A/N: Sorry this took so long to update everyone. I was really stuck for ideas for a while, but I finally had one, and I wrote up this chapter. Thanks for all the suggestions, they made me laugh. Hope this chapter makes you laugh, too!

While Voldemort was realizing his true nice self, what were Hermione and Dumbledore doing on their first date? Find out in...

CHAPTER FOUR

THE FIRST DATE

Hermione and Dumbledore skipped (A/N: Don't you just love to skip?) to the gates out of Hogwarts, where they stopped abruptly.

"So, Hermione," said Dumbledore, stroking his long white beard, "what would you like to do on our first date?" He was secretly hoping they could go to Hogsmeade and talk over intellectual subjects that made no sense to anybody else.

"Um, well..." A small glimmer of fun gleamed in Hermione's eye. "Well, I was thinking that we could...well, you know..."

Dumbledore's heart leaped. Did she actually mean what he thought she meant?

"Hermione?" said Dumbledore gently. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Hermione looked up into his deep blue eyes and knew that they both had the same idea. Laughing, they took each other's hands and skipped to the place both had dreamed about their whole lives.

"Isn't this wonderful?" Hermione sighed.

Hermione and Dumbledore were in Coupon World, where they had been clipping coupons for the past four hours. They could think of nothing more wonderful to do for their first date.

"I've dreamed of this place ever since I was a child," replied Dumbledore, putting aside a coupon for the Three Broomsticks. "What a wonderful way to spend our first date, Hermione!"

Hermione cut out four more coupons, and then checked her watch. "Oh my gosh, it's nine o' clock already!" she cried. "My, time flies when you're clipping coupons!"

"It certainly does," replied Dumbledore. "I'll take you out to dinner as a treat, Hermione."

"Thanks!" said Hermione, stuffing her purse with coupons. "Where should we go?"

"Well, I've clipped twenty coupons for the Three Broomsticks, so let's go there." Dumbledore stuffed his coupons in his beard, which was convenient for storing things, and they left Coupon World arm in arm.

"Dumbledore, I want to thank you," said Hermione quietly as they strolled down the dusky Hogsmeade road. "Whenever I hang out with Harry and Ron, I always have to be intellectual. They would be shocked if I didn't appear with a book under my nose. It would mentally disturb them. However, when I'm with you, I can have fun being...non-intellectual!"

"I feel the same way," said Dumbledore. "Why, I would never dream of clipping coupons with Minerva McGonagall, even though I've been secretly engaged to her for 37 years!"

"Professor McGonagall is rather stuffy," said Hermione. "But we won't let your engagement get in the way of our relationship, will we, Albie?"

"Certainly not," said Dumbledore proudly.

They walked in silence for a minute or two more, then Hermione said, rather hesitantly, "Albie, if you don't mind me asking, how come you never got married after being engaged for so long?"

"I have marriage phobia," said Dumbledore gloomily.

"But aren't you eventually going to marry me?" pleaded Hermione.

"Certainly I'll marry you, Hermione! Anyway, here's the Three Broomsticks." The wooden door to the pub opened, and Hermione and Dumbledore disappeared behind it.

UP NEXT TIME...

What happens when everyone meets in the Three Broomsticks? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER FIVE OF "WHAT REALLY HAPPENS"!!!!!

Some key words coming up:

Double wedding...deranged weasels...Gertie...Mr. Gibson...muffins

See ya next time!

Hehehe. Sorry if that chapter wasn't as funny as the last—it was really a transistion scene, and I'm not good at those :( But I have a REALLY good idea for the next few chapters, I PROMISE!!!!!

Time for review responses! Sorry I'm so late on these, you all are wonderful and deserve these.

Deep-Ware: Glad I made you laugh. Hope chapter 4 made you laugh too!

Kayla: This story makes me laugh when I write it. Enjoy the rest of the story!

Sandybrown: I actually laugh while I'm writing this. That "stupid funny screwy" remark really cracked me up. And as for getting chapters up faster...I'll see what I can do!

Loony: Sure! No problem! Hmmm, I'll have to make "with a Potter on top" my newest saying. Thanks!

DiggaDigga: Ya, I'm lazy with reviews too. So no worries! I loved writing the "Ginny is not too young" joke—it was my favorite part of writing the first chapter. Oh, and good catch on naming Ron's pony. I was really trying to imitate that old TV show where the cowboy goes, "Higho, Silver! Away!" Technically I have not named Ron's pony yet, but good catch. And I totally agree, brown sugar is AWESOME. But I must inform you that I wrote this chapter under the influence of a Triple Chocolate Killer from Applebee's. Rock on, chocolate! And thanks for the review.

Shini the Graver: Muhahahhahah. I am crazy too!!!!! Thanks for the review

Grindylow: Lol, that's the point of this story! It shows what really happens in Harry Potter's world that J. K. Rowling chooses not to write about! There'll be a reference to this at the very end of the story. And thank you =)

LOTRfreak85: Thanks! I certainly will keep it up, I have plenty more ideas for this story...evil laugh

TheHyperFreek: Thanks so much!!!! Weeeee!!!! "I was born in a trashcan..." And you know how much I love making fun of the President. Hehehe, don't even get me started on him.

PrettyPink: insert insane Coca Cola lady commercial lady theme song I wish I could share...all the love...in my heart... Thanks! Lol, how many ways the McDonald's theme song can be used

HP-obsessed: Thank you! Random is my middle name, didn't you know? Seriously, though, I agree with you—a Ginny/Snape ship is just scary and disturbing...that's the point I'm trying to make here. Enjoy the rest of the story!

MoonGirlGinny: Omg, I laughed SO HARD when I read your ideas! They weren't exactly what I had in mind, but they were HILARIOUS!!! Please, forgive me for not using them, they were so awesome. Enjoy the rest of the story! And don't forget: hyperness is good. P.S. I might use your idea about Snape and the ring, however...thanks for mentioning it =)

What you think: That's ok, my parodies are not for everyone. Have a nice life!

Smudged: Ooooh, good names. You might be a bit surprised at what I pick for Ron's pony's name. Thanks for the review!

Sorry to Burst your Bubble: Ah, I see. Well, if you prefer to read something more intellectual, my excellent fanfiction crossing Snape and "It's a Wonderful Life" might suit your high class lifestyle more. I shall not terminate my parody, however, for I feel that my assembled audience is unable to comprehend your opulent lifestyle. Please forgive me if my vocabulary is much too low-class for your taste. Sorry if this review response hurt your feelings. I really don't mind flames, but yours made me laugh and roll my eyes. If this isn't a parody, what is?

Samara Morgan-ring: Glad you liked it =) Stay tuned for upcoming chapters!

Sophie: I think the best part about this is that it's so totally out of character. Thanks so much for the review!!!

CocoaQT15: No problem! Of course I will keep updating, I love writing this story! Thanks for the review.

Nicole: Lol, thanks. More coming soon!

Remus Lupin's Lover: Thanks! I am so happy I have won your approval. And yes, more chapters are on the way!

Gypsyfreak: Hehehe, ya I like that part too. Thanks!

HOLLYWOODblvd: Um, I hope you didn't have a hernia...could I get sued for that? Lol, jk, glad I made your day. More chapters on the way!

Smed6bc: Thanks, I will. I'm gonna post the next chapter as soon as I can

Ok, I'm FINALLY done the review responses! Serves me right, putting them off like that. Oh well. See ya soon!