Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. What I DO own is a very creative mind. At least, I think so…
The day started like any other day. I got out of bed, got ready for school. I hate wearing long sleeve shirts, even in the summertime. But I have to. It's the only way to keep other people from touching me. And if it keeps people safe, then it's worth it.
Most people wouldn't believe that I'm so caring and protective. That's only because I keep a hardened shell on, to keep people from getting to know me. And that, again, is to keep people safe.
Sometimes, I hate how caring I am. If I weren't so self-sacrificing, or whatever you want to call it, then life would be a lot easier. But at the same time, more complicated. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I don't care. I'll just go on with my day and figure things out as I go.
Well, I went down to breakfast, only to find Scott and Jean talking, just like every other morning. I had to keep myself calm at the sight. I had a crush on Scott a while ago: a big one. I wanted to be close to him, to let him in. He was the only one. But then, he didn't want me like I wanted him. He wanted Jean, little Miss Perfect. Everything she does is perfect in his eyes. But me…well, let's just say I'm not as perfect as he'd like. Yeah, we're friends. But we aren't close. More like acquaintances, I guess. Sometimes, we'll go to the music store, or get some coffee, but nothing else. Every time I see him, I try to forget how I felt a while ago. But every time, I feel a burning inside me. It's all because Jean takes everything I want. She gets more than me. And it's all because she does everything perfectly.
Well, I tried to ignore them and got myself a cup of orange juice, looking at the front page of the paper that Logan read. Just garbage today. Not worth reading. Heck, I didn't know why Logan read it anyway. Maybe it was just because his was part of his daily routine, and he didn't want to screw it up. I don't know, but it didn't matter.
Kurt appeared then, grabbing a blueberry muffin. "Hey, Rogue," he greeted with a toothy grin. He hadn't turned on his image inducer yet, but it didn't matter. I was used to seeing him like this. In fact, I liked it better than when he looked normal. This way, he wasn't covering up who he was, like I do.
I smiled. "Hey," I replied, sipping my juice again.
Kitty suddenly phased through the ceiling, landing on the floor beside me. She grabbed a muffin, also, and promptly began munching on it.
Scott came forward, offering to give us a ride to school. Kurt, Kitty and I agreed, and then we piled into his car. His precious cherry-red convertible. I think it means more to him than anything else. Well, except Jean. Actually, I think they mean the same. After all, they're both red and they're both PERFECT. A match made in heaven.
The ride to school was uneventful. I sat on the right side, as far away as from Kitty as I could. I didn't want to accidentally touch her. Luckily, she didn't notice. She and Kurt talked, leaving me to my own thoughts.
I found myself thinking about that stupid Cajun. The damned Swamp Rat who kidnapped me and took me to New Orleans to use for his own stupid reasons. I still haven't forgiven him. I don't like being used. I haven't seen him in a while, something I'm eternally grateful for. Whenever he sees me, he calls me names like "Chere" and other things. And what I hate the most is that I usually have a hard time giving in to him. Deep down, I love the attention I get. But I hate where it's coming from.
We made it to school, where I went through my classes, not really thinking about anything. More than anything else, I was fighting the voices in my head. Magneto wanted me to kill everyone in the room. Scott and Jean wanted me to pay attention. Kurt said that I should daydream. Kitty wanted me to come to school in pink the next day. Sabertooth said I should kill Wolverine. Logan wanted me to pay attention. Mystique wanted me to leave the X-Men. Remy wanted me to look for him after school. John said I should set fire to the school. Piotr, Professor Xavier, Evan, Blob, Lance, Pietro, and Storm were all silent, but I knew they wouldn't be for long. I tried to lock them up, eventually succeeding. But afterward, I was mentally exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than to take a nap, which Remy and John quickly agreed to. But I couldn't. I made it through the day, walking home, only to find that we had a training session today. I sighed, trying to come up with the amount of energy I would need to get through. I quickly found it after drinking a quick cup of coffee and then hurrying down to the Danger Room, clad in my uniform.
The Danger Room transformed into a forest, and we were all split apart. We were supposed to find one another, surviving everything that happened. Joy.
I stepped through some trees hesitantly, looking around for anything that seemed remotely out of place. When I found nothing, I slowly continued forward, leaves crunching beneath my black boots. My eyes darted around, searching for a teammate of mine. I couldn't see anyone. Suddenly, lasers rained down on me. My brought my arms up to protect my head and quickly ducked behind a tree, glancing out to see a robot nearby. I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what to do. I glanced down, hoping to see a rock that I could use. I got lucky, finding one beside my foot. I quickly picked it up and spared a glance at the android again. It suddenly moved so that it could hit me, and that was when I threw my rock, hitting the camera. I jumped up, grabbing a branch and swinging back and forth. I launched myself towards the machine, landing on it and ripping out the laser gun and mechanical claws. The robot began flying around, trying to shake me off. I tightened my grip, holding on for dear life. I found the control panel and ripped it open, grabbing and handful of wires and wrenching them through the opening. The machine jerked and then dropped to the ground, motionless. I gasped for breath, thankful that I had taken care of that.
That was when I heard the "bamf" behind me. I whirled around, hoping that it was the person I that I thought it was.
Kurt stood before me in all his furry glory, his hands up. "Don't vorry, I von't attack," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.
I nodded, and we continued through the forest. We stumbled upon Kitty, who phased through another machine, and we hurried through the forest, quickly running into Scott and Jean. That was when the session ended, and we were allowed to leave. I trudged from the room, exhausted. I wanted to go to sleep. I could do that, too, but who knew if one of the voices would take control while I was asleep? What would happen then?
I went up to my room, resigning to take a nap. I needed one. The only thing I could do was pray to God that the voices stayed locked up.
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I woke up two hours later, finding myself in my bedroom. I glanced around. Nothing was out of place. The voices were still locked up. Good, nothing had happened.
Suddenly, all hell broke loose in my head. Everyone was screaming for me to eat, to hurt someone, to set something on fire. I groaned, feeling an instant headache. "Shut up," I muttered. The voices went silent, and I left for dinner. Numerous options were set out, and the voices started up again, each yelling for me to eat something different. I rubbed my temple, trying to shut them up and decide what I wanted to eat.
I couldn't decide. I didn't know what I wanted to eat. I couldn't remember what I would normally want. My breathing quickened as panic arose in me. Exactly what I had feared was happening. I had tried to stop it, but it wasn't working. Now, I didn't know what I was going to do.
Kitty suddenly nudged me. "Hey, Rogue, you okay?" she asked.
I nodded slightly.
"Well, try this. It's really good," Kitty replied, handing me a casserole.
I didn't know what to do, so I took what she offered. It wasn't that bad, but my taste buds told me it wasn't something I usually ate.
That night, as I lay away in bed, I couldn't help but worry what would happen. I couldn't lock up the voices for long periods of time anymore. Either they were growing stronger, or I was growing weaker. I didn't know what to do. It was then that I realized that I needed to tell someone. My stubborn side popped up, telling me that I could handle. It wasn't made any easier by the contradicting voices in my head. I groaned, and rolled over to sleep. I would handle it tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.
But what if then was too late?
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