Authors note: Cutting is a serious issue; it is a sign of depression and depression is mental illness. If you know someone who is cutting themselves tell someone you trust right away.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it Characters. All are property of their respective owners
A Silent Knife
Chapter Two
Reaching Out
Sunlight was flooding the clearing were the Inuyasha gang slept. It was morning and all the birds were out and twittering loudly; making it quite hard to get much more sleep. Miroku slowly opened his eyes. Ow; his head was pounding painfully over his right eye. He felt slightly nauseous and lightheaded too. Why did he feel like this again? Oh yes last night. Sango found him out. He sat up and reached up to rub his eyes free of sleep and noticed that there were tear stains on his face. He had cried him self to sleep last night. He quickly licked his thumb and scrubbed furiously at the tear stains; he had to get rid of them before anyone noticed.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Inuyasha yelled at the birds; throwing a rock at the tree they were nesting in. The birds scattered; taking off into the pale blue morning sky.
"Inuyasha! That was cruel!" Kagome reprimanded. "The birds didn't deserve that."
"Yeah, Inuyasha that was mean!" Shippou agreed with Kagome; as always.
"They were pissing me off! And what's it to you anyway?!"
"What's it to me?!" She asked; now also yelling. "You treat me as though I am being annoying!
"You ARE annoying, wench!"
"Wench?! You'd better learn some respect if you want me to stay here and help you find the Shikon shards! You jerk, SIT!" With that word Inuyasha got a fine taste of the dirt in that area. This was the usual start of every morning. Everything seemed to be normal. Miroku surveyed the pair; they didn't seem to be acting or pretending to be normal. Did they know? Had Sango told them? He needed to find her.
"Houshi-Sama?" Came Sango's voice quietly from behind him; speak of the devil. "Are you well?" That was a foolish question Miroku thought. Of course he wasn't well.
"Did you-" Miroku sat rigidly, not facing her. He determinedly kept his attention on the ground; not looking at her. "-tell anyone?" He could feel her staring at his back. He would have liked to hope that she hadn't told anyone, but he had learned that life was less painful when you expected the worse.
"I didn't tell anyone, I promised you I wouldn't. Do you trust me that little?" Sango asked, sounding a little hurt.
Miroku stood up and brushed the dirt off his robes. He still refused to look at her. "There are very few people in this world I trust. Do not take it personally." He inhaled and conjured up all the happiness in himself (which wasn't much) and put on a smile. No one would ever know… "Ah, Kagome-Sama! You are looking gorgeous this morning!"
Kagome blushed; even though she knew he wasn't sincere. "Ah stop it Miroku-Sama, you're embarrassing me!"
"But its true!"
Inuyasha growled and interjected. "Okay that's enough Bouzo!"
"Ah, yes I remember! You are the only one allowed to compliment her! I suppose that's how couples are."
"IF you ever say that again I'll kill you!" Inuyasha attempted to threaten but he was blushing and his voice shook a bit. Although this would have scared any normal person, the people who knew Inuyasha that he was bluffing. They knew he was bluffing even if he wasn't nervous.
Kagome put an end to the banter. "Calm down Inuyasha. Besides we need to start moving. I think I feel the presence of a shard over in the east. We should try and get it before a demon does."
Inuyasha inhaled through his teeth, making a hissing noise. He was trying to keep his hot anger caused by his embarrassment under control. He exhaled, the shard was more important than any stab Miroku could make at him. "Yes, let's just move out." He turned and headed off towards the east where the shard supposedly was. Everyone else followed.
Miroku smiled to his self. His plan had worked he knew that making fun of Inuyasha would cause him to want to leave. He himself didn't want to stay here to long. He would like to find the shard as well, but not for himself of course. He had long since given up hope of saving himself, there was no point. His father and grandfather had been better than him in every aspect. They had been better monks, better fighters, better at using talismans and over spells and simply overall better people. If they couldn't do it how could he?
He had stopped collecting the jewels for himself, but he had then decided maybe he could help others by collecting the shards. If he collected shards that kept them out of the clutches of demons and that protected villages from being destroyed. Then he had met Inuyasha and Kagome and decided to help their cause. It felt right to be helping Inuyasha seek revenge on Naraku. Sometimes he was so absorbed in helping them he could almost forget the past; almost but not quite.
His foot hit something on the ground and sent it skidding a few feet in front of him. His knife. He picked it up and set it back inside his robe. He couldn't believe he had forgotten it. It was good he had found it; he could not live with out it.
Sango watched him with her pity clear on her face.
*~*~*~*
Half the day went by without any excitement. Then again for the group excitement was hard to come by nowadays. Fighting demons was so overdone that it was same old thing every time. Fighting a powerful demon with a shard on the other hand was not exciting but was instead grueling. Then out of the plain old day came something interesting.
In one part of the forest all the trees had been destroyed. They were all bent over and huge chunks had been torn out of them. Other trees had been completely ripped up and were lying across the ground like graves for the former natural wonders they once were. There were also huge gauges in the ground. And all through out the horrid place there was blood splatters.
"A demon was here." Kagome stated her voice shaking a bit.
"Do you think its still around?" Shippou gulped.
Sango put her hand on the Hiraikotsu; prepared to use it if needed. "Probably is considering the luck we have concerning demons."
"No its not here…" Inuyasha growled. "It's probably out to feed…! I smell blood!" Inuyasha took off towards the smell as fast as he could. Please let no one be hurt! He thought. Let us catch it before it kills! The scent was getting more powerful. He heard his friends telling him to slow down, but he couldn't. If he could make it there in time… The smell began to become over powering; he resisted the urge to gag. He could see the end of the forest ahead the source of the blood. He broke through the forest and slid to a stop. He heard the harsh breathing and foot steps of his friends behind him stop and knew they were seeing the same sight.
They were standing outside a fenced in pasture of a village. The grass was lush and green; perfect for livestock. Except… Hundreds of corpses of slaughtered sheep and cows littered the field. There entrails were strewn about; coming from horrid rips in their stomachs. Their blood stained the earth like paint on a painting of death. The animal's eyes were bulging out of their sockets in fear as if they too were witnessing the ghastly scene. The smell of blood filled the air and seemed to replace it, making it feel as though you were breathing blood.
The villagers were standing around the fence staring unbelieving at the slaughter before them. Some just stared blankly at the scene; unable to look away. Others were crying softly. Children were hiding their faces in their parent's clothes, trying to get the image out of their minds.
Miroku struggled to keep himself breathing. Horrible nausea came upon him. Blood, so much blood…death…killing…despair. Mother… It was too much like before. To much like before! He had to get away! He had to cut; he had to easethe pain. It was the only way, the…only…way…
"You!" A cry broke through the air. An old man was standing before them, pointing at them. His face was wet with tears and he was shaking. He was clinging to the sickle in his hands like his life depended on it. His wife (Or whom they assumed to be his wife) was standing behind him with her hands over her mouth looking terrified. "You did this!"
"No! We didn't!" Kagome cried.
"Why should I believe you?!" You witch with your odd clothes and demon companions! You have damned this village to hell! We have nothing to eat! We all shall starve! Now you have returned just to marvel at the destruction you have caused! You evil witch!
Kagome looked ready to cry and Inuyasha took a step towards the old man. "Listen here you old coot-" Wham. The sickle went flying past Inuyasha's cheek and stuck in a tree behind him. It been so close to him it had cut off a few of his silver hairs.
"Don't speak to me you vile demon! Leave this village and burn in the pits of hell! Murderers, murderers, murderers!" The old man raved. His wife laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Come dear, don't provoke them. What if they start attacking people?"
"I don't care," The old man snarled; jerking away from her. "We are already dead. They have killed us." And he broke down sobbing.
"Let's leave," Sango whispered. The others nodded and slowly turned around. They walked slowly away from the village. No one spoke at all. No one could remove the image of the old man screaming at them out of their heads. They came to a clearing and everyone sat down. All of them were too absorbed in their own thoughts to speak with each other. Everyone was so confused and weary after that unnerving encounter.
Miroku grit his teeth. He could feel bile rising up in his throat as the nausea overwhelmed him. He clapped a hand over his mouth and staggered to his feet. He rushed pass his friends over to were the forest was deeper; he doubted they even noticed. He stumbled into the woods; dropped to his knees and vomited. He retched until he was dry-heaving and tears were running down his face from gagging. He hated blood so much… He was suddenly aware of a hand rubbing his back in smooth calming circles. He looked back and saw Sango.
"Are you okay?" She asked him softly. He nodded weakly. He remembered back to last night; the words she had spoken to him.
Last night…when you said you would help me…did you mean it?" He asked her. He stared at the ground still on his hands and knees.
Sango's eyes widened at the question, but then she smiled weakly. "Yes, of course I meant it."
"I…" He didn't want to cut himself; he knew it was sick and wrong. But there was no other way to ease the pain, wasn't it? "I want…you…t-to…help m-me."
Sango took his hand and held it; he looked up at her. "I will."
That's all for chapter two!
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