Alrighty, this is my first TT fic (actually, my first ever fanfic), so I'm learning. Keep in mind that lighter stuff is usually my forte; I was temporarily depressed from reading another fanfiction while I wrote this.:)
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I don't own a ferret, either.
She had to escape. The high emotions in this room were just too much. Raven glanced once more at the four other Titans- Beast Boy and Cyborg were in the middle of a heated debate over where tofu came from, while Robin was teaching Starfire how to play some game on the GameStation- before collecting up her book and leaving the room.
Now, in the safety of her own, dark room, Raven let out a sigh. She lit a couple of candles before sitting cross-legged on her bed, trying desperately to concentrate on feeling absolutely nothing. This had gotten progressively harder as she grew to know each of the Titans better.
Robin. She gave a small smile at the thought, instinctively reaching up to catch her pillow as it attempted to fly across the room. The Boy Wonder was obsessed with the capture of Slade, so much so that he could go for days, fueled only by the smallest hint of a lead. He and Raven were similar in their own ways; both somewhat pessimistic, though Raven much more so. They understood and respected each other, and gave each other their space, though they inevitably got on each other's nerves from time to time.
Starfire was very much everything that Raven was not. She was happy, bouncy, and cheerful, and delighted in merely being in the company of friends. Because of this, she didn't do so well on her lonesome. Her powers, like Raven's, were emotion-based, but, unlike Raven, she needed to feel strongly in order to use them. The alien girl was what kept the team's spirits up in even the bleakest times. Raven had the same affection for her that a sister might have for a younger sibling, though it was hidden, of course.
Cyborg was like an older brother to Raven. The two got along fairly well, occasionally getting on each other's nerves. He was very protective of his stuff, so he and Beast Boy were almost constantly bickering, because Beast Boy seemed to feel a compulsive need to mess with anything that wasn't his.
Beast Boy. Raven mentally frowned, finding it much safer than actually expressing the emotion. Her relationship with Beast Boy was... rocky, to say the least. For the longest time, she couldn't stand him; the way he could bounce around in his little egotistical way, spewing corny lines and bad jokes, while she was forced to suppress every emotion. She envied him for that, but couldn't understand why she didn't feel the same way around Starfire.
She no longer hated Beast Boy, at least. She could stand him, to some extent; the two had actually managed to become friends, though Raven couldn't allow him to come too close to her, for fear that she might unknowingly let down her guard one day and hurt him. This fact tormented her constantly, especially as she watched the others fight with each other, learn together, and cheer each other on. It just wasn't fair.
But life wasn't fair. She had to accept this. She had to deal with the fact that she would always be the outsider, watching the others interact with a book in hand, her only close companion.
Raven glanced at the mirror into her mind, immediately looking away. She didn't feel like talking to her emotions right now. The fact that knowing that they were all right there, begging to be let out, made holding them back that much harder. Every day, every hour, every minute, she toiled endlessly to build an emotionless barrier, and to hold it up under the pressure of living with four other hormone-driven teenagers.
This could definitely be easier. Given her space, she could easily keep her emotions in check without fear of hurting someone or blowing something up. But no. Someone had to constantly be in her space, forcing her to retreat even farther into her mind. That someone was Beast Boy. He was forever trying to get her to open up to him, something that she adamantly refused to do.
'Why doesn't he get it?' she thought to herself, clenching her teeth. Why couldn't he just leave her alone like everyone else? She could not, would not open up to him. She could not ever tell him her hopes and dreams, and her deepest fears. She could never, ever show him who the real Raven was.
A reluctant tear slid down her cheek. 'No, no!' she thought to herself, squeezing her eyes shut in forced concentration. She couldn't break down. Not now. Crying over her situation meant that she pitied herself, and she had no tolerance for self-pity. She couldn't afford it.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azar-" It was no use. The pillow once more flew off the bed, hitting the opposite wall with a dull thud. A black wind flew about the room, blowing out the candles. Books leaped off the shelves, landing all around her, and a vase shattered, showering broken glass everywhere. Within a couple of moments, though, Raven regained control of her emotions, and silence reigned, a drastic change to the chaos from a couple moments before.
Breathing deeply, Raven strained to hear if anyone was coming, but the cheerful noise from below continued on as if nothing had happened. No one had noticed. No one had heard the commotion that had resulted from Raven accidentally letting herself go. Just as always, she was left to suffer alone, in the dark.