Of Headmasters and Socks

Disclaimer: I own only the obvious, the rest belongs to JK Rowling.

Authors Note: Well, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

-Chapter Nine-

"What did we do to deserve this insanity?" Harry groaned.

"I know I couple of things I've done, but I'm not so sure about you." Severus replied with a heavy sigh.

The two black-haired men were currently in the Headmaster office trying to get a few minutes of relaxation after the Order meeting and before throwing themselves into the insanity known as Hogwarts. Harry was in the form of the old Headmaster, and Severus was sprawled in his chair, grace and posture be damned. Fawkes was hungrily eyeing the chocolate-chip cookies that stood on the table between the two men.

"Once this is over I'm taking a loooooooong holiday," Harry declared a minute later. "I had to give up the 'Phantom of the Opera' for this, who knows if I'll ever get a break like that again. Albus owes me a big one after this."

"You're not the only one," the Potion Master grumbled. "If you're going on holiday, would you consider a travelling-partner? I hear that Hawaii is very nice."

Suddenly the mental image of Severus Snape in a crazy Hawaiian shirt, beige shorts, sandals and a straw-hat, standing on a beach with a drink in one hand, popped into Harry's head and he couldn't help but chuckle. A second later he was outright laughing. The Slytherin Head of House looked at him for a second, then seemed to catch on and smirked.

"Weird image," the older man admitted. "Makes me look like Albus in that shirt, huh?"

"Indeed, though you're welcome to come with me anytime. Fawkes!" Harry reprimanded the phoenix when he saw that all the chocolate-chip cookies were gone from the supposedly ever-filling plate. The fowl surreptitiously removed any crumbs from his beak, then sent a 'who, me?' look to the two wizards who were glaring at him.

Harry sighed and shook his head. "That phoenix is as insane as his owner."

"No need to tell me," Severus sent one last glare towards the phoenix, then picked up his now-cool cup of tea. "Any idea what we can do with McGonagall the Impostor?"

"Confront her about it?"

"Probably won't work."

"Veritaserum?"

"It takes a month to make, and I have none in stock."

"Kidnap her, tie her up, take her to the old Riddle house and brutally torture the truth out of her?"

"Cliché, but lets keep that in mind as a plan B."

"So what is plan A?"

"Wish I knew." The Slytherin replied. "Do you think Salazar and Godric might want to help us?"

Harry nodded. "Knowing them they won't pass it up. Why? Do you have a plan?"

"I do, but I'm worried they will start arguing and alert the entire world to our intentions."

"There is that." There was a short silence in the room, before Harry grinned. "It doesn't have to be a male ghost, now does it?"

Snape's black eyes glittered. "Who are you proposing then?"

Harry smirked.

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"No, absolutely not!"

"Come on, Helga," Harry begged. "You know you want to."

"I want to throw the fake McGonagall out of the school: yes, but I don't want to go poking around another woman's personal stuff!"

Severus sighed. The had been at this for an hour already. "But to throw the fake McGonagall out of the school we need evidence, and you're the last person – ghost or not – she would expect in her rooms. Besides, no one would ever think that the Founder of Hufflepuff House would sink so low."

"And I won't be sinking!" Helga protested.

"You'll personally get to throw the impostor out of Hogwarts." Harry tried to bribe the ghost.

"And flirt with whoever you want as long as they are dead." Severus quickly backed him up.

"Make Hufflepuff win the House Cup, and we have a deal." The ghostly woman said after a few minutes silence.

"The year is still young," Harry agreed. "Much can happen before summer vacation starts."

Helga sighed. "Alright, I'll be right back." With that she disappeared.

Severus sank into his chair again. "You do know that we can't help Hufflepuff win, don't you?"

Harry nodded and downed the rest of his tea. "And it's not even October yet. If it's like this every year, I have no idea how you survive."

"Neither do I. All I can thank the gods for is that Salazar and Godric are somewhere else and aren't bothering us."

"That's the only good thing about this situation."

The other man nodded. "Well, all we can do now is wait for Helga to return. Chess?"

"I claim black!"

"Being the Boy Who Lived I would have thought you would choose white."

"Nah, not really."

"Ok, chess."

"What?! On the fourth move?! Bloody hell, I'm screwed."

"That you are."

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Helga returned two hours later in the company of the other three Founders.

Severus and Harry who were on their 250th game of chess – 248 of those won by Severus – looked up when the four ghosts entered the office through the wall.

"Well?"

"What well?" Godric asked.

"There's a well somewhere?" Salazar looked around. "I don't see any well."

Rowena sighed. "There is no well. We didn't build any well for Hogwarts when we built the school."

"Then why did Severus say 'well'?" the Gryffindor Founder demanded. "Jumping Jews of Jerusalem!"

"Hey! Leave the poor Jews alone!" Salazar growled. "Isn't it enough you want to molest them?"

"I DON'T WANT TO MOLEST THE JEWS!!!!"

Rowena and Helga quickly showed the two male ghosts out of the room before the argument could get physical. Harry and Severus just watched the show without batting an eyelid, then Severus turned towards the shapeshifter and said, "Alright, you win. One does get used to those two fighting all the time."

Helga floated over to the two wizards and sat down in midair. "You two owe me big for this, you do know that, right?" they nodded. "Good, just checking."

"So, did you find anything at all?" Harry asked, then winced as Severus' queen blew his knight into smithereens.

"We did," Rowena replied and sat down beside Helga. "I met Helga on the way, and she told me what you two made her do, so I accompanied her to keep watch while she searched. Anyways, we found this letter." She handed the parchment to Severus. "Rather interesting, don't you think?"

"This A. D. person cannot be Albus or Aberforth, we know that much." Harry said after he read the letter himself.

Severus nodded in agreement. "Neither of them are insane enough to first hide the Sword, and then steal it. That's even beyond them." He looked closely at the letter again. "We know now that the Impostor-McGonagall doesn't want to steal the Sword, but to protect it; and she doesn't seem to like our dear DADA teacher either."

"Who are all these agents. 006 and 48? What kind of code-names are those?"

"Code-names only used by the Unspeakables." The Potion Master replied. He gave the letter back to Helga. "Please put it back where you found it, there's no need to watch over McGonagall anymore."

Harry felt as if a part of the weight had been removed. "Well, at least that's one thing we won't have to worry about anymore. What I am worrying about is where the real McGonagall might be."

There was a long silence in the room while Helga went and put the letter back where she had found it, then returned. As the Hufflepuff Founder sat down again and picked up her ghostly cup of tea, Rowena spoke up:

"Right, now we know that this A. D. person is after the Sword, which means he has an agent within these walls. An agent who is ready to apparently kill to get to the Sword, if this duel between impostor-McGonagall and Molloy was anything to go by. Which in turn means that A. D's agent is Thomas Molloy. The question now is: how soon is he going to try to take the Sword?"

"There's another question," Harry corrected to woman. "Where the hell is Dumbledore and the other heads?"

"Well, yes, that too."

"And who is this A. D. person?" Severus added.

"Yes, indeed."

"How soon will Dumbledore and the other heads be back?"

"Alright, alright!!!! No more questions! One thing at the time!" Rowena said and put her teacup down. "First things first: who is A. D? Do you know anything Severus?"

The Potion Master nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps, but it is only a thought."

"Nevertheless, share it with us." Harry said. "We need to restore some normality into this insanity."

"As you wish. There is a Russian wizard who collects magical artefacts, the thing is: he isn't too fond of paying for them. Rather, he wants them stolen and brought to him on a silver platter. Voldemort often went to him when he was in need of some Dark Artefact or other. His name is Amadeus Dimitrov, but by my calculations he should be over 80 years old by now."

"So? Just look at Dumbledore, and he's over 160!"

"True."

"So now we have the who, the why and the how." Helga said. "The only thing we are missing is the when."

Harry thought for a bit. "Probably sometimes in the close future. Molloy has already been discovered by impostor-McGonagall, and he knows it will only be a matter of days before the supposed Dumbledore finds out as well. When is the next check-up on the Sword?"

"In two days time, if I remember correctly." Severus replied.

"That's it, then," the impostor-Dumbledore said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Molloy will probably offer to go down and check up on it, and we will follow him. There's no need to put the entire school in danger and try to capture the man in one of the corridors or the halls."

"And down there we have the help of a certain dragon and other creatures of Hagrid's." Severus nodded, a smirk growing on his face. "It really is a shame that you weren't put in Slytherin, Potter."

Harry just grinned and Rowena and Helga shook their heads fondly. Men!

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There, that's done. What do you think?

This story has also gone from SLASH to PRE-SLASH.

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