farfie," he said. "Come on."

Farferello stood up and walked over to Schuldig, leaning close. "I'm not your dog," he stated. "I do not heel."

Schuldig rolled his eyes. "Let's just get him home so we can go about our business," he said. Brad had set up an expensive security system around Hayabusa's house, and that had satisfied the politician so they didn't need to stay there all night.

Schuldig was quite grateful for that. Watching water boil had a higher excitement factor than watching Hayabusa do his work.

Hayabusa set out into the hallway. They were about halfway to the car when Schuldig sensed a new presence. It wasn't an unfamiliar one. In fact, it was all too familiar.

Just then, the lights went out.

Schuldig swore whole-heartedly in German. He quickly scanned his mental schematics of the building and tried to figure out if there was another way out that wouldn't deliver them right into Weiss' arms. There was only one other door, and a quick mental sweep revealed that Ken was there. Well, that would be better than facing Yohji and Aya, who were getting closer by the second . . .

"This way," Schuldig said. He got Hayabusa by one arm and started towards the back door. Farferello followed along complacently, but there was an unnerving gleam in his eyes.

He felt a brief moment of mental confusion, then realized that Aya and Yohji were changing directions, heading to cut them off. He glanced around and saw a security camera, and swore again. Omi had hacked into the system; he knew exactly where they were going.

In a fit of irritation, he shot the visible camera, but he knew that it wouldn't really help.

"What are we going to do?" Hayabusa asked, noting that Schuldig had, in fact, stopped walking.

Schuldig started forward again without answering. It was only a few seconds later that Yohji and Aya came out a side door. They both did a double take to see Schuldig.

Schuldig leveled his gun at them. "Let us through," he said calmly.

Aya remained stone-faced, and drew his katana.

"We can't just let the target go," Yohji said. His voice was calm, though Schuldig could tell that his mind was not.

Farferello leaned against the wall and drew his knife. "Take care of this," he said to Schuldig. "Or I'll paint the walls with their blood."

"Ew," Schuldig muttered. He turned back to Yohji and Aya. "One more time," he said. "Back off."

"Will you shoot me?" Yohji asked, meeting his eyes.

"No," Schuldig said.

There was a long moment of silence, in which Yohji considered his options. He eventually came to the conclusion that he didn't have any. He knew that Schuldig was too good for him to get the gun away from. He glanced around quickly. No cameras in this section. That meant that Omi couldn't see what was happening, so Ken would not be on his way to back them up unless he called for help.

"All right," he finally said, and took a few steps backwards. "Aya, let's go."

Aya gave him an incredulous look before starting forward at a run.

"You fucking idiot," Schuldig muttered, and aimed carefully before pulling the trigger.

Aya staggered backwards, his hand going to his right shoulder. The katana clattered to the floor.

Yohji swore viciously and caught him before he could fall, grabbing his radio. "Bombay! We've got trouble, Abassynian's hurt."

Schuldig took Hayabusa by the arm and calmly walked past them. Farferello grinned at the sight of the blood and followed without a word. Yohji made no move to stop them; he was too busy trying to keep Aya from bleeding to death.

Farferello turned slightly to wave at Aya and Yohji. "Night night, kitties," he said, smiling.

Yohji said something vulgar and unrepeatable.

They met Ken on the way there, but a few mental tricks on Schuldig's part convinced Ken that they weren't his problem. A good dose of blinding, eye-popping migraine did the trick fairly well. It was a bit more wearing than shooting him, but would save Weiss the trouble of having two injured members.

They escorted Hayabusa home. The politician was practically weak-kneed with gratitude.

Brad was waiting when they got home, drinking his coffee as usual.

"Are you sure he's not a psychic or something?" Schuldig asked, gesturing to Farferello before dropping his jacket on the chair. Farferello was headed for the coffee pot, which in Schuldig's opinion, didn't seem like a particularly good idea.

"He has no classifiable talents," Brad replied, not looking up.

"Well, he's creepy," Schuldig said, dropping into the chair next to Brad. "He knew who Yohji was!"

"He probably read the expression on your face," Brad said, sipping his coffee. "He's quite perceptive. And there's only one person outside of us that you associate with regularly, that you might possibly meet in this situation."

"That might be it," Farferello said, heading towards his bedroom with his coffee. "But I'm not telling."

Brad gave him a glance and made a mental note to go retrieve the mug in about fifteen minutes, before Farferello could break it and use the shards to do something bloody. "Your knives," he said, extending his hand.

"No sense of adventure," Farferello admonished, but he handed over the knives without complaint. He was fond of being let out of his room, and had finally made the connection that good behaviour was often rewarded. At least, Brad rewarded him for good behaviour.

Brad glanced at Schuldig, who was pouting. "All went well?" he asked.

"I shot their cranky redhead."

"I see." Brad took this in stride. "I'll make sure we get a bonus from Hayabusa."

"Nice," Schuldig said. "And in his own creepy way, Farferello's not too bad."

Brad glanced up, looking at Schuldig over the rims of his glasses. "Yes, but I believe that I told you I wanted to see him in action. You deliberately disobeyed my orders by taking care of the threat yourself."

"Yes, I did," Schuldig said. "And I don't feel bad."

"That would be too much to ask," Brad said dryly.

"He gave me permission," Schuldig said.

"That doesn't matter. He may have, but I did not. He's been here over two months and we have yet to see him fight a real opponent. Naturally, the fact that we've been abandoned by Esstet hasn't helped, since it makes it difficult to get jobs, but I'm . . . displeased with the way this turned out."

"Next time you want to turn him loose, pick an assignment where Yohji and his team won't be involved."

Brad lifted his eyebrows. "That sounded like an order."

"This wasn't supposed to be a battle for supremacy," Schuldig snapped. "I just didn't want Farferello to splatter Yohji all over the wall."

"Hm," Brad said. "Well, in any case, it doesn't matter now."

"Normally I would dismiss a statement like that," Schuldig said, his eyes narrowing. "What are you not telling me now?"

Brad looked up again, his expression deceptively blank. "You shot one of his teammates, Schuldig. I imagine he's not overly pleased with you at the moment. So I won't bother troubling myself with further questions about your relationship with him."

"Did you know they were going to be there?" Schuldig snarled. "Did you fucking set me up?"

"I wanted to see how you would handle it," Brad replied. "If it's any comfort, I knew that Farferello wouldn't get to splatter Yohji all over the wall."

Schuldig stared at him. "You unbelievable, mother-fucking bastard!" he declared. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door as hard as he could.

^^^^