Author's notes: Okay people, I'm having repeated trouble with this so PAY ATTENTION: THE REVIEW SYSTEM IS NOT FOR REVIEWING MY RANTS, E-MAIL ME IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT, THOUGH IT WILL BE IGNORED.

We apologize for the error in the sub-titles; those responsible have just been sacked.

The other thing is that I prefer signed reviews although anonymous reviews are accepted... AND NO FLAMES!

We apologize again for the error in the sub-titles; those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have just been sacked.

Enigma of Despair: YAY, I have a muse now.

Random Soldier: Hey, didn't I say you couldn't use me as a muse?

Enigma of Despair: No.

Random soldier: Yes I did!

Enigma of Despair: NO YOU DIDN'T, I AM YOUR GOD!

Random Soldier: No you aren't.

Enigma of Despair: YES I AM! NOW BEHOLD MY POWER YOU FAILURE OF A MUSE! Blows up Random Soldier. (I apologize if there is a real random soldier here on , that was just something I came up with off the top of my head.)

We apologize yet again for the Error in the sub-titles; those responsible for sacking the people who sacked the people who have just been sacked have just been sacked. The sub-titles will now continue in an entirely different manor.

Mexican music plays

Disclaimer: I don't own twelve Mexican whooping lamas, 20 Austrian kadeveirs (closely related to lamas), Ralph the Wonderful Lama, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or Zoids.

Monty Python and the Zoid Eve

-Planet Zi 9342 AD-

(Sound of a Zoid approaching over a hill)

A man with black hair had clothing walks over a hill making motions like he's in a Zoid cockpit, followed closely by a black organoid holding a tape player.

They approach a castle and the man makes movements like he's stopping a Zoid and the organoid presses a button on the tape player in order to generate the correct sound.

A man leans over the edge of the castle, "Halt, who goes there?"

The man with black hair answers, "I am Raven, King of the Zians."

"Who's the other one?"

"I am, and this is my trusty organoid shadow."

"Where'd you get the coconuts?"

"What?"

"You're using coconuts."

"No we're not!"

"Yes you are, you've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together?"

"I'm sorry, is this an insane asylum?"

"Found them? In Marcia? The coconuts tropical."

"I think you're getting a little off subject here."

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

Raven then turns to shadow and says, "I wonder who got this guy out of the happy bin?"

Shadow then growls is agreement to Raven "grrrr, grrrr." (I agree, this guy is a nut job.)

Raven then turns back to the lunatic and says, "We are NOT using coconuts!"

"Carried, by what? A swallow?"

"Look, is there any..."

"It doesn't matter where it grips it, it's a simple matter of weight ratios. A 5 ounce swallow cannot carry a 1 pound coconut."

"Please..."

Another man just pops out of nowhere and decides to join in, "It could be carried by an African swallow."

Then the man behind the wall replies, "Oh an African swallow maybe but not a European swallow that's my point... but then again African swallows are non-migratory."

"Aren't you two on the wrong planet?" King Raven asked in hope to get a sensible answer.

"Perhaps two swallows carried it together?" Sid the other man who just came out of nowhere.

"How, tied between the dorsal guidance feathers?" replied man #1.

"Well why not?" said man #2 in his own defense.

Raven just shook his head and made movements like he was starting a zoid up.

A little ways along they came to some guys in a sword fight, just as they reached them the Black Zoid Warrior shoved his sword through the Green Zoid Warrior's head.

King Raven goes up to the knight and says, "You fight with the strength of many men good Zoid Warrior, I am searching out the strongest and bravest knights in the land for my court of Helic."

The black zoid warrior gives no response.

Raven then presses the topic further, "I would be honored if you would join me in my Court of Helic."

The black zoid warrior still gives no response.

Raven then solemnly said, "Very well, you make me sad," but as he tried to go by the black zoid warrior he finally gave a response...

"None shall pass."

"Good zoid warrior, I have no quarrel with you, but I must pass this bridge."

"Then, you shall die."

"Very well then," Raven then pulls out a sword no one noticed before.

Mysterious narrator voice: And so, the battle waged on, until raven finally realized it wasn't medieval times anymore and pulled out a minigun and blasted off the black zoid warriors limbs.

"Oh, cheat will you? Come here, I'll do you for that!"

"Oh what are you going to do, bleed on me?"

"I'm invincible! The Black Zoid Warriors always triumph!

"You're a looney."

"Oh, come here and say that to my face!"

Raven then sighs and blasts the zoid warrior's head off.

Mysterious Narrator Voice: And so king Raven and his organoid shadow travel on, until they reach a small village...

King Raven comes up behind some one and says, "Hey you, old woman..."

"Man."

"Man sorry..."

"I'm 37."

"What?"

"I'm 37, I'm not old."

"Well I can't just call you man."

"I'm Earl."

"I didn't know you were called Earl."

"Well you didn't bother to find out did you? Excuse me if I'm wrong but it sounds to me like you're treating me like an inferior.

"Well I am king you know."

"Oh king eh? And how'd..."

"SHUT UP!" Raven suddenly yelled at the peasant while blowing his head off with the mini-gun.

Mysterious Narrator Voice: And so they traveled on, battling fierce groups of enraged peasants, until they came to the plagued Village...

A man was walking down the street shooting a gun into the air and saying, "Bring out your dead!"

"I've got one," said Bit cloud as he dragged a cart with the Liger 0 on it.

(I'm not dead!)

"Yes you are."

(I don't want to go on the cart)

"Oh, don't be such a baby"

This is when the dead cart man said, "there, he says he's not dead."

(I feel happy!)

"Look, you're not fooling anyone. Just do us all a favor."

(I think I'll go for a walk.)

"Isn't there something you could do?"

The man looked around and shot the Liger 0 in the head with his AK-47.

Just then King Raven walked by, "Who's that," asked Bit.

"I don't know, must be a king."

"Why?"

"He hasn't got shit all over him."

"Huh, well... see you Thursday."

"Right... Bring out your dead!"

Mysterious Narrator Voice: Well, that's it for this chapter, but more is on the way. Anyways, in the next chapter, we have the witch village, the book of the film, and the French castle. (Gets shot by Enigma of Despair for telling too much.)

Enigma of Despair: well, guess that I'll have my pet gorilla replace my narrator. R&R, NO FLAMES!!!!