A/N: I'm almost done Chapter 4 of "It's a Slytherin Life", but I couldn't
resist writing this chapter! I want to thank my sister for giving me the
main idea for this chapter—I never would have come up with it, I can tell
you that. I would also like to thank my friend prettypink for Harry's
speech...(wink wink).
Enjoy my craziness! Don't forget to check my main page for updates all through the summer, as I am officially out of school now! :)
- - - -
While Bellatrix and Ron were getting Ron's pony, some very interesting things were going on at Voldemort's hideout...
CHAPTER 3
CALL ME VICTOR
And with a wave of Bellatrix's wand, she and Ron disappeared, with Ron waving and saying, "Goodbye Harry! Have a nice time!"
"Goodbye! Goodbye!" called Voldemort, wiping tears from his eyes. He turned to Harry. "Boy, I sure am going to miss them!" Harry just stared.
Voldie checked himself. "Where were we?" He checked his script. "Ah, yes. I was just about to kill you and take over the universe. Ok, it's time to get back on track." He put his script away. "POTTER!" he screeched. "I shall kill you and take over the universe! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Any last words, Potter?" Voldie smirked, holding out his wand.
"Well, actually, yes. I would like to make a little speech before I go," replied Harry.
"Well, ok! I always liked speeches, so go ahead." Voldemort conjured an armchair out of thin air and sat down. Harry stood up and addressed him.
"Four score and seven years ago...oops, sorry, wrong speech...we will not let Iraq continue to bring us down...oh, I think the American President Bush slipped that in there, sorry...ah, here it is." Harry cleared his throat and began.
"I was born in a trashcan on 15th Street Avenue..."
For the next two hours, Voldemort was enthralled. He cheered, laughed, and cried at all the right places, and Harry was very pleased. He finally finished his speech with the closing line, "And I will make sure that evil mutant llamas never take over the world."
"Bravo! Bravo!" cried Voldemort, throwing roses. "The most brilliant speech I have ever heard!"
"Thanks!" said Harry, grinning. "Um, will you let me go free now?"
"Nope. Sorry," said Voldie, taking out his wand again. "This is my evil duty to the world!" He laughed evilly. Harry cringed, preparing for Avada Kedavra.
"Avada Kedav—"Voldemort stopped. Something was happening. He felt strange. He felt sick. He felt—NICE!!!
Harry kept waiting, his eyes squeezed shut. Why had Voldemort stopped? Wasn't he going to kill Harry? Harry finally dared to look up.
Voldemort was grinning from ear to ear. GRINNING! Harry was speechless. Voldie helped Harry to his feet, still grinning.
"Voldemort, what—"Harry began.
Voldie spoke in a voice that was unusually cheerful. "Please, Harry, call me Victor! Voldemort sounds so...sinister and evil!" Voldemort shuddered. Then he smiled again. "But never mind, my good friend Harry!"
Harry was shocked. "But—but—you wanted to kill me!" Harry stuttered.
"Nonsense, my dear boy!" cried Voldemort. "Of course, I was evil before. But then, just as I was about to kill you, I had a moment of revelation!" he exclaimed dramatically. "I wondered why I was so evil when I could be NICE, instead! So now my name is Victor, and I hope to make a new life for myself as...THE NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!"
Harry froze in shock, just as he had in the castle.
"Um...Harry?" called Voldemort. "Harry?" He made several futile attempts to wake Harry up, but Harry stayed frozen.
"Oh well." Voldie shrugged. "I'll come back later to see if he's better. Meanwhile, I'll go have dinner in Hogsmeade! Yay!"
And Voldemort—now Victor—skipped down the hill towards Hogsmeade, singing, "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes..."
- - - -
Yay! More zaniness! (Or maybe I've had too much sugar again) Anyway, next chapter you will find out what Hermione and Dumbledore did on their first date, but you might have to wait a while for that chapter. I am getting ready to post Chapter 4 of "It's a Slytherin Life" (yes! I hear my fans cheers) and then I'm working on a longer original fiction at this . I encourage you to go there; some of my best work is on there :)
Please review! Reviews make me so very happy!
P.S. From here on out, Voldemort will be referred to as Victor a lot of the time, so don't get confused ;)
Enjoy my craziness! Don't forget to check my main page for updates all through the summer, as I am officially out of school now! :)
- - - -
While Bellatrix and Ron were getting Ron's pony, some very interesting things were going on at Voldemort's hideout...
CHAPTER 3
CALL ME VICTOR
And with a wave of Bellatrix's wand, she and Ron disappeared, with Ron waving and saying, "Goodbye Harry! Have a nice time!"
"Goodbye! Goodbye!" called Voldemort, wiping tears from his eyes. He turned to Harry. "Boy, I sure am going to miss them!" Harry just stared.
Voldie checked himself. "Where were we?" He checked his script. "Ah, yes. I was just about to kill you and take over the universe. Ok, it's time to get back on track." He put his script away. "POTTER!" he screeched. "I shall kill you and take over the universe! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Any last words, Potter?" Voldie smirked, holding out his wand.
"Well, actually, yes. I would like to make a little speech before I go," replied Harry.
"Well, ok! I always liked speeches, so go ahead." Voldemort conjured an armchair out of thin air and sat down. Harry stood up and addressed him.
"Four score and seven years ago...oops, sorry, wrong speech...we will not let Iraq continue to bring us down...oh, I think the American President Bush slipped that in there, sorry...ah, here it is." Harry cleared his throat and began.
"I was born in a trashcan on 15th Street Avenue..."
For the next two hours, Voldemort was enthralled. He cheered, laughed, and cried at all the right places, and Harry was very pleased. He finally finished his speech with the closing line, "And I will make sure that evil mutant llamas never take over the world."
"Bravo! Bravo!" cried Voldemort, throwing roses. "The most brilliant speech I have ever heard!"
"Thanks!" said Harry, grinning. "Um, will you let me go free now?"
"Nope. Sorry," said Voldie, taking out his wand again. "This is my evil duty to the world!" He laughed evilly. Harry cringed, preparing for Avada Kedavra.
"Avada Kedav—"Voldemort stopped. Something was happening. He felt strange. He felt sick. He felt—NICE!!!
Harry kept waiting, his eyes squeezed shut. Why had Voldemort stopped? Wasn't he going to kill Harry? Harry finally dared to look up.
Voldemort was grinning from ear to ear. GRINNING! Harry was speechless. Voldie helped Harry to his feet, still grinning.
"Voldemort, what—"Harry began.
Voldie spoke in a voice that was unusually cheerful. "Please, Harry, call me Victor! Voldemort sounds so...sinister and evil!" Voldemort shuddered. Then he smiled again. "But never mind, my good friend Harry!"
Harry was shocked. "But—but—you wanted to kill me!" Harry stuttered.
"Nonsense, my dear boy!" cried Voldemort. "Of course, I was evil before. But then, just as I was about to kill you, I had a moment of revelation!" he exclaimed dramatically. "I wondered why I was so evil when I could be NICE, instead! So now my name is Victor, and I hope to make a new life for myself as...THE NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!"
Harry froze in shock, just as he had in the castle.
"Um...Harry?" called Voldemort. "Harry?" He made several futile attempts to wake Harry up, but Harry stayed frozen.
"Oh well." Voldie shrugged. "I'll come back later to see if he's better. Meanwhile, I'll go have dinner in Hogsmeade! Yay!"
And Voldemort—now Victor—skipped down the hill towards Hogsmeade, singing, "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes..."
- - - -
Yay! More zaniness! (Or maybe I've had too much sugar again) Anyway, next chapter you will find out what Hermione and Dumbledore did on their first date, but you might have to wait a while for that chapter. I am getting ready to post Chapter 4 of "It's a Slytherin Life" (yes! I hear my fans cheers) and then I'm working on a longer original fiction at this . I encourage you to go there; some of my best work is on there :)
Please review! Reviews make me so very happy!
P.S. From here on out, Voldemort will be referred to as Victor a lot of the time, so don't get confused ;)