Authors note: Cutting is a serious issue; it is a sign of depression and depression is mental illness.  If you know someone who is cutting themselves tell someone you trust right away.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it Characters.  All are property of their respective owners

A Silent Knife

Chapter Three

Deeper and Darker

        They were making their way through the ever vast woods of the Sengoku Jidai.  The group had an order in which they traveled.  It was always Inuyasha leading the way followed closely by Kagome and Shippou, then Sango and finally himself, Miroku.  It was as though there were so many things in the Sengoku Jidai they couldn't control; that every decided walking would be something they could control.

        Its dark out, Miroku thought.  Darker than usual.  Although it was midday the sky was horribly overcast.  Not a single direct ray of sunshine made it through.  It was very ironic.  Everyone still had yesterday's events fresh in their minds.  All of them felt dark and gloomy on the inside.  It was as though the sky was reflecting their feelings.

        But Miroku wasn't feeling so horrible.  In fact he almost felt happy.  Sango wanted to help him; Sango cared about him.  No one except for perhaps his mother had ever wanted to help him with any of his problems.  He had always had to rely only on himself.  But now he maybe since he had Sango with him he could finally stop cutting.  IF he couldn't stop cutting for himself maybe, he could stop it for Sango.

        "Stop dragging your feet, Houshi!"  Inuyasha's voice snapped at him from behind.  Miroku turned around in shock.  Inuyasha had just been in front of him!  How did he get back here?

        "I-Inuyasha?" Miroku sputtered still in a state of surprise.  "What?"

        Inuyasha rolled his eyes at him.  "I saw you back there all in lost in your thoughts and shit.  A youkai could have easily come and picked you off and we never would have noticed.  And then you'd be dead and we'd be wondering were the hell you were!" 

        Miroku stumbled as Inuyasha shoved him closer to the rest of the group.  "Your concern is appreciated I guess."   Inuyasha snorted and using his youkai abilities leapt back to the front of the line.  Miroku smiled to himself.  Even Inuyasha cared about him even though he didn't show it.  He was so lucky.  He had so many great friends even though he didn't deserve them.  Life is odd that way Miroku thought.

        "Houshi-Sama," a soft voice called.  He looked up and saw Sango looking back at him.  "Come up and walk with me."

        Miroku blinked.  This was new; Sango never wanted to walk with him before.  Why all of a sudden?  He sped up to walk side by side with her.  "Yes Sango?"

        "Do you really want my help?  About breaking your…habit"

        Miroku blanched.  That hadn't been what he had been expecting her to ask.  But he should have known that it would come up sooner or later.  But all the same it was a bit of an unfair question in his opinion.  After all, why would he lie to her?  "O-of  c-course I d-do."  She stumbled over his words still a little surprised at the question.

         She stared at him for awhile.  It was as though she was trying to scare him to make sure he was telling the truth.  Just as soon as Miroku was starting to feel uncomfortable, she nodded.  "All right then, but can I see something?"

        "What?"

        "Your arm." 

        Miroku was tempted to say no.  He wanted to say no.  But he knew deep inside that if he wanted to stop cutting he would have to let her see.  He would have to take off the mask and let her see the real him.  So instead he replied.  "Okay."  He reached over and pulled up the sleeve on his left arm.  He saw Sango's eyes widen.  Her eyes traveled over the mass of cuts and scars on his arm; the disgust showing on her face.  Miroku was beginning to really regret showing her at all.  He knew she would find him disgusting.  He had been so stupid.

        Then he felt something.  Sango was slowly running her fingers across his arm.  Not in a sexual way, but a gentle motherly way.  Miroku sighed he almost felt as though his scars could heal just by Sango's simple touch.  To Miroku it seemed as though the two of them were frozen in time.  Nothing else mattered at that moment.  Not Kohaku, not the Kazaana, not Naraku, not anything. 

        At the moment he saw something in Sango.  Not the powerful Taijiya he usually saw, but a different Sango.  A Sango that was feminine and delicate.  He saw a woman who could nurture and understand.  It was then Miroku found Sango to be the most beautiful thing in the world.  It was at that moment that Miroku found the reason why he loved Sango.

        "Oi, you two!  Move it!"  Inuyasha's voice broke through the air.  Miroku and Sango jumped and quickly broke apart.  Sango hastily removed her hand from Miroku's arm.

        Thanks a lot Inuyasha, Miroku thought.  He was feeling now slightly bitter towards the half-youkai for coming between him and Sango.  But truthfully he couldn't penalize Inuyasha because he had come between him and Kagome countless times.  What went around came around he supposed.

       Then Miroku realized something, the area they were walking through looked familiar.  Had they been walking in circles?  No, that didn't seem to be right.  Inuyasha had led them many times before and never had led them in circles.  It had to be something else. Suddenly it dawned on him. This was, Miroku remembered with a jolt, the same place they had been walking the other day just before…everything happened. 

        "No."  Miroku let the word escape his lips.  He would not go back there.  He would not see the blood again.  He would not look at the villager's sobbing faces again.  Please Inuyasha, he thought as though his prayers could reach the half-youkai.  Please, don't take us back there, to that place.

        Then as they were walking, Sango made and abrupt turn away from the direction they had been walking in.  Miroku blinked in surprise and looked up over her shoulder.  It hadn't just been her turning; Inuyasha was leading them away from the village!  Miroku made a mental note to get a nice hotel for Inuyasha in the next village.  He knew he should have had more faith in him.

        The path was widening and so Miroku moved up to walk beside Inuyasha.  Sango followed and walked beside Kagome.  They hadn't walked liket his for awhile and it was a nice change to have to hear everyone's voices coming from afar.

        "I think that there is another village up ahead.  We can stock up on supplies and get something to eat."  Kagome spoke up.

        Miroku smirked.  "And if you get tired Kagome-Sama I can always get us a nice hotel."

        "Watch your self, Houshi," Inuyasha growled.  Miroku grinned.  One of the few things he got pleasure out of was watching his friend's reactions to himself. 

        "Can we get some goodies too, Kagome?" Shippou piped up.

        "Of course!"

        So they walked along; laughing and joking.  This was relaxing and enjoyable.  It was something that they barely had time to do; just to sit and talk.  The sun was slowly coming out from behind the clouds; lighting up the dark day.  The forest soon faded into fields filled with cattle, rice and other things.  Then wooden shapes appeared in view.  "It must be the village." Kagome said happily.  "Oh I can't wait to be able to take a nice bath!"

        They walked up to the entrance of the village; nothing could have prepared them for what they were about to witness.  It was a mass slaughter.  Not a single person alive.  The lovers were still embracing each other and the mothers were still clutching their children trying to protect them.  Men, women and even children all dead in the streets, the killer had shown no mercy.  There were massive holes in their backs where their hearts had been ripped out; just like the livestock at the previous village.  But most horrid of all was at the top of a pile of bodies; it was the corpse of a baby impaled upon a stick.

        Miroku dropped to his knees and vomited.  He had seen massacres before, but not like this, never like this.  It was too much.  The killings yesterday and then again today; it was simply too much.

        "Who did this?" Kagome breathed.

        "A youkai no doubt." Inuyasha said in a breathless voice.

        "Why, Inuyasha, why?" Shippou sniffled.

        "I don't know." Was all he could say.

        "Don't you see?" Miroku hissed at them; they were such fools.  Couldn't they see it?  "This is the same as yesterday!  This was done by the youkai!  If we had gone after it this wouldn't have happened!"

        "No, that-that's not true; it can't be true." Inuyasha mumbled.

        "It is," Sango said sadly.  "It is the same.  We didn't kill it so it-it killed more."

        Inuyasha swallowed.  "That still doesn't make it our fault.  But let's…ah…kill it now."

        "No!" Miroku cried.  "I just can't do it right now, Inuyasha!  I just can't…" He wanted to cut; he had to make himself hurt to ease the pain.

        "Fine, you stay here and Kagome and I will get it."

        "No, Inuyasha," Kagome said softly.  "I can't do it either.  Please let's just get out of here."

        Kagome turned and began to run; Inuyasha followed her.  Sango grabbed Miroku's hand and pulled him to his feet and they ran.  They ran from the scene; from their fear and mainly from their guilt.  They sat down in clearing and Kagome started to make a fire.  Sango began cleaning her Hiraikotsu and Inuyasha went to catch some fish.  They were all trying to distract their minds from everything that had happened.

        Miroku's fingers twitched.  He needed to cut, but he couldn't do it here.  He would have to wait until night.  Miroku cringed.  He didn't know if he had the self control to wait that long this time.  He had to though.  He knew he was supposed to be stopping, but he was addicted.  He was like an addict and the knife was his fix.  He couldn't stop.

        The rest of the night passed by in a huge blur.  Miroku seriously doubted that he could remember anything about it.  Everyone had finally gone quiet and so he could begin.  He held the knife in his right hand and held out his left arm.  This time he cut much closer to his hand.  He smiled as euphoria filled his heart and mind.  He was blinded by it.  He was attached to that feeling and never wanted to let go. 

        Miroku leaned back against the tree.  He felt relieved.  It was as though he had just rid himself of a great burden.  He sat there for awhile; breathing and thinking to calm himself.  After a minute or so he made to go to sleep.   As he ran his hands along the gorund; checking for rocks and other things that could disrupt his sleep, he felt something.  Liquid was running down his arm and all over his hand.  He pulled back his sleeve to look at it and gasped.  It was blood.  He was still bleeding from his cut.  He wiped the blood off with his sleeve and looked at it.  The blood was still flowing freely.  He gathered some of his sleeve and pressed it to the wound.  He held it there for thirty seconds and then looked again; still nothing.

        Miroku then noticed he was feeling slightly light-headed.  It was from blood loss.  He gasped as the world spun slightly.  He didn't want to believe but he knew it was true.  He had gone too far this time; too far and too deep.       

        He needed Sango.  She was the only one who could help him now, or else he would die.

NOTE:  Yes, it is possible to bleed to death very quickly by cutting your wrists too deep.  You can die like within minutes if you cut the artery really deep.  But most of you probably already knew that, right?

That's all for chapter three! 

Sorry for not updating for so long but it was the end of the year and I had tons of homework and tests.  But now its summer so I should be able to update frequently.

I want to thank everyone for reviewing!  You guys are awesome!

Review so I know that people are interested in this story and like it.  So please, please, please review!!