And this is Chapter 5!!!!
"Bad news Toby," said a disgruntled JT, "the other guys have convinced Clay Aiken to join their band. What are we gonna do? We're no match for the Downtown Sasquatch featuring Clay Aiken!"
"Oh no!" cried Toby.
"Dude...you really are no help at all," remarked J ta tha Tizzle.
"Oh no!" cried Toe to the bizzloby.
"I've got it! Let's convince Huckleberry Hound to join our rap duo! Then we'll have a rap trio!" shouted Jizzle.
"Then we'll be a rap crew! I mean...OH NO!" cried Lobby.
"We should get a girl to join too. Because...yeah," said LODMTPO(Ladies Occasionaly Don't Mind The Presence Of) Cool JT.
"Let's ask Paige! Because she's hot if you look at her from a certain angle. And she hangs out with Jimmy and Hazel so it's like she's black!" shouted an excited Toblikilikilikiliki.
A
"Alright guys if we want to win then we'll need to sex up your image. You've got to look metro," explained Clay.
"You mean we have to wear silly hats like Marco?" asked Jimmy.
"Oh god no!" said Clay, "you just have to look sexy. You need to appeal to both gay men and teenage girls. Turns out they like the same things," said Clay as he picked out garish see through shirts for all the boys.
"Jimmy will be the bad boy because he's black, Marco will be the sexy Latin one," said Clay as he handed them their outfits.
"But I'm Italian," objected Martino.
"And no one holds it against you. Craig you'll be the cute one, Spinner you'll be the fat one, and I'll be the hearthrob lead singer," said Cloyster with a smile.
"You do realize that we play instruments, don't you?" asked Craigger.
"Doesn't matter. You still need to work on your stage presence. You've got to walk before you can run. And it works out because Hot Dog Spinner is stuck behind that drum set so he won't ruin our image,"
"Oh good point," said HOT DAMN DOG Spinner.
"Now, you just have to learn this song I wrote just in case some Canadian high school students asked me to perform with them in their high school talent show to win the $5,000 prize to help support their baby mamas," said Cap'n Claiken.
"It's called 'Love Buffet'," said a slightly disgusted Cra the Ultimate Warrior.
"Just learn it bitches," ordered Cap'n Crunch.
A
"Hey thanks for coming out to the first ever convenient talent competition put on by Degrassi Community School to help all you irresponsible males take care of your baby mamas!! Our first performance is by a group calling themselves 'The Mounties' so give a big hand to Big Toe Bee, J to the izzle bizzle for shizzle grizzle dizzle tizzle Tizzee, Huckleberry Hizzound, Dizzudley Dizzoo Rizzight, and Paige performing their super hit "I'ma Mount Yo Mama!" squealed the announcizzler.
"Yo yo yo hey!" rapped J to the izzle bizzle mizzle pizzle...."I saw you walkin,
uh uh, I saw you talkin!"
"Talkin to yo girl!
Talkin to yo homies!
You be lookin at me but bitch you don't know me!" continued Toe Bee.
"You be talkin to you friends!
Talkin to yo 'rents!
But what you don't know is I done mounted 'em!" jammed Dudders.
"I mounted you girl like she be mount everest,
I mounted you best friend,
but the last one bes the best" rapped Fuckleberry.
"Beeyatch ima mount yo mama,
I wizzanted to since i saw her
I'ma do it cause i wanna
How'd a ho like you get such a hot mama?" sang/rapped Pizzile the girly Gizzle with the gay brizzle.
A
"Oh no! They're really good," whined Spinner.
"He's right Claiken," said a rather worrried Cryagg, "I don't wanna get SERVED!"
"What! No one mentioned the possibility of getting a serving! You guys, I don't think I can do this," said Marco like a whiny fag boy.
"No one's going to get served if we do this right. Just stick with me. I never lose," boasted Claikenbot 400.
"What? You lost to Rueben!" shouted Crigger.
"Uh..yeah about that..." murmered Clikin.
"Oh man...I know I can't do this now," sighed Marco, "I'm sorry Manny."
"¿Para qué?" asked a sweet voice from behind him. Marco turned to see his beautiful Manuela standing there. She smiled and kissed him softly before he pulled away.
"Manny, what are you doing here?" asked Markodo.
"Vine mirarle realizarse. Más los mounties sea tremendo. Usted va a ser maravilloso. ¿Y usted sabe por qué? Porque creo en usted. Creo en nuestro amor. Creo en nuestro bebé."
"Oh Man-handy I love you. Will you marry me?" axed I voted for Kodos from one knee. In his hand was a plain black box with a glittering diamond ring inside.
"¿Pero de dónde usted consiguió el dinero para esto?" questioned Manny in a daze.
"I sold one of Craig's livers," explained Homer.
"Pero Craig tiene solamente un hígado," whispered Marge.
"I don't care. I only have one you. And we only have one baby. Will you please marry me?" asked Bart again.
"Sí, por supuesto le casaré. Usted hace me la sensación hermosa y española. Después de que el bebé sea nato y graduamos, movámosnos a España. España hermosa, hermosa. Le estoy casando porque usted no piensa en mí como lo hizo una cierta cogida fácil como Craig, o Sully lo hizo, o como el JT lo hizo... o como cada otro individuo tiene siempre. Sé que usted me ama verdad porque somos ambos extremadamente atractivos y bilingües. No amaría nada más que ser su esposa Marco," eclaimed Maggy as she wrapped her arms around Marco's neck.
"Look Manny, I've got to go perform," said Marco as he broke their embrace.
"Sí, entiendo. Golpéelos absolutamente, mi amante atractivo," said Manjy with a smile. Marco returned the smile and gave her the ring box and ran out onto the stage with his boys.
A
"Alright now ladies and gents and gents who are all femmy like ladies, put your hands together for Downtown Sasquatch featuring Claiken!! They'll be singing their new classic, 'Love Buffet'!"
"Girl, I don't want no single servings to your love,
I want it all and you know I can never get enough.
Tubby Tug Boat Terri could eat every edible morsel,
Cuz food ain't as boundless as my heart.
Your love is like a fine cuisine,
I've ordered every meal from the menu of your fa-a-ace
But it's still not enough for my appetite, girl.
My stomach is bottomeless if your serving up your love.
I'll take to the salad bar cuz that's all I you can eat,
And I don't know how many times I gotta say
I can never fill up on your love.
Your love is like a fine cuisine,
I've ordered every meal from the menu of your fa-a-ace
But it's still not enough for my appetite, girl.
So if your hungry too,
And if you're Terri I know you are,
Then you can come and binge on my love,
My heart girl, is a buffet for you." sang Claiken sweetly. Terri cried into her five pies. She was mentioned twice. She forgot all about JT and Toby's transgressions because Clay took her to a better place. A place where pies were love, instead of bloody abuse induced comas. Terri was happy once again. Pie had never tasted so sweet.