A/N: Hooray! I got all my projects for school done! That means I have more
time to write! (cheers). I've hit a snag on "It's a Slytherin Life" and
will have to rewrite the whole chapter... (sighs). Yes yes, I know, I need to
get that done, and I'm getting it ready. Anyway, I'm taking a little break
from rewriting to write Chapter 2! I got a few reviews asking for another
chapter, and I like writing this story so much, I decided that I would
grant their requests! So enjoy! Please review! :)
CHAPTER 2
TO THE PET SHOP!
It was a strange sight to behold: Bellatrix Lestrange dragging a frozen Harry Potter across the Hogwarts grounds, with Ron skipping after her, singing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."
"AAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!" cried Bellatrix just as they left the grounds. "Would you PLEASE SHUT UP???"
Ron's lower lip trembled. "But I...I like that song Bellatrix!"
"Where did you get that bloody song anyway?" she snarled as she set up an unauthorized Portkey.
"Well...an American show called Barney! It's the most awesome show on Earth! There's another song I like on that show..." Ron threw his head back and began to sing again. "Barney is a dinosaur; he comes from 'magination..."
Bellatrix muttered something that sounded like, "...bloody Americans..." as she finished setting up the Port Key.
Ron stopped singing abruptly. "Hey, when am I gonna get my pony? I want my pony!" he demanded.
Bellatrix cursed under her breath. "We will get your pony as soon as we drop Harry Potter off with Lord Voldemort." She grinned evilly as she said this.
"Can't we get the pony NOW???" Ron whined.
"NO! First we must drop Harry Potter off with Voldemort! THEN we can get your pony! Now, grab onto this Portkey..."
Ron cluelessly grabbed the rock that had been set up as a Portkey. Bellatrix grabbed Harry and clutched the Portkey, and all three were whisked through the air to Lord Voldemort's hideout.
They landed in what appeared to be the library of an old house, its windows covered in vines of different lengths. Lord Voldemort was sitting in an armchair, reading "Taking Over the World for Dummies". He grinned and stood up when Bellatrix, Harry, and Ron arrived.
"Ah," he hissed evilly, "my old servant Bellatrix! Nice work."
"Thank you master," smirked Bellatrix, bowing. "I will leave you here to deal with Potter. Meanwhile, I have promised to take Mudblood Lover here to the pet shop for a horse."
Ron, who had been quietly singing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" the entire time, now glared at Bellatrix. "No!" he cried. "Don't try and cheat me! I said I wanted a PONY, not a HORSE!!!! GET ME A PONY!!!!!!" He began screaming hysterically and throwing a temper tantrum.
"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! A PONY! WE WILL GET YOU A PONY!" screamed Bellatrix, covering her ears.
"Oh, ok!" said Ron brightly, jumping up and grinning angelically.
Ron's fit seemed to have finally woken up Harry. He stirred, and blinked. "Where am I?" he yawned. Then his emerald eyes grew wide, and he sat up and screamed.
"HELP! THE DERANGED WEASELS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" screamed Harry.
Then he went back to normal. He looked up, and saw Lord Voldemort grinning evilly over him.
"LORD VOLDEMORT!!!" he screamed. "Ron, help me get out of here!"
"Sorry, Harry, but first Bellatrix is going to take me to the pet shop for a pony!" cried Ron happily. "Hey, maybe she'll get you one too! After the Dark Lord finishes with you, of course."
"That's right," laughed Bellatrix. "Come on, Mudblood Lover, to the pet shop!" And with a wave of her wand, she and Ron disappeared, with Ron waving and saying, "Goodbye Harry! Have a nice time!"
- - - -
"Can't you just PICK one?" snarled Bellatrix three hours later.
They were in the pet shop, where Ron had insisted upon inspecting every single pony in the store from top to bottom. Bellatrix, who never had much patience anyway, was ready to explode.
"Nope," replied Ron happily. "Every pony has to be Weasley-certified, grade-A before I can pick one. It's in the rulebook."
Bellatrix barely managed to keep steam from billowing out her ears.
"Hmmmmmm..." Ron had stopped at the next pony and was now analyzing it. "A light chestnut mare with two dark brown spots on his belly..." he made several notes on his notepad that he conveniently happened to have with him.
In the next two hours, Ron inspected every pony in the store, while Bellatrix amused herself by thinking about the different ways Lord Voldemort could possibly be torturing Harry Potter.
Finally Ron announced, "Okay, every pony is Weasley-certified and grade-A! Now I must pick one." Finally, thought Bellatrix.
"Hmmmmmmmm...I'll take...THAT one!" Ron cried, pointing to the chestnut mare. Bellatrix sighed with relief and paid the man up front, who had been eyeing them angrily for a while now. The salespeople cheered and applauded as Ron rode his pony out of the store, with Bellatrix following closely behind.
"Now what?" said Ron, beaming.
"What do you mean, NOW WHAT?" screamed Bellatrix. "I will take you back to the castle, and then I will go home! That's now what!"
"It's too late to get dinner up at the castle," said Ron, his lower lip trembling. "I...I was hoping you would take me to Hogsmeade for dinner."
Bellatrix glared at her watch. It was true, the time was nine o'clock, and it was far too late for Ron to get anything at Hogwarts."
"Oh, all right then," she snapped. "Let's go." She swept down the path, Ron right behind her on his pony, crying, "Highho, Silver! AWAY!"
- - - -
What will happen next to our brave friends?
What did Hermione and Dumbledore do on their first date?
What happened to Harry?
How much did Snape pay for Ginny's ring?
And WHAT WILL RON NAME HIS PONY???
Find out in Chapter Three of "What Really Happens", coming to a webpage
near you!
- - - - Lol, that's my humor for you. That didn't turn out as funny as I was hoping, but hey, to each his own (shrugs).
Please review! Yay for reviews!
CHAPTER 2
TO THE PET SHOP!
It was a strange sight to behold: Bellatrix Lestrange dragging a frozen Harry Potter across the Hogwarts grounds, with Ron skipping after her, singing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."
"AAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!" cried Bellatrix just as they left the grounds. "Would you PLEASE SHUT UP???"
Ron's lower lip trembled. "But I...I like that song Bellatrix!"
"Where did you get that bloody song anyway?" she snarled as she set up an unauthorized Portkey.
"Well...an American show called Barney! It's the most awesome show on Earth! There's another song I like on that show..." Ron threw his head back and began to sing again. "Barney is a dinosaur; he comes from 'magination..."
Bellatrix muttered something that sounded like, "...bloody Americans..." as she finished setting up the Port Key.
Ron stopped singing abruptly. "Hey, when am I gonna get my pony? I want my pony!" he demanded.
Bellatrix cursed under her breath. "We will get your pony as soon as we drop Harry Potter off with Lord Voldemort." She grinned evilly as she said this.
"Can't we get the pony NOW???" Ron whined.
"NO! First we must drop Harry Potter off with Voldemort! THEN we can get your pony! Now, grab onto this Portkey..."
Ron cluelessly grabbed the rock that had been set up as a Portkey. Bellatrix grabbed Harry and clutched the Portkey, and all three were whisked through the air to Lord Voldemort's hideout.
They landed in what appeared to be the library of an old house, its windows covered in vines of different lengths. Lord Voldemort was sitting in an armchair, reading "Taking Over the World for Dummies". He grinned and stood up when Bellatrix, Harry, and Ron arrived.
"Ah," he hissed evilly, "my old servant Bellatrix! Nice work."
"Thank you master," smirked Bellatrix, bowing. "I will leave you here to deal with Potter. Meanwhile, I have promised to take Mudblood Lover here to the pet shop for a horse."
Ron, who had been quietly singing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" the entire time, now glared at Bellatrix. "No!" he cried. "Don't try and cheat me! I said I wanted a PONY, not a HORSE!!!! GET ME A PONY!!!!!!" He began screaming hysterically and throwing a temper tantrum.
"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! A PONY! WE WILL GET YOU A PONY!" screamed Bellatrix, covering her ears.
"Oh, ok!" said Ron brightly, jumping up and grinning angelically.
Ron's fit seemed to have finally woken up Harry. He stirred, and blinked. "Where am I?" he yawned. Then his emerald eyes grew wide, and he sat up and screamed.
"HELP! THE DERANGED WEASELS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" screamed Harry.
Then he went back to normal. He looked up, and saw Lord Voldemort grinning evilly over him.
"LORD VOLDEMORT!!!" he screamed. "Ron, help me get out of here!"
"Sorry, Harry, but first Bellatrix is going to take me to the pet shop for a pony!" cried Ron happily. "Hey, maybe she'll get you one too! After the Dark Lord finishes with you, of course."
"That's right," laughed Bellatrix. "Come on, Mudblood Lover, to the pet shop!" And with a wave of her wand, she and Ron disappeared, with Ron waving and saying, "Goodbye Harry! Have a nice time!"
- - - -
"Can't you just PICK one?" snarled Bellatrix three hours later.
They were in the pet shop, where Ron had insisted upon inspecting every single pony in the store from top to bottom. Bellatrix, who never had much patience anyway, was ready to explode.
"Nope," replied Ron happily. "Every pony has to be Weasley-certified, grade-A before I can pick one. It's in the rulebook."
Bellatrix barely managed to keep steam from billowing out her ears.
"Hmmmmmm..." Ron had stopped at the next pony and was now analyzing it. "A light chestnut mare with two dark brown spots on his belly..." he made several notes on his notepad that he conveniently happened to have with him.
In the next two hours, Ron inspected every pony in the store, while Bellatrix amused herself by thinking about the different ways Lord Voldemort could possibly be torturing Harry Potter.
Finally Ron announced, "Okay, every pony is Weasley-certified and grade-A! Now I must pick one." Finally, thought Bellatrix.
"Hmmmmmmmm...I'll take...THAT one!" Ron cried, pointing to the chestnut mare. Bellatrix sighed with relief and paid the man up front, who had been eyeing them angrily for a while now. The salespeople cheered and applauded as Ron rode his pony out of the store, with Bellatrix following closely behind.
"Now what?" said Ron, beaming.
"What do you mean, NOW WHAT?" screamed Bellatrix. "I will take you back to the castle, and then I will go home! That's now what!"
"It's too late to get dinner up at the castle," said Ron, his lower lip trembling. "I...I was hoping you would take me to Hogsmeade for dinner."
Bellatrix glared at her watch. It was true, the time was nine o'clock, and it was far too late for Ron to get anything at Hogwarts."
"Oh, all right then," she snapped. "Let's go." She swept down the path, Ron right behind her on his pony, crying, "Highho, Silver! AWAY!"
- - - -
What will happen next to our brave friends?
What did Hermione and Dumbledore do on their first date?
What happened to Harry?
How much did Snape pay for Ginny's ring?
And WHAT WILL RON NAME HIS PONY???
Find out in Chapter Three of "What Really Happens", coming to a webpage
near you!
- - - - Lol, that's my humor for you. That didn't turn out as funny as I was hoping, but hey, to each his own (shrugs).
Please review! Yay for reviews!