"Shiit, them bitches had some pretty tight shit, mayn," said a rather impressed Jay to a rather fearful Toby.
"Don't be bringin that shit up in this! Whose side is you on?" demanded an infuriated Toby.
"I'm just trying to protect my main mayn from gittin served is all. We coo?" inquired Jizzay.
"Ain't none of us gettin served," assured J Tambo.
"How you know?" asked Huckleberry Finn.
"Cuz that bitch Claiken done came in second before and you know what they say, 'once a losah, always a losah!" pointed out Operation Dumbo Drop.
"Good point mayn," said Jay. Jay's girlfriend Hazel came and wrapped her arms around Jay's lean torso. She lovingly fondled his love handles lovingly.
A
"So, Mr. Simon Cowell...what do you think of the performances so far?" asked the lame announcer.
"Would you like me to start with the Mounties or the Sasquatch? You Canadians certainly have no talent when it comes to names. I mean honestly, Quebec?" replied the English Bastard.
"Uhh...start with the Mounties I guess," said Dr. Lame.
"Well, I don't suppose I need to even mention the deplorable content of the song. The lyrics were tacky and ridiculous. The performers all lacked experience and most assuredly talent. Though that blue hound did seem promising...but all in all, it was awful. The song didn't suit any of the people singing it. And they all picked stage names sillier than one of Marco's hats. So I would have to say, that it's a downgrade," insulted Alvin.
"Well...alright then. How about the Downtown Sasquatch featuring Clay Aiken?" asked Dr. Strange.
"Well...the lyrics lacked subtlety but I rather enjoyed the song. Clay actually has some semblance of talent but I honestly cannot speak for the rest of the band. They seemed to sort of fumble around on stage holding instruments with no clear idea of what to do, (Joey was right??) And yes Joey was right. None of them had any stage presence and they all seemed to be playing into a stereotype. But this band was definitely sexier than the last one. Two stars for effort," growled Theodore.
"Well alright then," said Dr. Doom. Suddenly Liberty ran on stage and handed the villain a slip of paper, "it looks like we have a late entry!! Everyone put your hands together for Hell Hath No Fury featuring Ruben Studdard and Sully on the tambourine!!!1!!!"
"Umm...hi," said Ashley shyly, "My name is Ashley and I was recently hurt by a boy. But who cares about that now because I have a new love...well...like. And I'd just like to say that once you go black you never go back."
"Mmm, yeah," Ashbox started to sing while Ruben just repeated whatever she said.
And Sully jammed on his tambourine.
"You ripped me up like daisy petals,
So i had to turn to metal
Can't believe you're trying to meddle
Oh no do you hear that i think its the tea kettle!
But don't worry baby I've got someone new
Someone who ain't a cheater like you
Now I'm gonna rip YOUR heart out, foo
And sell it to buy myself some new shoes
'cause I love you black cheetah
and I really need ya
I also really liked 'Frieda'
Also to Craig, "see ya!"
The blood fills my eyes
I see through your disguise
You sure aren't wise
Now go make me some fries'cause you're a liar, woah
I hope you enjoyed the show
'cause I ain't your ho
Oh hell no
And I have fallen in love
Floating on the wings of a dove
And when push comes to shove
He will make me feel like I'm above
I'ma rip out your heart (or liver)
Sell it on the black mart
In a shopping cart
Tell Spinner not to fart!
'cause you're a liar, woah
I hope you enjoyed the show
'cause I ain't your ho
Oh hell no I hope you choke
This ain't a joke
Tell all these folk
While I take a soak
You're a liar, woah
You're a liar, woah
You're a liar, woah
Hope you enjoy the show
Hope you know I ain't your ho
You're a liar, woah
Liar, woah
Liiiar...like woah!
Iloveyouchris!!!" finished Jukebox grandly.
A
"Oh shit, I think we just got served," was all Claikentron could say.
"Fuck, we should have asked Ruben," was all Craigenquad could say.
A
"Fuck, we should have asked Ruben," was all Dudley Do Right could say.
A
"I think there's no question about it. But just in case there is, let's ask Simon!" shouted the announcedor.
"Well...the singing could have been better but Ruben was a good distraction. Sully totally rocked on the tambourine and the lyrics were surprisingly deep. I think we have our winner!" judged Chipmunk.
"Well you heard him folks!! Looks like Hell Hath No Fury featuring Ruben Studdard and Sully wins the baby mama support fund!!" announced the announcer.
A
"Damnit, next time we ask Ruben. Fuck Claiken," shouted Kid Jim.
"I just don't get it. We beat them before when Craig was singing off key. You'd think we'd win for sure now that we have a real talent on the mic," pondered Spindy.
"I think it was Sully and his tambourine that put them up," added Margay.
"Maybe they didn't have a dumb Italian fag with silly hats dragging them down," roared Craigen Auto Parts.
This was an unfortunate turn of events for sure! The dream team was split up! Clay Aiken was useless! And Marco's baby mama is broke again. Hopefully another convenient money making scheme reveals itself before it's too late!! And what exactly do the girls need that money for? Are the boys going to find out about the mysterious sickness all the girls seem to have? Is Ashley going to write more pseudo-depressed crap? Will Ruben stick around? Will there be anymore annoying questions?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF....THE TREND!!!