Jenin

by Nadahnefu

Luke teaches a young herb-crafter how to heal. An excerpt from one of my "Croyus Chronicles" AU stories.

2. Jenin Excerpt from Face in the Shadows

"We're being followed," Luke said, "by a wizard-born. Maybe another one of your Sniffers."

Elaan paused for a moment, studying the presence to which Luke had drawn her attention. "I do not think so," she said. "It is Jenin."

"Jenin?"

"The boy I told you about. The herb-crafter."

"What do you think he wants?"

"I have no notion."

Luke grinned at her. "Let's find out, shall we? Stay here. Talk as if I'm still with you, behind that tree."

Luke approached the boy silently. Jenin was watching Elaan through the bushes as Elaan talked to thin air behind a tree. There was a hesitancy about him, but just what caused that hesitancy, Luke couldn't say. Perhaps it was the boy's nature, or perhaps it was a conflict between the boy's physical sense and Force-sense, knowing that there should be two presences ahead of him and sensing only one. Then, perhaps realizing that Luke was behind him instead of in front of him, the boy started to turn, and Luke made his move. When Elaan heard the boy's cry of surprise and pain, she stopped talking to herself and looked towards the sound.

"Look what I found," Luke said, hauling the boy in front of him as he entered the clearing. "The woods are full of small game tonight." He gave the boy's arm a small twist, forcing the boy to drop to his knees. Luke patted the boy down quickly and came up with only one weapon, a knife in a sheath at the boy's belt. Luke took the knife, noting its sharpness, and tucked it carefully into his own belt before turning the boy loose. "Now," he said, "why were you following us?"

The boy clasped his hands and looked at his hands instead of at Luke and Elaan. "If you please, sir," said the boy, still on his knees, "I mean you no harm."

"Oh? You just meant to rob us?"

"If you please, sir," said the boy, "it is you and your companions who do the robbing."

Luke raised his eyebrows in surprise and looked at Elaan. "The boy's got sharp eyes," he said.

"Or trained eyes," Elaan corrected. "He is a thief, himself. I have seen his friends at work."

"No, milady," Jenin said. "I have nothing to do with that. And they are not my friends, only my traveling companions. I am wizard-born, and in these times, I find I must abide them and their ways. So long as they leave myself alone, I care not how they manage their own business.

"Safety in numbers, eh?" Luke said. "What is it you want, boy? A cut of the action? Or a bounty for turning us in?"

"If you please, sir," the boy said, still looking at his clasped hands, "I have seen the sort from whom you rob, and I care very little what your business with them is. I am here on my own business, a private matter, of a healer's nature."

"What is it you want?" Elaan asked in surprise. "I have no herbs with me, and no more flesh-worms."

"No, milady, my business is not with you." Jenin said, lifting his eyes to her. Then he looked at Luke. "But with you, milord."

"With me?" Luke said, taken aback. "What could you possibly want with me?"

"If you please, milord," Jenin said, looking back down at his hands, "you are a Master Wizard. I have come to ask to beg you to take me as an apprentice."

"What?" Luke said in disbelief. "You don't even know me. Why would you want to apprentice yourself to me? Go back to your tent, Jenin. You don't know what you're about."

"If you please, milord," Jenin said, catching Luke's cloak and holding onto it, "I saw you heal her! I know the herb-craft." The boy inclined his head toward Elaan. "She can tell you that. But I also have the healer's gift! I have searched everywhere for one of your abilities."

"Luke," said Elaan suddenly, "the woods are no place for such discussion."

"I agree," Luke replied, hearing the same drunken voices in the distance that Elaan had heard. "Let's go back to the inn." He turned to Jenin. "You, on your feet. No talking. You know the way?"

"Yes, m "

"No talking," Luke reminded, hiding a smile. "Do you know the way?"

Jenin nodded, and pointed down the path.

"Good. Then move."

Once inside the relative safety of the room at the inn, Luke warned Jenin to keep his voice low, and directed him to sit at the table. Jenin sat, glancing first at the leftover food sitting on the table, and then carefully avoided looking at it again by locking his eyes onto Luke.

"Let's talk," Luke said.

But Elaan put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "I must insist that you let the boy eat first, before you start interrogating him. Can you not see he is near to starved?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Sure." He waved an arm at the table. "Help yourself."

"If you please, milord, I would not be a burden..."

Luke sighed, picked up a plate, sliced off two pieces of bread and a generous portion of meat to make a sandwich, picked a piece of fruit from the basket, and shoved the full plate in front of the boy. "Eat," he ordered.

"As you wish, milord," Jenin said, and fell to eating as quickly as he could. When he was done, the piece of fruit still remained on the plate. Jenin was about to put it back in the basket, but Luke told him to put it in his pocket, and tossed him another piece to keep the first one company.

"Now," said Luke, "what makes you think you have the gift for healing?" he asked.

"If you please, milord," said Jenin quietly, not looking at Luke but at his own hands folded on the table, "my father was a healer, so I knew I would be, too."

"Not necessarily. But why didn't your father just pass his knowledge on to you?"

"He...is gone now. I learned the herb-craft, but not the wizard's art. If my father had taught me, I would not have had the need to seek you out. But milord, I also know that I have the gift, because I see the colors."

"Colors?" Luke frowned, then realized what the translation was and his eyebrows lifted. "You mean auras?"

"I do not know that term, milord. But I can see what is wrong with a person by the colors surrounding him."

Elaan turned to Luke. "Such an ability is rare on my world." She looked at Jenin. "I have only heard of one Wizard-born who could do such a thing."

"'On your world,' milady?" Jenin asked, frowning.

"Never mind," Luke said to him. To Elaan, he said, "Believe me, it's rare where I come from, too." He turned back to Jenin. "The ability to see colors auras is an indication, but it's not conclusive."

"Not only that, milord. I can also heal, but a little. Look!" He shook his sleeves loose to reveal numerous scars on both his arms, and held them up for Luke to see.

Luke grasped one of the boy's fists and studied the marks grimly. There were too many of them for the mutilation to have been any accident. "How did you get those?" he asked. "Did someone do that to you?"

"I did it to myself, milord," Jenin said. "To practice. As I said, I can heal a little. But I need a teacher to do more."

Luke took another look at the scarred arm and studied the history he saw there. "Let me guess," he said. "You get the cut to heal a tiny bit, maybe just enough to stop the bleeding, and then you're too exhausted to go on."

"Yes," Jenin said in surprise. "How did you know?"

Luke sat back, astounded. He had not expected anything like what the boy had just presented to him, the ability to see auras, and to heal, even a little, without any training.

The boy fell out of his chair to his knees and grasped Luke's cloak. "I will pay you everything I have, I will bond myself to you, wear your mark, if you but show me how you healed her so quickly. I can make you a rich man. Please, Master Wizard! I beg you!"

Luke pulled the hands off his cloak. "Sit down, Jenin, and stop that nonsense." As Jenin returned to his chair, Luke rose from his, and paced. The young herb-crafter's hopeful, fearful eyes followed his every step. Finally, Luke stopped and turned to him. "Why were you trailing us and watching us like some animal? Why didn't you just come straight up to me?"

"If you p " the boy's voice caught, and he had to start again. "If you please, milord, you wear a bonder's ring."

Luke looked down at his hand in surprise. He'd forgotten he had it on.

The boy went on nervously. "I have been...marless all my life. I had thought...I would starve before I wore a bonder's mark. And then...I saw you heal her. Please, Master Wizard, I meant you no harm."

Luke studied Jenin. "You'd give up your freedom to become my apprentice? Do you have any idea what I would be like as a master?"

Jenin was close to tears. "You healed her, milord. My craftings...are nothing in comparison. Because I travel, I have no garden. Hence, my remedies are limited to the herbs my customers bring me. I have the knowledge for other cures, but not the means. As your servant, I could craft many medicines. But of course you do not need them." Jenin looked away. "Forgive me, milord, I do not mean to talk so much."

"Jenin," Luke said, shaking his head, "you wouldn't fit in where I come from."

"Milord, I would! I could earn my own keep, with my craftings! If you care to let me continue with them, I mean. But I can do other things, as well. I am an excellent cook, milord."

"I'm sure you are," Luke replied, then fell silent, considering the situation. The boy had a gift, of that there was no question. The only question was whether could give the boy the basics of Force-healing in such a short amount of time.

After a few minutes Jenin asked quietly, "Will you bond me now, Master Wizard?"

"I don't intend to bond you at all, Jenin," Luke replied. "I'll be leaving here soon, and I've no intention of taking you with me."

Jenin's mouth started to open in protest, but Luke went on. "I'm going to ask you something, and I need your honest answer. Have you ever bonded with another Wizard before?"

Jenin frowned. "But you just said "

Luke waved his hand in front of his face. "Bad choice of words. Mind-linked. Made a telepathic connection. It's faster than words, and is how this sort of thing is usually done. Have you ever joined two minds as one?"

Jenin hesitated in answering.

"Yes or no, Jenin?" Luke asked.

"Yes," Jenin said quietly. "Once before."

Luke studied Jenin, noting the hesitancy and the quietness of the answer. Luke didn't like that hesitancy. Apparently, the mind-link had not been a positive experience for the boy. Luke sat back down at the table across from Jenin. "All right," he said, "I might be able to show you something after all, even without a mind-link. But I can spare you no more than a couple of hours tonight."

Jenin's face lit up.

"Then again," Luke went on, "I might not be able to teach you anything at all. You have to accept that. And whatever I can give you, if anything, will just be the rudiments. You'd be on your own for practicing and refining. But there's a price for my teaching you even that much."

"Anything," Jenin replied.

"Don't answer so quickly. You don't know my price yet."

"Name it!"

Luke nodded. "First, you must never bond yourself to anyone. Wear someone else's mark, I mean. You're marless, and it's my desire that you stay that way."

"A strange price, coming from a bonder," said Jenin. "But it is a promise I give most readily. I would not have offered even to you, save that I saw you heal her."

"Well, that's good," Luke replied. "But I mean not even if it's to a 'Master Wizard.' I don't care what he knows, or what you think he knows. Whatever he's got, it's not worth the price of your freedom."

"Your price is a bargain," Jenin said.

"Not really," Luke replied. "You haven't heard the rest of it. Second, you will take no bondservant of your own. Ever."

Jenin was silent for a minute. Luke thought perhaps he had misjudged the boy, but then Jenin asked, "What of an apprentice? May I pass this knowledge on to another with the gift?"

Luke smiled at the boy's question. "If you find someone else with the gift, and he wants to learn, you may teach him as long as he agrees to the same conditions I'm giving you. And anyone he teaches must agree to the same conditions, and so on. No bonder's mark, and no indentureship. Your apprentice must be free to leave whenever he likes."

"Then continue," Jenin said. "I have no desire for a bondservant, though I have thought that if ever I could heal as you have done, I might take an apprentice if I find one with the gift. What are your other conditions?"

"Third," said Luke, "you must never betray another Wizard-born to the Sniffers or whoever. Or any non-Wizard-born by saying that he or she is a Wizard-born."

Jenin spoke up so quickly that Luke was certain he was speaking the truth. "In my travels, milord, I have learned of certain people who have died without relatives. Should I be taken by the Sniffers and pressed, it is their names I have planned to give. If you please, milord, it is my nature to heal, not betray. I would not have done anyway."

Luke nodded, well aware of what 'pressed' meant. "You've a good head on your shoulders, Jenin. My last requirement is that whatever I have to show you, whatever you learn from me, is not just for the ones who can afford it. You must use this without regard to who can pay you, and who cannot. From the poorest bondservant to the richest bonder. You may exact a fee from those who can afford it, but no more than they can afford, and no fee from the ones who cannot."

Jenin smiled. "Master Wizard, have you seen the prices for my herbs? I am like as not to give them away. It is a...point of contention between myself and my traveling companions. They tolerate me because I draw an audience. I cannot keep them from picking pockets, but only those pockets that are full have anything to pick. Sometimes my customers come with money enough to pay me for my herbs, yet by the time they see me, they have none. In cases such as those, sir, I ask only that my patients remember with kindness that it was a Wizard-born who helped them when they could not afford it."

"Good lad. Now let's begin with the basics, shall we? You have to know who you can heal, and who you can't. And when to quit. The energy you put into healing comes from you, your own body. If you overextend yourself, you'll end up with two victims rather than one. If you kill yourself doing it, you won't be able to help the next patient, or the one after that, or pass the knowledge on to someone else. Understand?"

Jennin nodded.

"All right, let's see what you can do." Luke pulled out Jenin's knife from his belt. Jenin shook a sleeve away to bare one of his arms and propped his arm on the table. Luke grimaced at seeing the scars, and, not wanting to add to the mutilation, bared his own arm not the one containing the bionics and made to press the tip into his own flesh.

"Careful," Jenin warned. "It is very sharp."

Luke smiled, and pressed. A thin red trickle appeared on his arm. Even if left untreated, the wound was not deep enough to affect the use of his arm, only deep enough to make it bleed for a short while. "Heal that," he said, tucking the knife back into his belt.

Jenin bit his lip. "I have never tried on another, only on myself."

"I need to know what you can do, Jenin." Luke said. "Think of the cut as an extension of yourself."

Jenin took a deep breath and then laid a hand on Luke's arm, just over the wound. He closed his eyes to concentrate. Luke closed his eyes, too, to focus on feeling the energy he hoped would come. After a moment, Luke felt warmth building over the wound. He let the energy build for a moment, to gauge the extent of the boy's powers, then resisted to see what Jenin would do. When the warmth became heat, Luke pulled his arm away. He was not surprised to see that Jenin was out of breath.

Luke shook his head in wonder. "You've got the gift, all right. You're amazingly powerful, Jenin."

Jenin brightened.

"But you have no idea how to apply it." Luke added. "If nothing else, maybe I can at least keep you from killing yourself in those experiments of yours."

Jenin's face broke into a grin. "Yes! Anything! Anything you can show me!"

"The first thing," Luke said, "like I said before, is knowing who you can and can't heal, and knowing when to stop. A patient may be too far gone for you to heal, or may not even want to be healed. When I resisted, you should have stopped, but you didn't. Force I mean, Wizard-healing is a dangerous thing. If you aren't careful about knowing when to use it, you could kill yourself. And then you won't be able to do anyone any good! Understand?"

Jenin nodded.

"The second thing," Luke went on, "is that you're losing too much energy. You're wasting it."

"Too much?" Jenin frowned. "I thought it was too little."

Luke smiled. "You couldn't heal right away, so you thought more was better, right? It doesn't work that way. You've got to be patient. Use less, and recycle as much of the energy as you can."

"'Recycle'?" Jenin frowned at the unfamiliar word.

"Uh, re-use. Look, put one hand here," Luke placed one of Jenin's hands on one side of the cut on his arm, "and the other here." He put Jenin's other hand on the other side of the cut. "You send the energy through this hand, you collect it through this one, and you send it back through again. In pulses. With the pulse. My body rhythm, not yours. You have to be able to find the body-rhythm before you can do anything else. Can you feel it?"

"I am not over the blood-line," Jenin said.

Luke had to think for a second to translate 'blood-line' to artery. "You don't need to be. It's not the physical sense I'm talking about, but the same sense you use to see the colors. Can you feel it? Try again."

Jenin concentrated for a few minutes, but to no avail. "I do not...know," he said.

"Find the rhythm. Don't send any energy through yet."

Luke waited patiently, but Jenin looked up a few minutes later with confusion still written on his face. "My apologies, Master Wizard. I do not understand."

"No," Luke said. "It's not an easy concept. I could maybe show you in a mind-link. But without the time to prepare you properly, you might not find that kind of intimacy...very comfortable. Especially if you've only done it once before. I wouldn't even offer if you'd never done it before."

"May I...try it again?"

"Go ahead," Luke said. He closed his eyes and concentrated on enhancing his rhythm, making it louder, to see if Jenin could find it.

The young healer tried again, without success. He continued trying until it was obvious he wasn't going to get it.

"Do you want to try the mind-link?" Luke asked.

Jenin nodded, but there was the slightest hesitation before he nodded.

"You have to be sure, Jenin."

Jenin folded his hands, and looked at them. Then he said quietly, "I would rather...be uncomfortable for a short while than waste an instant more of the time we have together." He raised his eyes to look at Luke.

"You'd have to trust me."

"I...trust you."

Luke drew in a breath and let it out again. The boy's hesitancy contradicted his words, but Jenin was hungry to learn. "All right," Luke said. "We'll give it a try." He maneuvered his chair so that he was directly in front of the boy, without the table between them.

"What must I do?" the boy asked, a little nervously.

"The same as you did the first time you mind-linked. Just relax. It might help if you give me your hands."

Jenin surrendered his hands. Luke took them, enclosing the small, cold, trembling fingers inside his large warm ones. "It's okay," he murmured reassuringly. "It's nothing to be afraid of."

"I am ready," Jenin said, though Luke wasn't altogether certain that he was.

Luke sent a questing tendril of thought to touch the most surface layers of Jenin's consciousness, to the area right before thought became speech. Jenin?

Master Wizard!

It's just Luke.

Luke. Master Wizard. Show me...the healing.

I can't, just yet. I have to go deeper.

Deeper? No...

Luke took a breath and pulled out, releasing Jenin's hands. "Sorry, Jenin. It's not as easy as it sounds. Not even the second time."

"Please!" Jenin said, grasping Luke's hands. "Do not give up on me! I am sorry. I will try to do better."

"It's not...a matter of doing better. It's trust. You have to trust me, and without the time to develop that "

"I trust you," Jenin said. "Please! Try again! I want to learn. To learn to heal for that I would do anything. Please, Master Wizard Luke!"

Luke relented. "All right, we'll try again." He took another breath and waited until Jenin had done the same and closed his eyes. Jenin?

Yes! Please!

I have to go deeper.

Teach me!

Luke started to push through to the next deeper layer, towards where he needed to be to show Jenin how to heal.

No! Jenin's mental voice cried involuntarily.

Luke pulled out again, before Jenin's subconscious voice could become more than the birth of a thought. "I'm sorry, Jenin. It's not working. If we had more time..."

"Once more," Jenin begged. "Please try once more."

Luke shook his head. He'd gotten slightly further the second time, enough to know that the boy was desperate to learn to heal. And also enough to know that Jenin had some terrible and closely guarded secret, so central to the boy's being that it blocked the sub-speech layer and was so close to the surface layer that Luke almost heard it in mental words. If he pushed, he would get through, but it would cost Jenin the secret. That was why trust was so important, and why Luke had asked if Jenin had ever linked before. Instinct and reflex had to be overcome for the link to succeed. It usually took months of preparation before a student was ready for this kind of contact, months of talking about what it would be like, months of planning and preparing, months of getting all the dark little secrets out into the open before the first actual link was established.

And the time Luke had known Jenin was measured in minutes.

"Once more!" Jenin said again. "Just once more!"

Luke stood up and patted the boy's shoulder. "Wait here a minute," he said. Then he said, "Elaan, could I see you outside?"

When they were outside the room in the hallway with the door shut, Elaan asked, "What is it?"

"I need a second opinion," Luke said. "I'm getting mixed signals from Jenin. There's a lot of resistance. Ordinarily, I'd back off, we'd talk about it, vocalize all the issues before going sub-vocal, and try again. Ordinarily, I'd have a lot more time to prepare a novice for a mind-link, but in this case I don't have the luxury of time. That's why I asked him if he had mind-linked before."

Elaan frowned. She had read no deception from the boy on Luke's questions. "Do you think he lied about having experienced one, to get you to teach him?"

"No," Luke said. "That's the other thing. I think he was telling the truth about mind-linking before, but whoever bonded with him hurt him in some way. A mind-link is a very intimate thing. The experience should be something to cherish, but in Jenin's case, he'd rather forget it. If I push through, I may be able to undo some of the damage. On the other hand, I may make it worse."

"Is there a test to know which?"

"That's where I need your help. I'm going to ask Jenin some questions, and he wants to learn so badly that he may lie about the answers. You're a Shield, and you may be able to see past some of the things that I can't. Plus, you've got a good sense of physical reactions. I want to check my sense of whether he's telling the truth with yours. I want you to stand behind him, and when I look at you, nod your head if you think he's telling the truth, and shake it if you think he's lying."

"All right," Elaan said.

Luke started to return to the room, but Elaan held him back. "Luke, I think there is something you should know."

"What is it?"

"Do you remember I spoke of one other Wizard who could see the colors?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"That Wizard was from the Kastral region. It was said he was the greatest healer of all time—that he could heal with a thought. By this boy's accent, he is from the same region. There may possibly be a connection."

"Tell me what you know about this...Wizard from Kastral."

"When Aren was just a babe, there were stories of a healer who could wrought miracles. It was said that he cured an entire village in Kastral of plague. It was said that all he asked in return was to be allowed to settle there with his new wife. But by then the king was dead, and the Viceroy ruled that all Wizard-born were witches, and should be killed immediately."

"The village turned against him?"

"Yes. Somehow they had become convinced that they had paid for the cure with their souls, and the only way to regain them was to kill the Wizard and his family, for by then his wife was with child, or had just given birth. The stories give different accounts. But in those days, as now, the usual method of being rid of a witch was through fire. Thinking the whole family to be at home, the villagers set fire to the Wizard's house. But the Wizard himself was gone, to heal someone outside of the village, and returned to find his home in flames. Upon seeing him, the villagers fled, and the Wizard rushed inside to save his wife and child. Some stories say that he perished in the fire with his family. Others say that he saved the wife but not the child, others that he saved the child but not the wife, and others still that he was unable to save either, but that he himself escaped. There are some who say, even, that the tale was invented, as a warning to other Wizard-born to stay in hiding. I cannot tell you which version is the truth."

"All right," Luke said. "There may be something in that, or not. Thanks for the heads-up."

Luke opened the door and held it for her as they returned to the room. Then Luke took his place by Jenin again. Elaan moved around the table to position herself behind Jenin. Jenin glanced at her, but Luke sat directly in front of the boy in such a way that it commanded Jenin's full attention.

"Okay, Jenin," said Luke, "I've got a few questions for you before I figure out what to do next. You're sure you've mind-linked before?"

"Yes, milord" Jenin said. Behind him, Elaan nodded.

"You can cut the 'milord' bit. You're from Kastral, aren't you?"

"Ye-yes, milord. I mean, Master Wizard."

"You ever hear of a Wizard from that region who could heal?

Jenin bit his lip, then let it go. Finally he said, "The Wizard of Kastral was my father."

Behind him, Elaan started in surprise, then nodded.

"Did you know him, Master Wizard?" Jenin asked.

"No," Luke said. "But Elaan told me the story. Were you the child in the fire, then?"

Jenin hesitated before answering. "I was, Master Wizard."

"Did everyone in your family escape?"

"Not my mother, milord. But my father and I survived. If you please, Master Wizard, I was just a babe then and remember nothing, only having this all my life." He fingered the ugly scar that started on the side of his face and ran down his neck.

Luke looked up, and Elaan nodded. Everything Jenin had said so far was true.

"Have you ever...sought revenge against the ones who hurt you?" Luke asked.

"No, Master Wizard. To what purpose?" Another nod from Elaan.

"Have you ever betrayed another Wizard-born?"

Jenin hesitated. Behind him, Elaan frowned. Then Jenin asked, "Do you mean, to the Sniffers?"

"Yes," Luke said, wondering in what other way one could possibly betray another Wizard-born.

"No, m Master Wizard, I have not. I would never do that!" Behind him, Elaan nodded agreement.

"Have you ever...misused your Wizard-gifts?"

Jenin made a sound that wasn't quite a laugh. "Milord Master Wizard, I see the colors. Of what use is that, save to heal?"

Behind him, Elaan shrugged, then nodded.

"Your herb craft, then," Luke said. "Have you ever misused it?"

Jenin hesitated. "I misuse in what manner, Master Wizard?"

Luke raised his eyebrows at the boy's evasion. "In any manner."

For a second, Jenin seemed uncomfortable. Then he looked at Luke and said, "My medicines are for healing, Master Wizard. I have never crafted a medicine for any other purpose, never to hurt or harm. Thrice, however, I did give medicine that was not meant for healing, but to end suffering. These I gave to patients who were already dying, to ease their passing. I told them what it was for, Master Wizard. I did not put it in their mouths."

Elaan nodded.

So the boy had provided a merciful ending for a few tortured patients who weren't going to live anyway. Luke wasn't prepared to condemn him for that. But he wondered what Jenin could possibly have done if the young healer had never misused either his Force-talent or his craft, because Luke was certain there was something the boy was not telling. "Have you ever done anything else that would give me reason not to teach you?"

Jenin hesitated again. "No, Master Wizard."

Luke looked at Elaan, who answered him with a nod. Luke frowned. There had to be something, a reason for the hesitations, the reluctance, the resistance. "Jenin, is there any reason any reason at all why I might not want to teach you?"

"No, Master Wizard."

Luke felt it then, a slight tremor in the Force, an uncomfortableness from someone who didn't like lying but felt forced into it. Luke checked his reading with Elaan, who shook her head, not confirming Jenin's answer of 'no,' but confirming that the boy's answer was a lie.

"Last question, Jenin," Luke said. "How badly do you want to learn to heal?"

"Very much, Master Wizard."

"How much...would you be willing to endure in order to learn?"

"To learn to heal, Master Wizard, I would endure anything."

Elaan nodded.

"All right, Jenin," Luke said. "Sit tight for a few more minutes." He lifted his eyes. "Elaan?" He tilted his head towards the door.

Out in the hallway, with the door shut between them and Jenin, Luke asked, "What do you think?"

"I think it odd that he believes there is a reason you might not wish to teach him even though he has done nothing to warrant it."

"I think it's odd, too. I don't know, Elaan. If I press, I might do more harm than good. With the amount of resistance he's giving me, and without the time to prepare him, I'd hurt him for sure. I wish I knew what the best course was, whether it's worth it to push through."

"Did not the boy himself answer that question when he said the he would endure anything?"

"Yeah," Luke said with a wry smile. "Anything except the sacrifice of his secret. Whatever his secret is, I think it's what caused his distaste for mind-linking. All right. I'll give it one more try, see if he'll open up without my pushing too hard. If it doesn't work I dunno. Maybe I will take him as an apprentice, after all. I don't normally like cleaning up someone else's mess, but the idea of leaving him with such a distaste for mind-linking doesn't exactly appeal to me, either. I want you present, Elaan, but not too close. I want him to have the security of having someone like you nearby. Give me room to work, but stay near enough that you can step in if things get a little too rough. He's still a kid, and every kid needs "

"A mother," Elaan said, smiling. "I understand."

Luke smiled confirmation, and they returned to the room. Elaan took a post in the far corner while Luke took his chair by Jenin again.

"We'll try it one more time, Jenin. I just don't want you to regret it."

"If you teach me," Jenin said firmly, "I will not regret it."

"All right," Luke said. "Let's give it one more try." In the back of Luke's mind, he heard another voice from another time: Do. Or do not. There is no 'try'. Sometimes, Luke replied to the teacher in his thoughts, there was only 'try.'

He created the tentative link again. Jenin?

The boy's thoughts, even at the most surface level, were a jumble of confusion. Please! No, I cannot I must! Never have this chance again! Master Wizard, please do not abandon me! Afraid! He will not teach me if he finds out! No! Stop thinking! If I think, he will learn who I am. Stop! I am Jenin, just Jenin. I am a healer. Concentrate on that! Master Wizard, please do not leave me! It is hopeless. He will not teach me...

Luke waited. After a moment, the boy's thoughts quieted into a single mantra. Do not think! Jenin told himself, over and over again. Do not think, or he will learn it. Do not think, or he will abandon me. Do not think. Do not think!

Jenin? Luke said into the link.

Do not think! Yes? Do not think! Please! Teach me! I hunger to learn! Do not think!

Relax, Jenin. We're just going to hang out here for a little while.

Do not think! Do not think! Hang...out? Do not think! What is...hang...out?

We're just going to wait here until you're ready to go on.

I am ready! Do not think!

No, Luke chided gently. Not yet.

You will abandon me!

No...

Luke waited. Jenin's thoughts turned back to the mantra. Do not think! He will abandon me if he knows. Do not think! Do not think!

Jenin?

Do not abandon me!

I won't abandon you. It's okay to think.

Teach me!

Not yet. We're hanging out, remember? You can let go. I won't abandon you.

Hanging...out. Yes. No! You will leave soon! There is not enough time!

There's enough. You're extraordinary, Jenin. I've never encountered anyone with your gift before. The Force is strong in you. I've changed my mind about not taking you as an apprentice. I could take you with me, teach you to use your gift. The right way, not like this. Prepare you.

Take...me with you?

Into the sub-vocal link, Luke projected an image of the Millennium Falcon and Medea Two. Images of Croyus Four, of Tatooine, of Coruscant, of Dagobah followed in quick succession.

You come from the stars! Jenin thought in wonder.

Yes...

You are a god!

Luke's mental laughter carried into the link. Hardly. Your people came from the stars, too. A long time ago.

Wonder continued to fill Jenin momentarily, but it was followed almost immediately by fear. To be abandoned among the stars...I would not survive...

I would not abandon you.

Yes. You who owe me nothing, to whom I am nothing...

You're not nothing to me, Jenin. You've got so much potential.

I am afraid. You would abandon me. I would not survive.

I won't abandon you. I promise.

Yes, you would. If you learned my secret.

There was a sense of shock, then, followed by a wave of fear at having let so much show, fear of knowing that Luke knew he had a secret. The secret was so close to the surface, so essential to the core of what Jenin was, that Luke could almost see it. But Jenin's fear screamed out loudly.

Luke had to pull out. If he stayed in the link any longer, it would be the equivalent of mind-rape.

He started to withdraw. "I'm sorry, son," he said aloud. "It's not working. I can either "

It was the word 'son' that triggered the breach, a tear in the delicate fabric so wide that Luke couldn't help but see what was on the other side. Suddenly Luke knew Jenin's secret, and it was so simple, so utterly simple, that Luke wondered at his own inability to have seen it earlier, even without the Force.

No! Jenin screamed into the link. Luke broke the rest of the contact immediately. The scream was so strong that it moved from the sub-vocal layer to the vocal one, and Jenin finished the scream aloud, "Noooo!"

Elaan stepped in immediately. "Shhh," she whispered, putting her hands on Jenin's shoulders. "The worst is past. There is nothing more to fear."

Jenin's scream was now replaced by muffled sobs, but the young healer pulled away from Elaan and let his head fall on top of arms on the table. The small, fragile body shook with each sharp inhalation and noisy exhalation. Elaan was about to try again to comfort Jenin, but Luke shook his head. This was something he could handle himself. The secret was...funny, actually, so meaningless, but it meant so much to Jenin.

Luke moved to put his hands on the young healer's shoulders. Jenin stood up and moved away, but not before Luke saw the tears spilling out of Jenin's eyes. Luke followed, and grasped Jenin's shoulders gently but firmly, and bent his head to whisper in Jenin's ear. "It's all right. We all have secrets. There's nothing so awful about that one."

"But...now...you know."

"So now I know. I had to know eventually, if I was ever going to teach you. What's so terrible about being who you are? Believe me, I've known a lot worse secrets. I've even got a few of my own. If we're going to have a worst secret contest, I'd win hands down."

Jenin pulled away from Luke again and moved towards the door. "My...apologies, Master Wizard. I should not have wasted your time."

"It's not a waste," Luke said in a louder voice. "Not if you still want to learn."

Hand on the door, Jenin turned back. "You would still teach me?"

Luke was unable to suppress a smile. "Unless you've got some other secret that's really awful. There's nothing Dark about that one."

"It does not matter to you?" Jenin's eyes were wide in wonder. "It does not matter that I am---that I am what I am?"

Luke shook his head. "It only matters that it matters to you. The real question is, do you still want to learn?"

"Yes!" Jenin exclaimed. "By the Gods, yes!"

"Then let's get on with it. Jen I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what your real name was?"

Jenin glanced at Elaan, who was still ignorant of the secret. "Jenin. It is real enough to me."

"Jenin." Luke said in acknowledgement. "Shall we continue?"

Jenin returned to the table and started to drag a dirty shirtsleeve over eyes and nose. "Wait," Luke said, grabbing the arm to stop it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the cloth his lunch had been wrapped in. It wasn't perfect, but it was considerably cleaner than the sleeve Jenin was about to use. He handed it to the young healer.

"My thanks," Jenin murmured, and wiped eyes and nose.

"Keep it," Luke said, as Jenin started to hand it back. The last thing he wanted was a snotty handkerchief. Luke waited for Jenin to stuff the cloth into a pocket before asking, "Ready?"

Jenin nodded and held out the small hands once again.

Luke took them, and drew in a cleansing breath. Jenin?

Yes? Will you still teach me? The question was desperate for reassurance.

I will.

It does not matter to you, Jenin thought, still in awe of that fact.

Why should it?

Because it matters to everyone else.

Not to me.

Jenin's despair and desperation was transforming into joy, and it was something beautiful to watch. Luke let it grow until Jenin, who had grown unused to such emotion, began to replace it with doubt.

Will you still teach me?

I will. But I have to go deeper.

I am not afraid now. Teach me.

Luke tried to push through to the next layer, where sub-vocalization mixed with emotions, but he encountered a new barrier, not so insurmountable as the earlier one. You're still blocking, Jenin. A reflexive thought went by, and he corrected himself. Jenine. Pretty name.

Please! Do not even think it! If that name should slip from your tongue

Surely it may be Jenine here, where outside ears can't hear.

I dare not! I hate Jenine. Jenin is better.

Why do you hate what you are? Who you are?

Because a girl cannot heal. A girl cannot be a Wizard, but only pass the gift. A girl cannot should not travel to where she is needed, but only stay at home. A girl cannot craft as well as a boy. A girl cannot do much more than marry and make babies. There was frustration and anger in her thoughts.

Obviously a girl can, Luke thought wryly.

You are the first to think so.

Luke saw her other secret then, but not nearly so big as the first one. Your father is still alive. He's the one who mind-linked with you before. But he wouldn't teach you because of your gender.

Will you abandon me, as well?

In the link, Luke reassured her with the promise that he would teach her. Where I come from, women have the same choices as men. There are as many women doctors healers as there are men. I can't tell you what face to show the people of your world, but Jenine is a very beautiful young woman. Don't hate her. Don't hate yourself.

My father hates Jenine. If I had been born a son instead of a daughter

Then you would not have become the extraordinary young woman that you are. Let it be Jenine. At least in here.

There was a softening, then, a longing to be accepted for what she was, and what she couldn't help being. Here, then. But not anywhere else! Not to anyone else! Not even to her!

Luke knew who 'her' was, and told the young healer in the link, Elaan would understand.

Not even to her! Jenin's fear at being discovered by the outside world threatened the trust that the mind-link needed.

All right, Luke promised, agreeing to keep the secret even from Elaan. It shall be Jenine only between you and me, and only here in the link. A moment of laughter bubbled through Luke's thoughts. How I could have missed that you were a girl is beyond me. I should have seen it back in the woods.

Jenin's answering bubble was more like a wry smile. If one wears enough dirt and assumes the mannerisms and the name, people do not look past the surface. My scar helps. They see the scar and do not look at the face.

Luke thought of his bonder's clothes and ring. You mistook me, too. That's why you were afraid to come nearer.

It was Jenin's turn to see something beyond the surface, but she didn't understand it. What is...Je-he-di? or...Jedi?

At the moment...it is one who teaches.

Not the real meaning. Or...not the full meaning.

Luke smiled, both in the link and physically. Good. He sent her the meaning, which was beyond words. Do you know the meaning now?

It is...a feeling. One who feels that which I am feeling from you now. It is hard to put a word to it. Love, perhaps, but not...necessarily romantic love, or...the words are hard.

Yes. But 'love' will do. There are many ways to express that love, Jenine. Teaching is one

And healing is another. Yes.

I'm going to go deeper now...

Yes.

Luke went deeper, where the barriers that separated two individual thoughts were less defined. The resistance now was no more than it would have been for a student he'd have prepared for a first mind-link, and after he pushed through, he took a moment to let both of them experience the joy/rapture/fear that a first mind-link always brought. Jenin had never been so intimate with anyone, and Luke hadn't been this intimate with anyone in a long time. It made living in the outside world seem...lonely.

Lonely, yes, Jenin thought. But not here. You have accepted me.

There was a tinge of sadness from Luke. To be accepted...he thought.

I accept you.

You do not know me.

I know enough. Show me the rest. I will accept you.

It's not pretty. Not as beautiful as who you are.

Show me. I will accept you.

Jenin saw then, but did not understand, the images of Darth Vader and Yoda and Ben Kenobi and Brenna and Briande and Elaan and Etan Lippa and former friends and students now dead and Luke's own dark pasts. Luke's secrets.

I do not understand, Jenin's feeling of confusion said.

Luke answered in a more cohesive thought. Darth Vader was my father. I am the son of Darkness. I was Darkness.

Jenin didn't know the details, but she got the gist of it. I understand. But he turned back to the light. Your light guided him. And your light now guides me.

Luke's emotions evolved to a sense of guilt about Brenna, and a profound sorrow at the imminent separation from Briande/Elaan that would soon come to pass.

I grieve for you, Jenin thought into the link. I grieve with you. Please do not be sad...

It's not all sad, Luke replied. He showed her the joys of his life, the times he would not trade for anything, even to be rid of the sorrows. He showed her the happy times, when he and Briande and Brenna were a family. He showed her the funny times, the ones that made him smile even now, years later. He showed her the previous mind-links he had shared, with Briande, with Brenna as a young child, and with his other students. He showed her the joy he felt now, sharing all this with her, in the mind-link.

You are beautiful, Master Wizard. Luke.

As are you, Jenine. Normally, this is all we would do in a first mind-link, learn to accept each other and see each other's beauty, but I have to leave tomorrow. Shall I show you the healing now?

Yes! Please!

He transferred her hands to his left arm, placing them on either side of the cut. Find my pulse. Can you feel it?

In the link, Luke showed her how to find his body rhythm, sensing it rather than physically feeling for it.

Yes... Jenin said into the link, finally understanding. Yes! I feel it!

Okay, good. Match your body rhythm to mine, and send a little energy through with each pulse. Then collect it again. Try it.

Jenin concentrated. Luke listened internally to the two pulses, careful to keep his own energy passive, and felt the energy being sent through his arm. Even less. Just the tiniest bit. Here, give me your arm. Just listen for a minute. Feel what I'm doing.

Jenin nodded, then was still. She sought Luke's pulse and found it. His pulse was speeding up to match hers, made quicker by her excitement at learning.

I haven't sent any energy through yet, Luke told her through the link. But I want you to tell me when I do.

Jenin nodded, and her heartbeat momentarily fluctuated. She forced herself to relax. Luke moved to a more surface level in the link, lest she feel the pulse as an echo from him rather than from her own senses. Then he found her rhythm again, and it was a moment or two before she said tentatively, I think...maybe just then. I am not certain. I just barely felt it.

Luke smiled. 'Just barely' is what you want. 'Just barely' is what I should feel when you do it. Think of it as replacing the nucleus of a single blood cell with energy, and sending it to the affected spot with each pulse.

'Nucleus'? 'Cell'?

Immediately she got a visual image of a blood cell, a bulging saucer-shape of red. Another word came to mind, platelet, but it was disconnected. Then, realizing that Jenin had never even seen a microscope, Luke tried to project some concept of size, thousands of saucers in a drop of blood, each one smaller than the head of a pin. Jenin's awe at the concept led him to show her a mental image of a primitive microscope, and Luke inadvertently connected the word antique to the image. It used a mirror and sun as the light source, had a hole in the bottom, a glass slide that allowed light to pass, lenses to magnify the image on the slide on either end of the tube, moving the tube up and down, moving one of the lenses up and down, to focus. The phrases electron microscope and neutron microscope flashed by, along with an apology of Sorry! and the knowledge that it was something that was above her level of comprehension.

Then realization dawned on Jenin, and she said into the link, My craftings are as child's play among your stars!

No, Luke assured her. Your science just hasn't caught up with ours yet.

You could give us the science!

I'm giving you a little bit now. As for the rest, your world is better off catching up in its own time. Luke tried to show her the plunder of the natural resources that would take place if any of the non-Republic worlds discovered her world, and why the New Republic specifically protected underdeveloped worlds by forbidding contact. In fact, Luke told her, I could get into serious trouble if anyone finds out I've given you this knowledge. So if anyone asks, you invented it yourself. A microscope is within the possibility of your technology, and the knowledge you gain from it will help the science of healing enormously.

I do not fully understand its workings...

I can...try to give you the image of the microscope, imprint a picture into your mind. You're good at drawing. Later, you can try to copy the image.

Yes!

Luke took her head between his hands and ran the fingers of one hand over her scalp until he came the spot closest to the visual memory receptors. It took time to give her the image, and review the individual parts so that she could recreate it later, but Luke felt it was worth the effort. When he was satisfied that she understood, he took a moment to rest. Imprinting took a lot of concentration, just as much as healing.

Try to come up with some names other than cell, nucleus, microscope, and so on, will you? he asked her. No point in making it extremely obvious that someone showed you what these are.

What about...micro-viewer, blood particle, and particle core?

Sounds good to me.

May I try the healing again? Jenin begged, impatient to continue.

Yes.

Jenin concentrated again. This time, she found Luke's pulse and let herself settle into the rhythm for a few moments before trying to send just the smallest bit of energy through. But it took enormous concentration, and she had to wait the space of a few beats before she could send another pulse through.

Much better! Luke told her. Now, don't forget to collect it on the other side."

I could not continue it...

That's okay. It will come with practice. The control and the endurance are what it's all about, Jenine, not power. Small amounts of energy. Too much, and you'll exhaust yourself before you accomplish anything.

Yes. I understand now. Jenin's thoughts were replaced with a bubble of laughter, at the sheer joy of learning the secret that had eluded her for so long. Then as the bubble floated away, she realized that the mind-link, with all its false starts and barriers and the imprinting, had worn Luke out. Master Wizard, you are tired!

Yes. But there is one thing more I would like to do before we stop. Jenine, I'd like to pull up the memory of your first link. May I?

To what purpose?

I would like to see something. It would be...a favor to me.

Yes, Jenin said. I would do anything to repay you for what you have given me!

Luke found the faint trail of the memory, then teased it free of the associations Jenin had given it, enhanced it, and replayed it dispassionately, analytically, viewing as an outsider viewing a tridee.

Yes... he said in the link, and smiled. Jenine, did you see it?

This much I know, Jenin told him, puzzled.

Yes, but look at it again. Try to see it from his point of view. Become your father, Jenine.

Luke replayed the memory again, devoid of Jenin's own emotions, and showed her how to see the other side. She saw a small part of it, then, and her surprise was so profound that Luke had to replay it one more time before she understood.

He didn't hate me, Jenin thought in wonder.

No.

But it saddened him that I was a girl.

Yes. Only because he knew you had the gift, Jenine. Only because you wanted to follow his steps. Only because of the danger of being Wizard-born. Only because that is the way things are on your world. It is the only world your father knows.

I can help change the world.

Yes, but not alone. Be careful, Jenine. I didn't show you how to use your gift for you to end up being burned as a witch. Your father didn't want you to suffer your mother's fate. Nor do I. Don't take chances. Use what I've taught you with discretion.

I will. Master Wizard?

Yes?

How...did you know about my father? And...how is showing me this a favor to you?

Luke smiled into the link, knowing that Jenin had sensed at least part of the answer already. Because I made the same mistake with my own daughter. Helping you was a little like...making up for that. Forgive him, Jenine. Even the Jedi make mistakes.

Thank you.

I have to stop now, Jenine.

I know.

I'm going to go higher now.

Yes.

There was sadness from her in the link as Luke moved to a more surface level. He could sense her loneliness at losing some of the intimacy between them and thought wryly about the irony of it. The intimacy and acceptance were what mind-linking was all about, and he had taught Jenin that, but unlike his other students, he couldn't console her with the knowledge that there would be another link between them after this one ended.

I'm sorry. Luke thought.

No! You have given me so much! This feeling will pass. But the rest! The rest will stay with me for all of my days!

Luke smiled sadly. You're consoling me now. I will miss you, Jenine.

And I you, Master Wizard.

Luke.

You will always be the Master Wizard to me.

Even after this?

Especially after this. I love you, Master Wizard.

I love you, too, Jenine. I have to go higher now.

I know.

As Luke pulled out of the link, he realized that he still had Jenin's head in his hands, from when he had imprinted the image of the microscope on her. Her eyes had spilled over with tears, and he used his thumbs to wipe them away. "I'm sorry, Jenine," he whispered. "I didn't mean to do that to you."

"It is 'Jenin' once again, Master Wizard," the young healer replied, also in a whisper. "And these are tears of joy more than any other." She took his hands from her face and kissed them both in turn, on the palms. "Thank you," she said.

Luke pulled one hand free to stroke her hair. "You're welcome."

Then Jenin came out of her chair and practically threw herself onto Luke in a hug. Seeing it coming, Luke managed to rise partway before it hit. He had to pick her up in order to turn and deflect some of the force, and she laughed. He laughed, too, and swung her around in a half circle before setting her back on her feet, neither one of them aware of Elaan's raised eyebrows as she regarded them.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Jenin shouted.

"You're welcome, welcome, welcome," Luke replied, grinning.

Despite Luke's grin, Elaan saw the exhaustion that was written on his face, and thought it time to intervene. "You two were thick as the thieves you are for the longest while. And I assume, Jenin, that you learned what you wished?"

"Oh, yes!" Jenin replied. "And more!"

"Well, then I suggest you leave the 'Master Wizard' to his rest. And if you ever find yourself in the Norwood territory near the village of Trent along the Elgood road, seek the home of Timmon and Elaan, and you will find yourself a welcome."

"Would you harbor a Wizard-born, then, milady?"

"Elaan," said Luke, smiling, "why don't you show the kid?"

Elaan raised her eyebrows at him, then smiled at Jenin, and dropped her shield. Sensing her presence back at the encampment, Aren immediately dropped his, thus adding two more entities which Jenin could sense along with Luke's and Rupert's. Elaan contacted Aren briefly to reassure him.

Joy lit Jenin's features at the two additional presences. "Four! Four in one place!"

"Five, counting yourself," Elaan corrected.

"Six, if you count Brenna," Luke countered back.

"And seven, counting the Sniffer," Elaan reminded him.

"I have never seen such a gathering of wizards!" Jenin exclaimed. "Oh, sir, they shall not wipe us out, ever, if seven can gather at once!"

"Yeah, well, be careful out there, Jenin. Just remember that one of the seven was a Sniffer who was planning to reduce the other six down to zero, and three are off-worlders. Don't take any unnecessary chances."

"Assuredly I will not. But...seven!" She looked at Elaan. "How do you do it? How do you hide?"

Elaan smiled. "Your gift is healing. Mine is concealment. Luke's...is teaching. We each have our own strengths."

"Yes," Jenin agreed. She turned to Luke. "I shall never forget this day, Master Wizard. If there is any way in which I can repay you for what you have given me, please tell me."

Luke smiled and stretched his hand out to lay his palm against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned against it slightly, savoring the last contact between them, albeit a physical one. "There is," Luke said. "Forgive him, Jenin. We all make mistakes."

Jenin opened her eyes. "Do you think...he would forgive me, for loving the craft more than him?"

Luke thought for a second. "I don't think 'forgive' is the right word. You haven't done anything that needs forgiveness. 'Understand' might be better. I think I hope the answer is 'yes.' But it won't be easy for him. It will take time. Be patient with him. We old men tend to get stuck in our ways."

Jenin smiled. "Sluggish, perhaps, but not 'stuck.' Master Wizard, if you ever have need of me "

"I'll be able to find you."

"I hope someday we may meet again."

"Me, too. Goodbye, Jenin. Take care."

"Goodbye."

Jenin opened the door and descended the stairs. Partway down, she stopped, and turned around. Luke smiled and gave her a wave. She hesitated, returned the wave vigorously, then descended the rest of the way, out of sight.

When Luke and Elaan were once again alone inside the room and the door was closed, Elaan said, "You enjoyed that."

"What?" Luke asked.

"Teaching the boy."

Luke shrugged. "A fresh, young mind, eager to learn. Is there any reason why I shouldn't?"

"None at all," Elaan said. "I merely point out that your pleasure in the task matches your talent for it. The boy was transformed. His fear became joy. It would be a shame to let such talent of fall into disuse."

"Yeah, well, I'll have a new grandchild before long. Maybe I'll get the chance to teach again after all."

"Good," Elaan said. Then her smile became sad.

"What is it?" Luke asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"This is our last night together."

"Unless you change your mind about coming with me after we rescue Timmon."

"No... I cannot leave him. Or Aren."

Luke's hands moved from her shoulders to take her face. "Then let's make the most of the time we have left, shall we?"

"Yes..." she whispered, and met Luke's kiss with her own.