Author's Note: Yay, this is the second to the last chapter...aren't you excited? I am...
Disclaimers Applied.
Thanks for those who reviewed!
miyako14, Lady Priestess, Elementalmoon, Rose Angelz, Cherry-Lipz09, butterfly-grl4, Penny: Angel of Darkest Dreams, sabacat, Night's Tempest44,
MIXED EMOTIONS
Chapter 15: The Man I Cried For
"Happy Birthday!" Mari and Aren greeted me as they handed me a carefully-wrapped gift.
"Thank you," I said and accepted the gift.
"No smile for us?" Mari asked and a small smile just had to escape me.
"Come on, guys. Cut it out," I said weakly as I opened my class record.
"So, where are you going to celebrate your birthday? You're twenty-two now," Aren asked me and purposely snatched my record from my grasp.
"Hey!" I protested, then sighed, I know I won't be able to get it from them without answering the question. "Alright. I'm not in the mood to celebrate so maybe I'll just go home and sleep."
"What?!" they asked in unison, "you're kidding!" Aren said.
"I'm not," I said as I grabbed my record from her, "I just can't see the point to celebrate."
"You're boring," Mari moaned and Aren nodded her head in agreement.
I had to laugh at that. "Whatever. I need to go to class."
"Good evening, class," I greeted as I prepared to conduct my last class for the day.
After I've graduated from college, I decided to teach in high school for a year, then decided to teach college students, instead.
The reason? I just realized that I don't have the courage to discipline bullies from high schools because they reminded me so much of you. So, even if sometimes I have to conduct my classes in the evening, for me it was still better.
For my heart, that is.
"My god, he's so cute," I heard, then muffled giggles followed.
I tried to let it pass. Let the silly girls dream about their crushes, I told myself…but the second and third time it happened, it distracted me from teaching the other students who were ready to listen.
"What's the noise all about?" I demanded and the three girls sat still, embarrassed look on their faces.
Satisfied, I turned around and faced the board to write down the topics for discussion for the night. But I haven't finished the first bullet point when I heard a number of gasps.
"What the –"
"Happy birthday to you –" Niki sang as she walked towards me, carrying a small cake with a single candle in the middle.
Rooted on the spot, I didn't realize that I just regained my senses only when the song ended. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Well, it was your birthday so we decided to take a day off from work and celebrate with you," Hina said, a big smile on her face, behind her, Meia, also smiling.
"Oh my." I said, for once, I forgot that I'm in front of my class, "who planned this?"
"We did," Kurama appeared along with Botan, Yukina, Kuwabara and Shizuru. We are almost complete, only one person was missing, I thought.
"Anou, Hiei couldn't come because he's not in a socializing mood," Botan told me and to my horror, I burst into tears.
The whole crowd looked at me in astonishment, fear and surprise.
"Well, had I known you would take personally that Hiei couldn't come, I would have dragged him here no matter what," Kurama joked that I had to smile.
"What's going…oh," Aren and Mari suddenly looked dumbfounded when they saw the crowd in my once orderly classroom.
I smiled brightly at them, "Aren, Mari, I want to meet my friends way back," I said and one by one introduced them. It's not a surprise, though, that there were quite a number of whispers and giggles when I introduced Kurama.
"Well, it was a pleasure to meet all of you," Aren said almost consciously and, "Oh my, there are lots of foods here," she said referring to the number of containers my friends brought with them.
"Of course. We want the whole class to celebrate with us," Botan said and the class suddenly cheered wildly.
"Can I talk to you?" Botan asked me as the whole class and my friends began to eat.
"Sure," I said, "What is it?"
"Are you really hurt that Hiei couldn't come?" she asked me seriously that I burst out laughing.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Of course not. It was just, I was just too overwhelmed that, you know, I'm so surprised –" I paused, then sighed, "I'm not really making any sense, am I?"
Botan nodded slowly and we once again burst into laughter.
Then, a tap on my shoulder.
"So, did you enjoy your party?" Kurama asked me, a big smile on his face.
"Yeah, thanks so much," I said sincerely.
"We haven't given you your gift, yet," he told me and I began shaking my head.
"You don't have to give me anything. This is more than –"
CHANGE OF POV
I sighed as I leaned on the wall, my patience slowly running out.
How long do they plan to keep my out here, anyway, I thought as I scratched my neck in annoyance.
I mean, I've been kept from you for two and a half year. And I'm more than ready to barge in to hold you in my arms again.
Besides, sentimentality aside, I'm really hungry and the smell of food coming from inside was already making my mouth water.
And then, the door finally opened, Kurama holding in for me, and I had to sigh. Finally.
I entered the room and glared at the kitsune, "I thought, for one second back there, that you're going to make me wait out there until the party is over."
"Yuusuke."
A whisper, yet I heard it just the same as my eyes scanned for the owner of that voice. And then, our eyes met and the happiness I saw in yours almost brought me to my knees.
"Tadaima, Keiko," I said, and forgot everything else I was about to say because you launched yourself in my arms.
CHANGE OF POV
My eyes filled with tears as you walked inside the classroom. My gift – Kurama fondly called.
And as if I'm seeing you in slow motion, you came back to me. "Yuusuke," I whispered, and no matter how low I said it, I saw you scan the crowd for me.
Our eyes met and before I knew what was happening, unaware of the silence that surrounded the room, unaware that all eyes were now focused on me, my feet carried me towards you, barely registering into my mind when you said, "Tadaima, Keiko," I threw my arms around you and the tears that's been forming in my eyes since I saw you flowed freely from my eyes.
"Oh my god," I sobbed on your neck, as I hold you tight against me, not wanting to let go, wanting you to be with me from this moment on.
"Oh my god," I repeated a number of times, not caring at all if I look so pathetic crying like this in front of my co-teachers and students. They wouldn't understand, anyway.
No one would understand how much I love this man.
No man would understand how much I love you.
CHANGE OF POV
I heard Niki cleared her throat and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention, "Alright, show's over. Let them have their privacy and let's just party and celebrate, alright?"
I was grateful for that. Because no matter how comfortable and content I am now that you're in my arms once again, I found that having everyone's eyes on me was nerve-wracking. I began to ease my hold on you.
"Kei?" I began.
"Hm?" you answered in that contented tone of yours.
"I think you should let go now," I whispered and glanced at Kuwabara who was throwing me some knowing glances.
"No."
it was barely audible that I had to ask you what you said.
"I said 'no'. I'm not going to let you go again," you said and from the tone of your voice, I doubt if you're aware of what you just said.
I scratched my head as I continued to hold you awkwardly. "Kei –"
Then, a rumbling sound from my stomach made you pull away suddenly – surprise written all over your face.
I continued to scratch my head, "I haven't eaten anything since this morning," I admitted as I patted my empty stomach.
"Oh," you said as blood rushed to your face, "I'm so sorry. I didn't think –" you handed me an empty plate, "here. Please, eat your dinner."
I accepted and smiled at you in return, then I turned to get my food. When I again turned around to talk to you, I found you talking to your new friends, I think, because I don't recognize them.
So, I just leaned against the wall and started eating.
CHANGE OF POV
Aren grabbed me as soon as you turned around to serve yourself with food.
"I think there's something going on you're not telling us," Mari told me with that odd look on her face.
I grinned at her. "I think I'm going to celebrate my birthday after all."
Aren gaped at me, "You think?" she asked, "Who was that guy anyway?"
"Oh. It's Yuusuke," I said as if that explained everything.
Mari rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh. Now we know his name. Who is he? You're boyfriend?"
My smile faltered a little. "No, he's my bestfriend. We've been friends all my life."
"Really?" Mari asked in a tone that says she didn't believe me.
"And I've been in love with him for about that long time now," I continued. There's no use in keeping it from them. They're bound to notice it, anyway.
"Oh."
I cleared my throat. "I have never really told you why Omi and I broke up."
They nodded at me, then, "Does this Yuusuke guy have something to do with it?"
"In a way, yeah," I said and sighed as I relayed to them the whole story.
And after twenty minutes of telling them what I've been through, they nodded slowly, for once understanding the situation I'm in.
"So, you're going to marry that guy?" Aren asked.
My eyes widened and I felt my blood rushed to my head, "I don't know. I don't really know how he felt about me."
"Believe me, dear –"
"Uh, sorry to interrupt," you suddenly appeared and if it were possible, I think I blushed more. What if you overhead our conversation?
"What's wrong?" I managed to ask.
"Kurama and Botan are leaving. I guess Botan's not that comfortable that your female students are ogling her boyfriend," you said and threw nervous glances at Aren and Mari.
"Oh, okay. Oh, by the way," I suddenly remembered. "Yuusuke, these are Aren and Mari, my co-teachers. Guys, this is Yuusuke, my best friend."
CHANGE OF POV
I stole a glance at you as I picked up the few remaining trash in the classroom.
"All done!" you suddenly declared with a big smile on your face. "Are you finished?"
"Just a few more seconds," I said and continued cleaning the room. However, a thought kept distracting me…
This is Yuusuke, my best friend.
My best friend.
Was that all I am to you? Nothing more?
"Well, that was it," I finally said and looked nervously at you. "That was a nice party you got, the whole room was a mess."
You grinned at me, "I know. You didn't have to stay to clean up, though."
I shrugged nonchalantly as we walked out of the school side by side.
And because of that very uninterested response, your smile faltered a little. "Yuusuke, I want to thank you for –"
I cut you off, "this isn't my idea. Kurama and Botan are responsible for this party, you know."
You looked at me suspiciously, "Right. Kurama and Botan knew Niki and the others."
I sighed. You're just too smart for me to fool. "Alright. It was my idea. I take the blame, so sue me. What's the matter?" I suddenly asked when you blushed.
You stopped walking. "Thank you for everything."
I shrugged again that you hit my arm.
"Why do you keep on shrugging like this is nothing to you?" you asked and when I did not answer, you laughed. "I don't believe you!"
We continued walking in silence, when, "how was your trip in Makai?" I suddenly stopped.
I shrugged again, "it was fine," then resumed walking.
You reached for my arm and when I looked at you, "Is there something wrong?"
"No. Nothing's wrong."
But still you looked at me worriedly. "Then why do I feel as if you don't want to talk to me?"
Need you ask? I wanted to tell you. I just came back only to realize that what you feel for me was only friendship – even after that kiss we shared.
"That's not true," I said lamely, instead.
"Then tell me about…about your trip in Makai," you challenged me.
And for the first time in my life, I took the coward's way out…and lied to you. "Enki just told me to go back there as soon as I can. He allowed me to visit here to say goodbyes," I said.
And for a minute, I really thought of going back as soon as I'm confident enough that you'll be happy with Zekuna.
To go back there and heal my broken heart…and maybe, Enki could pass me some of his inability to feel love.
Maybe then, I would ceased to be hurt.
But you don't look too happy now…because you looked livid. "Do you mean to tell me that after asking me to wait for you for three years, you would just waltz in my life just to tell me you're going to stay there for good?"
I looked away. Obviously, I'm not that comfortable lying to you. "Uh, you could say that."
I didn't expect the hand that slapped me, I cringed at the impact of it. I looked at you only to see your eyes clouding with tears.
"I'm starting to hate you, Urameshi Yuusuke," you said angrily.
And again, I shrugged. Hiding what I really feel inside, "you won't notice I'm gone, Keiko. I know you and Zekuna would be happy even without me."
"Omi and I broke up several months ago," you said rigidly, that I looked up – to see you crying.
I quickly looked away and bit my lip to stop myself from laughing bitterly. And if I could, I would stop myself from feeling bitter, too. Because if you cry for him, then you must love him so much.
So much that you feel the pain it brought.
Like the pain I felt when I loved you.
"And do you cry for him?" I asked lowly.
A bitter smile appeared on your tearstained face. "There's only one man I cried for, Urameshi Yuusuke, and you know that. I just hope that someday…someday he'll be worthy of all the tears I shed for him."
Before I could say anything, you turned around and started walking away.
Author's Note: Oh...okay, I just can't resist to make those two fight even in the second to the last chapter, ne? Anyway, what I wanted to say is, why don't you drop me a review so that I'll be inspired to write the last chapter beautifully? Ne? Owkie...Ja!