Authors note: Cutting is a serious issue; it is a sign of depression and depression is mental illness. If you know someone who is cutting themselves tell someone you trust right away.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it Characters. All are property of their respective owners

Authors note: Cutting is a serious issue; it is a sign of depression and depression is mental illness. If you know someone who is cutting themselves tell someone you trust right away.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it Characters. All are property of their respective owners

A Silent Knife

Chapter Four

Lost Within the Shadows

"Sango?" Someone was calling her name. "Sango please help!"

"What?" She mumbled, still half-asleep. A drop of liquid dropped onto her cheek and she wiped it off. It was sticky…it was blood. She bolted up right and she found herself face to face with Miroku. He was horribly pale and he was clutching his wrist. Her eyes moved down to his wrist and saw, to her horror, that blood was running down it thick streams. "What did you do?"

"I…uh…cut and…it w-was…t-to deep! B-but it…ah…was a…accident!" Miroku mumbled. He was stumbling over his words and his speech was slightly slurred; almost as if he was drunk.

"What should I do?!" Sango cried. She was afraid, confused and in shock. She didn't know what to do with him. They all had had worse injuries but never ones where one could bleed to death so fast.

"I need you…to…help…me." Miroku's eyes rolled back into his head and fell forward onto her shoulder, unconscious. It was almost if he were asleep but his breathing was quick and shallow.

"Damn!" Sango cried. She didn't know how to save him! She wasn't a healer and never had been. She had only had the simplest of medical of medical training; only the simple dressing of wounds and minor things. But she had watched the healers work with her friends and family who had been injured by youkai on the job. She knew, only by watching, that a way to stop heavy bleeding was a tourniquet.

She pulled Miroku off her shoulder and lay him face up on the ground. She reached up and tugged out her hair ribbon so her long hair blew gently in the wind. She wrapped it around his wrist just under the cut and pulled it as tightly as it could go and then tied the ends in a knot so it wouldn't fall off. She had to be careful, though. Sometimes a tourniquet could cut off all the blood to the limb and then the limb would have to be amputated.

Miroku had once told her that he could never try to cut his hand off. She had asked him why he couldn't just cut the Kazaana hand off. He had told her that if he did the kazaana would go crazy and begin consuming him. So Sango could not tie the tourniquet too tightly but because she couldn't more blood still came out of the wound. She had to try and stop the blood flow another way too; Sango grabbed the sleeve of her kimono and ripped off a piece and tied it over the wound as a makeshift bandage.

Now she had to get Miroku to a safe haven. She rushed over to Kagome and shook her awake. Kagome groaned and tried to bat Sango's hands away but Sango shook her harder until she awoke. "Hmm? Sango-Chan…it's the middle of the night! What is it?"

"Kagome-Chan! It's Houshi-Sama, he's hurt!" Sango cried. She attempted to keep the panic out of her voice but found that she couldn't. But she could not allow her self to panic. If she got herself into a frenzied state; it would only harm Miroku, not help him.

Kagome sat upright quickly. "What?!" She gasped in disbelief. Sango pointed to where Miroku lay unconscious. Kagome's eyes followed the path on the ground to where Miroku was. She stared at the Houshi for awhile than turned to Sango and spoke one word. "how?"

"He-," Sango began. No, she couldn't tell Kagome. She had made a promise to Miroku to tell no one. Even in the state he was in she would not betray his trust in her. "I don't know."

Kagome seemed to believe her. "We have to wake Inuyasha." Kagome walked over to where Inuyasha slept up against a tree. "Inuyasha!" she cried urgently. "Inuyasha, wake up!"

Inuyasha moaned as his peaceful sleep was interrupted. His eyes opened halfway to look in Kagome's direction. "What happen-," Inuyasha's eyes snapped open suddenly. He stood up and began looking around. "I smell blood. And it's very near here and it's familiar." He growled in a low voice.

"It's Houshi-Sama!" Sango stepped in. "He's hurt and bleeding!"

"Miroku…?" Inuyasha asked surprised. He looked around the camp and saw Miroku lying by Sango's feet. Sango felt her heart clench as she saw Inuyasha's eyes rest on Miroku's wrist. "How did it happen?" the Hanyou asked.

Sango opened her mouth to say she didn't know but Kagome answered first. "We don't know."

"Really…" Inuyasha murmured and Sango saw his eyes flit back to Miroku's wrist and narrow. Sango watched him with baited breath until he finally nodded and spoke. "We need to get him help! Put him on my back and I'll take him to the village!" Sango and Kagome obeyed and walked over to Miroku and lifted him up by his arms. They struggled with his weight for awhile but finally got him on Inuyasha's back. Inuyasha gripped Miroku's legs to hold him steady and then turned to Sango and Kagome. "Follow me on Kirara; I'll be at the doctor's house in the first village we come to." Then he took off.

"Kirara!" Sango called the small creature forward. Kirara mewed her response and was engulfed in burning heat and fire; transforming in to her larger form. Sango threw her leg over Kirara's back and pulled herself onto the cat's back. Kagome grabbed Shippou who was still snoring away on the ground and climbed onto Kirara behind Sango. Kirara took to the air; following behind Inuyasha who was only a small dot in the distance.

Sango could vaguely hear Kagome talking to Shippou behind her. Kagome may have spoken to her a few times but gave up when she never responded. Sango was lost completely in her thoughts and feelings. Miroku was dieing. That was the main thought in her head. He had cut a main artery too deep and now might not even live. Why did he do it? Why?

He feels alone and scared. She thought. I've seen in it in his face when he spoke to her sometimes. I've seen it in the middle of the night when he slept. He doesn't trust anyone. That is why he is so hard to connect with. It is unfair he had to face it all alone. That's why I want to help him but was I fooling myself? Can he not be helped?

Do you really want to help him? A nasty little voice inside her head asked. Or you just want him to trust you so you can be with him? So he will make you his superficial lover?

NO! Sango thought furiously. It is true that I want him but I want to help him too, for him! Help him for himself!

Really? The voice asked. Are you sure about that? Your body aches for him. You want to become one with him; one in body and soul. Is this just not the easiest way to get that in which you want?

It's true, Sango thought back dully. I do want to be his lover but all he does is push me away. He touches me wrongly to signalize his dislike for my feelings to him. But I push him away too. I am dull and formal with him. Even if I help him nothing will change at all.

"Sango?" She felt someone put a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Kagome and suddenly remembered where she was. Kirara was now going through a village and people from the village where looking up at them and pointing.

"Yes, Kagome?"

"The Doctor's place is right up ahead. This is the only village we've come to so far so this must be where Inuyasha took Miroku. Are you going to tell Kirara to land?"

"Oh, right. Kirara, land up at this building!" Kirara growled her response and landed next to the building with a soft thud. Sango and Kagome hopped off Kirara so she could return to her original form. Sango noticed the villagers staring at them but ignored them. She ran into the building and up a staircase to the second floor where she assumed the sickrooms where. The second floor consisted of a long Hallway with six small rooms on each side where patients where held.

The door to the first room on the right was open which to Sango meant a new arrival. She looked in and saw Miroku lying on a cot with a doctor standing over him. Inuyasha was leaning against the wall watching the doctor work. "Miroku!" she cried out and ran over to his bedside. He was still horribly pale and sickly looking but her hair tie and bandage where gone from his arm. They had been replaced with crisp white professional bandages. Sango turned to the doctor. "Is he going to be okay?"

The doctor sighed and looked at her. "I'd like to tell you 'yes' missy, but that would be a lie. He's lost a lot of blood. The tourniquet and bandage saved him, without those he'd already be dead. But he's in a coma right now. He could either wake up or die."

"What can we do for him?" Sango asked as she felt her heart break into pieces. A soft cry from behind her told her that Kagome had heard the news too. She heard Inuyasha take a sharp intake of breath. Sango felt dull inside. She could not feel anything; she just felt completely numb.

"Talk to him. Tell him about things that happened in the past and things you want to do in the future. People in comas seem to beable to vaguely hear what's going on around them. People can wake up from these things. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen." The doctor gave her a small smile. "Now if you would excuse me I have other patients to attend to." He got up and walked out.

Sango reached out and took Miroku's hand. She whispered softly to him so no one else could hear. "Please Miroku come back to us. We need you. I need you. Please don't give up."

Outside it began to rain. Droplets of water hit the ground and brought life to the plants and animals. The sky cried and sobbed it's rain drop tears onto the sympathetic earth. The sky cried because Sango could not.

He was falling; falling down into deep black darkness. There was nothing around him. Nothing ahead and nothing behind; just black. He was drifting now. He drifted as though he was floating on water except that he was floating down. Finally he landed on what could be considered ground. But still, it was dark all around him.

"Where am I" Miroku called to no one.

Inside your heart, came a voice to his left. Miroku turned to find the source of the voice and gasped. He was standing there. It was he, Miroku as a small child. The child was dressed in the same clothes that he had worn when he was eight. The clothes he had worn wearing on the day his mother died, and he wore them on the day his father died.

"Who are you?!" Miroku asked of the child.

I am you, the child responded.

"No!" Miroku cried. "You can't be me! Only I am me!"

Hmm, perhaps I should rephrase myself, the child said thoughtfully. I am you; another part of you. I am your inner self, the deepest part of your mind. I am I guess what some people would call a subconscious.

"If that is what you truly are then why do you appear in that form?" Miroku asked suspiciously of the child.

Because this is how you want me to appear, the child said plainly. As odd as it seemed that made sense to Miroku. If this child was truly him, maybe he could help Miroku out of this place.

Miroku turned to the child. "Why am I here?"

You are here because you are dying. Your existence is fading from this lifetime. You are leaving, his inner-self explained with a sad note in his voice. Do you know why you are dying?

"I-," Miroku ran his finger across his arm. "I cut myself too deep…but why am I here still?! Shouldn't I be taken to Buddha and be reincarnated? Surely I have not yet reached nirvana!"

You are with me because unlike many others you have a choice. You can choose whether to live or die. Many mortal's deaths are predetermined, but not yours. There was intensity in the child's voice like none Miroku had ever heard before. No one on this earth or in the heavens knows what will happen to you. This may be your death it might not be. The choice is yours. So, do you want to live?

Miroku wrapped his arms around himself and sunk to his knees. "I-I don't know…"

Sorry for not updating for so long but I wasn't in the writing mood for a long time for some reason. Anyway this is the climax of the story. There will probably be only three or four more chapters after this.

I want to thank everyone for reviewing! You guys are great and you really inspire me to work on my stories because you like them so much.

So now please review so I know that people are interested in this story and like it. So please, please, please review!!