Chapter Twelve

When Schuldig finally dragged himself out of bed around eleven o'clock, Nagi was still sound asleep on the sofa and Yohji was late for his shift in the flower shop. He was promptly dragged off by Ken, and Schuldig decided he had overstayed his welcome. If Nagi was still asleep, it was most likely because he had worn himself out using his Talent. Schuldig left him there to rest, cheerfully imagining the look on Nagi's face when he woke up and found himself alone with Weiss -- particularly Omi.

He whistled all the way home, and entered the apartment pleased with life in general and one Bradley Crawford in specific. He had been angry the night before, when Crawford had been his enigmatic bastard self. But Schuldig was smart enough to know that Brad had set this up for him. The night before, Yohji had not been speaking to him. Now they were on good terms again.

It was safe to say that it would have taken a lot to spoil Schuldig's mood that morning.

Brad was at the kitchen table with his morning paper and morning coffee as usual, which Schuldig found amusing, since it was nearly noon. "Good morning," he said, checking his watch and noting that there were indeed still five minutes of morning left.

Schuldig wondered idly if Brad actually slept in on mornings that no one would notice. Nah. He leaned over and stole his coffee. "You are a manipulative bastard," he said cheerfully. "You know that, right?"

"It would be hard to have missed it all this time," Brad said.

Schuldig took a sip of the coffee and studied Brad over the rim of the mug. "Sometimes I love you for it," he said, then added seriously, "but I'm confused. I thought you didn't want me involved with Weiss."

"I don't," Brad stated, taking his mug of coffee back. "What makes you think I do?"

"Well, this would have been the perfect opportunity to end the whole thing," Schuldig pointed out reasonably. "If you hadn't said anything, they would be dead, end of story. But you did say something, and I'm willing to bet you knew what would happen afterwards. So." He shrugged and reiterated, "I'm confused."

"Maybe I wanted them alive, but don't want you involved with them," Brad said. He was smiling enigmatically, studying the newspaper, and not looking at Schuldig as he spoke.

Schuldig snagged the top of the paper and folded it down. "Not the reason," he stated. "You could have just tipped them off. There was no reason to send Nagi-chen and I to go rescue them if you didn't want things cleared up between us. So what gives."

Brad was outright smiling. "You seem to be enjoying your assumptions," he said, amused. "So why don't you tell me what you think I'm up to?"

"See, that's where I get stuck," Schuldig complained. "I can think of good things that would come out of this, but I'm not sure any of them are worth the risk."

"Which risk would that be?" Brad asked. "There's a box of donuts on the counter, by the way."

Schuldig frowned slightly. Brad usually only got donuts if he was very pleased with how something had gone. He pondered this while he got a glazed donut and poured himself a mug of coffee. "Well, they work for a larger group which, while not being as big as Esstet, could be dangerous to us. Or, more important, Esstet could take exception to this and decide to wipe us off the face of the planet."

Brad snorted. "All because you got a boyfriend?" he asked, still sounding amused. "I somehow doubt Esstet will care very much."

Schuldig still frowned. It was very hard to tell when Brad was lying, because he was a very good liar, but he was going on a hunch that he was. "Not because I have a boyfriend," he said. "Because that boyfriend is part of a large and reasonably dangerous entity. And Nagi is making nice to a hacker at least as good as himself."

Brad sighed slightly. "You're forgetting something, Schuldig," he said. "I'm a precog. I've checked over and over again, and Esstet either doesn't know or doesn't care that you're assocating with a member of Kritiker. The worst that can happen is that the two of you will come against each other seriously on a mission."

"So when did you change your mind about us being together?" Schuldig asked, accepting this logic for the time being. He took a large bite of his donut and asked, "Or more importantly, what do you want them for?"

"I never had any problem with you being together," Brad said mildly. "I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the potential consequences your relationship could have." He ignored the second question entirely.

"And . . ." Schuldig said.

Brad smirked. "And I think you two make a very cute couple."

"I do too," Schuldig said, smirking right back. "What do you want them for?"

"Personally, I don't want any of them," Brad said dryly.

Schuldig poked him in the nose with his donut, which caused Brad to give him a very annoyed look. "Then what do they contribute to your grand plan?" he asked. He hoped Brad didn't deny having a grand plan. Then he'd just have to laugh.

Brad leveled him with a serious look. "I don't think I'll tell you."

"Why not?" Schuldig asked, resisting the urge to pout.

"Because I don't want you to know." He kept up with the serious look for a few moments. "Do you trust me?"

Schuldig looked incredulous. "Didn't I already tell you I did?"

"Yes." Brad smiled slightly. "But I thought I would ask again. Trust me on this, Schuldig . . . when the time comes, you'll know why I wanted Weiss involved."

"Oh, all right, you secretive bastard," Schuldig said, but his tone of voice was amused.

"I take it that Nagi is still there?" Brad asked, deftly changing the subject.

"Still all tucked into the sofa," Schuldig confirmed. "Very cute. Anything exciting happening today?"

Brad flicked the newspaper back up. "Yesterday wasn't exciting enough for you?"

"That was yesterday," Schuldig said, his tone of voice implying that Brad should have known better than to have to ask such a silly question. "This is today I was asking about."

"In that case, no," Brad said. "Quite frankly, I wasn't sure you'd be home at all, and I don't know when Nagi will be." He closed his eyes briefly. "About two, I expect. Take the day off. Play on your computer."

"You want to go see a movie?" Schuldig asked. Anything that would get Brad to stop working for more than an hour made the day a success.

Brad raised an eyebrow. "I said that you could have the day off. I never said that I was taking it."

"Why not?" Schuldig asked. "You work too hard. You'll die of a heart attack before anything else can happen."

"I assure you that I don't foresee dying of a heart attack," Brad said, amused.

"You better not," Schuldig said, finishing off his donut.

"In that case, yes, I'll go to the movies with you. But we should wait until Nagi gets home. I don't think he'd take well to getting home to an apartment that's empty except for Farferello."

"Think we can get him to come with us?" Schuldig asked. "Nagi, not Farfie. I don't think he's the movie type."

"We can try." Brad paused. "And by 'we', I mean 'you.'"

Schuldig nodded. "Maybe Omi can get him to perk up some," he said thoughtfully. "I think Nagi is more likely to have a heart attack then you are."

"He's much more resilient than that," Brad said complacently. "He's stronger than he looks. In fact, he's far stronger than he thinks he is."

"I wish he'd realize that," Schuldig said. "I worry about him."

"You worry about everyone," Brad replied.

"It makes me feel better."

Brad smiled slightly. "I know."

^^^^

Nagi woke up slowly, at first, then snapped to full awareness when he realized he was in unfamiliar surroundings. It took him a few seconds to remember the events of the previous day, and realize that he had fallen asleep on the couch. This was enough to make him start blushing.

He climbed off the couch and silently explored the first floor, looking for Schuldig. When there was no sign of him, or anyone else, he concluded that Schuldig had gone home and the others were probably working. Given this, he poked his head into the back room of the flower shop, looking around. Omi was there, putting together an arrangement. "Ano . . ." Nagi said.

Omi turned and saw him, smiling cheerfully, flowers in both hands. "Hey. We didn't want to wake you."

"I didn't mean to sleep all day," Nagi said, embarrassed. A quick check of his watch revealed that it was nearly one o'clock.

"It's okay," Omi said, putting a flower into the arrangement, frowning, and then adding another. "You saved our bacon last night. You're entitled to the sofa." He put the remaining flowers into a bucket of water, wiped his hands on his apron, and turned to Nagi. "You want something to eat?"

Nagi realized suddenly that he was absolutely starving. It happened occasionally after he used his telekinesis in large amounts. "That's okay . . . I don't want to be a bother. Did Schuldig go home already?" He already knew the answer, and was sure that Schuldig had taken great delight in abandoning him there.

"Yeah, he did," Omi said. He went over to the sink and washed his hands. "And it's not a bother," he added. "I can just make something quick for you." He had a feeling that if he offered anything more than that, Nagi might suffer from a brain aneurysm.

"But you're working," Nagi said. "It's okay. I'll just take the subway home."

Omi smiled. "I don't bite, you know."

Nagi blushed. "I know. I'm always like this. Just ask Schuldig."

"I . . . think I'll leave dealing with him to Yohji," Omi said, taking his apron off and hanging it on one of the pegs. "He's a bit too odd for me." He headed purposefully towards the kitchen. "C'mon, let's get you something to eat."

Put like that, Nagi found it difficult to argue. "Okay . . ." was all he managed, as he followed Omi towards the kitchen. He made a mental note to get Schuldig back for this. Maybe he'd find a way to feed him turtle.

Omi started rooting around in the fridge. "What do you want?" he asked, discarding a few Tupperware. "Soup? Sandwich?" He dug further. "Riceball?"

Nagi tried to not squeak. "Whatever you have is fine," he said, quickly taking a seat.

Omi slumped, then decided it wasn't worth arguing over. He brought out ingredients to make a sandwich and slapped two together, putting one on the table in front of Nagi and keeping the other for himself. "Tea?" he asked. Aya had made a pot that morning.

"Tea would be nice," Nagi said, then added, "Thank you."

Omi poured them both a mug and sat down with his sandwich, munching contently and trying to think of a conversation topic that wouldn't sent Nagi skittering for the wings. Much to his surprise, Nagi spoke first. "I'm sorry for lying around on your sofa all day," he said. "I don't know why Schuldig didn't wake me."

Omi smiled. "The sofa can take it, and you looked like you could really use the rest."

Nagi nodded slightly, taking a small bite of his sandwich. "Missions really tire me out sometimes . . ."

"You'll get used to it," Omi said. "It's a lot less wearing after a few years."

Nagi nodded again. "Schuldig never really seems tired . . . or Crawford. I guess it's just me."

"Missions used to wipe me out," Omi told him. "They were too much stress. Now I get up the next day and make flower arrangements for weddings." He frowned slightly. "That just seems wrong somehow," he added.

Nagi laughed. "Maybe you should only make arrangements for funerals."

"It would be more appropriate," Omi agreed. "Although with all the fangirls, we really don't need to take orders at all."

Nagi looked faintly alarmed at this comment. "Fangirls?"

Omi rolled his eyes, looking quite put upon. "They swarm the shop in the hopes of catching our attention. They come with the sole purpose of watching us. Apparently they think we're cute. It's really scary."

Nagi blushed brilliantly, because he did indeed think that Omi was cute. "Yeah . . . sure sounds like it."

"Why the blush?" Omi asked, smiling disarmingly.

"Nothing." Nagi took a large bite of his sandwich in the hopes of discouraging further questions.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Omi said thoughtfully.

"I can't imagine why not." Nagi regained his usual facial color and looked intently into his tea mug.

"So was the sandwich enough?" Omi asked, noting that Nagi hadn't finished it. He had eaten most of it, and the crusts were lying abandoned on his plate.

"Yeah," Nagi said. "I don't eat very much. Apparently I have a small stomach."

"Apparently?" Omi asked, his tone teasing. "You don't know?"

"Well, I've never taken it out and measured it, so no," Nagi replied, amused.

Omi laughed. "Finally, someone with a sense of humor that doesn't involve sex jokes," he said, referring mostly to Yohji.

Nagi immediately turned red again, but managed to keep from retreating back into his shell. "No, I rarely make sex jokes," he said conversationally. "Crawford wouldn't think they're funny, and Schuldig would beat me to the punchline every time."

"Maybe he and Yohji will concentrate on each other and stop harassing the rest of us," Omi said thoughtfully. He was still vaguely teasing, and thinking mostly about the fact that Nagi was too cute for words.

"Well, Schuldig was certainly concentrating on him enough this morning to forget all about me," Nagi grumbled.

"He's only been gone an hour or so," Omi said. "Besides, you needed the sleep." Also, he privately thought that he needed the chance to get to know Nagi a little better, and was glad that Schuldig had left him there. He wasn't about to tell Nagi that, however.

"I know, but trust me, he did this on purpose," Nagi said.

"Does he do things like this often?" Omi asked curiously, finishing off his own sandwich.

"No, but . . ." Nagi tried to think of a good way to say 'he knows I think you're cute, so he left me here on your couch.' There didn't seem to be one. "But he likes to tease me," he finished lamely.

"By leaving you on our couch?" Omi asked, feigning confusion.

"Yeah." Nagi thought fast, and decided that the truth would suit the question best. "He knows I get nervous around people I don't know very well."

"Well, you're doing pretty well," Omi said. "I'm not the greatest at entertaining guests, anyway."

"I've never really had any guests to entertain," Nagi said shyly. "So at least we're on equal footing there."

"Actually, truth be told, you're the first guest I've ever had," Omi said. "How am I doing?"

"Pretty good," Nagi assured him. "Not that I have much of a basis for comparison."

"So what should we do now?" Omi asked. "Any ideas?"

"I should probably get home, actually," Nagi said, fidgeting a little. "Crawford is probably expecting me. And I need to yell at Schu."

"You want me to give you a ride?" Omi said, figuring that pushing Nagi for further company probably wasn't a good idea. "I have a motorcycle. Not as good as a car, but it still gets me from place to place."

"Okay. A ride would be nice," Nagi said, although he knew he would have to have Omi drop him off at least a block away so he wouldn't know where their apartment was. Still, it was better than the subway. "But doesn't your arm hurt?"

"It's not too bad," Omi said with a shrug. "You did a good job of patching it up last night, and I had some painkillers about an hour ago."

"All right, then," Nagi said, then added, "Thank you."

Omi stood up and put the dishes in the sink. "We should try being social under less stressful conditions some time," he suggested.

Nagi smiled shyly. "I'd like that."

^^^^

Riding double on Omi's motorcycle was either the best or worst experience of Nagi's life, and he wasn't sure which. Certainly, being able to sit that close to him, with his arms around Omi's waist, was fun. He was just a bit afraid that he was going to nosebleed pretty soon, given how much he was blushing.

He had Omi drop him off a block and a half away from their apartment, and Omi knew better than to question. He was, after all, an assassin himself. Nagi walked the rest of the way and let himself into the apartment. Brad was sitting on the couch, reading a book instead of the newspaper for once. Schuldig was sprawled out on the other half of the sofa with a different book.

Nagi knew he was still as red as a tomato, so he decided to take the offensive before Schuldig could tease him too much. He hung up his jacket, said hello to Brad, and glared down at Schuldig with all the strength he could muster. "You."

Schuldig glanced up from his book. "Last time I checked," he said agreeably. "Though I've been wrong before."

"You're a jerk," Nagi said, almost petulantly. He settled into the armchair and continued glaring.

Schuldig smirked. "Yep."

"You stranded me!" Nagi accused.

"I did not," Schuldig said, with implacable calm. "If I had stranded you, you would still be there now."

Nagi blinked, unsure of how to fight this admittedly sound logic. "You left me there like the big jerk that you are."

Schuldig was still smirking. He surveyed Nagi's red face. "You don't seem to be suffering any ill-effects," he said, amused.

"You know I don't like to be left alone in strange places with people I don't know!" Nagi protested.

The smirk slid off Schuldig's face. Privately, he was still amused, but he didn't want Nagi to think that he didn't understand. "Relax. Omi wasn't going to hurt you. Besides, when I left, you were still out cold, so you obviously needed that sleep."

"I could have come home and slept here, and you know it," Nagi retorted. "And how did you think I was going to get home? I couldn't let Omi bring me to our doorstep. I couldn't let him know where we lived."

"I figured you would either figure it out, which you did, or call me to come get you." Schuldig stopped, seeing the slightly puzzled look on Nagi's face. "You know I would have come to get you."

Nagi kicked at the carpeting slightly. It had not occurred to him in the slightest that he could have called Schuldig for a ride. He was utterly unused to relying on other people for help. "I guess," he said, reluctantly. "But it was still a jerky thing to do."

Schuldig rolled his eyes. "I really would have come to get you," he assured Nagi. "And you handled it okay. I'd even venture to guess that you enjoyed yourself." He grinned. "You definitely need more of that."

"I hate the way you try to manipulate my life like you know what's best for me," Nagi mumbled sullenly.

"It's because I care about you," Schuldig said. The smirk was back, but the sentiment was genuine.

Nagi muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'yeah, right.' "And because you get a kick out of making me uncomfortable," he said.

Schuldig considered this. "Actually, no," he finally said. "But I do enjoy making you fight back."

"Oh, come on," Nagi said irritably. "You knew that leaving me alone with him would freak me out."

"Yeah, but I was also pretty sure that you would get over yourself enough to talk to him, and maybe enjoy yourself," Schuldig said with a shrug. He glanced over at Brad, but the older man was reading his book and for all appearances, not listening to a word they were saying. "And if you didn't, you would have been able to call me, and I would have come to your rescue."

"You don't get it," Nagi said, sounding an odd combination between depressed and annoyed. "I wouldn't have called you."

Schuldig gave him a funny look. "Why not?"

"Because I wouldn't have thought of it," Nagi said, exasperated. "It wouldn't have occurred to me."

Schuldig fought the urge to bang his head against the wall. "Well, we'll just have to work on that," he said. "You're a part of this team, and we won't leave you hanging. If you ask for help, you'll get it."

"You did leave me hanging!" Nagi said, glaring at him.

"I did not. He knew when you were going to be back," Schuldig added, gesturing at Brad, "and if you didn't show up on time, I would have marched back over there to get you."

"That's not an excuse," Nagi retorted. "You did it because you wanted to see me squirm." The concept that Schuldig had done this purely for Nagi's own good did not seem to be registering in Nagi's brain in the slightest.

"I did it because you needed the sleep and you need to make friends," Schuldig said, starting to lose his patience after having to repeat himself so often. Brad flipped another page in his book and did not look up. "Omi is perfect friend material for you."

Nagi glared at him suspiciously. "Why do you think I need to make friends?"

"Because it would boost your sense of self-worth and independence," Schuldig said succinctly.

"Then why couldn't you just stay, and tell me that you didn't want to leave for a while?" Nagi challenged. "Why did you have to leave me alone there?"

"Because if I had stayed, you would have tried to use me as a shield," Schuldig pointed out. "Plus I needed a shower and clean clothes something awful."

"I would have appreciated a shield," Nagi snapped. "Maybe a few weeks from now I would have understood, but I only just met him yesterday, really, and he was grilling me with questions I couldn't answer, and you took off and just abandoned me there and I'm supposed to believe you did it with my best interests in mind?"

Schuldig was starting to feel guilty, and it annoyed him. What he had done was for Nagi's own good, and it was irritating that the teenager couldn't seem to see that. "Look, maybe I should have thought it out a bit more," he replied, "but for Christ's sake, I wasn't out to hurt you, okay?"

"I know." Nagi's voice was strained. "But I wish that you would think things through a little more."

Schuldig slumped. "I wish you would trust us a little more," he said, working very hard to keep his impatience and guilt out of his voice.

Nagi stood up. "I try. I really do. It's just that no one seems to believe that I'm trying." He turned to leave the room.

"Jesus, Nagi, sit down." Schuldig closed his eyes and pushed a hand through his hair, now very definitely feeling guilty. He hadn't meant to snap at Nagi, and he more than anyone should have remembered how fragile Nagi still was. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

Nagi sat down, but he was still sulking in a very teenaged manner. "It . . . it's hard for me. You don't seem to understand that. Or at least you don't act like you do."

"I understand," Schuldig said. "There's no way I couldn't understand. It rolls off you in waves. But I also sometimes think that if no one pushes you, you'll just hide away in your own little world and never come out. And I know that you aren't happy like that."

"I guess," Nagi said, staring at the floor. "But . . . you push too hard, Schu." Schuldig was relieved to hear the nickname; it meant that Nagi wasn't angry anymore. "You try to make me do things that I'm not ready for yet. Like date."

"I'm sorry," Schuldig said. "I push everyone. It's the way I am." He hoped that would serve as an explanation, even if it definitely wasn't an excuse.

"Well, you should watch it," Nagi said, not in a mean way. He was simply offering advice. "Because one of these days, you'll go too far, and I'll only end up more scared than I was."

"I'll try to be more careful," Schuldig said.

Nagi shifted a little in his chair. "But don't worry too much about today," he said, noticing that Schuldig was upset. "I overreacted, I guess."

"You had a right to be pissed," Schuldig said with a shrug. "You feel what you feel, nothing wrong with that."

Brad glanced up at this, noting their game of 'who can feel worse.' Then he shook his head. "You two are both idiots," he stated.

Nagi spluttered a little, then fell silent. Schuldig just looked at Brad for a moment. "Why this time?" he finally asked.

"Because, mark my words, you're both going to persist in being miserable about making the other person miserable," Brad replied, turning another page in his book.

Schuldig huffed slightly. "Then why didn't you say anything earlier, oh great Oracle," he snapped. Brad raised an eyebrow at this, knowing how annoyed Schuldig had to be to use the codenames, which he detested. "I fucked up. He called me on it."

"I didn't say anything earlier because it was better for you two to discuss it personally. Sometimes preventing an argument only makes things worse." Brad calmly stood, put down his book, and left the room.

Schuldig watched him go with an incredulous look on his face. "That man drives me nuts," he stated.

Nagi smiled, looking a little vulnerable. "Bit late for that," he ventured.

Schuldig smiled back. "Yeah, well, I think he's the only one here with a firm grasp on his sanity. But you run a close second."

Nagi laughed. "I think we're all just crazy in different ways."

"Most likely," Schuldig agreed. "But I can't even fake it half the time."

Nagi looked shamefacedly at the floor. "I'm sorry I got angry," he said softly. "I know you're only trying to help."

Schuldig shrugged again. "I pissed you off," he said. "It's okay to be pissed off. If I overstepped my bounds, you had a right to tell me that."

Nagi frowned faintly. "But you got upset, and I didn't mean for you to get upset."

"It doesn't mean you did anything wrong," Schuldig told him. "I get upset really easily when people I care about are angry with me." He thought about this for a minute. "I think it's 'cause of my Talent."

Nagi shrugged. "I guess. But I wasn't really angry. I was just . . . upset."

"I used too specific a term," Schuldig said, and revised, "You were unhappy with me. Worse yet, I deserved it. Don't worry about it."

"I just . . . I know I shouldn't be upset about being left with Omi," Nagi said. "I know you were only trying to help."

"And I screwed up," Schuldig said. "I was the one who screwed up, not you. Look, can we both just forgive each other before we prove Crawford even more right?"

Nagi laughed. "You know, he is in charge for a reason," he said.

"Yeah," Schuldig said with a grin. "Because if it was either of us, we'd be very dead by now."

"No kidding."

"So at the risk of pissing you off again," Schuldig said brightly, "which by the way, I'm oddly proud of you for doing, can I ask what did happen while you were there?"

Nagi ignored the question. "Why are you proud of me for getting angry when you didn't like me being angry?"

"Because it means that a) you are more comfortable around us, and b) it's a sign that your backbone is still in there somewhere and that we might even be able to see it," Schuldig told him.

"Oh." Nagi frowned. "I suppose that makes sense. I think."

"You felt safe and secure enough to march in here pissed at me," Schuldig said. "Instead of being afraid that we would ditch you somewhere."

"I think it's because I didn't stop to think," Nagi admitted hesitantly, not sure if this was the right thing to say or not.

"I think I should think more, and you should think less," Schuldig said.

Nagi laughed. "Probably. Anyway, nothing happened. We just talked. And had sandwiches."

"Are you going to be social again?" Schuldig asked.

"I guess so," Nagi replied. "He seemed to want to. And I got his e-mail."

Schuldig grinned. "So how did you get back here?"

"He dropped me off a couple blocks away," Nagi said. He decided not to mention the motorcycle. That was too embarrassing for words. "I didn't think Crawford would appreciate him knowing where we live."

Schuldig snorted. "Yohji knows about our talents."

Nagi blinked incredulously. "Really?"

"He backed me into a corner about it," Schuldig said with a shrug. "He saw you save Omi, and Crawford said I could tell him." He paused, then asked, "Omi has a car?"

"No . . . a motorcycle." Nagi blushed a dark red. "And if I'd known you were going to spill the beans, I wouldn't have bothered to be so careful."

"Ah, so that's why you were blushing so much when you came in," Schuldig said with a grin and a wink. He decided not to torment Nagi any further on this subject. It probably wouldn't help. "And I didn't mean to spill the beans. Yohji just . . . gets me all turned around sometimes."

Nagi looked at him curiously. "Are you in love with him?"

Schuldig thought about it for a few minutes. "I don't know," he finally said. "But I think I very well might be. There's something about him that draws me in. And he cares about me . . . that's nice. It's not something I'm used to having from anyone but Brad, and now you."

Nagi shuffled his feet. "Must be nice," he finally said.

"It is." Schuldig grinned. "But don't give up on love yet. You've got time."

"I should hope so," Nagi said, with a mock glare.

"Just wait 'til you have to bring the lucky person home to meet the family," Schuldig said with a smirk.

Nagi groaned. "I think I'll tell them I'm an orphan."

Schuldig just laughed.

^^^^