A new page...
Untethered; Diary of a Queen By Monikku
Endymion insists what he loves best about me is my endless compassion,
though he wished it didn't often pain me. My heart oft aches, now it does so for Saturn.
I've wondered many times what it means to be Sailor Saturn. I've wondered what Hotaru felt as she integrated with Saturn, with a being wholly separate from herself. Myself and the rest of the senshi, we merely integrated with the rest of ourselves, we became whole, having been introduced with the memories our souls collected over time, over lives.
She melted together with Saturn, to become a completely different and distinct individual. I suppose she stopped being Hotaru over a millennia ago,
though still, I think of her as that quiet, sensitive girl. That young girl who softened Chibi-Usa so easily.
The girl who fell in love with my daughter.
Ever since Chibi-Usa went back to the future, I've felt the subtle difference in Hotaru. I've noticed how she distanced herself from everyone.
Perhaps in preparation for Chibi-Usa's birth. For the knowledge that, by the time Chibi-Usa is made aware of Hotaru, and of Saturn, it will already be too late. It will be time for her to rise to queen, and for myself and my senshi to finally lay in rest.
Many of my senshi seem tortured by futile loves. What a horrible thing for me to say, of course no love is futile. I only wish, for a moment, I could give those in agony, precisely what they desire.
Perhaps, Chibi-Usa will find a way, even for a moment. I suspect, she felt similarly. My child will travel to the past, and come to love the person she now knows of as "Sweet, but sort of cold." The heart ache was written all over my face as she spoke those words, and she asked so concerned, if she had said something wrong.
"No child, no. You only misunderstand Saturn, she is entirely sweet. You will come to know this."
She is entirely sweet, whoever she may be.
page 2
Untethered; Diary of a Queen By Monikku
Endymion insists what he loves best about me is my endless compassion,
though he wished it didn't often pain me. My heart oft aches, now it does so for Saturn.
I've wondered many times what it means to be Sailor Saturn. I've wondered what Hotaru felt as she integrated with Saturn, with a being wholly separate from herself. Myself and the rest of the senshi, we merely integrated with the rest of ourselves, we became whole, having been introduced with the memories our souls collected over time, over lives.
She melted together with Saturn, to become a completely different and distinct individual. I suppose she stopped being Hotaru over a millennia ago,
though still, I think of her as that quiet, sensitive girl. That young girl who softened Chibi-Usa so easily.
The girl who fell in love with my daughter.
Ever since Chibi-Usa went back to the future, I've felt the subtle difference in Hotaru. I've noticed how she distanced herself from everyone.
Perhaps in preparation for Chibi-Usa's birth. For the knowledge that, by the time Chibi-Usa is made aware of Hotaru, and of Saturn, it will already be too late. It will be time for her to rise to queen, and for myself and my senshi to finally lay in rest.
Many of my senshi seem tortured by futile loves. What a horrible thing for me to say, of course no love is futile. I only wish, for a moment, I could give those in agony, precisely what they desire.
Perhaps, Chibi-Usa will find a way, even for a moment. I suspect, she felt similarly. My child will travel to the past, and come to love the person she now knows of as "Sweet, but sort of cold." The heart ache was written all over my face as she spoke those words, and she asked so concerned, if she had said something wrong.
"No child, no. You only misunderstand Saturn, she is entirely sweet. You will come to know this."
She is entirely sweet, whoever she may be.
page 2