TITLE: Losing Grace formerly titled Green
DISCLAIMER: Nightworld concepts belong to LJ Smith. Characters belong to me…ask if in the unlikely event that any take your fancy and you want to use them. SUMMARY: "…Joseph would never use her like he had used other girls. He had never fed from her and never would unless she let him. Harri's name entered her mind unbidden; Harri was with her soulmate right now. Harri who's innocent smile made Gracie want to slash the girl's throat with a nice sharp and pointy kitchen knife…."Gracie Bismarck always knew that her relationship with her soulmate Joseph Hannah wouldn't be easy, but she never expected so many humans to get in her way.
WARNING: As you may have noticed from Chapter VI I like to use all of my English vocabulary…unfortunately this means that some words classified as 'swear,' words are used, simply because I'm not a saint and don't have the literary skill to imply that a character has used these words without actually stating what they are…sorry if this offends anyone.
Old Penguin: Sorry for the long wait between updates….yr 12 has this annoying habit of causing havoc in both my real life and my well….internet life….Thank you muchly for the humongous review. There is kind of some action in this bit….but it's still introspective-ish…I'm glad Harri's relatable….that's kind of what I intended with all of my characters…I didn't want them to be to unrealistic…but they are in and unrealistic situation so I'm sure sometimes I fail. Hopefully I'm aiming for this to be finished in fifteen chapters.
I'm scared that it is dragging on and all of my longer fics tend to end (or don't end) in a disappointing way, but hopefully it will be a brilliant ending as you said. Oh and about the soulmate link between Gracie and Joseph it is there, but they're not together because, well Joseph's been an arse to her really…
Terriah: I finally go 'round to it and updated! Thank you for reviewing over and over again…it makes me so glad to get them and I'm glad you like the fic so far
Pinkhaze: Harri is what she is. I know she's well…not a nice character, but there has to be a villain to be a hero. Thanks for your review.
CHAPTER XIII
Gracie was back in the library. She'd been briefed by Boss, and was allowed to go home. Gracie had to resist the impulse to roll her eyes at every word the woman had said.
The books hadn't been very useful last night. She had searched the leather volumes for an answer to the phenomenon but had come up blank. Half of the books in here weren't in English anyway. Gracie really, really wanted to give up, but to give up would mean to remain answerless and Gracie wanted an answer more.
Gracie continued to search, the book she had opened looked like English, but she couldn't be sure after all the words seem to be in English but there were apostrophes in strange places. Gracie sighed this was not working out. She knew she wasn't a top researcher and the librarian had looked her up and down when she had wandered into the library late the previous night. She thought about asking her father. Jake Bismarck would be able to at least read these things.
She glanced at the librarian; the bookish looking man was watching her. Probably scared that she would damage his precious books. "Excuse me,"
The librarian looked up. "Yes?"
"Do you have anything in English about the affects of powerful magick?" Gracie asked. The librarian's eyes narrowed.
"What do you need it for?" The question was asked suspiciously. Gracie wondered if she still had 'potential threat,' tattooed on her forehead.
"Personal interest," Gracie replied guardedly.
The librarian did not seem impressed by that answer and Rosie Willow's rushed entrance annoyed him further.
"Gracie," Rosie called. Gracie began to smile, but it shattered as she saw the expression on Rosie's face.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Um, there's something I need to show you." Rosie's ethereal presence overpowered the librarian's disapproval.
Gracie looked at the vampire girl quizzically. "What?" Gracie was curious, what had this girl so rushed?
Rosie shook her head indicating she had no time to explain. "C'mon," she beckoned her to leave.
Gracie closed the open book, and placed it on the librarian's desk. The bookish man rolled his eyes, "thanks."
Gracie left trying to catch to Rosie's speed. "Rosie? What is it?"
Rosie paused for a minute, before saying one word. "Ari."
Harri wandered the mall aimlessly. She did have an aim, to find something to wear to Maria Stapleton's birthday, but she felt aimless. As if she had been all set and prepared for something, only to be let down and see it combust.
Crying had never really helped her, but she felt like crying now. She had made up her mind, and she had rung him that morning, but no answer. The ring tone had filled her ears before there was monotone beeping. Oh, she didn't really understand what was going on. It was too confusing, and overwhelming. Every time she thought she had everything under strict control, something would be set free, like a thread being pulled loose, and destroying a beloved garment.
That was what annoyed her the most. The fact that saying yes to Joseph had felt right, and like she was back in control of her world and not in the whirlpool that Ari Lindsay had thrown her into. It was all very well to watch television shows like Buffy, Angel and Charmed, but the reality of it was way too much.
She turned into a shop; a brightly coloured shirt had caught the corner of her eye. It was in a flowing cut and she thought it would go well with her dark jeans. The examined the fabric closely. Half hoping she would feel content again, but she doubted it. It was silky as she ran her fingers over it, the smooth texture felt like liquid over her fingertips.
"Hey," the soft voice startled her from behind and she almost knocked the coat hangers off the stand.
Azure eyes bore into hers and for once Harri didn't feel like drowning in those dark depths. They didn't burn like the molten gold ones that she sought an unreasonable approval from.
"Hey," she replied, giving what she knew to be a false smile.
"What you doing?" Joseph inquired casually. The smoothness of his words unsettled Harri and Ari's words flickered back into her memory.
"Trying to find something to wear to Ria's," she pushed her disquieting thoughts down into a dark place where she could deal with them later. Now was for telling him she couldn't make it…
He moved passed her to examine the shirt she was previously looking at. "That would look nice on you," Harri could see it was an empty comment. Joseph wasn't entirely there she was sure of it. There was something about the way he seemed to be torn into another space; another world that she would never be a part of. Another world she never wanted to be a part of.
"I was thinking about trying it on," she added vacuously, internally kicking herself for not having the guts to bring up their plans. The small talk was becoming painful, and she still felt drained.
"What is it?" Joseph asked. Harri was shocked to see his oceanic eyes studying her intently. The blueness of them made her uneasy, and they looked like they could pierce her very soul.
"Hmm?" she asked confused, "it's a shirt?" no he knows it a shirt. "What do you mean?" The words came out like a rushed waterfall. Tumbling into each other and she was sure they weren't coherent.
Amazingly he understood her confused, embarrassed slurred words. "You seem kind of… I dunno, tense? What's bothering you?"
His concern could have melted her, and a few days ago. She was sure it would have. Except now, every thing had somehow changed, and the world she lived in before wasn't the world she was breathing air in now.
"Oh, I just remembered," she faked with seventeen years worth of skill. "I have to look after Sally this arvo," she rested a hand on Joseph's forearm, "I'm sorry. I totally forgot about it, until Mum reminded me this morning. I tried to call you but no one was there."
Joseph looked at her for a few moments. The briefest flash of ice appeared in those sapphire pools, and if Harri hadn't been told that the boy in front of her was a vampire then the flash would have confirmed it. "You're still going to Ria Stapleton's party though."
Damn, Harri cursed inwardly, "It's only for the afternoon, Mum and Dad have got this luncheon thing on, and it finishes at about five I think."
The lies were seamless, and Harri began to wonder if she had imagined the change she had felt herself go through. "Oh," disappointment edged in his soft seductive voice.
"Yeah, sorry, but they've had this thing planned for a while, and I totally forgot," she slapped herself lightly on the forehead. "I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry."
Joseph have a teensy sad smile, "Nah, don't be," he reassured her. "How 'bout we get a drink now?" A hand was about to slide around her waist when two things happened. An abusive and cursing Peter Haywood started shouting at the vampire beside her, while she pondered Joseph's meaning of the word 'drink.'
The ceiling was beginning to get intensely boring. Ari had traced every line and panel in the warehouse's ceiling with his burning gold eyes and he had found nothing new since the first time he had examined it…although if he tilted his head to the side her could faintly make out the shape of a bunny rabbit amongst the brown stains.
The footsteps drew him out of his reverie. "He's in here," Rosie voice guided the unknown stranger.
The two pairs of footstep came closer, and one of the walkers was lighter-footed than the other.
"Where the hell did you go Ari?" Gracie's voice swelled with anger. He had been another worry embedded in the back of her mind. The news that he had gone missing had made her uneasy. She was grateful now that he had the foresight and the understanding to prevent the worse mistakes she could have ever made. Oh, Gracie still longed for revenge on the callous human girl who had taken her soulmate away from her, but now she was clear headed and knew what consequences of those actions would be.
Ari stared at her. The golden eyes looked shocked, and he shook his head over and over again.
"This is not happening," he whispered, and Gracie didn't understand.
"What's wrong with him Rosie?"
Rosie bit her lip. Snide comments were bursting to get out. "I think he can explain," her tone was cold, and it sent pinpricks of shivers up Gracie's spine.
Ari twisted his head to the direction Rosie's voice had emanated from. "Why'd you bring her here?"
Rosie wanted to laugh, "you know why." She paused, "I'll leave you alone for a bit."
Gracie wondered at Rosie's words. The vampire had been so determined to find her. Ari sighed softly, exasperation flowing freely.
"Ari?" Gracie enquired cautiously. "What's going on?" She looked down at his bundled figure. His eyes no longer burned molten gold; they had faded to a sad, solid amber. The angel of vengeance had fallen from heaven. A sad smile laced Ari's lips and Gracie felt nervousness envelope her body.
"Lots of things."
The vague answer did not sooth her concerns. "Why did you leave?" Gracie remembered his adamant protests on her feelings of revenge, and the sad regretful look in his eyes the last time she had seen him. "What did you do?" the notes of her voice were sterner, and several things clicked in her tired and weary brain. "You didn't, did you?
The expression on Ari's face remained unchanged. The cool clean lines of his cheeks betrayed nothing of what he was thinking and "didn't what Gracie? I didn't do a lot of things."
The guarded responses were cutting at her patience. Rosie had dragged her out here for something. "Look, Ari I don't know what Rosie had in mind when she brought me out here. I got the impression that you had something to say to me."
Ari let out a faint laugh, and once again shivers sparkled up and down Gracie's spine. This was too eerie. In the faded light of the warehouse, Ari's mad laughter made her feel uncomfortable. The boy that lay before her wrapped in the grey blanket was not the boy she had known. Ari Linsday had always been there for her whether she wanted him or not. He had looked after her since the first day she had came to the CD centre. He has been there to laugh with, been there to help her, been in her Art classes. He invaded every memory she had for the last six years, a golden shining figure in the background. He had been the figure to stop her yesterday, been the voice of stable and un-bendable reason.
"Goodbye."
The single word made Gracie feel sick. It was an answer, a response to her demands, but it wasn't the response she wanted. "What?"
"Goodbye. Fare thee well. Sayonara. Adios-"
The serenade of goodbyes made her want to slap him. Gracie had no idea what was going on.
"If you don't shut up. I will hurt you." The threat was nothing but she had no patience left. There had been too much going on in her mind and she did not need some mad man rolled up in a grey blanket flinging a thesaurus of words at her, even if they were in other languages.
"That was what I had to say to you. I'm sorry Gracie. I have to leave, now if you will kindly get Rosie for me."
"Why are you leaving?" Gracie couldn't understand. There was nothing she knew of that called for the departure of the boy before her.
"Personal reasons," the words held a deadly poison in them. Gracie could almost feel the predator in him emerging through his voice. Gracie had never wanted to know this side of Ari. She didn't want to know this side of any of her predator friends. She knew that a caged animal was twice as perilous as a wild one, and a tame animal even more so. With a wild animal, you knew they dangerous. It was a given, but with a tamed one, you never knew when they would revert to their natural instincts and claw you to shreds.
"You didn't kill them did you?" the question had to be asked. The thought was too terrible, and she knew that it was half untrue. She could feel the faint tingling presence that told her that her soulmate was perfectly fine.
Ari's eyes narrowed. The burning gold coming back to life, there was something very poisonous in his thoughts, and Gracie would have given the world right then to know what it was. There was definitely something in Ari's mind that was making him irrational.
"No."
The single syllable hung in the air. The word was spoken quietly, but it held a metallic edge to it. An edge that was sharper than any blade that he possessed. Ari looked up at the witch that was searching him with slate-grey eyes. Frustration and concern bled from them and Gracie could feel herself wanting to curl up into a ball and collapse.
"I didn't kill Harriet Miller. I didn't kill your soulmate. I just can't stay around here any more Gracie." The sentences filled the chasm that was widening and Gracie could hear a tiredness in Ari's voice as he spoke. "I can't stay here and be surrounded by people like you, Harri and Joseph."
What's wrong with me? The thought nagged at her persistently and anger welled up in her stomach. "I like you Gracie, okay? I don't have anything against you."
Ari winced. Something inside of him was hurting. Something that he had kept hidden under so many layers was stinging and biting at him. He couldn't say it. He could never say it, and he had always known that. Yeah, he could say it to himself; he could admit it to Rosie, but telling the object of his affections that truth. No. It would cause too much dissent.
"Then why do you want to leave me?" the question was fair, and tension gathered around the words like dust accumulating on a mantelpiece.
"I love you Gracie." There he had said it. The whisper of words fell like a lead sinker in the air, the softness of his voice not hiding the harshness of the truth.
Gracie blinked. The eyelids covering the greyness of her eyes, "you want to leave me because you love me." She processed the new information out loud.
"No. I want to leave you, because you have a soulmate and I love you."
The clarification didn't help.
"Come again?" Gracie felt unsteady; she wished she had been sitting down when he had told her. Her legs felt weak, and her head was spinning. She reached out for something to hold on to.
"You have a soulmate, and I know it's not easy for you. I've had to watch him make you cry, I've seen him hurt you so much, but you still love him. You're still with him and I know that against him, I have no chance," Ari sighed, "I can't stay here anymore Gracie, I need to move on, because being here, being obsessed with you, and loving you isn't going to help me or anyone else."
"I'm not with him anymore." Gracie didn't know why she said it. His admissions had explained so much about his actions. Explained why he was always there in her memories, explained the way he looked at her. "Joseph and I…we broke up."
A salted tear trickled down her cheek. She wiped away the silvery liquid determined not to cry in front of this boy.
Ari glanced up at her, some fire returning to his dull golden eyes. He sobered when he saw the glistening tears on her cheeks. "I'm sorry Gracie. Rosie shouldn't have brought you here."
"No," Gracie said softly, "no, she did the right thing." She backed away from him, to lean against the cool brick wall. She needed something to steady her. She needed to think about what he had told her. "You should have told me you were leaving."
Ari gave her a regretful smile, "I would have, if I didn't think you'd stop me."
Gracie nodded, "I don't think I would have, not in that state anyway." Her grey eyes closed for a moment, she felt so drained. She was too unsteady, too full of torrents of emotion. She hadn't enough sleep, and this emotional downpour wasn't refreshing.
"I couldn't take that chance."
"What makes you think I won't stop you now?" Gracie stared straight at him.
"Well for starters, it's not you stopping me." Ari sighed, "Rosie won't let me go. She'll drag me back to the centre. She would have let me go by now if she was going to." Ari struggled a bit in his binds. "I never meant to hurt you."
Gracie gave him a sad smile. "I never meant to get hurt," the words rung with truth, "by you or anybody else."
"I'm sorry for anything I've done to hurt you."
Gracie smiled. "You should comeback. They'll forgive you, you know that right? I mean you were only gone twenty four hours max."
Ari shook his head, "I can't Gracie. There's nothing to forgive."
"Then there's no reason you shouldn't come back," Gracie's logic was adamant. The golden fires glance down, with something Gracie would only venture to call shame, shame and something else. Something else that she refused to name.
"There's plenty," Ari murmured softly, "Nothing's going to change Gracie, and it's not fair on you or myself."
"Comeback," Gracie began to plead, she knew that she had to keep Ari with Circle Daybreak, he had worked so hard to be a part of them. He had too much of a life there to just abandon it, because of something he felt towards her. "Please."
"So this is why Rosie brought you," Ari smirked as a purely manipulative thought entered his brain. "Emotional blackmail, I thought she didn't do that anymore."
Gracie let out a low growl of frustration. "Ari, please. It won't be the same with out you there."
Ari continued to refuse. "You're going to make me beg aren't you?"
Grey eyes narrowed, and Ari felt a suddenly wave of stupidity flow over him that was all his own; not his nuisance soulmate's. An aura of misty grey power lifted him, as the witch he loved whispered an incantation.
Ari wavered as she focused her power and called for his ex-partner's presence.
The inhuman beauty stepped through the open door, and her sparkling eyes widened as she saw Ari's hovering body.
"We're taking him back," Gracie told Rosie decisively. The vampiric girl nodded, an amused gleam cutting across her features. Ari stared at his captors. This was not happening.
Peter Haywood could not believe what was happening. That slimy blood-sucking leech…there he was, calmly chatting to that emotionless bitch. Peter wanted to slam a stake into that vampire's poor excuse for a heart right there, right then. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance against that inhuman beast, but that was all part of Joseph Hannah's unwavering arrogance, knowing that no human could win a fight against him.
Peter didn't want to fight. Peter wanted to kill. Wanted to kill them all, all of the filthy leeches. Rosie had said she used to be just like him, just like Joseph Hannah, just like all of the condescending badass vamps that hunted the earth. She was the only vampire he had ever met that possessed even a remote semblance of humanity. The rest, even the good ones, they were all monsters. Heartless, unfeeling, reckless monsters; they had no care for the hearts and souls of others. Joseph Hannah was prime example of that; he had no care for the heart and soul of Gracie. He didn't even give a damn about his own soulmate.
The girl standing seductively beside him was worse. A human. A human with no humanity. A girl whose tongues twisted lies into shape as easily as she breathed, a human who would smile contentedly at a weeping figure trying to mend a shattered soul. Harriet Miller should have been born dead. She should have been born into the nightworld. That was the place creatures who destroyed like her belonged.
Shouts of anger, and hate spewed forth from Peter's lips. Harriet looked up, fear, nervousness and confused moulded her face. Peter didn't notice. He didn't want to notice as Joseph tried to calm him. All he noticed was the way his stepsister's soulmate had a casual arm wrapped around Harriet. All he noticed was the quick deadly movements of Joseph Hannah as he deflected the first blow that Peter had tried to send his way.
Hate, anger, resentment, and loathing feed him. The pain of Joseph's quick movements injected itself into Peter's muscles.
Fury drove him; blow after blow, the cries of a girl did not reach him, as Peter pounded his fist into solid flesh.
Peter breathed, there was presence by his side, a presence that was leaning over him as he lay on the cold tiled floor of the shopping centre. A presence that was non-threatening, a presence that was shouting in his defence. A presence that he despised as much as the violation of nature that had knocked him down. His body was smarting, stinging with the needles of pain, pulsing as the blood rushed and coursed through his veins.
A thwack echoed through the air. Flesh hit flesh, and flesh hit the floor. Screams vibrated and angst danced forcefully amongst the notes. Abuse glittered in the form of unanswerable questions, and tears were shed.
The salt of a girl's tears dripped onto the dust-covered floor, as Peter tried to sit up and face the monsters that had brought him to this point. His head swum, and he crashed back down.